Snapshots #323: A Top Twelve Small Town Songs

This is Karen Fairchild, from Alabama country group Little Big Town. I don't just throw this thing together, you know. I spend at least five minutes thinking about it.

Anyway, here are a bunch of small town songs... with very big tunes.

12. Chatty boss gets too close to the fire.

The chatty boss is a Talking Head. He's also a Byrne victim.

David Byrne - Tiny Town

11. Self-confessed bitch.

Hey, I'm only quoting Meredith herself.

Meredith Brooks - My Little Town

10. Kept in an ample jar.

Anagram!

Pearl Jam - Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

9. Cheering on the dregs of society.

Hurray For The Riff Raff - Small Town Heroes

8. Sounds like a bucket that needs more sun.

A pail that's too pale...

The Pale - Small Town

7. The king goes Bare.

King Charles meets Bobby Bare...

Bobby Charles - Small Town Talk

6. I'm only dancing, but I'd like to get to know you well.

John, I'm Only Dancing... with Howard Jones.

John Howard - Small Town, Big Adventures

5. Swell Maps' second.

The second album by indie darlings Swell Maps was called Jane From Occupied Europe. In 1990, a short-lived band from Salisbury took that as their own...

Jane From Occupied Europe - Little Valley Town

4. Sad chimes.

The Bluebells - Small Town Martyr

3. Charles Weedon Westover did a lot of running back in the day.

He was a Runaway. He chased after Runaround Sue (though Dion beat him to her). Then he came Runnin; On Back. And his real name was Charles Weedon Westover.

Del Shannon - Little Town Flirt

2. She was the only thing not on sale.

You could buy Everything But The Girl.

Tracey Thorn - Small Town Girl 

1. Formerly a middle-aged woman who likes to chase after younger men.

He used to be a Cougar.

John Mellencamp - Small Town

SPECIAL FESTIVE BONUS SONG!

Frank Sinatra - O Little Town Of Bethlehem

Willie Nelson - O Little Town of Bethlehem

Elvis Presley - O Little Town of Bethlehem

Mark Kozelek - O Little Town of Bethlehem

If you ask me, it's still too early for Christmas songs. But maybe next week...

Of course, this week's real Number One song should have been the one below. My brain wasn't working though, and all the searches I did for "Small Town" songs failed to remind me of the "Smalltown" songs. Rookie mistake.

Product Placement #24: Wimpy

Before the Red Weed of McDonalds conquered the world, if we fancied a quick burger, we all headed out to our local Wimpy Bar. Back in the 80s, Wimpy was pretty much your only option for fast food in the UK, beyond more traditional fare such as fish and chips or pie and peas. In the 90s, many Wimpys were transformed into Burger Kings (same parent company), though Huddersfield still has an actual original Wimpy, in the same place it was when I was a kid. I have to confess I haven't been in there for 40-odd years, but if you held a gun to my head, I'd choose it over the golden arches or a flame-grilled Whopper, if only for nostalgia's sake.

The word "Wimpy" appears in thousands of songs, mostly as a pejorative that has nothing to do with the burger chain. I listened to them all, just in case. Here are a few songs that did have a more direct connection, starting with the lesser-known titular mentions...

The Plague - Wimpy Bar Song

Ram John Holder - Wimpy Bar Blues

Colin Lloyd Tucker - Bluebird and the Wimpy Bar Kid

Let's start our lyrical nods in the days before T-Rex...

Wimpy bar misfit, I don't wanna be
Like Billy the kid left hangin' from no tree

Marc Bolan - Misfit

Meanwhile, Pauline Black clearly has some Wimpy-related trauma in her past...

Oranges spinning in a Wimpy bar

Although she knows it's not the same

She sits and wonders where it all went wrong

Wraps her coat around her pain

The Selecter - Vicky's Magic Garden

And now, especially for George, some vintage Genesis prog-bollocks...

Citizens of Hope and Glory
Time goes by, it's the time of your life
Easy now, sit you down
Chewing through your Wimpy dreams
They eat without a sound
Digesting England by the pound

Genesis - Driving With The Moonlit Knight

In a similarly nonsensical vein, I have to wonder if there was something more than meat in Poly Styrene's Wimpy... 

I drove my polypropolene
Car on wheels of sponge
Then pulled into a Wimpy bar
To have a rubber bun

X-Ray Spex - The Day the World Turned Day-Glo

Back in the 80s, Ralph Rabie was a South African singer songwriter who used the stage-name Johannes Kerkorrel to protest against Apartheid. His song Hillbrow became a big hit in Belgium and The Netherlands. Proving that Wimpy Bars had, at one point at least, taken over the world...  

Ou man sit by die straatkafees

En kyk al die mense loop heen-en-weer

Boemelaars raas by die Wimpy Bar

Translated from Afrikaans...

Old man sitting at the street cafes

And look at all the people walking back and forth

Hobos rave at the Wimpy Bar

Johannes Kerkorrel - Hillbrow

Actually, "the world" is probably pushing it. But Wimpy's were very popular in South Africa, which is also where these guys came from...

Strum on your mandolin and play your guitar

Take all your problems to the Wimpy Bar

Falling Mirror - What Are We Here For?

Actually, The Wimpy Bar started out in the good old US of A. However, the only American singer I can find who mentions them is the amazing Mr. Byrne, although he's referring to J Wellington Wimpy, Popeye's cartoon friend who inspired the name of the Wimpy Bar.

It goes back to Wimpy lookin’ cross eyed 

For a juicy hamburger 

Like they don’t make anymore

David Byrne - It Goes Back

Back in the UK, Tom Robinson only frequented his local Wimpy to keep out of the cold...

Eat at the Wimpy or freeze on the street

And hope we don't know anybody we meet

Sector 27 - Where Can We Go Tonight?

(Sadly, in the TV version that's on the tube of you, they appear to have made Tom change the lyrics to "Eat in the chippy", which doesn't make any sense, because you don't eat in the chippy, you buy your food and then go back out into the cold. Stupid BBC.)

My overall take home from today's investigations is that Wimpy's were a crap place to take someone on a date (even if it was cold, Tom). Although clearly nobody told Ian Anderson that...

Take you to the cinema

And leave you in a Wimpy Bar

You tell me that we've gone too far

Jethro Tull - Up To Me

I have to wonder if Ian's date was Julz Sale from Leeds post-punk band Delta 5. That might explain the little second person rant with which we close today's proceedings: another gem from Cherry Red's tremendous Where Were You? compilation.

Who took me to the Wimpy for a big night out?

You you you YOU!

Snapshots #226: A Top Ten Lazy Songs

Yes, I'm using the same picture I did yesterday. Because I'm too lazy to change it, and because sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude, in Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. Here's this week's answers...

10. Cat sits on white wine.

Cats sit on mats. As readers of the Oi, Frog! books will know.

Italian white wine is bianco.

Matt Bianco - Get Out Of Your Lazy Bed

9. Naval gazing ladies.

Naval as in marines.

Marine Girls - Lazy Ways

Young Tracey Thorn on the left.

8. Clark Kent isn't sharp or flat.

If he's not a sharp or flat, he must be a natural. A Super-natural.

The Supernaturals - Lazy Lover

7. Floating aristocrat. 

She's bobbing, she's gentry, she's...

Bobbie Gentry - Lazy Willie

(Rare photo of her as an older lady, after many years avoiding the camera lens.)

6. A cheerful start to the week in Colorado.

It's a Happy Monday in Denver.

The Happy Mondays & Karl Denver - Lazyitis

5. Peter Gabriel album terrified of taking the Michael.

So fears George (Michael).

Sophia George - Lazy Body

4. Sue decides to hide a band.

SUEDEcides.

Suede - Lazy

3. Race me, Amadeus.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, racing on his Go-Kart.

Go-Kart Mozart - Selfish & Lazy & Greedy

(Featuring Lawrence from Felt, of course.)

2. Watches have them; in comparison, clocks don't.

Watches have small faces compared to clocks.

The Small Faces - Lazy Sunday

Hello, Mrs. Jones - how's your Bert's lumbago?

1. Bryan dived onto the second fastest train.

"Bryan dived" is an anagram.

The second fastest train would be the...

X-Press 2, featuring David Byrne

Yaaaawn. You still here?

The United Kingdom of Song #27: Dumbarton

There's a town in Virginia, USA, called Dumbarton, and I'm guessing that's the Dumbarton which gets a lyrical name-check in both El Cerrito by Cracker and Chief Inspector Blancheflower by The Fiery Furnaces.

The Dumbarton we visit today though is on the west coast of Scotland and it was the birthplace of David Byrne and Wings guitarist Jimmy McCulloch. Apparently Franz Ferdinand once released a remix of their song Take Me Out retitled "David Byrne Was Born In Dumbarton", but I can't find that anywhere to t'interweb.

I couldn't find any other songs that mentioned Dumbarton by name, but I did find this little beauty from Glaswegian indie band (and a band I've actually met and interviewed!), The Supernaturals.

Boghead Park (former home of Dumbarton F.C.) was the oldest football stadium in Scotland when it finally closed down in 2000, having originally been opened in 1879. Here, James McColl of the Supernaturals fondly remembers visiting Boghead as a boy...

My Top Ten 2018 Songs That Wouldn't Fit Into Any of the Other 2018 Top Tens I Did

A final ten songs which wouldn't fit / I didn't have room for in either My Top Ten Country / Americana Songs, My Top Ten Scottish Songs, My Top Ten Trump Songs or My Top Ten Indie/Alt Guitar Songs from 2018...


10. Jonathan Wilson - There's A Light

Laurel Canyon producer who's worked with Conor Oberst, Father John Misty, Bonnie 'Prince' Billie, Roy Harper, Dawes and Glen Campbell... among others... also makes a decent racket on his own.

9. The Hold Steady - Eureka

The Hold Steady got back together at the end of last year but have been pretty slow in releasing new material. Still, I'm a huge fan and every track is to be treasured. Hoping for much more in 2019.

8. Charlie Dore - A Dog Out Looking For His Day

Remember when Sting did that song from the perspective of a dog? No? Consider yourself lucky.

Anyway, here's the concept done right by the lady who brought us Pilot of the Airwaves way back in the 70s. Yep, she's still going strong.

7. David Byrne - A Dog's Mind

And here's another dog song, from David Byrne's best record in a while. Wish I'd got to catch him live.

6. Mark Kozelek - My Love For You Is Undying

Mark Kozelek probably released another twenty albums this year that I haven't yet heard... he's probably released another one while I was typing this sentence... but his eponymous solo album produced more glorious autobiographical ramblings that you'll either dig or want to bury. The word "art" is much misused in the contemporary music industry, but I would argue that Kozelek is the closest thing we have to a true artist working in the field today, putting himself 100% into his music, warts and all, and making a truly individual noise that will touch and speak to only a tiny minority... I consider myself fortunate to "get him" where millions won't.

5. Luke Haines - Subbuteo Lads

And then we have Britain's answer to Mark Kozelek, another "artist" whose work becomes more eccentric and individual with every release. His latest album, I Sometimes Dream Of Glue, is a collection of songs about Airfix, Hornby, sex and Subbuteo that ploughs deeper into the unique 70s/80s nostalgia groove that has become his stock-in-trade. Although Subbuteo Lads isn't the best song musically on the album, it does have the best opening line.

4. Tom Odell ft. Alice Merton - Half As Good As You

From two artists who've swam about as far from the mainstream as it's possible to get... I give you the best pure pop song of the year, from an artist following very well in the footsteps of Elton John & Billy Joel (he's even supported Billy and covered Piano Man for Children In Need). This particular track starts out as a straightforward piano duet then morphs into and 80s power ballad - wait till the drums hammer in around the 2 minute mark and we're suddenly into Diana Ross / Lionel Ritchie or Roberta Flack / Peabo Bryson territory.

My Top Ten: proud to have been irking the musos since 21012.

3. Bruce Springsteen - Growin' Up (Live On Broadway)

I only got the album for Christmas and haven't watched the Netflix performance yet... but if this is anything to go by, I'll have a lot more to say about this record soon.

2. The Fugitives - No Words

A tribute to Leonard Cohen from his fellow Canadians. Powerful stuff.

1. Okkervil River - Famous Tracheotomies

Will Sheff's parents tried for a long time to have a child, with miscarriages and more making it a very traumatic time for them. After Will was finally born, he became very ill as a young boy. The operation that saved his life involved fitting him with a tracheotomy tube which he then had for a long period throughout his childhood.

This song is about Sheff's gratitude for that little tube that allowed him to still be here today... and many other famous names whose lives have been saved by tracheotomies, including Dylan Thomas, Mary Wells, Gary Coleman (Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes) and Ray Davies, who wrote Waterloo Sunset in memory of the time he himself had been recovering from such an operation.

2018 Contenders: Thoughts For The Day



Now a dog cannot imagine

What it is to drive a car

And we, in turn, are limited

By what it is we are

We are dogs in our own paradise

In a theme park all our own

Doggie dancers doing duty

Doggie dreaming all day long

I'll say this about the new album by David Byrne: there is most definitely water at the bottom of the ocean.

A cockroach might eat Mona Lisa

The Pope don’t mean shit to a dog

And elephants don’t read newspapers

And the kiss of a chicken is hot



The Hot 100 Countdown #96

96 could only have been one song, but there have been many fine versions over the years... so which is my favourite?

Chris and The Swede both went for the original by ? & The Mysterians, one of the original garage bands, led by the very Jagger-esque Rudy Martinez.

Lynchie suggested a live version by Richard Thompson & David Byrne - now there's an unbeatable team-up! Suits them both very well.

C went for Big Maybelle's version - never heard that before, but it's a cracker.

Charity Chic introduced me to Eddie & The Hot Rods take on it... very good too.

Swiss Adam suggested the Primal Scream cover... pretty trippy... I always like it when the Scream go mental like this.

Nobody went for the other two versions in my record collection: Garland Jeffreys or The Inspiral Carpets, but both are worth the odd spin. (That organ solo must have been irresistible to Clint Boon!)

Once you start digging around on youtube, you can find all manner of treats, including Aretha, Iggy... even Bruce. But for me, it goes back to my first love. The version I first heard. The version I bought on 7" inch single back in 1990. Congrats to Alyson and Rigid Digit for guessing right this week.

Take it away, Hugh...



95's going to be a bit tougher to guess, I reckon. Any takers?