Friday, 27 October 2023

Product Placement #24: Wimpy


Before the Red Weed of McDonalds conquered the world, if we fancied a quick burger, we all headed out to our local Wimpy Bar. Back in the 80s, Wimpy was pretty much your only option for fast food in the UK, beyond more traditional fare such as fish and chips or pie and peas. In the 90s, many Wimpys were transformed into Burger Kings (same parent company), though Huddersfield still has an actual original Wimpy, in the same place it was when I was a kid. I have to confess I haven't been in there for 40-odd years, but if you held a gun to my head, I'd choose it over the golden arches or a flame-grilled Whopper, if only for nostalgia's sake.

The word "Wimpy" appears in thousands of songs, mostly as a pejorative that has nothing to do with the burger chain. I listened to them all, just in case. Here are a few songs that did have a more direct connection, starting with the lesser-known titular mentions...



Let's start our lyrical nods in the days before T-Rex...

Wimpy bar misfit, I don't wanna be
Like Billy the kid left hangin' from no tree

Marc Bolan - Misfit

Meanwhile, Pauline Black clearly has some Wimpy-related trauma in her past...

Oranges spinning in a Wimpy bar
Although she knows it's not the same
She sits and wonders where it all went wrong
Wraps her coat around her pain

The Selecter - Vicky's Magic Garden

And now, especially for George, some vintage Genesis prog-bollocks...

Citizens of Hope and Glory
Time goes by, it's the time of your life
Easy now, sit you down
Chewing through your Wimpy dreams
They eat without a sound
Digesting England by the pound

Genesis - Driving With The Moonlit Knight

In a similarly nonsensical vein, I have to wonder if there was something more than meat in Poly Styrene's Wimpy... 

I drove my polypropolene
Car on wheels of sponge
Then pulled into a Wimpy bar
To have a rubber bun


Back in the 80s, Ralph Rabie was a South African singer songwriter who used the stage-name Johannes Kerkorrel to protest against Apartheid. His song Hillbrow became a big hit in Belgium and The Netherlands. Proving that Wimpy Bars had, at one point at least, taken over the world...  

Ou man sit by die straatkafees
En kyk al die mense loop heen-en-weer
Boemelaars raas by die Wimpy Bar

Translated from Afrikaans...

Old man sitting at the street cafes
And look at all the people walking back and forth
Hobos rave at the Wimpy Bar


Actually, "the world" is probably pushing it. But Wimpy's were very popular in South Africa, which is also where these guys came from...

Strum on your mandolin and play your guitar
Take all your problems to the Wimpy Bar

Falling Mirror - What Are We Here For?

Actually, The Wimpy Bar started out in the good old US of A. However, the only American singer I can find who mentions them is the amazing Mr. Byrne, although he's referring to J Wellington Wimpy, Popeye's cartoon friend who inspired the name of the Wimpy Bar.


It goes back to Wimpy lookin’ cross eyed 
For a juicy hamburger 
Like they don’t make anymore


Back in the UK, Tom Robinson only frequented his local Wimpy to keep out of the cold...

Eat at the Wimpy or freeze on the street
And hope we don't know anybody we meet


(Sadly, in the TV version that's on the tube of you, they appear to have made Tom change the lyrics to "Eat in the chippy", which doesn't make any sense, because you don't eat in the chippy, you buy your food and then go back out into the cold. Stupid BBC.)

My overall take home from today's investigations is that Wimpy's were a crap place to take someone on a date (even if it was cold, Tom). Although clearly nobody told Ian Anderson that...

Take you to the cinema
And leave you in a Wimpy Bar
You tell me that we've gone too far


I have to wonder if Ian's date was Julz Sale from Leeds post-punk band Delta 5. That might explain the little second person rant with which we close today's proceedings: another gem from Cherry Red's tremendous Where Were You? compilation.

Who took me to the Wimpy for a big night out?
You you you YOU!



6 comments:

  1. I can vouch for the popularity of the Wimpy Bar in South Africa back in the 1970s and am pleased to report it is still going strong. When I change planes in Johannesburg on my annual visit to the local Gogginses I often refuel at the branch in the domestic departure lounge.

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  2. PS Johannes Kerkorrel's "Eet Kreef" (Eat lobster) album, from which "Hillbrow" comes, is rightly considered a South African classic.

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  3. There is still an original one in Dingwall as well

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  4. "...the Red Weed of McDonalds..." *doffs cap*

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  5. the genesis song, unlike the rest, will not be played in THIS house.

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    1. Is that because you've worn out your copy?

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