Showing posts with label Dire Straits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dire Straits. Show all posts

Sunday, 2 March 2025

Snapshots #385: Twelve Newspaper Songs

I read the news today... oh boy!

Hear all about it below...


12. No longer a choking hazard.

He used to be a Strangler, but he's alright now.

Hugh Cornwell - Stuck In Daily Mail Land

11. What did you do in art class yesterday? I sketched a small mountain...

You drew a hill?

Dru Hill - These Are The Times

10. All you do to me is...

Lyrics from their eponymous single: "All you do to me is... talk talk."

Talk Talk - Today

Remember Today? Eddie Shah? The newspaper revolution? 

9. Go on. You know you want to. Give it a go. You'll love it.

The Persuasions - The Sun

8. AR-15, M-16, AK-47.

The Rifles - She's Got Standards

7. Direct train to Sheffield.

S'Express - Theme from S'Express

6. Tidier Tsars re-establish order.

"Tidier Tsars" was an anagram.

Dire Straits - Telegraph Road

5. Michael Stipe's lot judged "not bad" by muddy deposits at the mouth of a river.

Muddy deposits at the mouth of a river create a Delta. Good REM?

Delta Goodrem - The Guardian

4. Choosing shades in the detective agency.

Pinkertons were the detective agency in the Wild West.

Pinkerton's Assorted Colours - Mirror Mirror

3. The Munch Bunch. 

Edvard Munch painted The Scream.

Primal Scream - Star

2. O'Connor was a small baby.

Des? Tiny Child!

Destiny's Child - Independent Women

1. Stuck, and sticky.

The Jam - News Of The World

Written and sung by Bruce Foxton. RIP, Rick. 


That's all the news that's fit to print today. But another edition will hit the streets next Saturday - don't miss it!

Sunday, 20 October 2024

Snapshots #366: A Top Ten Songs About The Working Week




It can be hard, getting through the working week.

Here are ten songs to ease the pain...


10. Not the home of dance culture since 1991.

Before the Ministry of Sound started laying down banging club anfems, these guys made a preferable noise (to my aging ears, anyway)...

Ministry Of Sound - White Collar Worker

He's got such a lot to do
But it's such a bore

9. A net for catching sleepy letters.

Fischer Z - The Worker

Always kiss the wife goodbye
Often wonder why
At seven in the morning?
Think it's time for a change
Wouldn't that be strange
What a waste of time

8. 6 o'clock, 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock... they can choose when they go on. 

6 o'clock News, 9 o'clock News, 10 o'clock News... with Huey as the headline.

Huey Lewis & The News - Workin' For A Living

Somedays won't end ever
And somedays pass on be I'll be working here forever,
At least until I die, dammed if you do, dammed if you don't
I'm supposed to get a raise week, you know damn well I won't.

7. Artists ride free around here.

"Artists ride" was an anagram...

Dire Straits - Money For Nothing

We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs

6. Strike a pose...


Up every morning just to keep a job 
I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob 
Sounds of the city pounding in my brain 
While another day goes down the drain

Of course, the Julian Cope version is better, but that's not their fault. 

5. Did you hear a loud bang!? Leslie Nielsen must be shooting his Naked Gun inside. 

Bang Leslie... 

The Bangles - Manic Monday

Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an aeroplane, I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train, but the boss is already there

4. A slippery line of seats.

Skid Row - Slave To The Grind

You got me forced to crack my lids in two
I'm still stuck inside this rubber room
I gotta punch the clock that leads the blind
I'm just another gear in the assembly line

3. A beautiful French hive.

In French, their name means beautiful hive. (According to Google Translate, anyway. Ernie may tell us different.)

Belleruche - Clockwatching

Your dues have long been paid
Too many times, too many times, too many times

2. A keen shilling.

Bob's eager!

Bob Seger - Feel Like A Number

I work my back till it's racked with pain
The boss can't even recall my name
I show up late and I'm docked
It never fails

1. This lady never seems to last as long as she used to. 


Summer's over far too soon these days.

Donna Summer - She Works Hard For The Money


And in case you were thinking, "Why didn't he include...?", I'll have a few more of these for you tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Snapshots will be back next Saturday.

Sunday, 12 February 2023

Snapshots #279: A Top Ten Skating Songs

This week's clues led to ten songs about skating - on rollerskates, ice skates, maybe even a skateboard. Here are the answers...


10. Not entirely tone deaf.

The Deftones - Rocket Skates

9. Slow cherry.

Anagram!

Sheryl Crow - Roller Skate

8. Inside the house, little minx sees all.

...little mINX Sees all.

INXS - Roller Skating

7. French vineyard for fools.

Vineyard in French is La Vigne. April is the month for Fools, Avril in French.

Avril Lavigne - Sk8ter Boi

No marks for spelling.

6. Loverboy gets sad.

Billy Ocean sang Loverboy... then got blue.

The Ocean Blue - Ice Skating At Night

5. The worst way to travel between seas.

On the dire straits...

Dire Straits - Skateaway

4. Napoleon Solo rolls up his trouser leg.

Napoleon Solo was played by Robert Vaughn. I don't think he was a Mason.

Vaughan Mason & Crew - Roller Skate

Or even...

Vaughan Mason & Crew - Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll

3. Andrew hated elks.

Anagram!

Kathleen Edwards - Hockey Skates

2. This Mr. Trotter was more than just a plonker.

Del was a bit of an a-soul.

De La Soul - A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays 

1. A great bond links Steve & Frankie.

Roger was a great Bond. Frankie and Steve are both Millers.

1. Roger Miller - You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd


Get your skates on - there'll be more Snapshots next Saturday.

Sunday, 10 April 2022

Snapshots #235: A Top Ten Shakespeare Songs

Is this a dagger I see before me? No, it's the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots. Ten songs named after some of William Shakespeare's finest plays...


10. I'm Ross Rye.

Anagram - and a slight misreading of the play...

Morrissey - King Leer

9. Malfoy.

Harry Potter fans will know that Malfoy's first name was Lucius.

Lucius - (The) Tempest

8. The first man has gotta have it.

Adam was the first man. And you gotta have Faith

Adam Faith - As You Like It

7. Mafia Moggie.

The Mafia is the Family. A moggie is a cat.

The Family Cat - Hamlet For Now

6. Hello, this is Phil. Or Grant.

Hello, this is Joanie.

Phil & Grant Mitchell. (Bear in mind that I haven't watched Eastenders in at least 30 years.)

Joni Mitchell - A Midsummer Night's Dream

Quite a rarity that, but it's a lovely little tune.

5. Curly cabbage.

Curly kale, I was thinking of.

John Cale - Macbeth

4. Yes, sex is important. But it's not everything.

David Essex - A Winter's Tale

Out of season, but still applicable.

3. Roman General wins two points.

One point for title, one for artist.

Titus Andronicus - Richard II Or Extraordinary Popular Dimensions And The Madness Of Crowds (Responsible Hate Anthem)

2. Sparse rugs.

Anagram!

Supergrass - Richard III

1. Are you attired, Sir?

"Attired, Sir" was another anagram.

Great song. Terrible video, in which they choose to represent the lyrics literally, from exploding die to gold and silver chains. Clearly directed by a 6th Former.

Dire Straits - Romeo & Juliet

To be or not to be more Snapshots? That is the question that will be answered next Saturday.

Tuesday, 31 August 2021

Conversations With Ben #18: Pronouns


Rol: I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but The Evil Workplace is now telling everyone to include their pronouns on their email signature. Tell me why this isn't utter bollocks and I promise not to argue... too much.

Ben: You have mentioned it before, and by forcing people to so it, they are grossly missing the point of it. As someone who is straight and identifying with the gender we were born with, I am in a position of luxury to really not give a shit what people label me as. However there are those for whom this is a big deal and the misgendering of them is a painful reminder of the structures that deny them their identity. By forcing everyone to do it, it brings it to the fore and highlights it as never before.

OK, but if the only people who do it are people who need to do it (i.e. transgender folk), then surely that just highlights their difference?

Well, that's the interesting thing: no.

There's landmark research on the history of sexuality and particularly anything that's not vanilla, lay back and think of England sex.

And the Victorians, despite being so prudish, were the ones that spread sexual deviance (deviance as in deviation from the vanilla) because of their strict approach to it.

It's no mistake that teen pregnancy rises during periods of proposed abstinence and lack of sex ed.

By forcing it, there is often a reaction that is negative which can have a drastically bad impact.

So you get the alt-right joke of "I associate as an attack helicopter".

And the false belief that "they are trying to take over and convert everyone" when the policies are introduced by what we'd term white knights.

Bloody do-gooders. Meddling!

But really, at the core of it is the fact that for the first time in history, this group of marginalised people are within reach of being recognised in a way that doesn't make them feel like an unnatural aberration. I don't give a shit what pronouns you use for me, I'm not precious, but I will defend to the end the right of my colleagues and fellow human beings to offer a simple way to say 'hey, in my heart of hearts, I'm not really a girl, so please don't call me those pronouns as it makes me feel uncomfortable' or 'hey, I'm kinda confused because I don't really feel like I'm male or female and we have to think about the world in such binary terms, can you just refer to me with ungendered pronouns?'

Fair enough. I don't disagree with any of that if it's coming from the individual in question. It becomes a matter of personal choice. But I still think there should be a better non-binary pronoun than they or them, because to me, that's akin to saying "that lot". I know they've tried to come up with alternatives, but none of them seem to catch on... possibly because they all sound a bit sci fi. (Xe, Ze)

And as an English teacher you should appreciate how unfathomable it is to be in a position with language where we're trying to force something new to accommodate this group. Language doesn't work like that, it naturally evolves. So a third person pronoun is the best we have without it sounding incredulous like you say.

Yes, but I also know the power of inference. And "them" is the most inference-packed pronoun.

Maybe so, but it's also the rare ones in our language that isn't gendered. So it's functional rather than preferential.

Maybe all pronouns are inference-packed. "Who's she? The cat's mother?"

That's it. But they/them is more natural than forcing xe etc.

But returning to your original question: forcing everyone to put their preferred pronouns in their signature is akin to saying All Lives Matter, even if there's a more positive intention.

If people wish to ally and do want to put theirs in if they are cisgender, then cool. But making it the necessary base is wrong.

I think it's this sort of forced pc-ness that has led to the rise of Incels, the strengthening of the extreme right, and Tom Hanks's son.

The Incel thing is a massively complex thing. I think you're right in the sense that its a final break point for them, but a great deal of it is the loss of the traditional (I say traditional but really it's a 20th century invention) role of masculinity. 

"I go get a stable 9-5 job. I quit Friday. I walk into a new one Monday morning. Sorted. I get a girl at 18 because it's what's done. House bought and paid for and settle down." 

Now that world of work hasn't existed for a while. That, compounded with the ideology of the alpha male on the right, leads them to become very bitter and kick out.

But now they've got a label. I was involuntarily celibate for most of my 20s. I didn't self-identify as an incel. I was just a loser.

But the key thing with an Incel is that "it's everyone's fault but mine".

Oh. I wasn't an incel then. I knew it was my fault I was a loser. Still do.

I've had Eagle Rock by Daddy Cool in my head for about a week now.

Not Daddy Cool by Boney M?

Nah. I'm all disco'd out. I went on a massive Parliament and Funkadelic binge a few weeks ago. All I listened to from waking up til end of work. For about 8 days.

I wouldn't really class that as disco.

That funky jive stuff.

This week's quiz includes... John Grant, Saint Etienne, Hoodoo Gurus, Madness, Waterboys, Drive-By Truckers, Lady Gaga and the Eagles.

Link?

They're all fans of the song Eagle Rock by Daddy Cool.

Apart from that.

What's the Eagles song? I make a point of never listening to them. Just give me Jackson Browne instead.

James Dean

Ahh... Even their song titles are unimaginative.

I'll only allow you to diss the Eagles because the Dude hates them too.

The Eagles are very close to muzak.

Once again, you are displaying your ignorance.

Even when given great songs by Mr Waits and Browne, they somehow manage to make it less interesting than Dulux Vanilla Burst.

It's cool to dump on the Eagles in the same way it was cool to dump on Dire Straits. People hate them because they were successful.

Dire Straights are great. Knopfler is a brilliant guitarist.

Some joiners use an Eagles record as a spirit level due to how MoR it is.

That doesn't even make sense. Why would a spirit level be in the middle of the road?

The joke is in there somewhere.

Needs more work.

I'll give it to a comedian one day.

I won't have a word said against Don Henley.

And Joe Walsh ran for president, against Reagan. That alone makes the Eagles cool.

Still a shit band.

Philistine.

It's spelt Palestine.

I've told you. There are only two truly shit bands. Everyone else deserves a listen.

Coldplay

And Oasis.

OK, three.

Although to be fair, I saw Coldplay live, very early in their career, when they were supporting Muse (free tickets) and they were far more entertaining than the main act.

I broke up with a girl at uni because she said Coldplay were her favourite band. I'm not that fussed about music choices, but when you say that, it's either that you despise music or you have no interest in it. Either way, incompatible with me.

You still haven't identified my Number 1 irredeemable shit band.

Mr Blobby?

The Tweenies?

I'd rather listen to either of them than this lot.

Is it a band from the landfill indie era?

No. It's the biggest band in the world ever. (Not the Beatles.)

Are you sure it's not The Eagles?

I can't believe this is so difficult for you.

Well, I know Shakira is one of the best selling artists of all time...

Their lead singer is an *expletive deleted*.

The Smiths?

Jesus.

As in, he thinks he is.

The Jesus & Mary Chain?

You are doing this on purpose now to wind me up.

Am I?

You know perfectly well who I'm talking about.

...I sometimes have nightmares about that video where The Edge has feet in his face. And Bono leans in to whisper sweet nothings in his ear...

I try to never watch their videos. Or listen to their songs.

It was during the Zooropa period, which was a low, even for them.



Sunday, 8 August 2021

Snapshots #201: A Top Ten Swimming Pool Songs


I hope you're all wearing your swimming costumes for today's Top Ten. 

Time to dive in to the answers...



10. Most of Henry's wives like garlic germ.


Henry was married to 3 Catherines and 2 Annes.

"Garlic germ" was an anagram.


9. What sharks smell.



8. Pain relief.



7. Stuart has very Little ego.


Stuart Little was a mouse, and at modest one at that.


(Because if you can't swim very well, you need your floats on!)

(And yes, he does look a little too much like Timmy Mallet in that picture.)

6. Spencer sends Thunder God north.


Spencer Tracy + Thor N.


5. Red satirist.


Anagram!


4. Squeeze through the middle.



3. Greetings, sweetie.



2. Sleepy state.



Not strictly in a swimming pool, I guess, but they could have been.

1. CBS gags Oz!


Anagram!

And a Lido is an open air swimming pool, of course.




Time to dry off, but you're welcome to take a dip again next Saturday...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...