Let's do another one of these, pitting I'm... songs against I'm Not songs. Will the ayes have it, or the nays?
10. The Blue Room - I'm Afraid vs. Skunk Anansie - I'm Not Afraid
The Blue Room song comes from the soundtrack to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which wins it enormous points. But I'm too afraid of Skin from Skunk Anansie to tell her she's a loser, so...
9. Van Halen - I'm The One vs. The Cars - I'm Not The One
Somebody get Eddie some plasters for his fingers. And a pat on the back too: I think he beats Mr. Ocasek here.
8. The Artistics - I'm Gonna Miss You vs. Glen Campbell - I'm Not Gonna Miss You
Lost Northern Soul belter versus late period Glen. I am going to miss you, Mr. Campbell, sir.
7. Hothouse Flowers - I'm Sorry vs. Morrissey - I'm Not Sorry
I'm Sorry, Moz... this one goes to the Flowers. Never mind, you'll get another chance in a moment.
Of course, the big problem with Morrissey is right there in the title of this song. He's not sorry. He's never sorry. If only he could be, just once...
6. Bobby Womack - I'm In Love vs. 10cc - I'm Not In Love
Listen to Bobby Womack's voice here!
Apologies to Stockport's finest, but big boys don't cry...
(Although that may be disputed later on in this countdown.)
5. The Beatles - I'm Down vs. The Clash - I'm Not Down
Tough one. Normally I'd let The Clash beat The Beatles because Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust... but I have a soft spot for early Lennon when he's prepared to shred his vocal chords as he does here. The Fabs take it.
4. Alice Cooper - I'm So Angry vs. Elvis Costello - I'm Not Angry
Bill Bixby used to tell us not to make him angry... we wouldn't like him when he's angry. We like Alice when he gets angry though... and I guess he's going to be angry at losing out to Elvis here, but it takes a lot to beat My Aim Is True.
3. Madonna - (Now) I'm Following You vs. Edwyn Collins - I'm Not Following You
There was a time when I'd have welcomed being followed by Aunty Madge... these days, I'd be quick to get a restraining order. (Warren Beatty duets with her here... he probably thought this song was about him.)
Edwyn, on the other hand, can follow me any time he likes.
2. Pulp - I'm A Man vs. Morrissey - I'm Not A Man
Manly Jarvis trumps wimpy Moz, providing his second beating of the day. It's enough to make a grown man cry! Speaking of which...
1. Tom Petty - I'm Crying vs. Flight of the Conchords - I'm Not Crying
No wonder Tom's crying - he's just been beaten by a couple of Kiwi comics...
And if I am crying
It's not because of you
It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine who you don't know who is dying
That's right, dying
These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a lasagna
For one!
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland...
I'm waiting for your suggestions...
