Celebrity Jukebox #67: Brigitte Bardot (Part 3)

OK, I realise this is a cheap way of filling blog posts on my first week back at work, but don't blame me - blame all these songwriters who were obsessed with the late Ms. B.

Last lot today, I promise. Though I did leave a load out... and probably missed a bunch too.

We'll start with a suggestion from The Swede, which I'm kicking myself I didn't remember...

Will Serge's own 'Initials BB' will be making an appearance?

And the reason I'm kicking myself? I'm a big fan of the Mick Harvey version...

On with the show... and I suppose we have to get this one out of the way...

The Bollock Brothers - Brigitte Bardot

Now let's move up to something with a bit more class.

I'm in love with Sophia Loren
I'm in love with Bridget Bardot
I'm in love with the whole dumb scene

The Psychedelic Furs - We Love You

Zig-zag, walk like Marilyn Monroe
Zig-zag, talk like Brigitte Bardot
No stone gonna be unturned
When you're out there, walkin' and a talkin'
Baby, doin' the Zig-Zag Walk

Foghat - Zig Zag Walk

You know what, you're a supersonic flight
A song by Lennon and McCartney
A Mohammed Ali fight
You're like Brigitte Bardot
No way Danny La Rue...
But most important of all
You are you

Gilbert O`Sullivan - You Are You

Marilyn, Sophia, Danny La Rue... who else might Brigitte get compared to?

She smiles like Richard Nixon
Walks like Brigitte Bardot
And I love her, but I can't trust her

The Bad Examples - She Smiles Like Richard Nixon

That's the problem with being an icon. You can choose your lyrical bedfellows. Still, given what C said about Brigitte's latter-day politics, maybe she'd appreciate spending time with Tricky Dicky?

Well you may not look like Brigitte Bardot
But you got rhythm in your big black toe

Colin Blunstone - Pay Me Later

That's got to be the weirdest lyric yet. Can Noddy beat that?

I get weird imaginin's about all different kinds of things, but I always try
To get fantasising thoughts, maybe Bardot in her shorts, like a natural guy
So I took a trip to Tutankhamen's tomb
He was alone and said he hoped I'd come back soon

Slade - I'm Mad

Of course he can.

Bobby boy's full of bravado
His girlfriend looks like Bridgette Bardot

You know, I wouldn't normally lower myself to the Menswear level, but credit where it's due - that's one of the better rhymes I've seen since starting this list.

Menswear - Stardust

Can anyone find a better rhyme for Bardot?

I should be raising the bar high, avoiding the bar low
I'll write a million songs for you as if I was Barlow
'Cause you're my Bridget Bardot, my precious cargo
I'm tryna speak my mind but I don't get very far though

Example - Millionaires

Alright, show-off. After that, let's go for a really basic one...

The first time that you saw Bardot
Inside you really glow
But I feel better than that
(I feel better than that)

Miles Kane - Better Than That

Lots of blokes squeezing her into their songs? What about a lady for a change?

Every time I see you, I see Paris in your eyes
A hint of the forbidden, Brigitte Bardot style
Every time I dream of you, I dream that distant land
Where I once held tomorrow in my hand

Janis Ian - Paris In Your Eyes

And another female perspective... from a male songwriter.

'Cause when I was a little girl, you'd dress me like Bardot
And the hallway'd become a catwalk, and you'd watch me go to the show
Said, "All the little girls were pretty, but I was pretty like fresh flowers"
I was a superhero, mama, with superpowers

Kevin Morby - US Mail

And to close - this really is the end of our Bardot tribute, I promise! - here's the theme to Eurotrash, by Francis Lai... and a certain Ms. Bardot.

No Comment

Serge Gainsbourg - No Comment

A little blogging post today...

Jackson Heights - Whatever Happened to the Conversation?

I don't appear to be getting comment notification emails from blogger anymore. and I wondered if I was the only one?

Gil Scott Heron - Comment #1

This started a few months back, but I usually found that at least if I left a reply to someone else's comment and ticked the box, then I would receive subsequent comments in my inbox. Now even that has stopped working. 

Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation

This isn't so bad for that day's post as I can check in and see if there are any comments to read and reply to, but as it also effects previous day's posts, I find myself having to check back through the past week and discovering new comments I've missed.

View From The Hill - No Conversation

Is anyone else having the same issue? I've also found it to be true when I leave a comment on another blogger-based blog - like Charity Chic's. I no longer receive a notification to tell me if there's been a reply. One of the things I enjoy most about the blogosphere is the fun little conversations that crop up in comments boxes, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with them now the notifications have stopped. I've checked my spam folder in case they'd started going in there, but no joy. Wordpress comments still appear to be working fine.

Françoise Hardy - Comment Te Dire Adieu

Those of you who are on blogger - is this happening to you also? And for anyone else who leaves a comment on this blog, do you still get notifications if someone replies? Is it just me?

Celebrity Jukebox #99: Jane Birkin

Je t'aime, je t'aime
Oh oui, je t'aime

I can't have been the only person to hear those words echoing in my ears the moment I read about the sudden death of Jane Birkin last week. There's not many pop stars who can claim to have had a record condemned by The Vatican.

Although most will remember her for that song, and her tumultuous relationship with Serge, the English woman who became a French icon also recorded with everyone from Franz Ferdinand to Ian McCulloch, as well as being a successful actress, political activist and giving her name to a designer handbag. The number of rap songs that refer to the "Birkin bag" made compiling this feature an arduous task... but here's a few tunes that pay tribute to Jane herself instead...

Ed Harcourt - Blondes, Brunettes And Redheads (Demo For Jane Birkin)

Ed Harcourt is almost old enough to remember Jane at her peak (but he's still younger than me). Charlie Hickey, on the other hand, doesn't look old enough to know Jane's daughter Charlotte... 

Dressed like Jane Birkin, but you look like a kid
Wish you lived in a decade when you didn't exist

Charlie Hickey - Notre Dame

Momus, on the other hand, was born in 1960. Clearly Jane Birkin had a huge effect on him growing up, hence why she appears in two of his tunes...

When bubblegum and glam rock reigned
A young Momus dug the J5
And Jane Birkin's shapely legs

Momus - Not Intended For Children

I play Charlotte Gainsbourg, Bambou and Jane Birkin at my party
But when the radiant night is over and the sun begins to shine
I kiss the simple lover who is mine

Momus - Radiant Night

Unloved is a collaboration between soundtrack maestro's David Holmes (yes, that one) and Keefus Ciancia (no, me neither), along with singer Jade Vincent, who clearly has been chanelling a little of the Birkin mystique...

She dreams of Jane Birkin and talks in Serge's voice
Mother's been a bad girl
Mother had no choice

Unloved - Mother's Been A Bad Girl

But nobody does it better than Jane herself... and here she is supported by French band, Mickey 3D.

Hot 100 #58

The Beta 58s welcome us to the latest number on our countdown... proof that punk isn't dead, but it hasn't grown any more braincells.

Straight on to your suggestions for this week...

C started the ball rolling, bringing back a band from last week...

You had Blondie for 59 - you can have them again for 58 with I'm On E:

I gave my car to a guy named Vinnie
I feel like gassin' my feet
They've totalled your bill and you skipped a beat
I used to have a car of my own
Twenty eight or fifty eight

That was the b-side of Denis, in case anybody was wondering. Wonder if it'll return in 30 weeks time?

Rigid Digit was on fire this week with 4 top suggestions...

1. Mott The Hoople - Born Late 58 (CC seconded this.)

2. Bruce Dickinson - Born In 58

 

3. Madness - Driving In My Car

 

I drove along the A45, I had her up to 58

 

What do you mean that was only 3 top suggestions? We'll come back to #4.

Then Lynchie joined us, asking...

I suppose 586 by New Order isn't acceptable?

And yes, you would be right. It's not acceptable. For all the reasons. Your second offering wasn't much better, although you did note that it was "a bit heavy on the guitar solo noodling side".

(The) Chicago (Transit Authority) - Poem 58

I'd still rather listen to that than New Order though. I will horrify many of you by saying I'd rather listen to If You Leave Me Now than New Order too. I'm sorry. Old scars run deep.

And while I'm in the business of horrifying you all... and comparing Mancunian icons with cheesy American rockers, here's two suggestions my music library threw up this week...

Morrissey - Munich Air Disaster 1958

 

Styx - AD 1958

New Order fans - feel free to tell me you'd rather listen to Styx. I won't be hurt.

Anyway, then C popped back to bring a little sanity back to proceedings...

Carcass by Siouxsie & The Banshees, of course!

Out of the frying pan
And into the fire
58th variety
Out of the frying pan
And into the fire
Mother had her son for tea

Yeah, there was a bit of sarcasm there, the idea that Siouxsie could restore sanity to anything.

The Swede was late this week, claiming "C got there before me" (not sure if that was Blondie or Siouxsie) "so all I can offer is Ronsard '58 by Serge Gainsbourg." That is actually in my record collection, though I'm worried I'll have to have it deported after Brexit.

All of which brings us to this week's winner, which was firsted by Rigid Digit and seconded by South West Correspondent. I have to admit, I haven't listened to The Bends in ages, so I'd forgotten how good this track was... it has a great opening line too! ("I get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown".)

The troubled words of a troubled mind

I try to understand what is eating you,

I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since I last slept with you

  

Next week is an easy win for me. I know exactly who the winning artist will be. Less easy to decide which song though...

Your suggestions, as always, will be gratefully received...

Hot 100 #69

If you're a music blogger, and you choose the records you write about because you think other people will think they're cool... and by extension that you are cool for liking them... then you are being a music blogger for the wrong reason. Go be a music journalist if you want people to think you're cool. Go work for the NME. (Well, what's left of it.) Some people - the ones who follow the crowd - may end up thinking you're cool. The rest of us will probably think you're a tool who occasionally gets it right, but... well, at least you'll be getting paid.

No, if you're a music blogger, you you never choose your songs because of what other people might think - about the songs or about you. You should just go ahead and pick the songs you like, write about them, and please yourself. Screw what anybody else thinks. The really cool people (not the NME journalists) will respect you for that, even if they don't agree with you.

Many fine (and cool) songs were suggested for the number 69. Here's a selection...

Serge Gainsbourge & Jane Birkin - 69 Année Erotique (The Swede)

(I quite like Bad Seed Mick Harvey's English translation too: 69 Erotic Year.)

Liz Phair - Go West (Yes, Swede, cold showers after often needed in this house following a bout of Liz Phair)

Stepping down off my platform shoes

Sixty-nine in the afternoon

And I'm waiting for someone in the know

Like Pirner tells me on the radio

Says "Take it from someone who's been there before,

You go west, young man."

The Vines - 1969 (Lynchie)

The Incredible String Band - Way Back In The 1960s (also Lynchie... but one I think we should save for another 9 weeks' time)

Mott The Hoople - Saturday Gigs (Rigid Digit's last hurrah with that one)

Sixty-nine was cheapo wine,

Have a good time,

What your sign

Float up to the Roundhouse

On a Sunday afternoon.

Stiff Little Fingers - 78 RPM (RD again, and the second mention for this one... although it could have been running for longer than The Hoople has)

Sixty-nine, it was fine

You say, but by seventy-nine it's gonna be mine

Iggy & The Stooges - 1969 (RD, C and Swiss Adam went for this... the cool choice!)

Sonic Youth - Death Valley '69 (C and Swiss Adam both going for the really cool choice)

Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair) (Alyson - I was going to say the "contemporary" choice, but then I realised this is 13 years old)

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

In seventy seven and sixty nine, revolution was in the air

David Holmes - 69 Police (Swiss Adam with another "contemporary" offering... from 18 years ago)

REM - Star 69 (C and Swiss Adam with my runner-up)

Oh, and of course, Charity Chic had to throw in a mention for this lot, who would have been at the top of the page were it not for my favourite Magnetic Fields album...

Other contenders from my own record collection included...

Booker T & The MGs - Soul Clap '69

Babes In Toyland - Sweet 69

Adam Ant - 1969 Again

Mouse & The Boys -- Xcedrin Headache #69 (not sure where that came from - some old psychedelia compilation)

The Fuzztones - Highway 69

Rick James - She Blew My Mind (69 Times)

Albert Collins - 69 Underpass Roadside Inn

...and... wait for it... wait for it...

Ministry - Psalm 69 (a godawful racket, but it makes me smile)

Phew - 69 appears to be an inextricably popular number with popular musicians. Go figure.

In the end though, I refer you all back to my opening paragraphs. There could only be one winner this week, even though I knew it wouldn't be a particularly popular choice in many quarters. It's a song I've written about before here and may even do so again. Sorry if you don't like it: your loss.

(Oh, and in case you're going to accuse me of choosing a year song when there were some fine non-year tracks I could have had instead... well, Bryan himself claims this song isn't about 1969 at all...)



68 next week, and an equally obvious choice for me. We'll see if you agree...

My Top Ten Songs About 1969

Following on from My Top Tens Songs About 1972, we slip back three years before I was born to the days when man first walked on the moon and The Beatles were still a thing (but not for much longer). The year PJ Harvey, Cate Blanchett, Edward Norton, Dave Grohl, Javier Bardem, Graham Coxon, Matthew McConaughey, Nicky Wire & James Dean Bradfield, Ice Cube, Christian Slater, Elliott Smith, Justine Frischmann, Jack Black, Cerys Matthews, Michael Sheen, Keith Flint, J-Lo, Jay-Z and Badly Drawn Boy were born.

The year of Woodstock, Nixon and (according to the book cover above), nudity. Yep, no one had ever taken their clothes off until 1969. Reason enough to celebrate with nine songs that mention that year... and one complete shoe-horn.

10. The Vines - 1969

The closing track from that electric first Vines album - 14 years ago, when it was 1969 in their heads.

9. Babes In Toyland - Sweet '69

Joyous racket from the third Babes In Toyland album, made all the more exciting by the inclusion of a cowbell in the percussion section. 

Love the video.

8. Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg - 69 Année érotique

From the album that brought us Je t'aime... moi non plus. More kitschy sleaze from the master.

Bad Seed Mick Harvey translated this (along with many more Gainsbourg compositions) into English on his 90s albums Intoxicated Man and Pink Elephant. They're nice enough versions, but the lyrics only work in French.

7. Sonic Youth & Lydia Lunch - Death Valley '69

Seriously scary (don't even watch the video) which closed the second Sonic Youth album: sounds like Jim Morrison's worst nightmare set to wax. Amid all that horror, Kim Gordon's bass stands proud.

6. The Highwaymen - Songs That Made A Difference

Johnny Cash recalls the good old days - y'know, when pop songs were actually about stuff. Willie, Waylon and Kris help jog his memory.

Hey babe, do you remember,
Back in nineteen sixty-nine?
We gathered round the room.
You sang yours and I sang mine.
We took turns with the guitar,
In the front and center seat.
Shel and Kris and Dylan,
And a couple off the street.
Joni Mitchell cried on, "Both Sides Now."
We sang songs that made a difference.
And we can again somehow.

5. REM - Star 69

OK, so I know this one isn't about 1969 at all, just the 'last number called' feature on American phones, but I couldn't resist shoehorning it in because it features some of Stipey's most bonkers lyrical ramblings about a mate who burns down a warehouse then calls Michael for an alibi.

I know all about the warehouse fire
I know squirrels didn't chew the wires
3 people have my number
The other 2 were with me
I don't like to tell-tell but I'm not your patsy
This time you have gone too far with me

4. Morrissey - Little Man, What Now?

The shortest - and oddest - song from Viva Hate. With nods to both Judy Garland and German novelist Hans Fallada, Moz affectionately recalls a TV star of the late 60s who has slipped into obscurity. Various theories abound on who the Little Man in question was... Alan Bennett seems to think it was Jimmy Clitheroe.

3. Nanci Griffith - Drive-In Movies and Dashboard Lights

I picked up a copy of Nanci's 1988 album Storms in a charity shop a few weeks back and it's a beautiful record. She looks really young on the cover, so I was surprised to read that it was her 8th album and she already had over ten years in the business when it was released. Apparently it was seen at the time as her "pop" album... "pop" meant something very different back then.

Drive-In Movies & Dashboard Lights is my favourite track - the tale of a small-town girl who gets by on looks alone... and learns a hard lesson a few years later...

Where is she now?
The backseat queen of fraternity
Where is she now?
She's heavy on thigh
And light on integrity
Someone should have told her
When beauty's all you offer
How soon the world discovers
That your beauty's gone
It's gone

Unlike our Number One artist this week (who only pretended to be), Nanci actually was 16 in 1969. Which might explain why she sets a number of her songs in that year, including So Long Ago and her Viet Nam elegy Traveling Through This Part Of You.

2. Iggy & The Stooges - 1969

The first Punk album? Discuss.

The opening track on Iggy's debut racket doesn't sound like anything else released in 1969... maybe that's why he was so bored?

1. Bryan Adams - Summer of '69

I sometimes think I should have called this blog 'Irk The Purists' ('Irk The Musos' might be more on-point, but that wouldn't reference Half Man Half Biscuit). Bryan Adams at Number One? Bryan Adams ahead of Iggy Pop? Are you saying Bryan Adams is more rock 'n' roll than Iggy, Rol? Are you? Are you? 'Cos them's fighting words.

Clearly, I'm not saying anything of the sort, but this song - his finest hour, by far - will always take some beating. (Plus, his mum's from Huddersfield like me.)

Just listen to those opening chords and tell me your heart doesn't beat a little faster. And when he buys that first guitar at the five 'n' dime, tell me you're not instantly transported back to the (nostalgia-tinged) summers of your youth. Iffypedia Mathematicians will quickly be able to establish that Bryan was only 10 years old in '69 though: perhaps a little too young for a job at the drive in and some of the other stuff he gets up to in this song. Turns out - shock horror! - the title isn't actually a reference to the year at all... it's something to do with sex-type-stuff. (You see, that's what Iggy was missing*!)

Somehow, I have managed to live the last 32 years without ever seeing the video to this song. It's cheesy as a Quattro Formaggi, but it still brought a grin to my face.

Apparently One Direction covered this. No, I'm not going to listen to that. I have SOME standards!



Which one makes you remember the best days of your life?

(*Yes, I seriously doubt that too.)