Mid-Life Crisis Songs #110: The End of Enthusiasm

The Wedding Present - Larry's

This isn’t a post about TV, it’s another post about the passing of time and all its sickening crimes… perhaps the one lyric I come back to more than any other on this blog, with the possible exception of “Someday we’ll look back in this and it will all seem funny”. Or “Irk the purists”. 

I watched the final episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm last week. You may or may not be familiar with the show in which Seinfeld co-creator Larry David plays himself as a miserable old misanthrope constantly butting heads with societal niggles. Like most comedy shows, you’ll either connect with it immediately or wonder what all the fuss is about. Being a miserable old misanthrope myself, I have found Larry a wonderful companion for the show’s duration, and while I don’t always agree with his grievances, I do understand why he gets so worked up about them. 

Dean Friedman - Hey, Larry

But this isn’t a post about Curb Your Enthusiasm. I wouldn’t argue with anyone who said the show was long past its best and wasn’t as funny or as incisive as it once was. After 12 seasons, Curb had definitely become comfortable, but there’s a lot to be said for comfort TV, and I did so enjoy being invited to share in the ups and downs of Larry’s life… especially when you never knew which celebrity guest star was going to pop up to be offended by him next. Bruce Springsteen appeared three times in the final series… that in itself made my day.

Del Shannon - Hats Off To Larry

12 series though… I’ve watched this show for quite some time. And I knew that wasn’t a series a year, because Larry took regular breaks, especially during the pandemic.  Still, I was shocked when I looked back and discovered the first series ran 24 years ago! Hang on a minute… I’ve been watching this show for 24 years? 

Buffalo Tom - Larry

And suddenly, I was taken back to the year 2000. Where I was. Who I was. A completely different person. There’s a popular misconception that all the cells in the human body renew themselves every 7 years, and while that’s not 100% true, there is something in it. I was 28 years old when I started watching Curb. I lived in a different house, worked in a different job, had an entirely different social circle. Liked slightly different records, felt different emotions, saw the future… and the past… in an entirely different way. Somewhat ironically, when the show launched in 2000, Larry David was 52. The same age I am now. I’m not sure why I related to him so much as a 28 year old. In the final episode, he proudly announced that he was 76 year olds… and had never learned a lesson in his life. It made me wonder how many I’ve learned… and how 76 year old me will feel in another 24 years. 2000 doesn’t seem that long ago, and time gets faster every year. 2048 is just around the corner… 

And the days went by like paper in the wind

Everything changed, then changed again

It's hard to find a friend

It's hard to find a friend

Self-Help For Cynics #16: Great Responsibility

Grand Funk Railroad - Responsibility

With great power comes great responsibility. So goes the mantra by which our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man lives his life. It's a lesson he learned at a terrible cost. When Peter Parker first receives his spider powers, he treats sees them as a selfish opportunity to achieve fame and fortune. Why should he use them to help other people? 

Let’s be honest, I think most of us would do exactly what he did – look after ourselves first. And to a degree, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself. Self-preservation is hot-wired into our brain as its most important function, and that’s why the amygdala takes charge so often. The monkey brain is our protector.

Miles Kane - The Responsible

Peter’s lesson about responsibility comes when he has the chance to use his powers to stop an escaping criminal and doesn’t…

As you’re probably well aware, this act of selfishness comes back to bite him in a very big way when that same criminal later shoots his Uncle Ben dead in a bungled robbery attempt. After that, young Peter dedicates himself to using his powers to help others…

…and this is where the third of Dr. Jennifer Shannon’s three assumptions kicks in: Over-Responsibility”. Along with Fear of Uncertainty and Perfectionism, which we’ve looked at over the past couple of weeks, Over-Responsibility is another big stress-factor for our over-protective amygdala.

Barry White - Responsible

When we fall victim to Over-Responsibility, we put other people’s happiness and well-being above our own. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Don’t we do that automatically with people we love? Maybe… but if we end up resenting them for it, we need to think again. Or if we ourselves end up suffering in the process of helping someone else, couldn’t that be construed as counter-productive? In her book Don’t Feed The Monkey Mind, Dr. Shannon’ advises…

Bottom line: if taking care of your own needs is a casualty of taking care of others, you’re being over-responsible.

Benjamin Zephaniah - Responsible

The story of Spider-Man is not merely a metaphor for Responsibility – it’s also a warning about the dangers of Over-Responsibility. Peter Parker continues to disappoint friends, let down loved ones, lose jobs and fail to take care of his own well-being because he’s so obsessed with helping others. I’ve read stories where he’s taken this to an extreme, pushed himself to the point of mental and physical breakdown, trying to be Spider-Man 24/7. Just in case he’s not available that one time when he could have made the difference. And because Spidey is the one fictional character I relate to more than any other, maybe I end up acting a little Over-Responsible myself from time to time. 

Avi Buffalo - Can't Be Too Responsible

Dr. Shannon lists some of the problems that arise from an Over-Responsible mindset… and I reckon I could tick off a good few of them…

“…working harder than others (no), taking on other people’s problems (sometimes), poor self-care (trying to address that right here!), burnout (been there), constant worry and rumination about others (er…), giving advice to others to the point of pushing them away (probably not, because of the last item in this list), blaming yourself for things that are not your fault (definitely), difficulty setting limits (the fact that I’m not even sure what that means leads me to believe: yes), and difficulty with asserting yourself (undoubtedly).” 

Phew. I’m exhausted by the responsibility of simply reading that list. 

Buffalo Tom - My Responsibility

Apparently, one of the reasons we take on too much responsibility for others is that it’s a good way of being liked and loved. 

Of course someone’s going to like you if you go out of your way to help them. But they also may come to rely on you too much, to their detriment. This is a knife edge all parents walk on a daily basis. You are responsible for your child, but you’re also responsible for them developing into an independent human being who can look after themselves! Sometimes the most responsible thing you can do is let them take on their own responsibility.

Dolly Parton - Responsibility

I feel like it’s my responsibility to keep investigating this… but I also feel responsible for taking up too much of your time. One final word from Dr. Shannon then, and I’ll call this one a day…

“Over-responsible people have difficulty recognising what is within their control and what is not. Even when you have a strong personal stake in a conflict, if a solution is beyond your control, it is not your responsibility.” 

Snapshots #265: A Top Ten Fireworks Songs

I remember when we used to spend the day after Bonfire Night running around finding all the half-burnt fireworks from the night before and trying to set them off again. My childhood was a health and safety nightmare.

I'd much rather spend this morning playing you ten songs named after fireworks...

10. Get some more tissue for Marie McDonald.

Lulu was born Marie McDonald McLaughlin Lawrie. Tissue is another name for flesh.

Flesh For Lulu – Roman Candle

9. House bird for a couple who are Long & Little, and from the Hills. 

Little John and Long John goes to Beverly Hills to meet some Housemartens.

John & Beverly Martyn – Traffic Light Lady

8. Proby bangs the wall.

PJ Proby is a Harvey Wallbanger.

PJ Harvey – Fountain

7. A bit like gnus.

Gnus are like Wildebeest, or Wild Beasts...

Wild Beasts - Catherine Wheel

6. At the heart of all curmudgeons. 

Found in the centre of "all curMUDgeons" is some MUD.

Mud - Rocket

5. Cruise, like 7.

Tom Cruise and a Buffalo, which is a bit like a Gnu or Wildebeest.

Buffalo Tom - Sparklers

4. Named after their “dreary hometown”. 

Portishead – All Mine

The firework in question is a Mine. Go look it up.

3. Never known to gather a handmaid.

Elizabeth Moss stars in The Handmaid's Tale. A Rolling Stone never gathers her.

The Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash

2. Cuddle!

Embrace - Fireworks

1. The Corrs, Janet Jackson, Del Shannon 

All the above sang about Runaways.

There will be ten more bangers for you to identify next weekend.

(I use the word "bangers" to refer to fireworks and, against my better nature, a reference to that extremely unpleasant term that young people use to refer to a good tune. I feel quite ill for doing it, but a joke's a joke.)

Snapshots #224: A Top Ten Impossible Songs!

Did I set you a Mission: Impossible... or did you Cruise easily to the answers?

Time to check your results...

10. Burn down Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee and Humberside.

"Burn down the disco," sand Morrissey, in Panic.

Panic At The Disco - Impossible Year

A student used to tell me I looked like the lead singer of PATD. I don't.

9. They shall see God, but it'll cause them much agony.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

According to Bible Study... or Indiana Jones.

The Pains of Being Pure At Heart - Impossible

8. Joker captures sidekick in can.

The Joker fought Batman. Batman's sidekick was Robin. If Robin was in a can, he would be a...

Tina Robin - Nothing Is Impossible

7. Mountebanks.

I doubt I'll ever run out of synonyms for these guys.

The Charlatans - Impossible

6. A bison goes with a hawk.

A bison is a buffalo. Tom goes with a hawk to make Tomahawk.

Buffalo Tom - Impossible

5. Two Georges need a Minder to help them go through the undeveloped photos.

Lloyd George + George Cole develop The Negatives.

Lloyd Cole & The Negatives - Impossible Girl

4. Sheila Grant? Must be the clouds in my eyes.

Sheila Grant was played by Sue Johnston.

"Must be the clouds in my eyes," is a line from Daniel.

Daniel Johnston - Impossible Love

Or you could have had...

Daniel Johnston - It's Impossible

3. Mason, with half a bad haircut that won't disguise his bald patch.

Perry Mason with a Com(b)Over.

Perry Como - It's Impossible

2. Peanut farmer gets the last letter of his home wrong.

Jimmy Carter was the peanut farmer, but he was President of the USA, not the USM.

Carter USM - The Impossible Dream

Many different versions of that song, but that is my favourite.

1. Fish in collar.

Anagram!

(The only one this week. Sorry, Lynchie!)

Lalo Schifrin - Mission Impossible

Great live version below with some top ivory tickling from Lalo...

Impossible to beat that? I'll try again next Saturday...

My Top Ten Key Songs

See, I do take requests. (If you'd like to suggest a Top Ten subject, you know where the comments box is.) This one goes out to my old blogging pal Nota Bene who's been having a bit of trouble with his keys lately. Originally, I thought I might split it into two lists: songs about door keys and songs about musical keys... then I decided I'd be scraping the barrel a bit to fill 20 spaces. So they're all mixed in together here.

And if you're wondering where Melanie is... I'm saving her for another Top Ten. (Ditto, The Wurzels, but you might have to wait a bit longer for that one.)

Special mention to The Black Keys, The Mar-Keys and Stevie Wonder's Songs In The Key of Life.


10. Buffalo Tom - Skeleton Key

25 years old now. Doesn't sound it. 

You are so crazy
Should be under lock and key
You've got to be the worst thing
That's every happened to me
But I don't get angry
Got my skeleton key
I can open every door that
Stands in front of me

See also Skeleton Key by The Coral... which is ever-so-slightly SCARY.

9. The Charlatans - Love Is The Key

I tried to resist any metaphorical key songs - all the other songs on this list are about musical keys or keys that open locks. But this is really funky, and it's much better than the Urban Cookie Collective. 

8. Jim Noir - Key of C

Sounds like the theme tune to Magic Roundabout turned into a psychedelic indie-pop song. Video looks like it was made by a bunch of 6th form Media Studies students. Therefore: brilliant.

7. Jenny Owen Youngs - Keys Out Lights On

Sultry and smokey, with a lovely bit of trumpet... delicious.

6. Okkervil River - No Key, No Plan

No idea what this one's about, but as with a lot of Okkervil River records, it bounces along like a Barnes Wallis.

I'm a rich young sophisticate, I've got girls and friends.
I'm doing what I really like and getting paid for it.
There is no key, there's no plan; well, I discovered that.
And, truly, I don't think you'll find a happier man.

5. Billie Holiday - I'm Gonna Lock My Heart & Throw Away The Key

What can you say about a song like this? It probably should be number one. But when I'm comparing apples with Fabergé eggs, putting songs in Top Ten order becomes impossible.

I'm gonna park my romance right alone the curb
Hang a sign upon my heart
"Please don't disturb"'
And if I never fall in love again
That's soon enough for me

4. Luke Haines - Rock Opera In The Key Of Existential Misery

'Nuff said?

No?

It's from an album called Nine and a Half Psychedelic Meditations on British Wrestling of the 1970s and early '80s...

Still not convinced?

I've had more women than you've hat hot dinner, sunshine...
First we take Berlin... and then we take Stoke.

See now? I call the over-used g-word. You know, the one that ends in 'enius'.

3. Huey Lewis & The News - Give Me the Keys (And I'll Drive You Crazy)

I'll happily argue my case that in Fore!, Huey Lewis produced one of the Top Five pop albums of the 80s. But how do you follow an album as perfect - and packed with classic radio hits - as that? Well, the truth is, he couldn't. I have a great fondness for Fore!'s follow-up, Small World, but nobody could claim it to be a great record. And this, the album's big single, isn't fit to be mentioned in the same breath as The Power of Love, Stuck With You or Hip To Be Square. It kind of marks the point where the 80s started to go bad, musically. But I still love it in its own quirky way... and the video is hilariously awful. Huey always did some great comedy expressions.

2. Billy Bragg & Wilco - Way Over Yonder In The Minor Key

Another never-before-recorded Woody Guthrie composition, brought to life by Billy & Tweedy from the Mermaid Avenue sessions.

Ain't nobody that can sing like me...

Too true, Billy.

1. Kathleen Edwards - The Cheapest Key

A great F-u song, possibly aimed at a former songwriting / romantic partner (though t'internet lets me down on revealing just who deserves Kathleen's ire). Definitely one of her best, anyway... and the video's an absolute belter, proving that in a sane world Ms. Edwards would be a star of Pink-like proportions.

I was wondering when a new record might be arriving from one of my favourite Canadians, but iffypedia informs me she's taking time off music to open a coffee shop. Which is great news for the caffeine-fiend residents of Stittsville, Ottawa... but a cold cup of dregs for the rest of us.

See also Copied Keys, another fine record from the divine Ms. E. She wins this one hands down.




Which one has the key to your heart? And which one gets stuck in your lock?