Snapshots #211: A Top Ten Bacharach & David Covers

Earlier this week I was leafing through Sam's notebook (largely full of made up football scores) when I saw he'd scribbled a name on the inside front cover...

Not because he's been watching Blue Velvet, Easy Rider or the Sicilian scene from True Romance recently. No, because he's become quite a fan of a song I've featured here previously, Dennis Hopper by The Waterboys. 

I continue in my mission to teach Sam as many out-of-date pop culture references as I possibly can.

All of which has nothing to do with this week's Snapshots, which featured ten songs written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. No, I couldn't find a photo of either of those gentlemen holding a camera... 

10. Jerry's neighbour, associated with Walrus home.

On Seinfeld, Jerry's neighbour was Kramer...

John Lennon lived in (and was sadly killed outside) The Dakota Building.

Billy J. Kramer & The Dakotas - Trains & Boats & Planes

9. Speaking clock gets spicy.

Remember when the only way to find out the exact time was to ring TIM, the speaking clock?

Tim Curry - Anyone Who Had A Heart

8. Roger Whittaker... or mother-painter?

Roger was famous for whistling. 

The painter Whistler is famous for this image of his mother...

Whistler - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

7. Steven or Johnny or Andy or Mike... but only one of them.

Together, those guys were the Smiths. So one of them would just be...

Smith - Baby, It's You

6. Could be a stranger, a battlefield or a wonderful colour.

Love Is A Stranger.

Love Is A Battlefield.

Love Is A Wonderful Colour.

All of which lead us to...

Love - My Little Red Book

5. Parchment secretaries.

Anagram!

Manic Street Preachers - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

4. Upmarket joiners.

Posh joiners call themselves carpenters. (I say this as the son of a joiner.)

The Carpenters - Close To You

3. The apples are falling, but there's still time to gather in the crops while the sun is shining.

The falling apple denotes Isaac Newton. The rest is about making hay while the sun shines.

Isaac Hayes - The Look Of Love

Or you could have had...

Isaac Hayes - Walk On By

Isaac Hayes - I'll Never Fall In Love Again

2. Lima found inside people you don't know.

Lima is the letter L in the phonetic alphabet.

Put an L into Strangers (people you don't know) and you get...

The Stranglers - Walk On By

1. Royal bassist down.

The bassist in Queen was John Deacon.

If he was down, he would be blue.

Snapshots will be back-arach new Saturday!

The Neverending Top Ten #9: Fire Safety Advice from a 4 Year Old

The house Health & Safety officer (Louise) has been trying to impress upon Sam the dangers of electricity, hot water and fire. You know: don't turn light switches on when your fingers are wet. Don't touch the hot tap. Don't stick your fingers in plug sockets. Don't put a metal poker on a three bar electric fire to see what happens.*

*This last one isn't really aimed at Sam as we have neither a poker nor a three bar fire in our house. However, I grew up in a house with a coal fire and often mucked about with the poker, sometimes getting it red hot and using it to torture Star Wars figures. One time we went away on a holiday to a cottage where there was an old fireplace which had had a three bar electric fire placed in front of it... though for some reason they still had a poker next to it. For scientific purposes, I decided to see what would happen if I placed said metal poker on the coils of said electric fire.

The answer: sparks will fly.

Somehow I lived to tell the tale, although I did short out all the electricity in the holiday cottage.

Anyway, in reply to a recent piece of fire safety advice from Mum, Sam came out with an excellent response...

"Do y'know - Johnny Cash fell into a ring of fire, so you have to be careful...'

See? He already knows more than his dad!

However, I do feel vindicated. Because expanding Sam's musical knowledge also benefits other aspects of his life! What's next? Here's ten pieces of fatherly advice... specially for those of you who lament the days when every post on this blog was a Top Ten.


10. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow


9. Don't Drive Drunk


8. Don't Fence Me In


7. Don't Believe What You Read


6. Don't Go To Strangers


5. Don't Jump In Front Of My Train


4. Don't Stare At The Sun


3. Don't Set Foot Over The Railway Track


2. Don't Make Fun Of Daddy's Voice

And obviously...

1. Don't Fall Into A Ring Of Fire...



Any Health & Safety songs in your collection?

My Top Ten Jumping Songs

10. Broken Family Band - Leaps

I think this might be about energetic, acrobatic sex. I might be wrong. I usually am when it comes to that kind of thing.

9. Jethro Tull - Jump Start

Almost made my Top Ten Start Songs... then I decided to save it for here.

8. Whistler - Don't Jump In Front Of My Train

We both know you're not insane
So don't jump in front of my train

7. Joe Jackson - Jumpin' Jive

Jazz... nice. Not listened to this in years.

6. The Cure - Jumping Someone Else's Train

Don't say what you mean
You might spoil your face...

...is a wonderfully catty way to start a song.

5. Malcolm McLaren & The Bootzilla Orchestra featuring Lisa Marie - Something's Jumping In Your Shirt

Malcolm McClaren sounds like The Child Catcher on this. And most other times he opens his mouth too.

4. House of Pain - Jump Around

This song is now 20 years old. Yes, you are that old.

3. Van Halen - Jump

Hands up if you thought this would be Number One?

I could watch David Lee Roth muck about in music videos all day and never grow bored.

However, if you're too cool for poodle rock, may I direct you to Aztec Camera's reworking of this track as a suicide ballad... you might as well jump.

2. Billy Bragg - Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards

Mixing pop and politics
He asks me what the use is...
I offer him embarrassment
And my usual excuses

I almost gave Billy the Number One spot because this is one of his greatest ever songs... but then I listened to the track below again, and damn it, even the Bard of Barking couldn't argue this one...

1. The Rolling Stones - Jumpin' Jack Flash

It's a gas, gas, gas!

Which jumping song gets you jumping round the room?