The United Kingdom of Song #1: Huddersfield

Welcome to a new Friday feature in which I drive round the British Isles and find a song for every place I stop. It's a little bit like Alyson's American Road Trip series without all the fascinating research and anecdote. Also, where Alyson looks at America state by state, I'll be visiting towns and villages, often off the beaten track, and probably won't stop at any big cities. (That way, if Alyson ever wants to do an equivalent county by county trip around the UK, I won't have stolen her thunder.)

Anyway, I thought I'd begin in my own home town of Huddersfield. Its most famous musical connection is that the Sex Pistols played their last UK gigs here back in the punk era before that all fell apart for them. Famous Huddersfieldians include Sir Patrick Stewart and Jodie Whittaker (so both a Star Trek captain AND a Dr. Who come from my home town), plus James Mason and Harold Wilson. Apparently Roger Moore lived round her for a while (giving us a Bond too!) - and Bryan Adams' mum originated from the town, before deciding to seek a better life in Canada. Musically, the best we have to offer are Billy Currie from Ultravox and Visage, Roy Castle, Evile, and my favourite poet, Simon Armitage, who led short-lived, much-missed local band The Scaremongers.

Oh, and as I've previously written about, Morrissey had a spooky encounter here.

Songs that mention Huddersfield are very thin on the ground though. It's not a name that trips off the tongue or easily rhymes with anything, and most songwriters are a bit lazy that way. The only two references I could find are this...

Cabbage - Gibraltar Ape (they're from just over the Pennines in Tameside)

I wanna be free as a Gibraltar child
Drunk at fourteen on pints of mild
Ignoring preachers, in padded tiles
(Steel-toed caps that sink into the shins)

Instead I'll pass through Huddersfield
To muster out the change and courage I can yield
I'm young again, waiting out the backfield
(We're not spending any of your time) 

And this...

A "comedy" b-side written about the band's manager, Rod Smallwood, who left Huddersfield to live in L.A. No idea why. It appears he wasn't very happy there.

Life in a city living in L.A.

Is a long way from Huddersfield town

The back of the Rainbow's a long way from heaven

But that's where he get's his pork pie

Limos and ladies they're driving him queasy

Rugby and cricket's unknown

Baseball and football they're making him lazy

Your fan club says "Rodney come home"

As Iron Maiden songs go, this is pretty easy on the ears, but be warned: Rodney raps in the middle.

Yes, this song is in my record collection, and I've probably listened to it more than most other Iron Maiden songs I own. But its comedic appeal probably doesn't extend much beyond Castle Hill (as pictured above)…



Please let me know if you're aware of any other songs that mention Huddersfield.

Next Friday, I'll be driving 242 miles down the M1 to a small Buckinghamshire town to check out its Lost Property office.