Sunday, 8 October 2023

Snapshots #313: A Top Ten Hospital Songs

Next time I have to go into hospital, I hope I get a doctor like House. I don't care about bedside manner - I just want someone who can work out what's wrong with me and fix it, thanks.

We've all been in hospital this weekend though. Let's take a look at who else was on the ward...


10. Lou Grant, Perry White and J. Jonah Jameson.

Three famous fictional newspaper editors...

Editors - Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

9. Bloody mother fucking asshole.

That's how his daughter, Martha, described him...

Loudon Wainwright III - That Hospital

Or you could have had...

Loudon Wainwright III - Hospital Lady

8. Le handsome & honed males (though they are a bit befuddled).

Two anagrams for the price of one!

The Lemonheads - Hospital

7. Found in jesters, candlesticks and whooping cough.

JESters, CAndlesticks and wHOOPing cough.

Jesca Hoop - Hospital (Win Your Love)

6. Anarchists against Franco.

Know your European history.

The Durutti Column - Royal Infirmary

5. Frozen in your headlights.

Frightened Rabbit - State Hospital

4. Take a taxi down an immature road.

Take a cab down the callow-way.

Cab Calloway - St. James Infirmary 

3. Iced coffee made from a cheap instant blend.

Gold Blend make a lovely Frappuccino... actually, I doubt that very much.

Goldfrapp - A&E

2. Puree.

That's The Mash, aka session singers John and Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin and Ian Freebairn-Smith...

M*A*S*H*, as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.

The MASH - Theme From M*A*S*H*

This track was also memorably covered by the guys below... 

1. Disorientated in screechier apartments.

Screechier apartments is an anagram!

Manic Street Preachers - Roses In The Hospital


Good news - you're being discharged. But make sure you come back here for your outpatient appointment next Saturday.


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