...with a collection of short stories compiled by Martin in aid of the Population Matters charity. A fine selection of tales that are guaranteed to keep you entertained... plus one by me you can happily skip over, especially as you may have read it here on this blog many moons ago.
Seriously though, I have to take this opportunity to thank Martin for giving me the one (and probably only) chance to see a story of mine anthologised in print. I've had plenty of stuff published online, but there's something very special about holding a paper copy of your work, especially when it's been judged worthy for inclusion among so many other clearly far more talented scribes than I.
You can buy a print copy - or download it digitally - from Amazon, should you wish. All proceeds go to a very worth cause.
Ten odes to the humble vacuum cleaner (and other Hoover-related thingamabobs). Unfortunately, I couldn't find any songs named after the Dyson. Sorry, Sir James.
Despite only ever having one UK hit (a punked up version of Nellie The Elephant, very popular in 80s school discos), The Toy Dolls are, surprisingly, still in the go and still releasing records. This year's is called Olgacoustic, presumably because lead singer Michael "Olga" Algar is busking on it. Their previous record surely had the best title ever though: The Album After The Last One.
One more, two more Fleas on the bedroom floor No ones ever seen her, with a vacuum cleaner Three more, four more Mice unite at the kitchen door It weren't no rotten rumour, He could never move her, And I never saw her with a hoover.
Alex Turner is a great lyricist, finding grubby romance in the everyday mundanity of old man's pubs, pick 'n' mix bags and late night taxi journeys. But here, he bows down to a true master, reworking John Cooper Clarke's poem of the same name...
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dustI wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust...
Before going on to a superlative solo career, Aimee Mann was the lead singer of synth-heavy 80s new wave band 'Til Tuesday. This is one of their best,but it's not as timeless as her later work.
A politically charged anthem from the mighty Christians... nothing to do with cleaning up your house, unless they're asking crooked politicians to do just that.
1. Elvis Costello - Hoover Factory
Elvis pays tribute to the distinctive Art Deco design of London's Hoover Building... now owned by Tesco.
I don't think I'll be compiling a Top Ten Tesco Songs anytime soon.
Five miles out of London on the Western Avenue
Must have been a wonder when it was brand new
Talkin' 'bout the splendour of the Hoover factory
I know that you'd agree if you had seen it too...
