Snapshots #451: Hospital Songs

Nobody wants to spend their Sunday morning in hospital, so let's get you through this procedure as quickly and painlessly as possible - stat!

15. Batman.

Well, he has been known to chew on them.

Ozzy Osborne - Patient No. 9

14. And the nonchemical reef will leave you perplexed.

"And the nonchemical reef" was an anagram for Florence (Welch) And The Machine (aka Isabella Summers).

Florence & The Machine - Hospital Beds

13. Film director with a singular vision meets a bloke known for his twitchy eyeballs.

An Auteur and a bloke from R.E.M.

Luke Haines & Peter Buck - Rock 'n' Roll Ambulance

12. Turned out nice again.

Sunny - Doctor's Orders

11. Continental cops.

Interpol - Specialist

10. Plonker finds murder in bloody place.

Rodney was a plonker with a crow* in 'ell. (*From a murder of crows.)

Rodney Crowell - Triage

9. You think that you're strong, Rocky Balboa? You're wrong.

Lyrics from a Robbie Williams song, with added Sly Stallone.

Sly & Robbie - Night Nurse

8. The French had a good winter.

"Bon hiver" means good winter in French.

Bon Iver - Blood Bank

7. Opaline or Spangle?

Two types of budgerigar.

Budgie - Crash Course in Brain Surgery

6. Superman's pal goes to work for Charlie.

Superman's Pal is Jimmy Olsen. Charlie employed Angels.

Angel Olsen - Sister

...or you could have...

Angel Olsen - Intern

5. He's not been the same since Dolby died.

"Dolby died" was an anagram.

Bo Diddley - Pills

Call for the Rock 'n' Roll nurse!

4. This klew cud realy youse these guyz.

Editors - Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

3. Clive Powell doesn't have quite the same ring.

Clive Powell is the real name of...

Georgie Fame - St. James Infirmary

2. Orton.

    Houghton.

Beth Orton.

Beth Jean Houghton.

Ditto!

Beth Ditto - Open Heart Surgery

1. Hard rock Scott, found in banjo-violin combo.

Bon Scott + banjo-violin.

Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine

Hopefully you'll all make a full recovery and be discharged in time for next week's Snapshots.

Snapshots #368 - A Top Ten Mythical Creature Songs

I didn't really know what to call this week's Top Ten, and I only really settled on "Mythical Creatures" under protest... since clearly everyone knows Bigfoot isn't a myth. 

Apologies, all you sceptics, but I'm 100% Fox Mulder: I want to believe. The alternative is a much more boring world.

Anyway, here are ten songs about creatures I'm willing to be convinced are just as real as you or I...

10. Half a dozen English immigrants.

New Colony Six - Ballad Of The Wingbat Marmaduke (Elf Song)

OK, I'm not saying I believed in Wingbat Marmadukes... but Elves, why not?

9. Bony Beth.

Thin Lizzy - Banshee

8. Blackburn / Ely Riot.

Tony Blackburn and Joe Ely get involved in a White Riot.

Tony Joe White - Even Trolls Love Rock 'n' Roll

7. 15/3.

The 15th of March is the Ides...

Ides Of March - Ogre

6. Influential director and blinking bloke. 

An Auteur and a bloke known for his Rapid Eye Movement...

Luke Haines & Peter Buck - Last of the Legendary Bigfoot Hunters

5. Third Netflix Queen just might...

Three actresses played The Queen on Netflix, the third being Imelda Staunton. 

Imelda May - Little Pixie

4. Conservative Councillor. 

He was in a Conserve (Jam) and also a Council (Style).

Paul Weller - Mermaids

3. They'll give you the hump.

Camel - Sasquatch

2. Logic, Radiator, Guerilla.

Their first three albums were Fuzzy Logic, Radiator and Guerilla...

Super Furry Animals - Hometown Unicorn

...and I would have accepted...

Super Furry Animals - Chupacabras

1. Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

That's the chorus of If I Were A Richman, of course...

Again, two answers would have been acceptable. Firstly, this...

Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns

And, more obviously, this...

Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Abominable Snowman In The Supermarket

Hard to believe, I know, but Saturday Snapshots will return next week...

My Top Twenty of 2020: #9

 

I still haven't quite worked out how perennial English satirist, raconteur and Auteur Luke Haines ended up in collaboration with the guitarist from REM this year, but part of me doesn't actually want to know the truth. I'm sure it won't be half as interesting as the story in my imagination.

I have to be honest though: if you're an REM fan suffering withdrawal symptoms, this probably isn't the record to quench your need. It doesn't sound much like an REM record at all, despite Buck's involvement. It does, however, sound exactly like a Luke Haines record, full of mad lyrics, crazy theories and Haines's unique parallel universe vision of the world.

Yesterday's selection might have been the first time Bob Dylan has featured in my year end countdown... but this is the umpteenth time Luke Haines has troubled these parts. And he has another new album out in March, so I dare say he'll be here again next year.

2020 Contenders: One For Us Ugly Dudes

I got my copy of the new Luke Haines album as lockdown was beginning, but it got buried under a pile of paperwork on my desk and I only just got round to listening to it. At this stage in his career, Haines isn't going to convert many new followers. Those of who who love him (like me and JC) will buy and enjoy his work whatever he does (although I did draw the line that time he trademarked a tone frequency and made a whole concept album out of it).

That said, maybe he will win a few new fans with this record, as... somehow (I'm sure there are articles online explaining how & why: I don't have time to read them) he's managed to rope in former REM guitarist Peter Buck to play alongside him here. Which is nice.

Look, it's a Friday, it's been a very long week, if you don't care for Luke Haines you stopped reading this at the first line... so here's my favourite tune from the album so far. Let's just say this one struck a chord...