My Top Ten Spock Songs

There are some cultural icons who will never / can never / should never die. For my generation, and the one before it (and many of those who followed), they are our living legends.

I already posted one Top Ten today, but I guess that's lost to history now. There are some I have to write - and post - immediately. It's only logical.

RIP Leonard Nimoy. Live long and prosper in our memories. I have been, and always shall be, your friend.

(Special mention to Spock's Beard.)



10. Leonard Nimoy - The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

Let's start with the man himself, and possibly his most infamous musical moment. Derided in some quarters but still more watchable (shorter, at least) than any of the Peter Jackson movies. It's not the best song he ever recorded - he does a really nice version of Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town that's almost up to Kenny Rogers' standards - but the video is out of this world.

9. William Shatner - You'll Have Time

 It seems only fair that having heard from the great man himself, we also hear from this guy. I'm of the opinion that Shatner has recorded a great many fine records (don't worry, I'm on tablets), but this seemed most appropriate today...

Live life like you're gonna die...
Because you're gonna!

8. The Firm - Star Trekkin'

You probably ought to have been 15 in 1987 to appreciate this one.

It's life, Jim
But not as we know it...

7. Adam & The Ants - Friends 

Adam is a friend of Mr. Spock... and a bunch of other people too.

6. Old Gray - Vulcan Death Grip

A very nice noise, introduced by a famous soundbite from the man himself.

5. Paul Gilbert - Mr. Spock

Paul Gilbert used to be Mr. Big. But don't hold that against him. This is a great little spock-rock song.

4. Spizzenergi - Where's Captain Kirk?

Spock pulls them through.

3. Nerf Herder - Mr. Spock

Of course, strictly speaking, a nerf herder is from another galaxy, far, far away...

You don't want a boyfriend...
What you want is Mr. Spock!

2. The Beastie Boys - Intergalactic

If you try to knock me, you'll get mocked
I'll stir fry you in my wok
Your knees'll start shaking and your fingers pop
Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock

See also Sneakin' Out The Hospital, where Adam claims to be smarter than Spock. Never!

1. Supertramp - The Logical Song

Well, it had to be, didn't it? In the end, it was the only logical choice.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, 
Oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, 
Well they'd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

Those were my Spock songs. Which is the logical choice for you?

My Top Ten Pretender Songs

Every now and then I do a Top Ten where the Number One is so obvious, I wonder why I'm bothering. Let's all pretend we don't know how this will end up (although we can start taking bets on which version I pick) and focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Special mention, of course, to The Pretenders. If only they'd done an eponymous song...


10. Alisha's Attic - Pretender Got My Heart

You know I'm struggling to fill out the 10 song remit (it does occasionally happen when I set myself these challenges) when I end up stealing songs from the Bridget Jones soundtrack. But I used to dig Alisha's Attic back in the day, and it was either this or Out Came The Wolves... which might have been a bit too loud for some of you (though probably not Kelloggsville's other half).

9. Dr. Dog - The Pretender

When I first heard Dr. Dog's name, I assumed they'd be a hardcore rap act. Actually, this is quite a mellow little American alt-rock tune... I've no idea what it's all about, but it's got some cool guitars and nice harmonies. And it goes a little bit mental at the end. All good.

8. Joe Purdy - The Pretenders

Delicate Americana... the sort of thing Chris Martin nicks his best ideas from. Doesn't appear to be a tribute to Chrissie Hynde & co.

7. Kate & After - The Pretender

I now very little about Kate & After, and the internet isn't a big help. Not even sure how this one ended up in my collection... a free magazine CD? Anyway, I think they're Swedish (the lead singer's called Lindquist) and this appears to be from their 2012 debut album. Pretty cool.

6. Madonna - Pretender

This sounds very tinny compared to the lush (over-)production on much of her later work, but it holds a special place in my heart even though it's a bog standard pop song that I wouldn't even give a second listen to if it was recorded today by... I don't know, Miley Cyrus. But I was 12 when Like A Virgin came out, and though I didn't buy the album till years later, that was a very impressionable time.

Plus, Madge needs our love this week after that tumble at the Brits. 

5. Jackson Browne - The Pretender

At his best, Jackson Browne sounds like the great meeting between East & West... the Eagles meet Springsteen. Very classy song that uses up just about every rhyme you can imagine for the title word.

4. Foo Fighters - The Pretender

In which Dave Grohl takes on Benedict Cumberbatch in riot gear. I think. And then somebody opens the elevator doors from The Shining. (Watch the video.)

3. Beautiful South - Pretenders To The Throne

A great "lost" Beautiful South single, never featured on any of the band's studio albums, this sees Paul Heaton leaving your town because it's dragging him down... but where will he end up? A lot of famous cities are name-checked, along with a cheeky mention for Heaton's place of birth...

Is it Dublin with its culture and its wit?
Madrid with its market square?
Paris with its bustling cafes?
Or Hull with its musical flair?

That's almost as classy as when Jeff Lynne managed to crowbar his hometown (Birmingham's Shard End) into ELO's All Over The World...

London, Hamburg, Paris, Rome
Rio, Hong Kong, Tokyo,
LA, New York, Amsterdam,
Monte Carlo... Shard End

2. First Aid Kit - Master Pretender

From my favourite album of last year. More about that here, in case you missed it.

1. Freddie Mercury - The Great Pretender

It takes something to record a better version of any song than Roy Orbison did... but Freddie managed it. One of the first singles I remember buying, this is camper than a winter of discount tents and very possibly his finest non-Queen moment (although Bryan & Roger have tried to reclaim the performance under the Queen banner as part of their latest cobbled together cash cow). In many ways, it's one of the most honest performances of Fred's career... and he looks pretty damned cool without the moustache...




We're all great pretenders... can you pretend to be interested enough to leave a comment?

My Top Ten Pretend Songs

Let's pretend there's actually someone reading this blog. What's your favourite pretend song?  

(N.B. No "Pretender" songs allowed (no matter how great)... they'll get a separate list. I'm nothing if not thorough / anal.)


10. The Tindersticks - Let's Pretend

Lush.

9. The Bens - Just Pretend

When Ben Folds, Ben Kweller and Ben Lee teamed up... what else where they going to call themselves?

8. Elvis Presley - Just Pretend

There'll never be anyone quite like Elvis...

7. Eels - I'm Going To Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart

Classic Christmas Eve heartbreak. Not a Christmas song though, I promise.

6. Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits

How's that for a chat up line? Cheeky old Stephin Merritt.

5. Terrorvision - Pretend Best Friend

Ah yes, Bradford's finest. Always good to hear some Terrorvision again.

4. Cinerama - Let's Pretend

Having been dumped by (another) girlfriend, David Gedge sends her her stuff back in a box...

So here are your things
Starting with a pair of earrings
And I just bet
This is your Corrs cassette

Or is he just pretending he's not a closet Corrs fan himself?

3. MGMT - Time To Pretend

MGMT imagine being rock stars in a song inspired by their recently deceased preying mantis. You can't make it up, can you? Hilarious lyrics and the video is like some kind of Dali-esque nightmare.

We'll choke on our own vomit and the will be the end
We were fated to pretend

Neil Hannon and The Divine Comedy did a cool cover of this one too.

2. L7 - Pretend We're Dead

Famously the song that caused lead singer Donita Sparks to take her pants off while performing live on The Word back in 1992. Very exciting when I was 20. And it was a feminist statement, so it was OK for me to rewind the video...

1. R.E.M. - World Leader Pretend

Weird how the Top 3 bands are all abbreviations. (Let's pretend that's an interesting observation.)

From Orange, the album where R.E.M. were on the verge of world domination themselves. Seems so long ago now, doesn't it?





Let's pretend you're going to leave a comment...

My Top Ten Tongue Songs

 

Mind if I slip you the tongue... or ten?


10. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Black Tongue

 Karen O believes in gender equality when it comes to insults...

Boy, you just a stupid bitch,
And girl, you just a no good dick

Not to be confused with Black Tongue by Mastodon which makes Karen's lyrics sound like a Hallmark card... or Silver Tongue by Zulu Winter, who (like many bands) steal their best video ideas from David Lynch and the Coens.

9. Civil Wars - Tip Of My Tongue

Just delicious. Wish they hadn't split up.

8. Mary Gauthier - Slip of the Tongue

Mary regrets getting caught up in the moment and saying something she didn't quite mean...

When I said, "I love you"
It was a slip of the tongue
Love is more than a feeling
It's a way of living everyday
It's the hardest thing I ever gave away

7. PJ Harvey - This Wicked Tongue

So my favourite PJ Harvey album is now 15 years old. Where does the time go?

6. Frank Turner - Hold Your Tongue

Tender acoustic heartache from the rock-punk rebel, with a bitter aftertaste...

Hold your goddamn tongue
You forget yourself.
How could I be the one
If you're wrapped round someone else?

5. REM - Tongue

Don't remember this being released as a single - but Monster had so many great tracks. The rule with Michael Stipe lyrics is that I don't even try to tell you what they're about. Just go with the organtastic groove.

4. Jack White - Trash Tongue Talker

In which Jack White auditions for a guest spot on Jerry Springer. He can talk that trash with the best of them (and Karen O).

Oh well, your mama was a bastard
Had your plastered face all over the scene
You got hassled by your daddy
Always pushing, trying to make you come clean

Apparently the video was directed by Gary Oldman... but as it's a live performance, I guess he didn't have to do much more than show up and tell Jack to get on with it.

3. My Life Story - Sunday Tongue

One of the great lost bands of Britpop, and this was only a b-side, so I was extra pleased to find it on youtube. I wish Britpop was remembered more for bands in the literate/glam Pulp/Suede vein, like MLS, rather than the poshboy pretenders and northern neanderthals...    

2. Talking Heads - Sugar on My Tongue

David Byrne cops off with his neighbour and she performs various acts of a metaphorically culinary nature that get him so excited he asks his friends round to watch.

See also Speaking In Tongues by The Arcade Fire... also with David Byrne (though he doesn't get all that much to do.)

1. Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue

The divine Ms. Lewis finds herself faced with a sleazy chat-up line as this song begins - from a shoe repairman at that!

I went to a cobbler
To fix a hole in my shoe
He took one look at my face and said
"I can fix that hole in you."

Luckily, she's more than capable of dealing with this creepy cordwainer and goes on to deliver another classic story song about dropping acid in Dixie and meeting a man with soft hands (unlike, presumably, the cobbler) to soothe her pain.

To be lonely is a habit
Like smoking or taking drugs
And I've quit them both
But man, was it rough

So... which one makes you stick your tongue out like Gene Simmons?

My Top Ten Lean On Me Songs

Ten songs asking you to lean on me? Is that possible?

Turns out to be easier than it sounds. (I didn't even have to resort to Limp Bizkit.)

So lean on me... but not too hard. Remember my back!


10. Keith Richards - Eileen

Eileen... would you lean on me?

You see what Keef did there?

Yeah... man. That's, like, yeah...

Great guitar, though.

9. Dan Tyminski - The One You Lean On

The (singing) voice of George Clooney in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou, Dan Tyminski is anything but a man of constant sorrow.

8. J.J. Cale - Lean On Me

Smoooooooth...

7. David Bowie - Suffragette City

Don't lean on me man, 'cos you can't afford the ticket...

Would have placed higher in the list if it'd been more on target... but I could hardly ignore one of Bowie's best.

6. Harry Nilsson - Lean On Me

Harry Nilsson's 1977 album Knnillssonn was due to be his comeback. After rupturing his vocal chords during a wild night of drinking and debauchery with John Lennon a few years earlier, his voice had suffered on subsequent recordings. But it was back on top form by the time of Knnillssonn and his record company were up for promoting the heck out of it. Then an artist on the same label sadly passed away just as Knnillssonn was due to be released... and the promotional budget went on flogging Elvis Presley's back catalogue to the grieving masses.

Poor Harry: he never had much luck.

5. Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - Lean on Me, I Won't Fall Over

Smashing anti-suicide anthem from Jim Bob and Fruitbat...

I didn't want to be so dozy, darling
I should have promised you a rosy garden
And told you life is sweet, stick around and enjoy it
Flush that stupid nonsense down the toilet
And lean on me I won't fall over

4. Beth Orton & Terry Callier - Lean On Me

In the late 90s, Beth Orton recorded an EP with 70s soul/jazz legend Terry Callier, including this gorgeous take on Callier's own leaning composition. Their voices just go so well together.

3. Red Box - Lean On Me (ah-li-ayo)

Let me ask you a few questions...

Are we happy, are we scared?
Are we shouting never heard?
Are we running, running brave?
Are we fighting, making waves?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are you grew up in the 1980s. Red Box have now released three studio albums: one in 1986, one in 1990... and one in 2010 (which was a big hit in Poland). 

2. The Housemartins - Lean On Me

Everyone always goes on about how The Smiths threw away some of their greatest songs on b-sides (How Soon Is Now!!!) but Paul Heaton did the same with his original band, The Housemartins. I'd always assumed this was a cover version. Turns out when I read the sleeve notes that it is a Heaton original, written "on the spot as a filler" with Pete "18 With A Bullet" Wingield, and so good it ended up making its way onto their debut album. While it's not quite in the same league as today's winning tune, it's still an amazing recording. (And, as Martin said while commenting on my last post, we all need a little more Housemartins in our lives.)  

1. Bill Withers - Lean On Me

No prizes for guessing my Number One. A timeless soul classic originally released when I was one month old. Withers appears to have retired from music making in the late 80s, but I guess he still dines out on this song... and all its many, many successful cover versions.




Which one would you lean on?