Snapshots #473: The Snapshots Job Centre!

Now then, Job-Seekers! Let's see if we can get all you lazy, good-for-nothing layabouts into gainful employment, shall we?

Let's see what jobs are on offer today...

15. She could be a grandma janitor now.

"A grandma janitor" was an anagram. Not a job. Pilot, on the other hand... well, I hope you have plenty of qualifications...

Joan Armatrading - Drop The Pilot

14. Calamari.

Squid - The Cleaner

13. Confused icon.

Nico - Janitor Of Lunacy

12. Flying without Wings.

Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

11. Sharon, Tracey, Dorien.

I never watched the TV show Birds of a Feather, but I understand those were their names.

Birds Of A Feather - Blacksmith Blues

10. The worst eBay muddle ever.

"Worst eBay" was an anagram.

The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues

9. What links Herman Melville to Shaun Ryder? 

Moby Dick meets Black Grape.

Moby Grape - Miller's Blues

8. These ladies are already queueing up to watch the new Avengers movie.

The Marvelettes - Please Mr. Postman

7. Not secured... or tight enough.

Loose Articles - Are You A Welder?

6. No one can hear them shooting.

The Silencers - Hey Mr. Bank Manager

5. Peck + Hayes & Asimov.

Gregory Isaacs - Night Nurse

4. Hugh Laurie meets and Jed Bartlett and Doyle.

Hugh played House. Jed Bartlett was played by Martin Sheen. Doyle by Martin Shaw.

Housemartins - Me And The Farmer

There's some great dancing in that video.

3. Get your brand new ecstasy tablets here! 

Fresh Es! Get your Fresh Es!

The Freshies - I'm in Love With the Girl on the Manchester Virgin Megastore Checkout Desk

2. Mark Everett is feeling down.

E is Sad.

Sade - Smooth Operator

1. Fry Greta. Refry. Simple enough instructions, if a little muddled.

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

If you think some of those were a bit obscure, you should see some of the ones I rejected. More employment opportunities later in the week...

Snapshots #415: Songs That Catch A Bus!

Thanks again to the wonderful Mr. John Medd for providing this week's Snapshots link... songs with words that relate to buses. Or, as John put it, "these artists have all recorded songs where one word in the title can suffix the word 'Bus'."

Did you catch them all?

15. The process of transferring certain residents' belongings from Number 15 to Number 9.

Obviously this clue referred to The Move... especially as a couple of prominent members of this band ended up forming the band at #9 today.

The Move - Turkish Tram Conductor Blues

Bus Conductor.

14. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Lyrics taken from Beautiful Boy, a song John Lennon wrote about his second son... although the line was coined by American journalist Allen Saunders in 1957.

Sean Lennon - Queue

Bus queue.

13. Sounds like some folky minstrels.

His name sounds like the New Christy Minstrels.

Lou Christie - Lightnin' Strikes

Bus strikes.

12. Am I seeings things correctly?

"Seeings" was an anagram.

Genesis - Time Table

Bus timetable.

11. Libertine Marquis.

The Marquis de Sade was a bit of a beggar.

Sade - Smooth Operator

Bus operator.

10. Quiet, please.

He was the Quiet Beatle.

George Harrison - All Things Must Pass 

Bus pass.

9. Leo was in turmoil.

Leo is a very short anagram for the band that evolved from The Move...

ELO - Ticket to the Moon

Bus ticket.

8. Troubled souls. 

They were on a Bridge Over Troubled Water...

Simon & Garfunkel - Baby Driver

Bus driver.

7. ...will be...

Boys will be Boys!

The Boys - Terminal Love

Bus terminal.

6. Give him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine.

Lyrics from The Laughing Gnome...

David Bowie - Station To Station

Bus station.

5. Toffish ogre... or ogreish toff? Neither, exactly.

Two anagrams for the price of one!

Foo Fighters - Times like These

Bus times.

4. Sounds like Cow-Cow, Shoo Shoo Morse.

Ella Mae Morse recorded Cow Cow Boogie and Shoo Shoo Baby.

Ella Mai - Trip

Bus trip.

3. Ann burned cow! That's out of order.

"Ann burned cow" was an anagram.

Duncan Browne - Journey

Bus journey.

2. My boy cracks the Da Vinci Code.

My boy is called Sam. The Da Vinci Code was written by Dan Brown.

Sam Brown - Stop

1. Two under par.

That would be an Eagle, golf fans!

The Eagles - Life In The Fast Lane

Bus lane.

Catch a bus back here again next Saturday for more of this nonsense!

Snapshots #291 - A Top 25 King Songs

In lieu of pledging allegiance to our new King, which I'm not about to do because I'M NOT A 17TH CENTURY KNIGHT, here are 25 songs in his "honour"...

25. Slip severely and jumble.

"Slip severely" is an anagram.

Elvis Presley - King Creole

24. Trendy appliance.

Fad Gadget - King of the Flies

23. Stare at the text closely.

Stare at the teXT Closely.

XTC - King For A Day

22. Musk without Nitrogen.

Take the N from Elon...

ELO - Rock n Roll Is King

Now that's a king I will pledge allegiance too!

21. This is what happens when you go out in the cold without a proper top on, ladies.

The Nipple Erectors - King of the Bop

Shane MacGowan's first band!

20. They say it all started in Wuhan...

China Crisis - King In A Catholic Style

19. They were probably mild-mannered.

Remember Penry, the mild-mannered janitor...?

The Janitors - Good To Be The King

18. A peach from the same town as John's angel.

John Prine sang of an Angel From Montgomery. Peach Melba.

Melba Montgomery - King of Kings

17. Derek Dick's having a wobble.

Derek Dick is Fish. Jelly wobbles.

Jellyfish - The King Is Half Undressed

16. Their leader crashed his bike.

Look out, look out, look out!

The Pack - King of Kings

15. What will you find inside Bob's adequate box?

Bob'S ADEquate box.

Sade - Your Love Is King

14. Eureka! Reno is where you'll find the solution.

EureKA REN O

Karen O - King

13. Hi-didly-ho, Glenn & Roger!

"Hi-didly-ho," is what Ned Flanders might say to Glenn & Roger Miller.

Ned Miller - From A Jack To A King

12. Brendan, all a muddle.

"Brendan" is an anagram.

Dan Bern - King of the World

11. Candy, Denver, Legend.

The Three Johns - King Car

10. Maybe she's caught a chill.

She looks a bit shivery to me.

Shivaree - Cannibal King

9. Michael Holliday had something similar.

Michael Holliday sang about the Story Of My Life.

My Life Story - The King Of Kissingdom

8. A big hit out of Radio Nowhere.

RaDIO Nowhere

Dion - King of the New York Streets

7. Tips for colouring.

Felt Tips are good for colouring.

Felt - Dismantled King is Off the Throne

6.  Anagram? Shh!

Graham Nash - I Used To Be A King

5. Sounds like Jack's aircrafts.

Jack White has quite a few planes by now, I'd imagine...

White Plains - When You Are A King

4. Thinly plot a mix up.

"Thinly plot" is an anagram.

Phil Lynott - King's Call

3. Where the Green Giant's son lives.

The Green Giant's son was called Sprout. He was like the Scrappy Doo of sweetcorn adverts.

I understand he lived in a prefab.

Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock n Roll

2. Something that gets passed down in the family.

Genes are hereditary.

Gene - We Could Be Kings

1. He tolls to conquer.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for William the Conqueror...

William Bell - A Tribute To A King

Just ten Snapshots for you next Saturday morning. I do like to get out of the house occasionally.