Celebrity Jukebox #55: Robert Redford

Distophia - Robert Redford

"He's a regular Robert Redford..."

You've certainly made your mark on the world when your name becomes an idiom, synonymous with charm, charisma and roguish good looks. And when songwriters want a short-cut metaphor for all of the above... Robert Redford is an obvious name-drop.

You're just a Coca Cola cowboy

You got an Eastwood smile and a Robert Redford hair

But you walked across my heart like it was Texas

You taught me how to say I just don't care

Mel Tillis - Coca Cola Cowboy

I don't mean to criticize the girls at all

'Cause I'm no Robert Redford even overhauled

But we all picture in our minds a girl that looks just right

Now ain't it funny, ain't it strange the way a man's opinions change

When he starts to face that lonely night

Mickey Gilley - Don't The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time

I could get myself a nose job, I could diet for a year

But I'll never be Robert Redford 'cause I'm much to fond of beer

Please don't misunderstand me, it's not love I'm trying to buy

It's just I got all this here money and I'm a pretty ordinary guy

Dr. Hook - The Millionaire

Now Lord knows you ain't a saint, and Robert Redford you ain't

But you got a heart of gold through and through

And when it comes to lovin', that old, ooh, kissin' and a-huggin'

Ain't nobody else ever gonna do

Reba McEntyre - I Don't Need Nothin' You Ain't Got

That's all right but I wish they'd confuse me 

With somebody like Burt Reynolds or Robert Redford, 

All them guys that really look like me

Red Simpson - My Name Is Simpson

Jean-Paul Belmondo?

Alain Delon? No!

Clint Eastwood? J'ai dit no!

Paul Newman?

Robert Redford? J'ai dit no!

Sparks - Je M'Appelle Russell

Frank Sinatra and a Rolls Royce

A great set of wheels and a golden voice

Robert Redford is the shiniest star on the silver screen

And don't forget about Michelangelo and New York

The biggest apple and the greatest art

They're the very best I've ever seen

Charley Pride - The Best There Is

I get no pleasure when I'm going through the motions of my mediocre day-to-day

I'm just an actor, just like Robert fucking Redford

When I say those stupid words that they expect me to say

Everclear - Misery Whip

She likes me for me

Not because I look like Tyson Beckford

With the charm of Robert Redford

Oozing out my ears

But what she sees

Are my faults and indecisions

My insecure conditions

And the tears upon the pillow that I shed

Blessid Union of Souls - Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)

You think that love's

What's on that silver screen

Raquel and Redford are the tops

You've been misled

By all those movies you've seen

Al Jarreau - Love Is Real

I'm Redford, you're Newman on the take

You're a 7.6 earthquake

The Donkeys - Don't Know Who We Are

None of those really compare with the greatest ever lyrical reference to Bobby Redford, courtesy of... Lee Majors?!?

I might fall from a tall building

I might roll a brand-new car

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman

That made Redford such a star

Strangely though, that wasn't the first song which popped into my mind when I heard about the passing of Robert Redford. Although some might argue this is more of a Paul Newman song... still, for me it marks a sunset for Sundance...

Bertie Fridays #4: What The World Needs Now...

Time for Bertie the dog to pick another of his favourite music Berts... or Burts in the case of this week's star.

I'm sure I can't tell you anything about Burt Bacharach that you don't already know, although I can confirm that he's NOT related to one of my favourite actors of recent years, Ebon Moss-Bacharach of The Bear (soon to play The Thing in the new Fantastic Four movie).

I think we'll just let the music speak for itself today...

Jackie DeShannon - What the World Needs Now (Is Love)

Herb Alpert - This Guy's In Love With You

Perry Como - Magic Moments 

Shirelles - Baby It's You

Walker Brothers - Make It Easy On Yourself

Dusty Springfield - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Gene Pitney - Twenty Four Hours from Tulsa

Isaac Hayes - Walk On By

Dionne Warwick - Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

The Carpenters - (They Long To Be) Close To You

Love - My Little Red Book

Tom Jones - What's New, Pussycat?

Aretha Franklin - I Say A Little Prayer

Neil Diamond - Heartlight

BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Christopher Cross - Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)

Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald - On My Own

Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach - Toledo

The majority of those were written with lyricist Hal David, of course. But he's not a Bertie. Or even a Burty.

If I was forced at gunpoint to choose a favourite recording of a Bacharach composition, it would be this one, which I bought as a 7" single in 1990. I was convinced it made Number One, but clearly I needed to buy a couple more copies, because it was held off the top spot by Timmy Mallet. Oh, the inDignity*!

*I'm particularly proud of that pun. Little things please little minds.

Next week... "For the money, for the glory, and for the fun. Mostly for the money."

Snapshots #243: A Top Ten Vietnam Songs

Many, many songs were written about the Vietnam war. Here are ten of the best...

10. Tough clue, starring Nathan Fillion.

Nathan Fillion was the star of the TV show Castle. Which you might have found a little hard.

Paul Hardcastle - 19 

9. Looks like tiny blokes.

Minutemen refers to the unit of time, but it could also mean they were really small.

Minutemen - Viet Nam

8. A riddle, found in Dover.

A Jimmy Riddle, found among the white cliffs.

Jimmy Cliff - Vietnam

7. Always had wet hair.

Because raindrops keep falling on his head.

BJ Thomas - Vietnam

6. Barbie & Ken do Manhattan.

The New York Dolls - Vietnamese Baby

5. An Innocent Baby.

Grows up to become An Innocent Man.

Billy Joel - Goodnight Saigon

4. Goes well with a sledge hammer or an ice pick. 

Cold Chisel - Khe Sahn

That's a great tune.

3. Elton & Bruce prepare for fishing.

Elton John & Bruce Lee get their hooks ready.

John Lee Hooker - I Don't Wanna Go To Vietnam

2. How do you know when a duck is getting old?

It's bill withers, of course.

Bill Withers - I Can't Write Left-Handed

1. He's representing cubs.

"Representing cubs" is another beaut from God's Gift To Anagrams...

Bruce Springsteen - Born In The USA

This Is The End, beautiful friends. But there will be more next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #47 - The Answers

If you Don't Like Mondays and often find yourself wondering whether the Russians love their children too, here's the perfect post for you. The Sunday answers to Saturday Snapshots come around Like Clockwork and will leave you feeling like an Englishman in New York... probably.

Good team-work yesterday, folks. I think Lynchie just clinched the win, but Chris, C, Rigid Digit, Alyson all worked well together to solve the rest.


10. Your adversary will never leave home.

No explanation needed for this one...

The Enemy - We'll Live & Die In These Towns

9. No charge for the daughter of Robbie's brother.

The daughter of Robbie's brother would be de Niece of Williams.

Deniece Williams - Free

8. Roger's other half doesn't like to drive.

Roger's other half would be Wilco. Do you copy?

Wilco - Passenger Side

7. 5-4-3-2-1: Fire your inspiration!

If you fired your inspiration, you might be throwing your muse.

Throwing Muses - Counting Backwards

6. Both jams bewilder a depressed weatherman.

Both jams is an anagram.

A depressed weatherman would feel like it was raining on him all the time.

B.J. Thomas - Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head

5. Stanley's doctor will stay home this evening. Again.

Stanley Kubrick's doctor was Strangelove.

Strangelove - Another Night In

4. Where polite cows graze in the spring. Keep climbing!

Curtis means courteous or polite.

Spring cows would graze in a Mayfield.

Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up

3. Southern belles won't reach the south of France yet.

Southern belles (in the States) would be Dixie Chicks.

Nice is in the south of France.

Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

2. Helps the medicine go down on hot days in London.

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Lovin' Spoonful - Summer In The City

1. Lightning makes a move on Mater's lady.

If you've never seen Disney's Cars trilogy, you wouldn't have stood much of a chance with this clue. I, however, have watched Disney's Cars trilogy more than any other film in the last five years... not entirely through choice.



Put on your bright suit Billy, and head for the right side of town next Saturday morning when I'll be Spreading A Little Happiness once again...

(Note to self: don't use a picture with two big stars in it again.)