Time for another name-based Top Ten, dedicated to Laura Marling, Laura Viers, Laura Cantrell, Laura Mvula, Laura Nyro and any other famous musical Lauras I've forgotten.
It's weird - I've been doing Top Tens on this particular blog for going on 4 years now, and yet only four of the artists I feature this week have appeared here before. My record collection is getting out of hand.
With Twin Peaks soon to return to our screens (hopefully with David Lynch still on board), it seems an appropriate time to listen to this noise again... but it's not the only song on this list that owes its inspiration to Sheryl Lee's infamous dead prom queen. Remember: the owls are not what they seem.
Surely the most recorded song with Laura in its title, this was originally written for the 1945 movie of the same name starring Gene Tierney. So if I've got versions by Frank, Ella and Charlie Parker to choose from, it seems rather perverse to choose a recent recording by the Family Guy guy and Father of Ted. What can I say? Call me weird.
Billy does his best angry John Lennon impression, right down to the sweary stuff. As to who this particular Laura was that got him so upset... let's ask Billy himself.
I've reached the age where I look upon many of the popular acts of the day (Bastille, Hozier, George Ezra) with curiosity. Not because I don't appreciate their work; they've each produced some excellent records. However, much as I may admire their music, there's a sense where I know they're not written for me, that I'll never fall in love with them in quite the same way I did the pop acts of my teens and twenties. And maybe I shouldn't. Maybe that's contrary to the laws of pop.
Anyway, Laura Palmer. Good song... although I have to wonder how old Dan Smith was when Laura first got wrapped in plastic on our TV screens. Was he even born?
Yeah, that's the real problem with contemporary pop music. It makes me feel old even when I enjoy it.
It's always good to see artists become successful later in life rather than in their teens or 20s when it's as easy as taking your clothes off or punching the drummer. Gregory Porter is just a few months older than me, yet he's only been releasing music since 2010. His third album, Liquid Spirit, has received all kinds of accolades, and Hey Laura is one of its standout tracks. Those in the know describe Porter's music as jazz, but to me it sounds like classic soul: you know, the sort they don't make anymore...
Classic teenage tragedy track from 1960, when dead teenagers sold more records than just about any other subject; this was re-recorded in the UK by Welsh singer Ricky Valance who took it all the way to Number One. Although Valance has the more rock 'n' roll name, Peterson's version just wins out for me.
Something else I've said here before: it's high time someone revived the teenage tragedy genre. The pop charts are crying out for it.
Natasha Khan's finest hour. And hours of internet research went into trying to find out who it was about. Various websites suggest another Laura Palmer tribute, but BFL herself says it's just some anonymous mate, although that we're all, like, entitled to interpret it however we want. So if you know a Laura, it's about her... and she's more than a superstar.
1. The Scissor Sisters - Laura
Whenever I think about the genesis of the Scissor Sisters, I always wonder if some A&R bloke was on his way home from a B52s gig thinking "they were good...but not quite camp enough". Then he got some mad scientist to cobble together these guys, a band whose original name was "Dead Lesbian" (if Iffypedia is to be believed).
Laura was their first hit (in the UK at least: they never enjoyed much chart success in their native US) and it remains my scuzzy favourite.
Those were my favourite Lauras... but which one would you take to the prom?
As Martin pointed out, my Top Ten Hot Summer Songs was quite an all-encompassing topic for me, hence why I was barely able to scrape the surface of all the great summer songs in my collection. Here then, in an effort to narrow the field, are ten great songs with "Summertime" in the title...
I've told you before, if you're going to name your band "Girls", don't expect anybody to find you on google... even if you do get Jim Jarmusch to direct your video. (In Iceland. Hardly the most summery of locations, Jim.)
As I already gave Eddie Cochran pride of place in my Top Ten Hot Summer Songs, here's a somewhat rowdier version from the other side of the pond: Live at Leeds, to be precise.
And it's you I need in the summertime
As I turn my white skin red
Two peas from the same pod, yes, we are
Or have I read too much fiction?
Is this how it happens?
1. Fun Boy Three - Summertime
According
to Iffypedia, there are over 25,000 recorded versions of this song,
originally written by Gershwin for the musical Porgy & Bess. I can't
claim to have listened to them all, but I do own fine versions by Sarah
Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Sam Cooke, Janis Joplin, Paul Robeson and Nick Drake (among others).
Fish are jumpin' And the cotton is high Your daddy's rich And your momma's good-looking...
Why choose this early 80s reggae-lite version from Terry Hall and chums out of all those? I think it was Terry's hairdo... and the hay bales, hammock and hi-jinks of the video.
Those were my favourite summertime songs. I know there is one glaring omission, but I'm saving it for another list. (And I'm waiting for the Sabrina fans to come out of the woodwork...)
Kid Rock wipes his bottom with Radiohead toilet paper. (See the edited-for-language, sorry, video.) For that reason alone, he squeezes into the Top Ten.
Thanks again to Rob for this one. Actually, SMF doesn't stand for what you think it does. Well, the M does (with an -ing on the end). The S and F stand for Sick and Friends, disrespectfully.
Amazed to find this on youtube... not because of the naughty word, but because Prince hates youtube. The full length video does take about three weeks to get going though.
From
his new album, Pale Green Ghosts, already a contender for the best
record I've heard this year. Besides this, one of the other tracks is
called Ernest Borgnine... WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?
Half of the time I think I'm in some movie,
I play the underdog, of course. I wonder who they'll get to play me? Maybe they could dig up Richard Burton's corpse.
Buy this record and... you could be laughing 65% more of the time.
Sadly, the video version replaces all the naughty words with donkey sfx. Thankfully, someone's uploaded a version that doesn't...
Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine
Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo, always stroking my own wookie
I'm the root of all that's evil, yeah, but you can call me cookie
Martha's heartbreaking tribute to her dad, Loudon Wainwright III is the best thing she ever recorded... Loudon should be proud.
I will not pretend, I will not put on a smile I will not say I'm all right for you When all I wanted was to be good To do everythin' in truth To do everythin' in truth
You may (not) be surprised to learn I could easily have filled another ten... although some of them would have been so loud, they'd have made Twisted Sister sound like Sister Sledge.
