Farewell also to Vivienne Westwood. You might argue she's not taking a snapshot in this picture... but she is driving a tank to David Cameron's house, so I think she wins.
Here are this week's answers... I would have said all the numbered streets were from New York, but at least one of them (Charles Wright's street) is from L.A. I checked, so you don't have to.
A Simon & Garfunkel song, obviously, but Paul appears here often enough. Also, this was the version that made the UK Top 40 back in 1967. With a very young Boris Johnson in the band...
I have to admit that when Jim in Dubai suggested a band called Seventeen to illustrate this week's edition of the Hot 100, I did wonder if he meant the Indonesian boy band.
Fortunately, he has a much better memory than me for bands long lost in the search engines of google...
Seventeen would, it turns out, grow up to become a little more famous as The Alarm.
Jim also suggested two other 17 bands, the first being an actual boy band... who were "alright" as boy bands go... although they did wear some ridiculous outfits.
I don't know if I should say this in a public forum frequented occasionally by those of the muso persuasion, but while I always appreciated the Sex Pistols for their comedy value... less so for their musical contributions, I'm afraid.
The Swede's next suggestion will definitely throw you down a hole in google if you start trying to find out more about them as I just did...
Brian wins prizes for the video. They wouldn't allow that these days. Although, to be honest, the woman in the video looks (thankfully) much older than 17, as most "teen" movie stars of the 80s actually were. Michael J. Fox was 24 in Back To The Future.
C seconded a couple of earlier suggestions, then offered up two fine ones of her own...
Rigid Digit was next to arrive, complaining that "Most of mine have gone again (my first vote is for Sex Pistols - Seventeen. The Regents in second place.) So what have I got left on me list?"
Seventeen has a proper emotional heft, capable of giving you a bit of bump and stopping you in your tracks (you meaning me I guess), there's something about the rising chords and Sharon's voice that goes hits the bullseye. The 80s production is what must have sounded familiar to me. I never thought that a song that seems to reference mid- 80s Springsteen would appeal to me so much. In the song Sharon addresses her seventeen year old self and her freedom/ naivety, wanting to warn her about what lies ahead and the poor decisions she'll make but still knowing that she has to go through it all. She also gets pissed off with her younger self who she thinks wouldn't fully like her as she is now, would think she's lost it or sold out or something similar. One of the lines goes 'I used to be free/ I used to be seventeen' and judging by the comments on Youtube it seems that the line and the sentiment affects those much older than that and those around that age equally. I'm eleven years older than Sharon, turn fifty in a few months, and this song definitely nails a feeling, a sense of the loss of youth and the pain of looking back. That's the literal definition of nostalgia isn't it? Nostalgia usually evokes a sentimental looking back, feelings of wistfulness, the rosy glow of the past. But it's literal translation involves looking back with feelings of sadness, of something lost and gone. I don't want to be a person who's nostalgic for being seventeen- there are other 'better' ages to be nostalgic about, it's an age where you're still not fully sure of yourself in a lot of ways, I certainly wasn't, and an age where you know so little despite being so sure you know so much- but this song really does push all those buttons.
Brian suggested this one, and for a while now I thought it would be my front-runner... but only because my memory is shot and I'd neglected to consider this week's winner. That said, I do think this is Ms. Nicks' finest moment... and not just as a solo artist.
The song was a big hit for Janis in the US in 1975, and although it never appeared in the UK charts, it soon became a staple of the airwaves. The song is about a girl who is somewhat of a social outcast in high school, and so it became a kind of anthem. She was inspired to write the single after reading a newspaper article about a young woman who believed her life would improve after a debutante ball, and her subsequent disappointment when it did not. All these years later nothing has changed, and with social media to muddy the waters, if anything, things have got worse. I remember the year my daughter and her friends turned 17 and were experiencing the kind of anxieties as recounted in the song. I got them to listen to this song, as I think it summed up how they were feeling. Many nights were spent bemoaning the fact they were not one of The Populars, that group of girls with “clear skinned smiles” who always seem to get the boy.
Not much I can add to that, except... this is a heartbreaker.
Sweet little sixteen next week... I shudder at the prospect.
No prizes for guessing that week 42 of our countdown would be illustrated by Level 42, though Walter did suggest Love Games as a less obvious song choice than Running With The Family or Lessons in Love.
Level 42 took their name from Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in which an enormous supercomputer called Deep Thought took 7.5 million years to work out "the meaning of life, the universe and everything". The answer it came up with was 42.
The songs my own giant super-computer (i.e. you guys) came up with for the number 42 were as follows...
C kicked us off with a certain lady whose measurements were 42-39-56 (I never understood lady's measurements, but very little imagination is needed here)...
It was Alyson, however, who raised the issue of 42nd Street, so certain I wouldn't be making a stop there this week. As she says...
Of course I know it's not going to be your pick, but the song 42nd Street has been around for nearly ninety years and was written by Harry Warren, who has been mentioned often over at my place as he certainly was prolific, and wrote many of the songs covered by other artists over the decades (I Only Have Eyes For You a favourite of mine). Also the Ruby Keeler story is one that never goes away, it just gets updated for a new generation.
Although Alyson is correct that the original 42nd Street song won't be this week's selection, I did find a number of other songs that stopped off on that particular thoroughfare, including...
One of those songs that could be applied to many, many situations over the years. Let's apply it to Brexit today, shall we?
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking Everybody knows that the captain lied Everybody got this broken feeling Like their father or their dog just died Everybody talking to their pockets Everybody wants a box of chocolates And a long-stem rose Everybody knows
Neil Hannon is so smitten that he's boring everybody to death with his lustful obsession. Brilliant.
I told all of my friends Again and again and again I drove them round the bend So now you’re my only friend I told the passers by I made a small boy cry And I’ll get through to you If it’s the last thing that I do
1. Gary Portnoy - Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Cheers was my favourite sitcom growing up. Its theme song, written by Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angelo still brings back warm memories from its first piano notes. Certain sitcoms succeed by fostering a mythical community everyone wants to be a part of: reminiscent yet far superior to our real life friendships. Cheers, for me, is the ultimate example of that and even its theme song contributes to the myth.
Everybody knows I missed some out. Which would you have included?
I've got 99 problems, but solving Saturday Snapshots ain't one of them. U Don't Know all the answers? It's a hard knock life, but here they are...
(A very evenly spread game, with Rigid Digit stealing a win by half a point as of 9pm last night... although #10 and 5 were still to play for at that point.)
A bunch of crazy scientists recently named the giant prehistoric crocodile pictured above after Lemmy. "The nastiest sea creature to ever inhabit the earth", fossils of which were recently discovered, will now forever be known as the Lemmysuchus.
Here's ten more crocodile rockers...some of them very, very scary indeed.
OK, come on then: whose bright idea was it to let Jimmy Nail be a pop star? I mean, Jimmy Nail! And let's not forget, Jimmy Nail didn't just get into the charts: he got to Number One! That said, I will go down fighting to defend Ain't No Doubt (co-written by the aforementioned Charlie 'Pilot of the Airwaves' Dore... see, I don't just throw this blog together, etc. etc.).
Crocodile Shoes though? No, it's rubbish.
Still, the video does feature pantomine horses, and Jimmy's Crocodile Shoes literally cry too... so there's that.
I'm not sure I understand Maths rock. (Attention: there is an s on Maths. I'm not calling it Math Rock, because that would be stupid.) I'm an English teacher.
This is from a record called Animals, on which all the tracks are named after different... erm, Animals. Track 1 is Chinchilla. Track 7 is Elk. Track 3 is Lemur. Track 9 is Gibbon. Track 5 is Quetzal. (No, me neither.) How very 6th Form.
Not the Hollies' finest hour, but a hell of a lot better than Wiggle That Wotsit. That's scarier than any crocodile.(Don't click the link. You will be scarred for life.)
Jimmy Nail will be pleased to hear that the Bunnymen far prefer crocodile shoes to ones made out of alligator. If there's one thing I understand about the lyrics to this song, it's that.
A song about false friends stabbing you in the back, and it's not even by Morrissey. Can't understand how Martin Stephenson wasn't a bigger star. He even name-drops our Number One artist in he lyrics...
In a house full of fairday fakes Where the next-day neighbour makes the cakes With Elton John records playing loud upstairs It could be just the time to strike I'll be casual and ask about A will that could be mine throughout An opportunist you might think
but I have to earn my brass
1. Elton John - Crocodile Rock
Do you remember when rock was young? Do you remember when Elton was young? Do you remember when he was good? Really good? So good, he shamelessly filched bits of Chris Montez's Let's Dance and Pat Boone's Speedy Gonzales to cobble together of the best throwaway pop songs / rock 'n' roll throwbacks of the 70s.
Oh Lawdy, mama, those Friday nights When Suzie wore her dresses tight And the Crocodile Rocking was out of sight
This just in from The Department of Making You Feel Old: Elton John doing a tribute song to the early days of rock 'n' roll in 1972 is the equivalent of me doing a tribute to the second Coldplay album today. Not that I'm comparing the early days of rock to A Rush Of Blood To The Head since it's clear that one of those changed life as we know it on the planet earth and the other one proved Chris Martin couldn't even write a better song than Yellow, but still... time, y'know. Time.
Which one would you snap up?
(By the way, Alligator fans, don't feel left out... your time will come.)
Almost as soon as I posted Volume 1, my old friend Sally started protesting on Facebook. I'm sure she won't mind if I share her rant with you all now...
"Rol.
Rol. Rol, Rol, Rol, Rol, Rol, Rol, Rol, Rol... Where are all the
tear-streaked, self-hating women you introduced me to? What of Not
Pretty Enough? Footsteps Fall? Bloody Mother-Fucking Asshole? Maybe
that's not strictly self pity, but it sure felt like it to me. If you do
this again it should feature the mascara-streaked, the unnoticed
despite hours of prep, the gin-soaked, the Laydeez"
Well, who am I to refuse such a heartfelt plea? And yes, Sally was right: I was remiss in making Volume 1 all about miserable fellas. (Although I had forgotten just how much I used to share the misery with anyone and everyone way back when Sally and I worked in the same office.) And so, to redress the balance...
The thing about mining a rich seam like self-pity is that way down at Number Nine you'll find songs which would have been Number One on any other Top Ten. There's a brutal simplicity to Lucinda Williams' lyrics here, each line repeated over and over to hammer home the point...
Heavy blankets Heavy blankets Heavy blankets Cover lonely girls
But the kicker comes at the end when Lucinda reveals: she knows of what she writes.
Whenever I listen to the Carpenters, I'm reminded of John Cusack's opening monologue to High Fidelity... what came first: the music or the misery? Makes you wonder about poor, tragic Karen...
I'll say goodbye to love No one ever cared if I should live or die Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by And all I know of love Is how to live without it I just can't seem to find it
So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone And though it's not the easy way I guess I've always known I'd say goodbye to love...
I'll admit, when Sally suggested this one, I wasn't sure it fit the criteria. The titular "hero" is Loudon Wainwright III, and on the surface this is just Martha's semi-tongue-in-cheek attack on her father's longstanding habit of writing extremely autobiographical (if highly amusing) songs about his family... though frankly, Martha got off light compared to Rufus. But when you delve a bit deeper, it is gloriously miserable in its own way, and despite being one of her earliest songs, it might be Martha's finest hour.
And you have no idea
No idea how it feels to be on your own In your own home With the fucking phone And the mother of gloom In your bedroom Standing over your head With her hand in your head With her hand in your head
I will not pretend I will not put on a smile I will not say I'm all right for you When all I wanted was to be good To do everything in truth To do everything in truth
Now here's someone who really has a reason to feel self-pity. The sequel to the equally spectacular Love Child, here we find Ross's self-hating heroine moving away from home to escape the shame of being born in poverty to a "slum mum"... only to drown in guilt when that deserted and disowned mother dies lonely and heartbroken while her daughter parades around university pretending to come from a wealthy family.
Got a telegram
Mama passed away while making home made jam
before she died she cried to see me by her side
She always did her best
Ah cooked and cleaned and always in the same old dress
Working hard, down on her knees
Always trying to please
Mama, mama, mama can you hear me?
Mama, mama, mama can you hear me?
I'm living in shame
Mama, I miss you
I know you've done your best
Mama, I miss you
This song utterly destroys me. In a very good way.
I was going to disqualify this on the basis that it's written by two blokes (John Moore and Luke Haines), but then I realised it's not the only song like that in this list. Besides, it's the performance that matters, and Sarah Nixey makes this her own.
There is no creature in the known universe more well-versed in the fine art of self-pity than your average teenager, and our Top Three today demonstrates that perfectly with three slightly-older ladies turning to their teenage selves for devastating inspiration. Here Kasey Chambers turns romantic desperation into an artform, and then wonders...
Why do you see right through me?
That said, she's a novice when compared to the all-time champion of channeling teenage angst into a pop song...
At Seventeen may well have been written about the horrors of being a teenage girl... but sadly, most of the lyrics recall my own teenage woe with clinical precision...
To those of us who knew the pain Of valentines that never came And those whose names were never called When choosing sides for basketball It was long ago and far away The world was younger than today When dreams were all they gave for free To ugly duckling girls like me
1. The Shangri-Las - Past, Present And Future
Melodrama on a supremely epic scale was the Shangri-Las' stock in trade, and they certainly turned it up to 11 on this 1966 ode to joylessness. Set to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, it sticks a dagger into teenage heartbreak unlike any other record you'll ever hear. Sublime.
No surprise to find both Morrissey & Marr were fans...
That's Volume 2 out of the way. I hope you realise this series could run and run. Especially if you keep encouraging me. Misery does love company...
