Snapshots #426: Cat Songs

Hey there, all you cool cats and kittens!

15. Take half a Diazepam and Relax for a year.

Diazepam = Valium. Half would be Vali. Frankie said Relax. A year is Four Seasons.

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons – Rag Doll

14. Rubbish collecting Eagle and cancelled Sugar.

Dennis Eagle made dustbin wagons. Brown Sugar was cancelled.

Dennis Brown – Wolf & Leopards

13. Are We Okay? In a way.

"We Okay" was an anagram.

Wye Oak – Siamese

12. The very latest in henchmen.

Brand New Heavies - Sphynx

11. Conventionality belongs to yesterday at police high school.

"Conventionality belongs to yesterday" is from Grease, the high school being Rydell High, and this is a Bobby.

Bobby Rydell – The Alley Cat Song

10. Disregard the big ears on those nuns.

Corn has big ears. Disregard = shed.

The Cornshed Sisters - Ocelot Song

9. Boss visits A&E with genital chafing.

Bruce Cockburn – Wondering Where The Lions Are

8. Splits her time between Blur and Culture Club.

Blur and Culture Club.

Lulu - I'm A Tiger

7. Sorrow's native sons…

That's a line from a song by The Smiths. Which song?

Pretty Girls Make Graves – Wildcat 

6. Found in Orlando, Jackson and the biggest town in Wales.

Tony Orlando, Joe Jackson and Barry... White.

Tony Joe White – Jaguar Man

5. They have cube-shaped poo.

Apparently it's a fact.

The Wombats – Cheetah Tongue

4. Revolting peasant found in football pundit.

Shearwater – The Snow Leopard

3. Buffalo goes to Howard’s End.

Buffalo Tom... Howard Jones.

Tom Jones – What’s New, Pussycat?

2. Hannah dies as a result of mix-up.

"Hannah dies" was an anagram.

Nadine Shah - Club Cougar

1.  Horniest city looks in need of illumination.

"Horniest city" was an anagram. Illumination would come from an All Seeing I.

Tony Christie & The All Seeing I - Walk Like A Panther 

Join us for more of this twaddle next Saturday morning. It's more enjoyable than cleaning out the cat's litter tray.

Saturday Snapshots #352: A Top Ten Posterior Songs

I almost ran this picture yesterday, but I figured it would be too much of a giveaway... so I featured the colossal arse that is Tom Hanks instead.

Here are ten songs we sit down on - or synonyms for posterior, if you prefer. 

10. Frankie's pall was rather dull and unfashionable. 

A dull and unfashionable person is a dowd. Frankie was pals with Johnny.

Johnny Dowd - Opus III: Caboose

9. Larry aches after playing Twister.

Untwist "Larry aches" and you get...

Ray Charles - Shake A Tailfeather

8. If I could be for only an hour, tiny.

"If I could be for only an hour," is a line from Jackie.

Little Jackie - 28 Butts

7. Inside Reece and Steve's peach.

Reece Shearsmith & Steve Pemberton made Inside Number 9. 

The Nectarine No. 9 - This Arsehole's Been Burned Too Many Times Before

6. In this world, we've got to find the time for things that come in bottles and lamps. See?

"In this world, we've got to find the time," is a line from The Life Of Riley.

Genies come in bottles and lamps. C?

Jeannie C. Riley - The Back Side Of Dallas

5. Policeman stuck in School of Grease.

Rydell High was the school in Grease.

Bobby Rydell - Honey Buns

4. Scary Christopher in Forest of Dean.

Christopher Lee was pretty scary. Hazell Dean was an 80s pop star, in a wood.

Lee Hazlewood - Poet, Fool Or Bum

3. Golden King, Silver Queen, Blue Prince.

Golden King, Silver Queen and Blue Prince are all types of holly.

The Hollies - I Can't Tell The Bottom From The Top

Good song, though I have a special fondness for the Kevin Rowland version.

2. Californian kestrels, ahoy!

I See Hawks In LA - Stop Driving Like An Asshole

1. The Colonel stops frying and lets daylight do its work.

KFC without the F, using sunshine instead...

KC & The Sunshine Band - Shake Your Booty

You 

Get off your arses next Saturday morning for more of the same...