Snapshots Spillover: More Reasons To Call The Doctor!

The doctor will see you now!

If you ever think that some of the tracks I choose for Saturday Snapshots are a little on the obscure side... you should see the ones I leave out!

Here are a few more reasons to call your GP, starting with the original version of a song made into a hit by Robert Palmer...

Angie & the Citations - Headache

Girls - Vomit

Splodgenessabounds - Nausea Vomiting Diahorea

The Trashcan Sinatras - Hay Fever

Los Capesinos! - A Heat Rash in the Shape of the Show Me State; or, Letters from Me to Charlotte

We Were Promised Jetpacks - Sore Thumb

Galaxie 500 - Temperature's Rising

Reverend & The Makers - Warts N All

Guided By Voices - An Earful Of Wax

Killing Joke - I Am The Virus

Jeff Rosenstock - Nausea

(That one was from Ben.)

The Flaming Lips - Guy Who Got a Headache and Accidentally Saves the World

Take two paracetamol and call me in the morning.

Snapshots Spillover: More Olympic Sport Songs

Even with 20 tunes in this week's Snapshots, I couldn't cover all the different sporting events in the Olympic Games... so here are a few silver medals...

Townes Van Zandt - Talkin' Karate Blues

Ben Folds Five - Boxing

The Brazen Hussies - Climbing the Wall

The Beach Boys - Surfin'

The Wildwood - Swimming

Sufjan Stevens - Javelin

Mickey & The Soul Generation - Football

Trashcan Sinatras - Weightlifting

Heartless Bastards - Marathon

Paul Robeson - Canoe Song

The Godz - Cross Country

Air Traffic - Shooting Star

Even then, I couldn't find all the sports. Perhaps you can help, if you know any songs about shot put, luge, curling, pentathlon, discus, et al...

Snapshots #346: A Top Ten Exercise Songs

Here's Cindy Crawford: another celebrity who's made a packet out of her exercise videos.

And here are ten songs to exercise to...

10. That's a cheep demo, Ed... and it's badly mixed, too.

Remix "cheep demo, Ed" and you get...

Depeche Mode - Get the Balance Right

Ask someone who goes to the gym (like CC) to explain balance exercises, if you're unsure.

9. There's definitely one in Mississippi... and it sounds like there's another four.

Mississippi has quite a big delta... 

Delta 5 - Circuit

8. Whirlwind.

Curved Air - Stretch

7. Stop fannying about.

The Front Bottoms - Push Ups

6. Nothing too garish.

The Pastels - Yoga

It was either that, or this...

Elvis Presley - Yoga Is As Yoga Does

5. Layla twists cat into a different shape.

"Layla twists cat" was an anagram...

Stacy Lattisaw - Jump To The Beat

Aerobics, zumba, dancercise... all rolled into one.

4. A Dick, like Les.

Richard Dawson - Jogging

(Worth a click if you've never heard that before.)

3. Imagine if there was more than one Charity Chic!

Imagine a whole world of CCs!

CCS - Walking

Walking is very good exercise, I'll have you know.

2. There's a bin in My Way.

The Trash Can Sinatras - Weightlifting

1. Wow.

Wow was, of course, a song by the lady below. And our general reaction to her...

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill

If you've got any energy left, try these...

Morning Runner - Burning Benches

Underworld - Push Upstairs

Cracker - I Ride My Bike

The Associates - Skipping

Slightly more sedentary Snapshots next Saturday...

Snapshots #285: A Top Ten Geometry Songs

This week's Snapshots was specially for all the Maths teachers reading this... well, George.

10. Did you mix up the bait, mum?

"Bait, mum" was an anagram.

Geometric Term = Point

Matumbi - Point Of View

9. Oh what a night these guys had.

Oh What A Night was in December, 1963.

Geometric Term = Angles

The Decemberists - Of Angels & Angles

8. A bar... with a extra R.

A Mars Bar... with an extra R.

Geometric Term = Volume

M/A/R/R/S - Pump Up The Volume

7. He's Sly and... the US KLF, almost.

Sly & Robbie meets an angram.

Geometric Term = Parallel

Robbie Fulks - Parallel Bars

6. Jupiter, Mars, Vulcan, Krypton. 

They're all planets.

Geometric Term = Lines

The Planets - Lines

5. I wager she'll be somewhere near the centre.

I bet she's in the middle.

Geometric Term = Distance

Bette Midler - From A Distance

4. When a Hammer met a Rebel.

Jan Hammer meets James 'Rebel Without A Cause' Dean.

Geometric Term = Curve

Jan & Dean - Dead Man's Curve

3. Enough to make your but shake.

"But shake" was an anagram.

Geometric term = pi

Kate Bush - π

2. From chairman to binman.

The Chairman of the Board was Frank Sinatra. A bin man empties trashcans.

Geometric Term = Circumference

The Trashcan Sinatras - Circling The Circumference

1. Afterwards, we're off to watch Joshua fight.

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho. 

Geometric Term = Area

1. Then Jericho - Big Area

There'll be more Snapshots for you to work out next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #61 - The Answers

When it comes to Saturday Snapshots... Everything I Do, I Do For You.

Yesterday was pretty much a two-horse race between Charity Chic and Rigid Digit. By my calculations, RD snatched a half point victory. Well done to Chris for starting us off and C for mopping up. You guys definitely played it till your fingers bled...

Here are this week's answers. Please Forgive Me if I made any obvious mistakes.


10. Tiny tots love sweets, short marsupials wager.

A short marsupial would be a 'roo. That was having a bet.

The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

9. Frankly rubbish bench-pressing.

Frankly rubbish would go in a Sinatra trash-can.

The Trashcan Sinatras - Weight Lifting

8. Calydonian queen & summer kebab chase Billy Joel's Number One.

Althea was the queen of Calydon in Greek mythology.

Donna Summer. Doner kebab.

Bily Joel's Number One was Uptown Girl.

Number One is the top ranking.

Althea & Donna - Uptown Top Ranking

...and ting.

7. Van Gogh's DNA tells us his favourite Genesis song.

Vincent's genes say, "Mama!" (the Genesis song).

Gene Vincent - Say Mama

6. Spinach for breakfast, broccoli for lunch and cabbage for tea will make you go mental.

Spinach, broccoli & cabbage are all greens, so that would be a Green Day.

If you went mental, you would be a basket case.

Green Day - Basket Case

5. Dame loses id est listening to Kate Bush song twice; needs sweets after that.

The Dame was Bowie, minus ie would be Bow.

Kate Bush sang Wow. Twice would be Wow Wow.

Bow Wow Wow - I Want Candy

4. Timely hedge warden is proven wrong as winter arrives.

A hedge warden is a hayward, apparently. (That's called 'research'.)

Timely would be just in time, of course.

If winter arrived, then Autumn would be over, thus proving wrong the idea that Autumn might last forever.

Justin Hayward - Forever Autumn

3. A glum liar ran off with James Dean Bradfield.

"A glum liar ran" is an anagram.

James Dean Bradfield is a Manic.

Laura Marling - My Manic & I

2. Wogan will help with your puncture, but only in the summer.

Terry would need a jack to fix your puncture.

Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun

1. Neil Armstrong brings home the bacon.

With apologies to any officers who may be reading this nonsense.



It's obvious by now that we Can't Stop This Thing We Started, so Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Heaven!

My Top Ten Olympic Sport Songs

I've already covered running, jumping, gymnastics, swimming and cycling... here are a few songs about the remaining Olympic sports.

10. The Magic Theatre - Rowing Boat Love Song

If you were wondering whatever happened to Dan Popplewell and Sophia Churney of Ooberman, here's your answer... and it's quite, quite lovely.

9. MC Hammer - Can't Touch This

Stop.

Hammer time!

8. Slow Club - Horses Jumping

A song that covers a number of sporting disciplines, including swimming, sprint, pool and horses jumping... out of a boat. Don't ask me.

7. Heartless Bastards - Marathon

We're all racing for our own reasons

6. Beach Boys - Sail On, Sailor

If you were expecting Rod Stewart... isn't this so much better?

5. Operator Please - (Just A Song About) Ping Pong

Don't you know beef jerky has an aftertaste?

4. Prefab Sprout - I Never Play Basketball Now

After that last unholy row
I never, ever play basketball now.
It joins the list of things I'll miss
Like fencing foils and lovely girls I'll never kiss.

3. Julian Cope - Trampolene

No gold medal for Julian's spelling.

2. Trashcan Sinatras - Weightlifting

Pumping iron never sounded so beautiful.

1. Ben Folds Five - Boxing

Boxing's been good to him...



So... which one's your Olympian?