Kylie Minogue featured in Saturday's quiz with the obvious selection of Kylie's Got A Crush On Us by BMX Bandits. I've probably confessed before to the fact that I bought Kylie's debut single back in 1988 even though I knew it wasn't very good. I was 16, Neighbours was on the TV every night when I got home from school, and Kylie was cool... even despite the insipid Stock Aitken Waterman production. I still think she's cool now - and should be praised for her longevity (Christmas Number One last year!).
Anyway, BMX Bandits wasn't my only choice for songs honouring Ms. Minogue. I could also have gone with this...
Another female pop diva whose records I obsessed over as a teen was Whitney. I'd still rate her second album as a pure pop classic. Then again, I've always been pretty insecure about voicing such things...
Janet Jackson, meanwhile, may be tainted by her brother's reputation... and that "shocking" incident at the Superbowl which got her cancelled for a time, while Justin Timberlake's reputation only soared. Sexist hypocrisy?
But it's back to the pop stars of our youth to close... and here's another lady who's it always been OK to admit to liking. My cool points remain intact.
This is the actor Max Frewer, better known for playing the supposedly computer-generated TV presenter, Max Headroom. What a wonderful world it was when computer generated characters were actually played by real human beings... rather than the other way round. Sigh. Old man needs a lie down.
Here are some songs about different parts of the head and face...
Yes, it’s time to let in light and banish shade as the
Cancel Culture Club celebrates Christmas in the best way possible… by giving
Bono a kicking.
Now, yes, I know Bono wasn’t the instigator of Band Aid –
that was Bob and Midge. But I’ve got nothing particularly against Bob or Midge, so I’m going
to credit them with all the good things that can be said about Do They Know
It’s Christmas? while I happily let Bono take the flack for everything else. In doing so, I
hope to set the record straight / rewrite history in staggeringly Trumpian
fashion, because in our world of plenty, I like to spread a smile of joy at
Christmastime.
But it’s not all about me, me, me, is it, Bono? There were
other people in Band Aid, you know. Just as there are other people in the
Cancel Culture Club Committee. So let’s hear from them…
Surely we shouldn’t cancel Band Aid? Let’s start by asking
C, shall we? She can usually find the best in everybody…
'Do They Know It's Christmas?' Oh gawd.For me, it's not so much what's wrong with
it, but what could possibly even be right with it?I can't find a single thing for the latter.Oh, I suppose it had good intentions, but
Christ (sorry, and on your birthday too, Mr Jesus) what a tasteless,
patronising, mawkish, embarrassing, dumbed-down, nauseating load of absolute
drivel of a way to... to "raise awareness"?On the above grounds, I would most definitely
consign it to the landfill of eternal doom along with all the non-biodegradable
crap festive debris, never to be played again.
“The landfill of eternal doom”… ah, C, poetic even in opprobrium.
What about the wonderful John Medd? Surely he’s got
something nice to say?
Do they know...?
A very tired song now. Geldof has consented to so many
lyrical changes over the years that it barely represents the original. Put it
out to pasture; it's done its job now. It's a crying shame the musical
cognoscenti didn't wrap their arms around Gaza with such gusto.
Ooh: little bit of politics. When I first read John’s
comment, I thought he was suggesting a charity record in aid of Paul Gascoigne,
such is my ignorance of world affairs, and I did wonder what poor old Gazza was
crying about now.
Do They Know It's Christmas? is an interesting one. I know
we're not allowed to cancel on the grounds of quality or personal preference…
Actually, I think this series has categorically proven that
it’s impossible to make a decision on cancellation without being biased by
personal preference. And maybe that’s why it’s time to bring it to an end,
worthy experiment though it was. There’s enough negativity out there, and I
always wanted this blog to be a place to celebrate good music, not slag off the
things I don’t like (Bono excepted, of course). Oh, sorry, Martin… I
interrupted you mid-sentence…
…but for clarity let's start by binning all the anniversary
re-treads since, to which the law of diminishing returns most certainly
applies. I'm looking at you, Band Aid 20 and Band Aid 30. They're gone because
they're crap and no-one cares about them.
OK, let’s take a pause to consider this. I have to admit,
until Martin brought them to my attention, I was blissfully unaware of every
Band Aid sequel apart from this one…
Now back in 1989, I had no time for it at all. I mean, it
was produced by Stock, Aitken & Waterman, for god’s sake. So that explains
why Kylie, Jason and Sonia (!) were up front. And Cliff’s on there, of course.
And Marti Pellow’s huge, shit-eating Joker-grin. And bloody Bros! With star
names like Glen Goldsmith, Big Fun, D Mob and and the jam-pumping Technotronic (incorrectly listed
as "Technotronics" on the record sleeve). A gleeful reminder of why
the late 80s really was the nadir of pop music.
But wait, looking back now, I also feel a twinge of
nostalgia in the same way my Mum’s generation might get dewy-eyed about air
raid sirens and gas masks. Look – there’s Jimmy Sommerville. Lisa Stansfield.
Bananarama! Maybe 1989 wasn’t so bad after all… at least there’s no Bono. That
in itself should surely grant Band Aid II a stay of execution. Especially when
compared to…
Looking at the list of contributors, I figured I might like this
a lot more than I did. Apparently Neil Hannon’s on there (somewhere?) and Thom
Yorke’s playing the piano. But you wouldn’t notice, because all I got from the
video was Chris Martin, Dido, Robbie Williams and that bloke from Keane who
looks like a young David Cameron. I quite enjoyed Dizzee Rascal’s bit, but the
true horror was reserved for… the return of Bono. Just when you thought it was
safe to go back in the water, etc. Oh, and there’s a really cringey bit where a
haggard (not faggot - see previous edition) Saint Bob makes all the early noughties pop sensations stand around in
the studio watching old Ethiopian snuff movies with a tear in their eye,
presumably just before Damon Albarn brings them a nice cuppa. (I credit Damon
with that because iffypedia has him down as ‘Tea Boy’ – but that could well be
someone taking the piss.)
We will get back to Martin’s thoughts in a moment, but as he
started me down this particular rabbit hole...
Strangely I feel more ignorant about the pop music of 10
years ago than I do about the pop music of today. Thanks to Sam, I am at least
aware of the bigger names in pop right now (and some of them I’ve even taken a
shine to), but One Direction, Rita Ora and Olly Murs are names I recognise without
any context at all. That’s not to say there aren’t people in this mob who get
royally on my tits – Ed Sheeran for one, and Sam “nicked a Tom Petty tune for
my biggest hit and then tried to deny it” Smith for another. Guy Garvey
delivers his line with customary style though. (But… you see… this is where the
“personal preference” thing starts to bog us down.) I’m not quite sure how Seal
and Sinéad ended up with this lot – presumably they were just walking past the
studio and Bono dragged them in. Yes, the Irish Pope’s here again, although he
changes his infamous line on this version…
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight we’re reaching out and touching you
Oh my God, that's even worse. The idea of Bono reaching out and touching me... I feel like I need to bathe in Domestos for a week.
Last year was the 40th anniversary of Band Aid,
but thankfully we were spared another retread… although looking at the biggest
names in British pop at this moment (according to the interweb), I’m pretty
sure we’d just have been made to endure Ed Sheeran* and Coldplay again… perhaps
with added Dua Lipa and Olivia Dean. Maybe Adele, if she wasn’t too busy in
Vegas. Instead, we got this…
…in which they dug up dragged Trevor Horn out of
retirement to mix an “Ultimate Version” of the perennial “Christmas favourite”
which featured the “best bits” of all the Band Aids (but nothing from Band Aid
II – make of that what you will), including a truly horrific moment when all
three Bonos are singing together (original lyrics!) like some multiversal
nightmare. To be fair to him, looking at all three Bonos together like that…
why, he hasn’t changed a bit in 40 years. Yes, he’s still a c___.
*Interesting interjection regarding Ed Sheeran – apparently
he wasn’t happy about his vocals being re-used on the 2014 version because, “a
decade on, my understanding of the narrative associated with this has changed”.
Sheeran cited Ghanaian-English songwriter Fuse ODG as being the one who changed
his mind. Fuse had already turned down the opportunity to take part in the 2004
version because:
"…I recognised the harm initiatives like it inflict on
Africa. While they may generate sympathy and donations, they perpetuate
damaging stereotypes that stifle Africa's economic growth, tourism, and
investment, ultimately costing the continent trillions and destroying its
dignity, pride and identity."
See, I didn’t want this post to be purely about making fun
of Bono. There had to be some serious opinions in here too. That said, I won’t
waste your time with any of the other versions…
LadBaby – Do They Kn… no, I can’t even bring myself to link
to that one
…because I’ve already interrupted Martin far too much today.
Please, Martin, continue. The floor is yours…
So we're just considering the original source material,
Saint Bob et al's 1984 worthiness. Why might it be problematic? I guess there's
more than a touch of white saviour complex to a repeated desire to feed the
world, and in the 40+ years since, numerous African politicos have voiced the
opinion that other sentiments ("It's a world of dread and fear" and
"Where nothing ever grows") have been frankly unhelpful in
characterising a continent. Earlier this month, even Saint Bob declared that he
was both bored and done with Band Aid.
I did go read that interview, for research, and I’m not sure
he quite meant it in the way it was presented in the press. “…I get bored so
easily. In this case that’s mitigated by the effect Band Aid’s still having –
it’s keeping millions of people going – and by the rage I feel when I see
injustice. But, being very honest, often this shit bores me.” Hardly sounds
like he’s washing his hands of it completely.
So it seems like a good time to nix the song, right? But,
but, but... it can't be cancelled. Quite apart from the step change it made in
how people and their entertainers responded to charity, it's a Christmas single
that is every bit as engrained as Slade, Wizzard and Wham. This song is a part
of our generation's Christmas, as much as tinsel and pigs in blankets. And it's
a snapshot of our youth - we can all still remember who sang which lines, can't
we? Most importantly though, it's a song that did, and continues to do, more
good than any subsequent perceived harm - its ledger is very much in the black,
ironic though that might be for a bunch of white saviours....
Ah, well, that’s more like it. I always like to see a
diversity of opinion from the Committee members, and Martin is the first to
find anything really good to say about Band Aid.
But guess who’s coming along to back him up? Only our correspondent
from a land where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow… Take it away,
George!
Band Aid: I lived through that period of the initial release
of the song as a young and immature adult, sneering at the mundane music and
has-been pop stars, and I suspect many of your readers adopted a similar pose.
But for a single record to raise so much money, and help publicise such an
appalling situation is quite remarkable, and to complain about the well-meant
lyric is beyond churlishness. So I am firmly against cancelling.
To follow George, how about someone who rarely comes down on
the same side of the fence as him? Ernie? Are you ready to throw your arms
around George the world this Christmastime?
Band Aid - as long as all the money raised is still going to
good causes, I can put up with the patronising drivel (and even B*n*) because
we are the ones who make a brighter day.
You do know that’s a lyric from We Are The World, don’t you,
Ernie? I mean, don’t even start us on that one…
Going back to Saint Bob (who also co-wrote the above
“classic”), he did apparently admit to an Australian newspaper that he was
"responsible for two of the worst songs in history"… so fair play to
him for that at least.
What about Charity Chic? Surely he’ll be supportive of a
charidee record? I mean, it’s in his name!
Band Aid?
Patronising and pandered to a large number of egos…
But it did raise millions for starving children, therefore
it should not be banned even if a number of celebs got a freebie visit to
Africa with loads of free publicity.
I’m sure there was an old joke about sending Bono to Africa
– weren’t those people suffering enough? Well tonight, thank God it’s them
instead of YOU. Yada yada yada.
Over to Germany now, where I’m presuming Band Aid was also a
hit (iffypedia doesn’t have the full details, other than to say it was their 17th
best-selling single of 1985)… and in 2014, there was even a
German version, led by the lead singer of Die Toten Hosen…
No Bono in that, so it’s already a step up. Anyway, here’s
Walter…
I must admit that I didn't like the song at the time. It was
too melodramatic for my taste. Especially when I watched the video, in which
every singer tries to pour their deepest feelings into the song (except for
Phil Collins, who does what he does best in the video—play the drums).
Ultimately, this song is about a fundraising appeal, as has been organized
every Christmas season for decades. It is well known that this time, the
trigger was a BBC documentary, which, to my knowledge, was the first to report on
the famine in Ethiopia that claimed the lives of almost half a million people.
So far, so good. Civil war and famine are a thing of the past, and Ethiopia has
become one of the most prosperous countries in Africa.
I did have to fact check that one, Walter. Not to contradict
you, but just for my own knowledge. According to The World Bank…
With about 132.1 million people (2024), Ethiopia is the
second most populous nation in Africa after Nigeria, and one of the
fastest-growing economies in the region, with an estimated 8.1% growth in
FY2023/24. However, it also remains one of the poorest, with a per capita gross
national income of $1,020.
I guess they’re doing better than they were, at least.
When activists now come along and associate this song with
colonialism and white arrogance that has no respect for African culture, I no
longer understand the world. Obviously, you can find something negative and
reprehensible in every good thought and intention.
I’m afraid that’s the world outside our window, Walter –it’s
a world of dread and fear.
Now here’s another clanging chime of doom, straight from
Glasgow to our hearts, it’s the Vinyl Villain himself. Band Aid, JC?
With a very small number of exceptions such as Christmas
Bubblegum Machine by the Sultans of Ping (which gets a pass cos it mentions
Glasgow in the lyrics),I don’t have any
time for any sort of novelty records, be they festive themed, comedy related or
released with the aim of raising funds for one cause or another.Band Aid ticks all three boxes – the middle
one as the lyrics are unintentionally funny while I’ll never stop laughing at
the bit in the video where Bono goes all sanctimonious on us.
I’m jealous that you can still laugh.
I’m therefore not going to waste too much time and energy on
this one.I hate the song and could
easily live without hearing it again while I’m out chasing last minute presents
(which I’ll continue to do as I hate Amazon even more than festive themed
records).
Personally, I hate real shops even more than online
conglomerates. Jeff Bezos wins by pandering to my misanthropy. Which brings us
back to The Manchester Grinch, Swiss Adam. I’ve a feeling he won’t have
anything nice to say about Band Aid either…
Band Aid - a meritless dirge with more plain stupid lines
than most songs have - 'tonight thank God it’s them instead of you', for one,
not to mention asking a mainly Muslim country if they know it’s Christmas at
all. It's just fucking rubbish. I know, charity etc. Still rubbish.
I watched the documentary about the making of it, and it was
entertaining, enlightening even. But it doesn't justify this dreadful song.
Cancel it.
Was Bono in the documentary? (Silly question, I know.) If
someone can edit a version without him in it, I’ll give it a watch.
Which brings us to our final contributor today, SWC from NoBadger Required. And in the interest of equity, I thought it only fair to ask the opinion of a life-long fan of the band U2 and its deific lead singer…
Cancel Band Aid!
This is my third attempt at writing this, the first turned
into a 1000 word rant against Bono and whilst that is never necessarily a bad
thing, most of those 1000 words were me just calling him a gobshite.The second one, was really quite similar, but
with less use of the word gobshite and more use of the word “trumpet”.
OK, I lied. (And yes, I did ask SWC to supply me with his
original drafts, purely for my own enjoyment, but he didn’t comply.) Carry on,
SWC…
Anyway, we should definitely cancel ‘Band Aid’.A song which meant to do good (and probably
did some good) but one that took a heavy dose of salt and rubbed it casually
into the wounds of about two million starving people (or however many people it
was).
I mean, we could just take a look at those involved to know:
a who’s who of the great and good of 80s music who (possibly, allegedly) could
have solved a large amount of the poverty and famine by donating half of what
they all spent on cocaine and that would tell us everything.
But to be fair, we only have to look at the lyrics and then
we realise that the blame for this falls in the hands of Midge Ure and Sir Bob
of Geldof.
Example One:
Where the only water flowing, Is the bitter sting of tears – Sung by Tony Hadley and Sting.
Seriously… I mean what the actually fuck?I get that people are starving I can see
that, I too want to push that fly away from the eyes of that child, but enough
with the emotional blackmail guys.It
gets worse, because here comes Bono...
And the Christmas bells that ring, There are the clanging chimes of doom – Sung by Sting and Bono
The clanging chimes of doom.Well, thanks for that.There are
children dying out there and it’s a humanitarian disaster and we get the point,
Midge, we really do, but the clanging chimes of doom?Really?Actually, I’m not sure even the added presence of Bono can make this any
worse…
Well, tonight thank God it's them, instead of you
Oh.He can.
Just remember, SWC, if you don't like that line, you can always substitute it for the one where Bono reaches out and touches you...
Let’s just dissect that line shall we – well,
tonight, thank, God, its, them, instead, of, you.It’s the ‘them’ that rankles here.I mean serious, Bono, was there not at least
one point when you were in the studio eating canapes with Paul Young when you
didn’t turn around and look at Bob and say “Bob, that line about ‘them’, you
sure about that..?”
Do you know what, SWC…? Loathe as I am to do this, I’m going
to jump in here in Bono’s "defence".
What!?
I know, I know. But in the course of compiling this post,
I’ve read a lot of articles about this song, and I found a couple of different
sources where… erm… it appears Bono claims he didn’t like the lyrics himself.
I’m going to quote from his bestselling book Surrender: 40
Songs One Story, which of course I bought in hardback as soon as it came out. I
mean, I didn’t just dig up the quote from American
Songwriter…
“I had to sing the most troubling line of the whole tune,
‘Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you’. When Bob handed me the lyric, I
said, ‘I’ll sing any line but this one.’ Maybe it’s that thought that got me
here.”
“I told him I didn’t want to sing the line. He said, ‘This
is not about what you want, OK? This is about what these people need.’ I was
too young to say, ‘This is about what you want.’ But it was his show,
and I was happy to be in it. I knew it needed some force, the line. I kind of
did an impersonation of Bruce Springsteen, that was really what was in my
mind.”
Now the cynic in me wants to think that writing this in
2021, Bono was trying to seize control of the narrative after years of
criticism – to shift the blame back onto Bob and away from his exalted self.
Shall we give him the benefit of the doubt? I mean, it is
Christmas… and as to Bob and Midge, the two men in charge of the song’s lyrical
content? Well, we’ve already heard from the one who wants you to give them your
fooking money… so how about a word from the small biting insect?
“The song didn’t matter: the song was secondary, almost
irrelevant.”
That’s from Jim Ure’s autobiography, which has pride of
place on my bookshelf beside 40 Songs.
Back to SWC for one final word…
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time. The greatest gift they'll get this year is life - sung by various people
Now, apart from being geographically stupid, what with
Ethiopia being pretty close to the Equator and there being virtually zero
chance of there ever being snow in Africa at Christmas Time, it’s the second
bit “The Greatest Gift they’ll get this year is life”, that irritates me the
most.I might be wrong, but I’m fairly
sure that if you sat down the parents of a starving child and put two things in
front of them – on the left a new video player and hi-fi stacking system and on
the right – well survival from war, poverty, famine, or generally speaking
‘life’.I’m relatively confident that if
they really thought about it, they would, as Wham, once told via a T-shirt:Choose Life.
I think that’s a pretty good note to end this festive edition on... maybe even a good note to end the series on? I don't know. Let's wait till the New Year and see if I still feel the urge to torpedo any more dodgy old songs... stand by your inboxes just in case.
I thought I’d end with a positive note about
Do They Know It’s Christmas? Here’s why I wouldn’t want to see it cancelled: if
it was, I’d never get to listen to the Richard Cheese version again. And
Christmas would be so much poorer without that…
You've certainly made your mark on the world when your name becomes an idiom, synonymous with charm, charisma and roguish good looks. And when songwriters want a short-cut metaphor for all of the above... Robert Redford is an obvious name-drop.
You're just a Coca Cola cowboy
You got an Eastwood smile and a Robert Redford hair
None of those really compare with the greatest ever lyrical reference to Bobby Redford, courtesy of... Lee Majors?!?
I might fall from a tall building
I might roll a brand-new car
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman
That made Redford such a star
Strangely though, that wasn't the first song which popped into my mind when I heard about the passing of Robert Redford. Although some might argue this is more of a Paul Newman song... still, for me it marks a sunset for Sundance...
You can't have failed to miss the latest desperate plea for attention from the deluded mind of the once great SPM, entitled A SOUL FOR SALE. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Rol: I'm waiting for Morrissey's reply to my offer. £5.54 and a vegan pastie. Reckon I'm in with a shout.
Ben: I considered throwing a quid at him.
Ben: And a boiled egg sandwich.
Rol: Does a boiled egg sandwich trump a vegan pastie? Damn you for using your insider knowledge!
Ben: That's what they had to eat with him, wasn't it? I think I read an article a few years ago that he made them all eat only boiled egg sandwiches when they were touring the early years in the van. I think it was an interview with Rourke.And he was saying it smelt worse eating the sandwiches than the farts it would make them do.
The 'eaves' business email address has been switched off due to the colossal response to Morrissey's announcement of his wish to pass his "Smiths" interests over to an investor. Although Morrisseys' love for the songs of the Smiths era will never waver, he is tired of the disagreeable and vexatious characters involved in "The Smiths" business. After thirty-eight years of insults and abuse, Morrissey has had enough. All (or most) of the 'eaves' emails will be answered in time.
That's good. I await my reply.
In all seriousness though... those songs are priceless. Such a pity that the one man most desperate to tarnish their memory is their co-creator.
Often, when I'm forced to discuss this subject, I end up quoting the lyrics to Rubber Ring...
The passing of time and all of its crimes
Is making me sad again
The passing of time and all of its sickening crimes
Is making me sad again
But don't forget the songs that made you cry
And the songs that saved your life
Yes, you're older now and you're a clever swine
But they were the only ones who ever stood by you
Today though, this one seems far more appropriate...
Madness in (formerly) great ones must no unwatched go.
There was only one song I could close with today - the one that makes me ponder the biggest questions of all, such as, "Well, how did I get here?", "Am I right, am I wrong?", "My God, what have I done?" and most importantly of all... why is there water at the bottom of the ocean?
Jim from Dubai has been a regular visitor to this blog for some years now. I've always welcomed his comments, and the fact that he boosted my international readership beyond Portugal and the USA. Recently, Jim was one of a few people who helped me track down a copy of the song Obvious by Dean Owens' band Smile for the biggest edition of Namesakes to date. As part of our ensuing conversation, I asked him if he fancied a guest post, wondering if he might tell us a little more about the life of British music fan in Dubai. Well, Jim delivered, and I'm privileged to offer his guest post below, along with a selection of tunes of his choice...
Checking in on blogs like yours, The Vinyl Villain, and another few have kept me interested in music during my time in Dubai.
Before I moved here I grew up in Glasgow and used to go to regular gigs and was always listening to and buying music, but since I moved here in 2000, you can probably guess, the music scene here is very poor.
To be honest, I was always a bit of a homeboy, I loved Glasgow and the music scene back in the late 90s / early 2000s and it never crossed my mind I would work in another country. Then right out the blue one of my colleagues who I had worked with who had moved to Dubai with the same company called me to ask if I fancied a move to Dubai. Back then Dubai was not the metropolis it is now, I had hardly heard of it. I was single at the time and spoke to my family and friends and everyone said to me I may regret it in the future if I didn't take this chance so I gave it a go and almost 24 years later I am still here. I am now 30 years with the company, a large US communications company who supply cables and communications products for data centres and stuff like that.
One of my reservations for leaving to come to Dubai was I would miss the music scene, hearing music, and buying records. Remember, back then there wasn't YouTube, streaming or accessible music to listen to, so I knew I was giving that up.
Unfortunately, the music scene in Dubai at the moment is pretty poor. There are no regular decent music nights and not really any bars that play good music (well, music that I like anyway). There are some really great bars and there are new bars opening nearly every week, however most of them play a similar type of music which is generally bland dance / DJ type music, R&B, Hip Hop. Many will have bands that play regular overplayed rock music... also the cost of a beer is generally between £10-£13!!
During the 24 years I have been here, there have been some great music nights and I have met some folks who have a similar taste in music so there are some of us here.
When I first arrived in Dubai, I didn't really know anyone and I was staying in a hotel for the first few weeks. I was not one for going out to a bar by myself but when you are in a new country and it is the weekend you either stay in or you make the effort and go out for a few beers. Luckily, the first year or so I was here, there was a pop music quiz in one of the bars and one thing I love is a music quiz.
I went by myself and stood at the bar. There were a lot of teams, mainly British folks, but even though I missed the first round as I got delayed and arrived a bit late, I still won the quiz. I went back again the next week, again stood at the bar by myself and again won the quiz. When I went back the third week, a couple of lads came up and spoke to me, British lads who liked their music, and I ended up joining their team. One of the lads, Steve, is still my best mate in Dubai and another real music obsessive. He is still in Dubai. We have been to many gigs here over the years and we still burn CDs to each other with whatever music we have been listening to. I remember one time, we were all up at Steve's house before going into town, and he played this. I had never heard of The Strokes at this time, but I loved this song and it started my love of all things Strokes.
Myself, Steve and another lad, Calum, liked our quizzes and our music, we quickly found that we all had a love of The Associates and the song Party Fears Two, so when we went to other quizzes as the 3 of us, our quiz team name became Party Fears 3, and 24 years later I still use that name for any quiz nights we go to. If there are 4 of us, we are Party Fears 4; 5, Party Fears 5, etc. Everyone here just knows us as Party Fears, but almost no ones knows the meaning of it.
The first big music night here that really appealed to me was an Indie night that ran for about 5 years from about 2003 to 2008. It was called Twisted Melons and was the last Friday of the month. It started with about a dozen people, but once it got running there were normally over 100 people there. Great night, great music, as you can probably guess, the likes of Happy Mondays, Stone Roses, New Order and the like, but the for first hour or so they played some unusual stuff we had not heard of, so this was also a good way for me to hear some decent new music.
My favourite memory of Twisted Melons is Young Folk by Peter, Bjorn and John. I remember hearing this for the first time there and loving it. I spoke to the DJ to ask what it was and I have loved it ever since.
As Dubai is such a transient city, people come and go with their jobs and unfortunately the DJs left Dubai and Twisted Melons finished.
A few years later, in one of the small pubs in the old part of the city, one of my friends started a Northern Soul night which was great. A small pub venue with around 50 odd people all generally British folks between 40 to 60 who loved the music. I admit I was not the biggest Northern Soul fan, my wife Jude had a lot of old Kent label albums on vinyl and loved this music. I got to like it more over the years. The one song that gets me immediately on to the dance floor would be The Night by Frankie Valli.
A bit of talcum powder on the floor and everyone having a wee boogie, great while it lasted, but again the DJ moved on and that night stopped.
There was a band we used to go and watch who played one of the pubs once a month. They were called The 1990s. They played mainly Brit Poppy type music, Oasis, Kings of Leon, Kaiser Chiefs, also things like the The Kinks, Stones, the Jam and stuff. This was always a great night but due to Covid, many of the lads lost their jobs or moved on, so again it finished.
Over the past year, the Dubai Vespa and Lambretta Club have had some good music related brunches, normally on a Saturday afternoon from 12.30pm till around 5-6pm. It starts off with Northern Soul but soon moves onto late 70's / early 80's stuff like The Jam, Specials, Clash, Madness, Bad Manners and the likes, which gets the place going, then moves onto Indie / Brit pop with the likes of Oasis, Blur, Pulp, Primal Scream and stuff. Unfortunately, there were only three of these days in the past year, they really need to have more of these days / nights. There's one song that gets everyone on the dancefloor once we're all suitably lubricated...
There have been a quite a few bands who have played here over the years but these are mainly older acts such as:
The Stranglers (without Hugh Cornwell), then Hugh Cornwell playing solo, so we have seen the Original Stranglers line up just not on the same night or stage.
The Human League, a few times.
Madness
Bryan Ferry
The Wonderstuff
Simple Minds, a few times.
Billy Ocean
James
The Stone Roses
Suede
The Lightning Seeds
Neil Finn (doing a mixture of Crowded House and Split Enz)
80's Rewind Festivals (with the likes of ABC, Midge Ure, From The Jam, Nick Heyward, Marc Almond, Tony Hadley, Altered Images)
Ska Night (Neville Staples doing The Specials stuff, Pauline Black doing The Selector stuff and Ranking Roger doing The Beat). Jude got her photo taken with Ranking Roger. She was really heartbroken when he passed away a few years ago.
About 10 years ago they also had a mini Indie type festival called Sound City. It was over three days and we had the likes of Happy Mondays, The Farm, The Doves, Human League, Super Furry Animals and many more.
Here in Dubai, we end up going to see bands or artists we may not have gone to see in the UK as we don't get many decent people coming here so we end up going with friends to see anyone half decent.
I met my wife Jude here in Dubai, she is from Birmingham and loves music, she grew up on a diet of Ska and the likes of The Specials, The Beat etc. back in the late 70's early 80's.
Dubai is a tough city to meet someone as it is such a transient city, around 85% of the population is expatriate and most people tend to be here for a short period of time, job permitting, so I was very lucky to meet Jude and especially as she is a big music fan too.
We got married in 2015 in the UK and went to the Indietracks festival near Derby for our honeymoon (before going to Italy), with my mate Steve and his wife Kat from Dubai, he was my best man. We went to Indietracks twice - the first time, two of my favourite Indie Pop bands, Helen Love and BIS, were playing so that was the main reason we went.
I was speaking to one of the guys on the stalls selling records and told him we came from Dubai specially to see Helen Love and BIS and he arranged for me to meet Sheena from Helen Love before they went onto the stage. She was very nice, very nervous and it was great to have a chat with her. They put on an amazing show, was one of the highlights of the weekend.
We have also been to a few places on our travels to see some bands:
Budapest, to see Placebo. Jude is a big Placebo fan, so when I saw they were touring Europe and specifically Budapest on her birthday, we went for a few days. Budapest is a great city and the Placebo gig was great. This was the highlight...
Hamburg, to see Sparks. I have always loved Sparks, the fact that Ron and Russell are still releasing albums and touring well into their 70s is incredible, I have every Sparks studio album, well over 20 of them, some hit and miss but overall a great body of work.
The thing we loved about this gig was the venue which was Mojo's.
We knew the venue was at the top of the Reeperbahn, so we went to check it out on the day we arrived, just so we knew where it was. Using Google maps, we were standing exactly where the venue should have been, but we couldn't see any sign of it. After a while we noticed what looked like a huge drain on the pavement, and it had a kind of "M" shape embossed on it, so we thought maybe it might be underground. We came back the night of the gig and right enough, the pavement had opened up and there was a stairway leading underground. We were amazed, it was a great night and one of the best venues I have been to.
As much as I love This Town Ain't Big Enough and The Number One Song in Heaven, which they played on the night, I have plumped for a song which unfortunately they did not play...
New York, to see Silversun Pickups. Jude retired last year. She is a huge Elvis fan, so I promised I would take her to Graceland once she retired. We spent two weeks in the US, a few days in New York, Memphis with Gracelands, Sun Studios and the amazing Stax Studios which we spent hours in and we finished off in New Orleans spending our nights in the various soul bars there.
While in New York, we saw that The Silversun Pickups were playing at The Webster Theatre and managed to get tickets. I only really knew a couple of their songs but we were happy to get to a gig whilst there. We have since bought their albums and really like them. The stand out track and another one of my favourite songs is Lazy Eye, from the opening riff as it builds up until it explodes, top tune.
And in August last year, we went to Bangkok to see The Strokes (and also The Bangkok Beatles, who are brilliant).
I hope there will be more in the future.
Overall, Dubai is a great, vibrant city to live in, with sunshine most days of the year. However, for five months of the year, it is too hot and humid, 40-50 degrees most days. During this period it's too humid to be outdoors, especially in the evenings.
You asked if I ever get homesick. Sometimes I do, especially missing my family and friends, but I have been here for so long now and met many good friends and that helps a lot, I have also had family and friends visit over the years. It's a nice place to visit, especially during the UK winter months.
The one thing I do miss is when I see gigs or bands advertised playing in the UK and I am out here and realize I am missing so many great nights, that's the one thing I miss.
PS: I know you said you previously worked in Radio. My minor claim to fame was back in 1997, my boss entered me for Music Brain on Radio 1. It was a music quiz by Mark Goodier that ran the whole year and I was lucky enough to win it. I was on it three times during the year and the final was just before Christmas. I was delighted to win it as I love a good music quiz. It was a kinda precursor to Pop Master I suppose, as it was a year before Pop Master started and only ran for one year.
I can't thank Jim enough for this post. When I asked him if he fancied doing a guest post, I had no idea he'd put so much into it. I'm sure you'll agree it makes for a fascinating insight into the adventures of a British music fan abroad, with a great selection of tunes to go along with it. Thanks again, Jim - you're a star!
No, I've never heard of Gazebo either, but apparently this was a 1983 Number One in 7 European countries. In the UK, we were too busy listening to Karma Chameleon.
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