I didn't really know what to call this week's Top Ten, and I only really settled on "Mythical Creatures" under protest... since clearly everyone knows Bigfoot isn't a myth.
Apologies, all you sceptics, but I'm 100% Fox Mulder: I want to believe. The alternative is a much more boring world.
Anyway, here are ten songs about creatures I'm willing to be convinced are just as real as you or I...
Rol: I went into a local newsagents to get some Formula 1 cards that Sam is collecting. Didn't get any. Instead, I got a 5 minute lecture on how he's been a newsagent all his life and he doesn't stock trading cards because he's seen too many kids throw away money on them and blah blah blah blah blah. It was like something out of League of Gentlemen.
Ben: He sounds more like he hates kids. Probably doesn't like them in his shop at all.
I remember the days of collecting stickers for my Beano Panini sticker books and my Simpsons one.
Running around the house desperate to do chores, no matter how small, so I could get another 30p and run to the shop to get another pack.
I'm so old it was Empire Strikes Back.
That dotard in your newsagent's doesn't know what he's on about. I still have my two stickerbooks. Can't bring myself to throw them away because of the memories of putting it together. I only ever see it when I'm moving but it sparks pleasant memories and I spend a good ten minutes looking through. I still remember which ones were so rare and the excitement of finding them.
Yeah, I still have a couple of mine too.
It was a hilarious scene though. He was still lecturing me as I left the shop. I wish I'd said to him, "how many newspapers are you selling these days, mate?"
You should have gone full bell-end and started mimicking him in the most obnoxious voice with exaggerated hand gestures...
I love miserable shopkeepers though. I still remember the local coffee shop I dared to go in at 3.30 (he closed at 4). He audibly groaned as I walked in and said, "I hope you don't want coffee 'cos I'm cleaning the machine now."
Still, we need to support our local businesses!
Definitely. But it's definitely helpful if they aren't dicks.
You work in customer service in an age where you can get almost anything delivered. All I need is a smile and I'm sold.
Did he at least have a mini freezer full of 10p Mr Freezes?
I wasn't about to start inspecting the things he chose worthy of selling: too busy listening to what he wouldn't sell. I bet he had some dodgy magazines behind the counter. He's probably not heard of the internet.
I really want an ice pop now.
One thing that I really miss as a vegan is a choc ice
I can get Magnums and shop own brand ones and luxury style non dairy ice-creams that mimic a Magnum but I want a choc ice.
Something that has no pretensions.
In a paper bag, usually broken. Cheapest shit on earth. I want that.
We had dairy free ice cream this afternoon.
It was horrible
What brand? There's some shockers.
Poncy ice cream shop that's opened up in the centre of the village. Only sells DF.
Homemade?
I guess so. Sam liked the bubblegum flavour, but the mango I had was minging.
Gritty and ice shards?
No, it was smooth enough. Just tasted artificial. I like a nice sorbet, but this wasn't it.
Can't comment as haven't tried it. But I'd say that's less to do with non dairy and more to do with the flavour that the shop uses. Poorly made vegan ice cream usually is gritty or has ice shards in because non dairy milks have xantham gum in to thicken and stop separation which if you don't freeze it properly separates the water and turns it into some weird ice.
Left a nasty taste in my mouth, can still taste it now. Like those drinks full of aspartame.
That'll just be the flavouring. Probably used a low sugar one. Ugh.
I really want a choc ice now.
There's a Top 10 songs for you. Ones that mention choc ices. Or ice creams. No repeating dishes. i.e. no two sundae songs.
I know Kano had a lyric somewhere with Choc Ice in...
All ice cream songs. Failed miserably on choc ices.
Needs to be more specific.
E.g. Cone.
Sundae.
Knickerbocker Glory.
Choc ice.
Solero.
Strawberry split.
I'll need more time for that.
I'm sure Kelis must have a song about licking ice creams...
Just trying to challenge you...
I will accept cone and waffle cone as two separate ones.
Also a tub of ice cream.
Not something like "two scoops" as that doesn't define the sort of ice-cream.
Magic Whip is the worst Blur album. So I'm not going there.
I'd completely forgot that one exists.
If you struggle, I will also accept half of them to be ice lollies, but they must refer to the product itself and not just use the word. I.e. "fab" and "zoom" must refer to the ice lolly Fab and not an adjective and zoom must refer to that bitching ice lolly and not the verb.
Louise hated when I introduced Sam to the Banana Splits.
Love the Banana Splits. When I was about 7 they reran their Saturday morning show on cartoon network. With all the skits and the shows within them.
I can't say I ever got the appeal, beyond the theme song.
I think it's the chaotic nature of them.
Especially when every other presenter was trying to be more cool.
Even at an early age you were rebelling against the system.
I think I've said but I loved the slapstick nature of The Three Stooges, Mr Bean, Tom and Jerry. And this was a set of shows that were presented by these silly creatures. The go kart bit always cracked me up.
For a Top Ten Spider Songs, here's three Spider-Men. Rumour has it they may all appear together in the same film at the end of this year. That probably won't mean much to you, but to me it'll be like all my Christmases come at once.
Anyway, some web-spinning songs...
10. Not the French band.
Last week we featured the French band Space. This is the Liverpudlian band who stole their name.
I had to start this week's Elvis Friday with the Sesame Street version of the Elvis Costello song I posted last week. Thanks very much to Rigid Digit for bringing this to my attention. It was too good to stay languishing in a comment box though...
The purpose of Elvis Fridays is to cheer me (and maybe you too) up after another long hard week of lockdown working. And that certainly did the trick.
Which other Elvis might I call upon to put a smile on my face this morning?
How about this one...?
And what about the King himself? What has he got that can compete with Kirsty and the Cookie Monster?
How about this rare live recording of Elvis singing Tony Joe White's classic Polk Salad Annie in his Vegas years. People make fun of the Vegas years, but I watch a performance like this, and damn it, what I wouldn't give to have been in that audience. From a 2020 perspective, 1970 looks like the place to be...
Ground control to Major Tom - check your Saturday Snapshots answers and put your helmet on...
Let's hope Brexit (if it happems) doesn't put an end to our European friends from taking part in Saturday Snapshots... because this week saw our Danish and German blog-friends take a clear victory. Well done to Chris and Walter, who got seven of the answers before any of our U.K. contenders even got out of bed. Charity Chic, Rigid Digit and Mr. C solved the rest, but the hard work had been done by the time they (and Alyson) arrived.
