I have a vivid memory of my first day at school. I know it rained all day and that I cried for most of it too. Perhaps that's my memory creating pathetic fallacy, making the weather suit my mood. Memories do that sometimes.
By contrast, Sam's first day at school was a crisp Autumn morning with a chilly nip in the air, yet he still discarded his coat and charged around the playground with his old nursery buddies while we waited for the bell that signalled the start of the next major phase of his life.
Things were very different when I was a kid. My mum was a housewife and I'd never been to nursery. She took me to "playschool" once and I sat on top of the climbing frame the whole time refusing to associate with anyone else until she took me home. I didn't learn to read or write or do sums until I went to school... hardly anyone did back then, beyond the basics.
Sam can already do so much more than I ever could at his age. And he's a hell of a lot more confident than I ever was. As the bell rang, he ran into the classroom ahead of his parents, not even looking back. He's already moving on and needs us less each day.
That's a tough thing for a parent to come to terms with. I never imagined I'd have a problem with it, but there's a part of me wants him to stay a little boy forever. A much bigger part wants him to grow and make his way in the world and become a man... but I still don't ever want to let him go.
Surprisingly, the mums who were dropping their kids off on Monday seemed far more pragmatic about all this than the dads. One father I know walked away as soon as his son was in the school, unable to make eye contact, shouting a curt "goodbye" without looking back. Me, I had a good cry on the way to work. When you imagine being a parent, you imagine the majority of the tears will come from your offspring. But in the end, I reckon you shed far more yourself as they grow up...
9.1 - Chuck Berry - School Days
In the early days of rock n roll, artists regularly recycled their own tunes (and each others') to create new ones. One of the greatest examples of that is Chuck Berry's School Days, which was later rewritten with new lyrics as No Particular Place To Go. Then again, with a tune this good, why not use it twice?
Yes, not as big a transition for them nowadays but for us as parents, it does mark the start of a new stage as a family.
ReplyDeleteThink mums are more pragmatic as they may well have carried out the lion's share of the childcare and led the isolated life of a housewife, so marks a bit of a new start for them too.
Hope it's going well and the tears have now abated.