Saturday Snapshots #176: A Top Ten Knife Songs

A Top Ten Knife Songs, you say? Why, I wouldn't harm a fly...

10. My saraband is all tangled up.

"My saraband" untangled is...

Bryan Adams - Cuts Like A Knife

9. Single American bell feels wrath over Star Trek.

A single bell might go Ding... if it was American, you can add US to that.

The Star Trek crew felt the Wrath of Khan.

Dingus Khan - Knifey Spoon

8. Aah, Roddie, you're so confused.

"Aah, Roddie", less confused, is...

Radiohead - Knives Out

7. Forbidden fruit for green princess.

The green princess is Fiona...

...the forbidden fruit was an apple.

Fiona Apple - Hot Knife

6. I swing both ways.

I'm AC/DC, baby!

AC/DC - Night of the Long Knives

5. Country George in a bad way.

Country George would be George Strait... in a dire situation.

Dire Straits - Six Blade Knife

4. Are these your paintings, Constable?

John Constable painted The Haywain...

The Haywains - Let's Twist! (The Knife In My Heart)

3. Without his cape, he's just an ordinary...

Clark, without his cape, is just an ordinary guy...

Guy Clark - The Randall Knife

2. Gentlemen prefer Tall Sally.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes... like Long Tall Sally.

The Long Blondes - A Knife For The Girls

1. See Jamaica, the moon above... it's a bit of a stretch.

"See Jamaica, the moon above," is a lyric from Louie Louie by The Kingsmen (not that it's particularly easy to decipher those lyrics).

Stretch Armstrong?

(OK, I know we should say Lou-iss Armstrong, not Lou-iee... but old habits die hard.)

Don't go Psycho on me. Saturday Snapshots will be back next week...

My Top Ten Knife Songs

"You call that a knife? These are knives..."

(Special mention to Shonen Knife and The Young Knives.)


10. Brett Anderson - Knife Edge

 A devastating piano ballad that proves Brett really doesn't need guitars to inflict a deep, lasting wound.

9. Los Campesinos - We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives

If you ever considered playing Pass The Parcel with human body parts, Los Campesinos have the song for you.

It's your party but I'll die if I want to...

8. Bryan Adams - Cuts Like A Knife

Deal with it.

7. Radiohead - Knives Out

 I remember when Radiohead released this, they said it was their "Smiths song".

So knives out
Cook him up
Squash his head
Put him in the pot

Moz would be proud. (Except, he wouldn't, of course. He hates Radiohead.)

6. PJ Harvey - Pocket Knife

They should keep her away from all sharp objects. Don't even let her run with scissors. 

Flowers I can do without
I don't wanna be tied down
White material will stain
My pocket knife's gotta shiny blade
I'm not trying to cause a fuss
I just wanna make my own fuck-ups
I'm not trying to break your heart
I'm just trying not to fall apart...

5. Dingus Khan - Knifey Spoon

A spiky indie track I got into because Lamacq kept playing it on 6Music. The video is mental.

I couldn't find a knife so I had to use a spoon...

4. Dire Straits - Six Blade Knife

My shameless middle-aged sojourn into Dad-Rock continues. Dire Straits are another band who, like Steely Dan, I'd only listened to in Greatest Hits form until very recently. Now I can't get enough of them.

This, from their eponymous 1978 debut album is SEX + DEATH = ROCK 'N' ROLL. (Honest.)

3. Aztec Camera - Knife

Over 9 minutes in length - that's one long knife!

And the knife has got my number,
And the number that you keep,
And the knife has called division,
And it's drawn when I'm asleep.

2. The Long Blondes - A Knife For The Girls

Every time I play a Long Blondes track on this blog, it is customary for me to bemoan their untimely passing. One listen to this creepy little bedsit stalker anthem will prove why...

1. Louis Armstrong - Mack The Knife 

Like it could have been anything else.

Written by Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brech (the original German title is "Die Moritat von Mackie Messer"... which doesn't trip off the tongue quite as smoothly) and recorded by everybody from Frank to Bobby Darin to Sting and Robbie Williams... but Louis' version is the definitive one for me.

This one's for Sukie Tawdry...




Those were my knives... but which one is stuck in your back?