Snapshots #466: Songs About Magazines

Hello again.

Here are some songs about magazines...

15. The Munch Bunch.

The Scream was painted by Edvard Munch.

Primal Scream - Loaded

Their strapline was "For Men Who Should Know Better". It should have been "For Men Too Embarrassed To Buy Razzle.)

14. Isaak was almost caught going too fast.

Chris (Isaak) caught Speeding (almost).

Chris Spedding - Radio Times

13. Not quite a decade of snowless mountains.

Nine Black Alps  - Cosmopolitan

12. Like a fox with its rock hard relatives.

Sly & The Family Stone - Life

11. A bunch of idiots... and Yuri.

"And Yuri" was an anagram.

Ian Dury - Razzle In My Pocket

Was Razzle a better magazine than Loaded? At least it didn't pretend to be something it wasn't.

10. Proud... Fargo.

Proud Mary meets Wells Fargo.

Mary Wells - You Beat Me To The Punch

9. Top Jackets required.

Thee Headcoats - (We Hate The Fuckin') NME

Wild Billy at his best.

8. Lost without bab.

The missing A in ABBA.

Agnetha Faltskog - The Heat Is On

Louise makes me buy Heat every Tuesday. (She only reads it for the TV section, apparently.) It's hard to tell which is the new issue since every week without fail the cover features either Kate, Meghan, Posh Spice or that woman who used to present This Morning. 

7. My Father's Cars... abbreviated.

My father's car was a Jaguar. (It wasn't. He always drove Fords.)

The Jags - Woman's World

6. Tuesday afternoon is neverending.

That's a line from Lady Madonna.

Madonna - Vogue

5. A severed alliance.

They hate each other nowadays.

Hall & Oates - Private Eyes

4. Instructions for the gospel crowd.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Heavy Metal

3. Where to find the ingredients of a hamburger.

On the patty label.

Patti LaBelle - Oh People

2. Man behaving badly.

Like Neil Morrissey.

Morrissey - Last Of The Famous International Playboys

1. It's ma Top Ten... and I'll cry if I want to.

Temptations - Papa Was A Rolling Stone

Expect more magazines as the week goes on.

And more Snapshots next Saturday.

Random Friday: Handwriting

I don't blame my terrible memory on getting older: I've always had a terrible memory. I often write things on the back of my hand as a reminder - shopping to get, songs to track down, ideas for blog posts, what time to pick Sam up... it's the only place I can be guaranteed to see a written reminder. Of course, in the era of covid (and especially since I work in a hospital), I wash my hands a lot during the day... which means quite a few of those messages get lost. Believe me though, I've had some great ideas for blog posts... but I've washed them all away, so you're left with this blather.

Earlier in the week, I was in a meeting at work with doctors, nutritionists, psychologists, occupational therapists and all kinds of important, intelligent people. (I always feel like the dumbest person in any meeting I attend... apart from the ones I have to chair: then, I just feel sorry for wasting everybody's time.) However, I found myself warming to the doctor chairing this meeting when he paused to write an important medical update for the patient / student we were discussing... on the back of his hand. For a few seconds, I felt less alone.

There was, of course, only one song to play today...

 

Saturday Snapshots #48 - The Answers

Don't Ask Me Why Saturday Snapshots has become the most clicked-on post on this blog. Probably because there's much less of me wittering on than on all the other posts and far more top tunes.

This week there was a photo-finish between Lynchie & Rigid Digit, both on 3 points, both typing the words "Joe Walsh" at 8:58 on the dot, but RD took the crown by a nose. Nailbiting stuff, though Charity Chic had to drop by and identify the song in question later.

Anyway, here are this week's answers... Would I Lie To You?


10. Motown records go twang, dude.

Motown was Detroit.

Records spin on a turntable.

Rubber bands go twang.

Dudes are men.

The Detroit Spinners - Rubberband Man

9. Listening to Louise's old band in the early hours of 11.12.06.

Louise was in Eternal.

The early hours would be 3am.

11/12/06 are the numbers corresponding to letters K/L/F in the alphabet.

Took a while to get the song, but C identified it first.

KLF - 3am Eternal


8. What The Beatles did after She Loves You to show off their genetic male dominance.

After She Loves You, The Beatles sang Yeah Yeah Yeah.

Y is the male chromosome.

Dominance is control.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Y Control

7. As easy as Burt Bacharach.

As easy as ABC.

Burt Bacharach wrote (a different song called) The Look of Love.

Top Ten cheesy 80s videos of all time? Go!

ABC - The Look of Love

6. Butch Cassidy feels more than a few raindrops on his head... probably the result of changing wind patterns.

Butch Cassidy was Paul Newman.

More than a few raindrops would be a Thunderclap.

Changing wind patterns would be Something In The Air.

(I'm glad you guys worked that one out because it's a couple of weeks since I wrote that clue and I couldn't remember who it was!)

Thunderclap Newman - Something In The Air

5. One particular smooch on a religious street of blues.

Religion is faith.

Hill Street Blues.

Well done, Chris.

I wish Americans would learn to pronounce "centrifugal" properly.

Faith Hill - This Kiss 

4. Not a bad innings for a Jamaican cricketer who likes his coffee.

"Not a bad innings" is what people say when someone's had a good life.

Courtney Walsh was a Jamaican cricketer.

Coffee is "a cup of Joe". (Though I appreciated Lynchie's attempt at getting to Rocky Mountain Way via Blue Mountain Coffee.)

Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good

3. Blimey, Gordon! Reykjavik is a now a matriarchy.

"Gordon Bennet!" is an expression which means, "Blimey!"

Reykjavik is in Iceland.

A matriarchy... that's your mum, that is.

Hometown heroes for Rigid Digit! Lost Britpop classic...

Bennet - Mum Has Gone To Iceland

2. Jesus and Harrison Ford try for a close encounter.

Jesus and Harrison Ford were both carpenters.

A close encounter may be the result of trying to get in touch with beings from outer space.

The Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft

(How long till I can use Klaatu here now?)

1. I know this place like half a big cat (or car).

Half a jaguar is a jag.

I know this place like the back of my hand.

Amazed it took till 9:45 to get this one. I was about to comment on that yesterday morning when CC saved me the trouble...



There Must Be An Angel Playing With My Heart, because Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.

My Top Ten Phone Number Songs (Vol. 1)

Ten songs about getting someone's phone number... or getting it wrong.

Please note - songs featuring actual phone numbers will be featured in a separate Top Ten. I thank you for your patience.


10. The Beatles - You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)

Someone on youtube claims this song as proof that "even when the Beatles were just dicking around, they were better than anything today".

I respectfully disagree. Still, it's a fun enough diversion... until Macca starts the creepy whisper-crooning. Brrr...

9. Luxembourg - Not My Number

Either you're not using your phone at all... or... just perhaps... it's not his number that you call.

8. Elbow - I've Got Your Number

Don't put this note by your face on the pillow
Don't put this letter in the pocket near your heart
Keep it in the bottom drawer where you hide the sex tools
I pray you always need them
I know what you have done

Only Guy Garvey could sing a line like "grow a fucking heart, love" and make it sound both caring and scary.

7. The Cure - Wrong Number

I had the best laid plans this side of America
Started out in church and finished with Angelica
Red and blue soul with a snow-white smile
Can you dig it?

Definitely a wrong number.

6. The Drifters - You're More Than A Number In My Little Black Book

No, really, baby, this time's different... you and me, we're special...

(Why don't I believe him?)

5. Cosmo Jarvis - Jessica Alba's Number

Ah, it's a dilemma faced by many young men living in the unreal world...  if Cosmo had Jessica Alba's number, he'd call her up and ask her to marry him. But he's not all that choosy...

I'd like to go see Toy Story 2,

With just me and Britney Spears, 

And then she'd say "Hit me baby one more time" 

And I'd say, "No way Britney, Domestic Violence is a crime" 

I like the one from Showgirls, 

When she's dancing 'round those poles, 

Or the really, really fit one, 

Who sings in the Pussycat Dolls.
I've nearly got a moustache, 

And they still wouldn't look at me,

Kate Winslet naked in Titanic, 

Or the lesbian from the OC.

4. The Undertones - You've Got My Number (Why Don't You Use It?)

If you wanna, wanna, wanna have someone to talk to... give Feargal Sharkey a call.

3. William Bell & Judy Clay - Private Number

Baby, baby, baby... let me have your private number!

Go on, Judy - he did ask nicely.

2. Steely Dan - Rikki, Don't Lose That Number

There are some bloody excellent songs on this particular Top Ten, and for a while I thought this might come out top. Then I had a change of heart...

1. The Jags - Back Of My Hand 

I've got your number - written on the back of my hand

A classic slice of early 80s power pop, reminiscent of Elvis Costello at his best. Sadly it was the band's only big hit.



So... who you gonna call?