I
believe I've passed the age of consciousness And
righteous rage I
found that just surviving was a noble fight I
once believed in causes too I
had my pointless point of view And
life went on no matter who was wrong or right
So far in this feature, I’ve looked in detail at all manner
of negative emotions, including sadness, anxiety, low self-esteem and paranoia.
But there’s one emotion I’ve danced around confronting face on, possibly
because it’s the one that scares me the most – in other people and in myself.
Anger.
Anger, can make you old
Yes it can
I said anger
Will make you sick children,
Anger - destroy your soul
I knew this was going to be a big one, and I knew it was
going to take some serious investigation to understand and… well, we’ll have to
see whether management is possible. That’ll come further down the line, I
guess. Let’s start with an attempt at understanding. And who better to help me
get to grips with this most unpleasant and destructive of emotions than our old
friend, sweary Dr. Faith? Her book Unfuck Your Brain certainly made my grey matter less opaque, so I
figured she might be able to offer similar insight with one of the follow-ups…
Almost straight away, Dr. Faith pointed me in another
direction, towards the work of Dr. R. Douglas Fields, a neuroscientist who
sought to find an answer to the anger inside him after he beat up a pickpocket
who tried to steal his wallet while he was on holiday in Barcelona. When I read
about his research, I couldn’t help but be reminded of this guy…
Since his creation in 1962, the Incredible Hulk has remained
one of the most consistently popular comic book characters because he appeals
to our most primal emotion: the desire to have a big tantrum and smash the shit
out of everything when life isn’t going our way. Unlike most other superheroes,
the Hulk doesn’t want to save the world, avenge the death of a loved one or
help those less powerful than he is. All he really wants is to be left alone.
As I tell my clients, “you are allowed to be crazy, but you aren’t allowed to act crazy. Being irritated as fuck
because someone jacked the parking spot you were waiting for? Totally legit.
Going postal over it? Not so helpful. Not so helpful to everyone around you,
not so helpful to greater society, and – for purely selfish reasons – not so
helpful to you.
As we've discussed in previous installments of this series, emotions are just the brain's way of sending us information designed to make us take action. However, our brains were designed for the primitive world - a world where everyone thought and spoke like Hulk, and fighting or fleeing were pretty much the only responses available if we were faced with saber-toothed tiger or another neanderthal from the tribe down the track who carried a bigger club. Sadly, we don't live in those times anymore, much as our brains might like to think we do...
Technology has evolved faster than humans, so we have
bodies adapted for simpler times. Instead of hunting, gathering, cuddling, and
napping, we are crossing more terrain on a daily basis, interacting with more
people, and taking in far more information than we are built to manage. It’s a
continuous overload.
How do we deal with that overload and stop Hulking out at every little thing that doesn't go our way? That's what I'm going to try to figure out over the next few weeks (though it could actually take months - there's a lot to digest). Because I don't want to be angry all the time, for the reason Bill Bixby explained in the simplest terms possible, back when I was a kid. "You won't like me when I'm angry." And we all want to be liked, right?
Next time I have to go into hospital, I hope I get a doctor like House. I don't care about bedside manner - I just want someone who can work out what's wrong with me and fix it, thanks.
We've all been in hospital this weekend though. Let's take a look at who else was on the ward...
You really didn't need the extra clue of Marlene Dietrich yesterday, did you? So you definitely won't need Claudia Schiffer, above. Still, they are both famous Germans. And here are ten (some famous, some not so) songs about Germany. Das ist gut!
6. Self-destructive patients correct, condense and control.
One where you had to guess the band to identify the song... but I did give you three different clues for the band! (If anyone got this after 9pm last night, apologies.)
3. Good for lighting a fire under your date - when you just want to get out into the country!
Tinder is, I understand, what da young peeps are using to hook up these days. (And the older peeps who are still at it... dating, I mean, since once you're past 40 that other stuff is but a distant memory.)
If you were sick of the city, you'd want to get out to the country.
