Above are a series of self-portraits taken by Austrian philosopher and photographer (although he gave them both up to become a shepherd in later life), Ludwig Wittgenstein. On pondering the great unanswerable philosophical questions, Wittgenstein came up with the best answer I've ever heard when he said, "I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
And with that in mind, here are some more big questions to ponder...
Thanks for playing. I'll be back with more existential questions for you to ponder tomorrow. 'Will Snapshots return next Saturday?' won't be one of them...
In case you've just arrived from another planet, iffypedia tells us that, "Jelly Babies are a type of soft sugar jelly sweets in the shape of plump babies, sold in a variety of colours." Something about the use of the phrase "plump babies" in that sentence makes me consider Jelly Babies in a far more sinister light than I ever have. If you have just arrived from another planet, please note that we do not eat human babies, no matter how plump and tasty they might look.
To make matters worse, Jelly Babies were originally called "Unclaimed Babies". I'd like to reiterate... we do not eat human babies, claimed or unclaimed.
Jelly Babies were a big favourite of Tom Baker's Doctor Who...
When Beatles fans found out that George Harrison liked the odd Jelly Baby, they started chucking them at the band. But they didn't have Jelly Babies in the USA, so when the band went over there, people chucked Jelly Beans at them instead. Which were a lot harder.
Beyond those guys, who else likes their Jelly Babies in the world of pop...?
Let's start with a classy B-side from Hot Chip...
You're choosing something sweet, you chew on something sweet A fleshy rubber made of me A packet does contain a beautiful refrain Least when the two of you stand free
I always thought Babs was such a sweet young thing. Like butter wouldn't melt. Then I saw the cover of the album that came from...
...which has surely got to be one of the worst album covers ever. You call your album ButterFly, and that's the image you decide to go with, Babs?
I subsequently learned that the album was solely produced by her then-boyfriend, Jon Peters... so I'm guessing clear heads might not have been involved in the cover selection process.
Guava Jelly was originally recorded by Bob Marley. And somehow, his version seems a lot less sordid...
But I've gone off on a tangent as I'm pretty sure neither Bob nor Babs were thinking about Jelly Babies when they sang that song (although the white powder the sweets are often covered in might have been of interest to Jon Peters).
Here's a whole shop full of sweets, including Jelly Babies, Rhubarb & Custard and a quarter of Sherbet Lemons...
But today's best tune comes from Ipswich punks The Adicts (originally known as Afterbirth, until wiser minds prevailed), from their 1985 album, Smart Alex. If only because it includes the lyrical couplet below...
Why do you have to be such a party-pooper? You wouldn't even dance to Alice Cooper!
Here's a member of the Partridge Family. Yesterday, we had Steve Coogan, aka Alan Partridge. I couldn't find a song with Partridge in the title, which almost derailed this quiz. And then I settled on the perfect solution...
12. Alias Harry & Jones.
Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby Jr. and David Robert Jones.
Check out the new video above, starring Mark Hammill, John Hamm and Weird Al Yankovich, among others. A lot of money was spent on it. I have no idea why.
(That wasn't actually a picture of Prince. But it was a Prince Christmas tree bauble. You can buy them on eBay. Or you might prefer to save your money.)
Two turtle doves...
1. Number One.
And because I couldn't find a song with a partridge in the title, I settled instead for this gentleman.
Andy Partridge.
Andy Partridge in a pear tree.
Here's a seasonal song from the man in question.
And, to close, the very best version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, from Father Jack himself, Frank Kelly...
Far more column inches would be devoted to Phil Spector's musical legacy this week... had the rest of his life been so filled with ignominy.
How often do you get to use a word like ignominy? The chance to do so was the final tipping point in my decision to compile this Top Ten. Little Stevie Van Zandt put it best earlier this week...
RIP Phil Spector. A genius irredeemably conflicted, he was the ultimate example of the Art always being better than the Artist, having made some of the greatest records in history based on the salvation of love while remaining incapable of giving or receiving love his whole life.
Let's put aside Spector the man and remember instead some of his finest creations...
A much-derided album, described by Rolling Stone as "the world's most flamboyant extrovert producing and arranging the world's most fatalist introvert" and by Leonard Cohen himself as "grotesque". It's not among my favourite Lenny records and parts of it plain don't work, but the title track (and a couple of others) are mesmerising if you devote enough time to them.
Some people don't like this song because of the whole "Krishna, Krishna" bit. Others call to attention the court case where Harrison was sued for "subconsciously" ripping off He's So Fine by The Chiffons. But people are generally wrong, I find, and this song never grows old.
The forgotten entry in Spector's back catalogue, yet still achingly beautiful. I remember reading a review of this album when it was re-issued in 2001, hunting it down and falling head over heels in love.
If aliens picked up transmissions from earth and these two songs were what they heard, they'd leave us alone because clearly we are a superior civilization.
Imagine having these three songs in your back catalogue and not being as big a household name as The Beatles, The Stones or David Bowie? There is no justice in the world.
You may know him better as the lead singer of the Georgia Satellites.
8. Moorland flowers explode like stars... just like Caine.
Heather goes nova.
Jules: First I'm gonna deliver this case to Marcellus, then, basically, I'm just gonna walk the earth. Vincent: What'cha mean walk the earth? Jules: You know, like Caine in Kung Fu. Walk from place to place, meet people... get into adventures.
