Namesakes #54: The Girls

After last week's bumper edition of bands called Boys, this seemed the obvious next step. Not quite as many as there were for The Boys, but some of them may try your patience (even George!).

As Ernie K. Doe sang, Here Come The Girls...

THE GIRLS #1

LA garage band made up of 4 Sandoval sisters (no relation to Hope, I checked). Lead singer Margaret got a degree in Ethnomusicology and then became a social worker. They released two singles in the mid-60s, with this Mann/Weil composition being the most successful.

THE GIRLS #2

Sly Stone (or Sly Stewart as he was back then) wrote this tune for a group called The Girls, I'm guessing sometime in the mid-60s. No further information was diggable.

THE GIRLS #3

Greek 16 year olds who released only one single in 1966, although it appears to have made something of an impact. I can understand why, it's definitely got something which lifts it above the usual generic beat band sound.

THE GIRLS #4

1969. Ugh. Try to last more than 30 seconds.

THE GIRLS #5

This is much better. A nice, soulful little none hit wonder from 1970...

GIRLS #6

"Japan's first female rock band", say some sources. Big fans of the Runaways, apparently. This is from 1978...

THE GIRLS #7

Well, last week we had a bunch of Boys who were actually girls, so it's only fair that we have a band called The Girls who are actually four blokes who were studying Art History at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts in 1979 when they put out this "Boho art-punk classic" (the youtuber also describes it as "seminal" too, but we won't go there).

THE GIRLS #8

Norway. 1981. Words fail me.

THE GIRLS #9

80s funk trio from Minneapolis led by Doris Ann Rhodes (we need more pop Dorises). Apparently, their "unusually erotic lyrics" might have held them back from mainstream success... I doubt that would be a hindrance these days.

Excuse me while I take a break for a cold shower. Or I could just listen to this...

THE GYRLZ #10

Terrible spelling. This sort of thing was deemed acceptable in 1988.

THE GIRLS #11

Hairy Swedish blokes from the early 90s...

THE GIRLS #12

More lads pretending to be lasses, from 2003. Beyond that, I can tell you very little.

THE GIRLS #13

Ditto the above, one year later.

GIRLS #14

More girls who are actually boys - this time, two grubby indie lads from San Francisco. Girls made quite a name for themselves back around 2009 / 2010, but I always thought it was a dumb band name in the internet age. Google "Girls" or even "Girls band" and you're really going to struggle for search engine optimisation. 

GIRLS #15

Brazilian girl group formed in 2013. Not really my thing, but they signed to Sony, so they must be somebody's thing.

THE GIRLS! #16

A band I actually found worthy of the exclamation mark, this a 6-piece power pop band from Columbus Ohio put out one album in 2014. I suspect they might have packed it in soon after, since their website hasn't been updated in the last 7 years. 

Good girls or bad girls? Which Girls are more fun?

Self-Help For Cynics #8: Monkey Mind

They prosecuted some poor sucker in these United States

For teaching that man descended from the apes

They coulda settled that case without a fuss or fight

If they'd seen me chasin' you, sugar, through the jungle last night

They'da called in that jury and a one two three said

Part man, part monkey, definitely

Bruce Springsteen - Part Man, Part Monkey

The idea of a monkey mind dates back to ancient Buddhist philosophy, where it refers to “a state of restlessness, capriciousness, and lack of control in one's thoughts”. The idea has evolved over the centuries, being bastardised and misappropriated as all ideas are, and these days it’s hard to find a clear definition that everyone agrees on. That’s what I’m finding, the more I read into mental health, much of it is theory backed up by evidence, but it’s all down to interpretation. Some sources tell me the monkey brain is just the amygdala, those tiny brain nuts I talked about last time, while others claim that the monkey holds sway over a much bigger portion of our mind. 

He takes me on a walk almost everyday

And boy does he have a lotta mean things to say

He takes me by the hand and then he starts to play

His little monkey game that never goes away

The Bobby Lees – Monkey Mind

Here’s what the wonderfully named “American Institute of Stress” has to say…

Our brain can be separated into three sections – our lizard brain, our monkey brain, and our human brain. The “lizard brain” is found at the base of the brain, and contains the cerebellum and brain stem. Lizards only have these elements of the brain, which controls our most basic instincts. The next part of the brain, the “monkey brain” includes the majority of our tissue, and controls more complex tasks as well as emotions. Most mammals lead with their “monkey brain”, which is fueled by our most basic responses to fear and desire.

The most advanced part of the brain is the “human brain”, which consists of the outer layer, surrounding the “monkey brain”. This area allows for logical, emotionless thought, as well as delayed gratification. It is by using our “human brain” that we are able to think through our responses, rather than just reacting. But, when we are faced with threats to our system, we don’t have time to stop and analyze what’s going on. During these times we are glad to have our “lizard” and “monkey” brains to get us to safety, through our fight or flight response.

For the basis of simplicity, I’m going to let sleeping lizards lie and deal only with the monkey, since it’s that little critter most sources seem to point the finger at in terms of jamming up our heads with stressful chimp-chat.

I woke up with my monkey mind raging

Going around all the things you were saying

Like let's put it on ice, it's not like we were married

You said you don't want things to get too heavy

Ella Hooper - Monkey Mind

Remember, the monkey mind is a very useful part of brain, because by protecting us from danger, it keeps us alive. Even when it’s maintaining our place in the monkey community rather than saving us from wild bears, it’s doing so because it thinks we have more chance of surviving as social beings than as loners. 

Echo & The Bunnymen - Monkeys

And that is the Number One job of our brain, because if we’re not alive, we can’t do any of the other stuff our brain wants to do, such as pondering the mysteries of the universe, or writing blog posts that nobody reads or finding obscure songs from the past that everybody's forgotten...

Douglas - Monkey Song

In the 21st Century though, the monkey can start to think everything is a threat. And that’s when we get hijacked by the monkey’s screaming, anxiety takes hold… and our mental health starts to suffer. 

Pixies - Monkey Gone To Heaven

So how do we deal with that? Paradoxically, some scientists believe that the answer is NOT To try to deal with it. To accept it… welcome it, even. We’ll get onto that. For now, the easiest first step is merely to understand it. Understand that there is a part of your brain that is programmed to panic purely as a way to keep you alive. Understand that it struggles nowadays to tell the difference between genuine immediate threats and vague, wishy-washy might-but-probably-won’t-ever-happen threats. Think of how many times the fire alarm has gone off at your place of work. And how many times has the building actually burnt down? (Unless you supplied the matches.) The monkey mind can’t tell the difference between a building on fire and a weekly test of the alarm. Once you realise that panic, anxiety and all kinds of symptoms of mental health are just the result of parts of your primitive brain doing stuff it probably doesn’t need to do anymore – once you realise that it’s not you, it’s the monkey – then you can begin to separate yourself from your thoughts. Psychologists call this defusion. Cognitive defusion – and by employing this strategy, you can defuse the bombs in your mind. Or so they tell me. Well, it’s got to be worth a try, hasn’t it? There's nothing wrong with hoping...

Try and be kind to Mr Humphries in Room 5

He gets grumpy trying to keep hope alive

And though the well is dried up

He won't give or shut up

He just keeps hoping

His advice to the young

'Always leave 'em wanting more

You can't calm the savage beast

But you can make him less of a bore.

The heart it don't need

Brave words or deeds

It just keeps hoping...'

Not that I want to give monkeys a bad name. After all, as Andre Williams reminds us, monkeys are actually a lot better creatures than human beings...

Snapshots #313: A Top Ten Hospital Songs

Next time I have to go into hospital, I hope I get a doctor like House. I don't care about bedside manner - I just want someone who can work out what's wrong with me and fix it, thanks.

We've all been in hospital this weekend though. Let's take a look at who else was on the ward...

10. Lou Grant, Perry White and J. Jonah Jameson.

Three famous fictional newspaper editors...

Editors - Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

9. Bloody mother fucking asshole.

That's how his daughter, Martha, described him...

Loudon Wainwright III - That Hospital

Or you could have had...

Loudon Wainwright III - Hospital Lady

8. Le handsome & honed males (though they are a bit befuddled).

Two anagrams for the price of one!

The Lemonheads - Hospital

7. Found in jesters, candlesticks and whooping cough.

JESters, CAndlesticks and wHOOPing cough.

Jesca Hoop - Hospital (Win Your Love)

6. Anarchists against Franco.

Know your European history.

The Durutti Column - Royal Infirmary

5. Frozen in your headlights.

Frightened Rabbit - State Hospital

4. Take a taxi down an immature road.

Take a cab down the callow-way.

Cab Calloway - St. James Infirmary 

3. Iced coffee made from a cheap instant blend.

Gold Blend make a lovely Frappuccino... actually, I doubt that very much.

Goldfrapp - A&E

2. Puree.

That's The Mash, aka session singers John and Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin and Ian Freebairn-Smith...

M*A*S*H*, as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.

The MASH - Theme From M*A*S*H*

This track was also memorably covered by the guys below... 

1. Disorientated in screechier apartments.

Screechier apartments is an anagram!

Manic Street Preachers - Roses In The Hospital

Good news - you're being discharged. But make sure you come back here for your outpatient appointment next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #313

By George! It must be time for some more Snapshots.

Identify the ten popular musicians (or groups of popular musicians) below, then work out how their songs might be connected...

10. Lou Grant, Perry White and J. Jonah Jameson.

9. Bloody mother fucking asshole.

8. Le handsome & honed males (though they are a bit befuddled).

7. Found in jesters, candlesticks and whooping cough.

6. Anarchists against Franco.

5. Frozen in your headlights.

4. Take a taxi down an immature road.

3. Iced coffee made from a cheap instant blend.

2. Puree.

1. Disorientated in screechier apartments.

Er... the answers will be here tomorrow morning.

TV On The Radio #18: The Hitman & Her

Remember when there were only four TV channels to choose from and you had to watch whatever was on at the time (unless you had a video recorder in your bedroom, and really, who lived in a house with more than one video recorder?). 

I was a teenager in the late 80s, and a bit of a night owl. I would often stay up late on a Saturday, watching old Universal horror movies or whichever Psycho sequel ITV were showing that week, but there came a point when most of the other channels closed down for the night and I was still awake... so the only option left was The Hitman & Her.

I know a lot of my contemporaries would watch this show after returning home from a night clubbing, and in that regard it was the perfect thing to broadcast at 2 o'clock in the morning. But for anyone who hated clubbing, despised Pete Waterman (in my head, he belongs in the same category as Peter Stringfellow and half the Radio One DJs who were investigated by Yewtree) and found dance music said nothing to them about their lives... well, it really was time to go to bed. In fact, the only redeeming factor to the show was Michaela Strachan... although every week, I did find myself asking what the hell she was doing there? I hope she was well paid.

Scouting For Girls - Michaela Strachan

Here's some Laurie Shaw, who has featured here before. Always worth a listen...

And then you wanted to get wild
Michaela Strachan style
But I think your dad gets his ideas
From “Plain Facts For Old and Young” 

Laurie Shaw - Rollover

(You'll be glad to know - well, I was, anyway - that I couldn't find any songs that mentioned Pete Waterman by name.)

"Why the hell are you writing about a TV show you despised?", you may well ask. Blame my good blogging friend SWC / Barry Stubbs (other pseudonyms have probably been used) over at No Badger Required, who reminded me back in June that the track at the end of this post features, "possibly the best song to ever mention naff 90s late night telly series ‘The Hitman and Her’." (You've no idea how glad I was that he considered it naff too.)

To be honest, I thought / hoped that the track in question would surely be the only one to mention this dreadful two hours of TV (which ran for a mind-flaying 4 and a bit years). Then I discovered this song about coming home late from the pub and still thinking you need more alcohol...

My fridge is full, it's tinnies heaven
Grab a four pack and a few tins more
On with the telly, slump on the floor
The Hitman & Her, I thankfully missed
Who gives a sod? I'm totally pissed

Lawnmower Deth - Tinnies Heaven

Overall, it seems no one has a good word to say for The Hitman & Her. (Unless you know different...)

I don't know what you think of this country
But I think that it's going to be bad
Happy shopper ecstasy, Bingo with Jesus
The Hitman & Her - Christ! I feel as though I'm going mad!

I should point out that there are 78 complete episodes of The Hitman & Her available to watch on youtube. Your. Life. Is. Too. Short.