Celebrity Jukebox #67: Brigitte Bardot (Part 3)

OK, I realise this is a cheap way of filling blog posts on my first week back at work, but don't blame me - blame all these songwriters who were obsessed with the late Ms. B.

Last lot today, I promise. Though I did leave a load out... and probably missed a bunch too.

We'll start with a suggestion from The Swede, which I'm kicking myself I didn't remember...

Will Serge's own 'Initials BB' will be making an appearance?

And the reason I'm kicking myself? I'm a big fan of the Mick Harvey version...

On with the show... and I suppose we have to get this one out of the way...

The Bollock Brothers - Brigitte Bardot

Now let's move up to something with a bit more class.

I'm in love with Sophia Loren
I'm in love with Bridget Bardot
I'm in love with the whole dumb scene

The Psychedelic Furs - We Love You

Zig-zag, walk like Marilyn Monroe
Zig-zag, talk like Brigitte Bardot
No stone gonna be unturned
When you're out there, walkin' and a talkin'
Baby, doin' the Zig-Zag Walk

Foghat - Zig Zag Walk

You know what, you're a supersonic flight
A song by Lennon and McCartney
A Mohammed Ali fight
You're like Brigitte Bardot
No way Danny La Rue...
But most important of all
You are you

Gilbert O`Sullivan - You Are You

Marilyn, Sophia, Danny La Rue... who else might Brigitte get compared to?

She smiles like Richard Nixon
Walks like Brigitte Bardot
And I love her, but I can't trust her

The Bad Examples - She Smiles Like Richard Nixon

That's the problem with being an icon. You can choose your lyrical bedfellows. Still, given what C said about Brigitte's latter-day politics, maybe she'd appreciate spending time with Tricky Dicky?

Well you may not look like Brigitte Bardot
But you got rhythm in your big black toe

Colin Blunstone - Pay Me Later

That's got to be the weirdest lyric yet. Can Noddy beat that?

I get weird imaginin's about all different kinds of things, but I always try
To get fantasising thoughts, maybe Bardot in her shorts, like a natural guy
So I took a trip to Tutankhamen's tomb
He was alone and said he hoped I'd come back soon

Slade - I'm Mad

Of course he can.

Bobby boy's full of bravado
His girlfriend looks like Bridgette Bardot

You know, I wouldn't normally lower myself to the Menswear level, but credit where it's due - that's one of the better rhymes I've seen since starting this list.

Menswear - Stardust

Can anyone find a better rhyme for Bardot?

I should be raising the bar high, avoiding the bar low
I'll write a million songs for you as if I was Barlow
'Cause you're my Bridget Bardot, my precious cargo
I'm tryna speak my mind but I don't get very far though

Example - Millionaires

Alright, show-off. After that, let's go for a really basic one...

The first time that you saw Bardot
Inside you really glow
But I feel better than that
(I feel better than that)

Miles Kane - Better Than That

Lots of blokes squeezing her into their songs? What about a lady for a change?

Every time I see you, I see Paris in your eyes
A hint of the forbidden, Brigitte Bardot style
Every time I dream of you, I dream that distant land
Where I once held tomorrow in my hand

Janis Ian - Paris In Your Eyes

And another female perspective... from a male songwriter.

'Cause when I was a little girl, you'd dress me like Bardot
And the hallway'd become a catwalk, and you'd watch me go to the show
Said, "All the little girls were pretty, but I was pretty like fresh flowers"
I was a superhero, mama, with superpowers

Kevin Morby - US Mail

And to close - this really is the end of our Bardot tribute, I promise! - here's the theme to Eurotrash, by Francis Lai... and a certain Ms. Bardot.

Self-Help For Cynics #16: Great Responsibility

Grand Funk Railroad - Responsibility

With great power comes great responsibility. So goes the mantra by which our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man lives his life. It's a lesson he learned at a terrible cost. When Peter Parker first receives his spider powers, he treats sees them as a selfish opportunity to achieve fame and fortune. Why should he use them to help other people? 

Let’s be honest, I think most of us would do exactly what he did – look after ourselves first. And to a degree, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself. Self-preservation is hot-wired into our brain as its most important function, and that’s why the amygdala takes charge so often. The monkey brain is our protector.

Miles Kane - The Responsible

Peter’s lesson about responsibility comes when he has the chance to use his powers to stop an escaping criminal and doesn’t…

As you’re probably well aware, this act of selfishness comes back to bite him in a very big way when that same criminal later shoots his Uncle Ben dead in a bungled robbery attempt. After that, young Peter dedicates himself to using his powers to help others…

…and this is where the third of Dr. Jennifer Shannon’s three assumptions kicks in: Over-Responsibility”. Along with Fear of Uncertainty and Perfectionism, which we’ve looked at over the past couple of weeks, Over-Responsibility is another big stress-factor for our over-protective amygdala.

Barry White - Responsible

When we fall victim to Over-Responsibility, we put other people’s happiness and well-being above our own. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Don’t we do that automatically with people we love? Maybe… but if we end up resenting them for it, we need to think again. Or if we ourselves end up suffering in the process of helping someone else, couldn’t that be construed as counter-productive? In her book Don’t Feed The Monkey Mind, Dr. Shannon’ advises…

Bottom line: if taking care of your own needs is a casualty of taking care of others, you’re being over-responsible.

Benjamin Zephaniah - Responsible

The story of Spider-Man is not merely a metaphor for Responsibility – it’s also a warning about the dangers of Over-Responsibility. Peter Parker continues to disappoint friends, let down loved ones, lose jobs and fail to take care of his own well-being because he’s so obsessed with helping others. I’ve read stories where he’s taken this to an extreme, pushed himself to the point of mental and physical breakdown, trying to be Spider-Man 24/7. Just in case he’s not available that one time when he could have made the difference. And because Spidey is the one fictional character I relate to more than any other, maybe I end up acting a little Over-Responsible myself from time to time. 

Avi Buffalo - Can't Be Too Responsible

Dr. Shannon lists some of the problems that arise from an Over-Responsible mindset… and I reckon I could tick off a good few of them…

“…working harder than others (no), taking on other people’s problems (sometimes), poor self-care (trying to address that right here!), burnout (been there), constant worry and rumination about others (er…), giving advice to others to the point of pushing them away (probably not, because of the last item in this list), blaming yourself for things that are not your fault (definitely), difficulty setting limits (the fact that I’m not even sure what that means leads me to believe: yes), and difficulty with asserting yourself (undoubtedly).” 

Phew. I’m exhausted by the responsibility of simply reading that list. 

Buffalo Tom - My Responsibility

Apparently, one of the reasons we take on too much responsibility for others is that it’s a good way of being liked and loved. 

Of course someone’s going to like you if you go out of your way to help them. But they also may come to rely on you too much, to their detriment. This is a knife edge all parents walk on a daily basis. You are responsible for your child, but you’re also responsible for them developing into an independent human being who can look after themselves! Sometimes the most responsible thing you can do is let them take on their own responsibility.

Dolly Parton - Responsibility

I feel like it’s my responsibility to keep investigating this… but I also feel responsible for taking up too much of your time. One final word from Dr. Shannon then, and I’ll call this one a day…

“Over-responsible people have difficulty recognising what is within their control and what is not. Even when you have a strong personal stake in a conflict, if a solution is beyond your control, it is not your responsibility.”