Sadly, I couldn't find any songs with a titular mention of the Rozzer, but they did once arrest Sir Thumbs Aloft for wearing a pink balloon about his foot...
I don't remember my Home Economics teacher at all. Not her name, nor what she looked like. Maybe this explains why I'm hopeless in the kitchen and can only just manage to sew a button onto my shirt after stabbing myself in the finger a few times.
I can remember most of the other teachers I had at school by either name or face, but there's just a blank when it comes to Home Economics lessons. I vaguely remember having to take ingredients in when we were doing cooking... maybe we made an egg salad one time? Something with pastry? The only thing I definitely remember making was a blancmange. And it was horrible. I've not eaten blancmange since. Does anybody still eat blancmange? When was the last time you had one?
I wish I had paid more attention in Home Economics. I wish I'd taken it past the second year. Nowadays, boys might be more likely to do so, but back in the Neolithic era, it was very much seen as a girl's subject and the other kids had more than enough ammunition when it came to targeting me, I wasn't going to give them an easy goal like that.
I'll get round to Henry Kissinger eventually. He may not deserve a tribute, but he certainly appears in plenty of songs.
First though, and far more importantly, we need to celebrate the life of the man who sung this...
If you were to make a list of the best intros to 60s hits, that would be right up there. It's a cover, of course, and the Bessie Banks original is pretty special too... but Denny & co. gave it a bit more zing. Denny didn't stick it out with the Moody Blues and most of their subsequent success came with Justin Hayward at the helm... but for me, they never bettered that track, even when they got decked out in White Satin.
Denny didn't stop there though, he went on to form The Electric String Band and begin releasing solo material too...
You might say he earned his Wings with that one. So it's hardly a surprise that Sir Thumbs Aloft would soon be giving Denny a call and asking him to join a new beat combo he was putting together. I often wonder, late at night when I just can't get to sleep, whether Macca invited Denny to join Wings because his name sounded like a pun on Penny Lane. Or did Denny - whose real name was Brian Frederick Hines - choose that particular rock star alias for exactly that reason? Not according to Denny himself, who claimed the Laine came from Frankie, his sister's favourite singer, and Denny because... er... "everyone had a backyard, and a den to hang out. I think I got that nickname there." Turns out that Denny had his stage name before Paul wrote Penny Lane, but as the song is about a real Liverpudlian Street, could the Birmingham lad have visited it in his youth and found it just as inspirational as the Scousers did? You can see why I find it hard to get back to sleep.
As to Wings... well, they were only the band The Beatles could have been.
You knew that one was coming.
Which leads us to this...
Mull Of Kintyre is a track I was taught to hate from an early age. It became cool to loathe it, largely due to the fact, I presume, that it was the UK's biggest selling single of all time throughout the late 70s and half the 80s, at least until Band Aid came along and sold a few more copies. But is it really that bad? I mean, OK, it's no Band On The Run or Jet or Goodnight Tonight... it's not even Junior's Farm... but really, it is really worth all the vitriol? Even when the bagpipes come in. Actually, watching that video now, I come over all wistful for times long gone, and that's the power of a good pop song as far as I'm concerned.
When Ben alerted me to the passing of Denny Laine, he added the following comment...
That means it's only going to be Fairytale of New York and Mull Of Kintyre this Christmas. At least it means Stop The Cavalry will have less airtime. Christ, I hate that song.
Unwittingly, Ben just provided me with an excellent link into the only obvious song that came to mind as a tribute to Denny Laine...
Sadly that was all I could find that mentioned Denny by name. Well, apart from this live track from the album Wings Over Europe on which Macca graciously cedes the stage to Denny...
I'm sorry you have to Go Now, Denny. I hope your heaven is filled with mist rolling in from the sea.
Last week, Avon came calling, but nobody wanted to hear about what Fred was getting up to in the back seat.
This week, we take flight... I couldn't believe how many bands shared their name with Macca's...
WINGS #1
Paul Simon had a little brother called Eddie. In 1967, Eddie joined forces with Oz Bach, a former member of Spanky & Our Gang, and Pam Robins of the Serendipity Singers to form... Wings! Eddie left by the time they made any records. They're only the band The Beatles could have been.
I know what you're thinking: "That's not real!" Funny you should say that...
THE WINGS #2
Also coming together in the late 60s, Wings (the definite article) were Afrobeat pioneers from Nigeria formed by front-man Spud Nathan. They're only the band The Beatles could have been. Here's their most popular tune...
I realise I'm in the minority, but I do find Paul McCartney's Wings far less annoying than The Beatles. I mean, Mull of Kintyre is horrible, and the less that's said about Give Ireland Back To The Irish, the better. But C Moon. Band On The Run. Jet. Silly Love Songs. Live And Let Die. Maybe I'm Amazed... I'd rather listen to those than anything on Sgt. Pepper.
WINGS #4
It's 1988. It's some South African funk. It's only the bloke the Beatles could have been.
WINGS #5
Straight out of Kuala Lumpur in the year 1985 came our next Wings. By 1996, they sounded like this...
(They're only the band The Beatles could have been.)
WINGS #6
Anssi Hyvärinen, Harri Kessunmaa, Kai Hahto and Karri Suoraniemi joined forces in the early 90s in Finland. Together they were... only the band The Beatles could have been.
WINGS #7
DJ Die, DJ Krust and Roni Size banded together in 1997 for one mission and one mission only. And yet, somehow, they come up first when you search for Wings in Discogs... kicking Macca down to a "Wings (2)" designation. Surely these guys were definitely the band The Beatles could have been.
WINGS #8
K-Pop! It's the new doo-wop! It's only the musical phenomenon the Beatles etc. etc.
8 different acts... but which one gives you wings?
Reg Dwight is, of course, Elton John. (Who could have featured in this countdown with B-b-b-Bennie & The Jets.) If Elton was on tour, he might stay at the Crossroads Motel.
Those of you who know about such things will recognise that as the original version of the song that would become Plastic Bertrand's Ça Plane Pour Moi. The Elton Motello version was a bit too rude for the time, so they changed the lyrics to nonsense French and a worldwide hit was born.
Don't worry if you Drew a blank yesterday, here are the answers to our special 200th Anniversary edition of Saturday Snapshots. All the song titles were taken (or adapted) as band names by other artists...
I was out walking with Sam the other day when I came across the "Happy Bench". Something about it really wound me up. Apologies, my reaction below gets a little extreme - but it was for humorous effect. I'm not really the sort of person who would ever consider micturating on public property. Still... I often present the best side of my nature on this blog. Whereas Ben gets the darker side.
(That said, when I posted a picture of the Happy Bench on my facebook feed, I was amazed by how many of my FB friends reacted in a far grumpier way that I did. It's good to know you're not the biggest misanthrope in the room. And that I chose my friends wisely.)
Rol: Well, I won't be sitting here then...
Ben: Or you could rip it off and set it alight at your feet?
Send a strong message.
I pissed on it. Will that do?
Only if you then sit in it. Commit to it.
If I did that, some happy person might come talk to me.
You could start growling? And yipping, like a small dog.
The yip is even more unexpected than a bark.
Flashback to my 20s.
Did you used to be a furry? Get up to a little bit of yipping?
The great dichotomy of my life is how much of it I've spent fighting chronic loneliness... and yet I hate people.
I'm not surprised if you go around pissing on park benches.
I Am Jack's Inflamed Sense of Rejection.
You might want to call a doctor and get that seen to.
What's the best Paul Simon song that's not on Graceland?
That is the mixtape of someone who has never made a mixtape in her life.
Or bought a record.
T'Pau!
I had a crush on Carol Decker, but still.
Even the "deep cut" by Dead Prez is still their most radio friendly one.
Are you sure the playlist isn't titled "Songs that I like when they come on the radio"?
Exactly. Never bought a record in her life.
Also. I thought it was an unwritten rule you didn't put the Beatles on mixtapes.
Or The Carpenters.
There seems little point in putting together a mixtape of songs everybody knows off by heart, to the point of being sick of them.
I mean, Respect is a classic, but I've heard it too much now.
Exactly.
Deep cuts only.
But there's no Beatles or Carpenters deep cuts.
Same with Nirvana.
Etc.
I'd put Carpenters on as a palette cleanser after something really out there. And maybe some really early, raw Beatles. I'd never say no to anything. But that playlist is just like they asked the Family Fortunes audience to name ten pop songs from the last 60 years.
Maybe it's a cover up. Maybe she has a huge Gary Glitter and R Kelly collection and doesn't want Hastings to find out.
The Dumbarton we visit today though is on the west coast of Scotland and it was the birthplace of David Byrne and Wings guitarist Jimmy McCulloch. Apparently Franz Ferdinand once released a remix of their song Take Me Out retitled "David Byrne Was Born In Dumbarton", but I can't find that anywhere to t'interweb.
I couldn't find any other songs that mentioned Dumbarton by name, but I did find this little beauty from Glaswegian indie band (and a band I've actually met and interviewed!), The Supernaturals.
Boghead Park (former home of Dumbarton F.C.) was the oldest football stadium in Scotland when it finally closed down in 2000, having originally been opened in 1879. Here, James McColl of the Supernaturals fondly remembers visiting Boghead as a boy...
The most influential pop-cultural icon of my lifetime died this week. I'm still coming to terms with that. I thought he'd live forever.
Much will no doubt be written about how Stan Lee did not singlehandedly create the Marvel Universe and how his collaborators - Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko et al. - deserve equal credit. This is very true. Stan Lee did not create Spider-Man, the Hulk or the Fantastic Four alone.
I would argue, however, that Stan did create Peter Parker, Bruce Banner and Reed, Sue, Ben and Johnny. Stan was undeniably the first superhero writer to realise that the characters behind the masks were more interesting than the masks themselves...and this is a huge legacy which changed comics - and all that came after them - forever. That influence is still felt today and can be seen when comparing the Marvel movies (fun, character-focused, tongue-in-cheek... even melodramatic, in a good way) with those of the Distinguished Competition (dark, humourless, putting spectacle above character, sensation over story). In this, he'll never get the credit he deserves.
Stan also understood something crucial about comic book fans. He understood that we are outsiders. Lonely, clumsy, awkward outcasts. Long before geek became chic, Stan was our champion. He made heroes we could relate to. Heroes we wanted to emulate. Heroes who made terrible mistakes but kept trying to do the right thing anyway. He made me who I am today.
Here's ten songs for Stan. Special mentions to these Stan-inspired bands...
Let's start with some Razorlight. No, don't go - it gets better, I promise! This isn't bad for Razorlight, to be honest... and it does mention both The Silver Surfer and Tony Stark... the Invincible Iron Man. Oh, and in case you're wondering - fine song though it is - Iron Man by Black Sabbath has nothing to do with the Marvel character, sadly.
Although Stan didn't create Captain America (he was originally created in the 40s by Joe Simon & Jack Kirby), he did revive him in the 60s and create the "man out of time" aspect which came to define the character as Stan incorporated him into the Avengers. This Scottish band from the 90s were called Captain America but soon fell foul of Marvel's lawyers and changed their name to Eugenius, as JC explains here. They were obviously Marvel fans though as the title of their single comes from the catchphrase used by Johnny Storm, the Fantastic Four's Human Torch (another Stan & Jack creation, albeit another based on a 40s Marvel character) when he burst into flame...
Artist Jack Kirby had completely different ideas in mind to Stan when he first drew the Silver Surfer, devising the character as a vengeful fallen angel type, taking out his anger on mankind. Stan developed a more sensitive, lonely and tragic side to the Surfer, allowing the cosmic herald of Galactus to give voice to some truly 60s hippy philosophy that hit a real chord with the Summer of Love generation... and later, guitarist Joe Satriani who used the iconic Surfer image as inspiration for his most successful album.
Revealing Paul McCartney as a secret Marvel Comics fan, this album track has three Marvel supervillains eagerly competing to persuade Macca that his girl is a criminal. Not only does the X-Men's arch nemesis Magneto try to hoodwink Sit Thumbs Aloft, but so do two armoured villains from the Iron Man comic, The Titanium Man and The Crimson Dynamo.
Marvel's greatest supervillain must surely be Dr. Doom though... here's a letter to him from Roky Erikson.
One final Marvel villain for you... as far as I can tell, the Green Goblin shows up in Iceland by The Fall. It's always hard to tell with Mark E. Smith though.
Marc Bolan was a huge Marvel Comics fans - you can see him above, meeting Stan Lee alongside Wizzard's Roy Wood. Bolan even interviewed Stan... who revealed that Angie Bowie was once in line to play another of Stan's creations, the Black Widow, in a 70s movie that sadly never saw the light of day.
And if you're wondering how Marc Bolan ended up getting the job of interviewing Stan... well, it was given to him by an editor at Marvel UK back then... a chap called Neil Tennant (yes, that Neil Tennant).
See also Mambo Sun in which Marc sings "I'm Doctor Strange for you" and Teenage Dream's "What ever happened to the teenage dream, Silver Surfer?"
Speaking of all things Bowie, one of the Dame's earliest hits always makes me think of Stan Lee's X-Men. Oh, You Pretty Things! includes the warning, "Better make way for the homo-superior" which was a phrase Stan had adopted from Olaf Stapledon's 1953 novel Odd John and then applied to his X-Men. It's hard to believe Bowie wasn't into the freaky outsider glam of comics like X-Men, teenage mutants who were "feared and hated by the world they have sworn to protect". He certainly inspired plenty of comic book characters in his time, including this 80s X-Men baddie, Callisto. Marvel Studios even had Bowie pegged for a cameo in a Guardians of the Galaxy movie before his own sad departure in 2016.
One musical David who definitely was a comic book fan in his youth is Mr. Gedge, as demonstrated in this Hulktacular b-side...
...and that's not the last we'll hear from the Weddoes on this subject.
1. Spider-Man
Stan's greatest moment, and my favourite super-hero, is without doubt Peter Parker, the Amazing Spider-Man. And Peter crops up in all kinds of pop songs, not least in Spider-Man On Hollywood by The Wedding Present... which may suggest David Gedge preferred the comics to the movies.
But that's not all from The Wedding Present... because Gedge also drops a big reference to Peter Parker's longtime girlfriend (one-time wife: don't go there!), Mary Jane Watson. The song is Santa Ana Winds...
I must look anxious because she fixes me with this gaze
"Face it Tiger, you just hit the jackpot!" she says
We laugh together but I'm trying hard to ignore
The fact I've won the jackpot means I've lost a whole lot more
Ad here's the scene it references, from Mary Jane's first appearance...
Oh, and if you're wondering about Peter's other famous love interest, the tragic Gwen Stacy, I can only direct you here... don't say you weren't warned.
Says maybe she'll be my GwenStacy, to spite her man
(To be fair, Eminem is a big comics fan too. And it's probably not his fault his record company made him do a song with Ed Sheeran.)
The greatest superhero of all also enjoyed his own recording history, with both Reflections Of A Superhero and the Amazing Spider-Man Rockomic, both from the 70s (which you can tell the moment you start listening to them). I own both of those, of course.
The less said about Bryan May's MC Spidey Mastermix, the better. Still, I'm sure it sounds like Beethoven's 5th when compared to the unspeakable travesty that was the Broadway Spider-Man musical, written by Bono and the Edge. (I never have and I never will.) That was the Peter Parker luck at its absolute worst!
Maybe it's because I'm such a big fan, but I've noticed more Spidey references in pop songs than for any other superhero. From Lullaby by The Cure ("the Spider-Man is having you for dinner tonight") to Sex Talk by T'Pau ("Like Spider-Man I'm climbing the wall, I want my prize")... from Veal's criminally hyphenless Spiderman ("I'm feelin suspect, just like Spiderman - you know how he gets a little nervous too") to the typically overblown pomposity of The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love by The Flaming Lips. Cliff Richard even had a Spider-Man song... oh yes, he did! (Actually, there's loads more of those... perhaps I'll do a Top Ten one day.)
The most famous Spider-Man song though is definitely this one, written by Paul Francis Webster and Robert 'Bob' Harris (no relation to the DJ). It's been covered by everybody from Aerosmith to Moxy Früvous to Michael Bublé, but the best version is clearly this one by The Ramones.
