As usual, I'm stealing another query from Richard Herring's book EMERGENCY QUESTIONS and trying to answer it with added songs. Here's today's question...
What age would you like to be when you get to heaven, presuming there is a heaven and you get to choose what age you'll be when you're up there?
Putting aside whether or not we believe in any kind of afterlife, this is a thought-provoking question. If we're lucky enough to live to an old age, we wouldn't want to be stuck at that age, for eternity, with all the frailties, disabilities and marble loss that might come with it. We'd want to be young and strong and ready to take best advantage of our nirvana...
No thank you very much. I wouldn't mind going back and reliving a good day of my adolescence, safe in the knowledge that I could return to where I am right now before the bad days kick in. Because I did have a good many bad days as a teenager, days of self-doubt, embarrassment, humiliation days and crushing loneliness.
In answer to Rich's question then, I'd probably choose to be mid-30s. Some time just before I fell down the stairs and broke my arm, also causing a slipped disc in my back which still bothers me today. Some time before the aches and pains set in...
It's not so long since I covered The Man From U.N.C.L.E. here, and for most that would serve as a fitting tribute to the actor David McCallum, who died, aged 90, earlier this week. Particularly as I couldn't find any songs that mentioned him by name. Although any excuse to play this again...
Growing up when I did, my first encounter with David McCallum came not through U.N.C.L.E., but through his starring role alongside Joanna Lumley in Sapphire & Steel, surely one of the weirdest TV shows of the late 70s and early 80s.
All irregularities will be handled by the forces controlling each dimension. Transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life. Medium atomic weights are available: Gold, Lead, Copper, Jet, Diamond, Radium, Sapphire, Silver and Steel. Sapphire and Steel have been assigned.
So went the intro to the show... and that was about as much explanation as writer PJ Hammond ever gave to his characters. Basically, Sapphire and Steel were some kind of time agents who turned up and solved weird, spooky sci-fi-related mysteries. Were they human? Were they aliens? Were they ghosts? Who could say? But I found it gripping as a kid... especially the episode set in an abandoned railway station, the plot of which remains with me to this day, despite the show having never been repeated. (It's available on Britbox / ITVX though, and I keep meaning to rewatch it.)
Sadly, I couldn't find any pop songs that mentioned this wonderful series, but then I remembered another David McCallum show I watched as a kid... one that predated even Sapphire & Steel. It only lasted one series... but there are quite a few songs named after it (or at least, the HG Wells novel it was based on). So I'm going with those today. It was that or I started looking for songs that mention NCIS, a show which gave him a resurgence in popularity in his later years, and one which my dad watched regularly. Rest in peace, David, you were anything but The Invisible Man...
My antipathy towards U2 is well documented so you may be surprised to find them at the top of the page this week. But really, there weren't a whole lot of strong contenders... and I did want to give U2 some credit to make up for years of taking the mick. There was a point sometime in 1988/9 where I thought they may be OK. Not earlier - I still think The Joshua Tree is one of the most overrated albums ever recorded... but Rattle & Hum... that, I didn't mind. So here, for the record, is my favourite U2 song. It's not a long list...
Truly the late 80s / early 90s were a dire time for chart music. I was in my late teens at the time and the tracks above largely forced me to venture outside the charts for the first time in my musical history.
No other song will touch that, if only for the sheer majesty of Pearl's vocal (and Carl's ability to use only one side of his mouth whilst singing).
Initially, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, but George was kind enough to send me a link so you can enjoy it in all its glory.
That was the first thing to spring to my mind too, C. Though I still have nightmares about the awful Rod Stewart / Tina Turner version. The Sonny & Cher version (as suggested by Martin) is quite fun though.
I don't suppose anyone will mention that song about little boys by a certain person...although it was covered by Splodgenessabounds.
I loved that song when I was young. It breaks my heart that we can't listen to it anymore without awful connotations.
Martin was the first to observe that I have my work cut out for me this week.
As for "two", there are going to be loads, aren't there? Don't envy you collating them.
I'll let you into a secret... last week was training / CPD week at work. I attended all the training sessions online. But I also... multi-tasked. Which is why there was no pause in transmission this week.
So here are some. No doubt I'll forget something again this week, my mind is getting soft.
I think that goes for all of us after the past few months.
Yes, I know that's a 97... and we did feature it way back in 1984 when we were doing that week of the Hot 100 on Ceefax, before the interweb. But it's based on the two songs above, so I'll break loads of rules and throw it in.
Time for Douglas, who made the journey from Canada in record time this week...
Oh my, I somehow got here before The Swede published a list a clothyard long! I just have to get a few early suggestions in, then perhaps come back later after some real thought. For starters, since I (indirectly) promoted The Lucksmiths last week, here are two solid suggestions from the Australian artists of winsome wordplay:
Then of course there is the master of meticulous songcraft himself, the creative genius behind The Blue Nile (who births an album roughly every fifteen years):
Makes one want to smile and cry at the same time. And perhaps me especially after I discovered that the vinyl copy of the album from which it comes (2012's "Mid Air") which I purchased on release date for under $30 is now going on Discogs for something in the mid $300's. A better investment than real estate. And speaking of which, there is:
And for my usual Canadian offering, you could do worse than save some room for Montreal's beloved and finest indie rock band (no, don't worry, not Arcade Fire):
I'm allowing those last two, but I didn't want to open the can of worms that was "second songs" or we really would have been here all week.
On to Alyson, who was missing in action last week but returns full force this week...
So, so many 2 suggestions. I am struggling to come up with anything better than Party Fears Two so agree with that one and here's a little extract from when I wrote about that song after my trip to Dundee.
'It’s certainly a strange title for a song and tricky to understand the lyrics other than that a party is involved. Billy did explain the origin however, 'My wee brother was at a party watching two girls who wanted to come in. They were smashing windows and attempting to kick the door in with their stiletto heels, which he admired, so he christened them the Party Fears Two and I pinched the title from him.''
That's a great explanation. I love that song, especially the opening line.
Sadly, Alyson's other suggestions all fall foul of the the Tom Robinson Rule.
I figured there would be a load more 2am song, but it seems only Iron Maiden are hard enough to stay up that late. Anyone else who stays up that late appears to not be happy about it...
It's at this point that I have to give Rigid Digit a special award this week, for nabbing most of my top contenders in a very short space of time. Any of these could have been this week's winner. In fact, I had them listed together in almost the same order you presented them, RD...
I added the second Joe Jackson tune myself and seriously considered giving them joint winner status in the same way I had three winners last week. Sadly, a more obvious choice presented itself. But any other week...
Over to Jim in Dubai...
I fully endorse Swiss Adams choice of Party Fears 2, still sounds great and would be a worthy winner.
Now at this point in proceedings, I was feeling pretty smug about being way ahead of the game and well on track for a timely post with no overtime required.
Hi folks. Sorry I'm late. I culled this list of appropriate tunes from my hard-drives a couple of weeks back and have attempted to take out anything already suggested - apologies for any I've duplicated...
OK, time to pull an all-nighter!
At least The Swede started with two he knew would be on my list...
Let it be known, that in line with me keeping my sanity, I am going to heretofore limit The Swede to only 600 suggestions per week.
And after all that, I doubt very much that anyone will want to read my shortlist... although I think there's a couple at the top of my list that will a few of you kicking yourselves...
This week's winner was first suggested by John Medd, then seconded by Martin. It wasn't my first thought, but once it was out there, I couldn't think of anything any more appropriate.
Sam has taken to singing this song thus...
Woohoo! Abbamebaddawawa!
Woohoo! Dabbaweewawameme!
I've told him what the actual words are and he sings them once or twice, then goes back to the nonsense. Actually, I think the nonsense words are even more appropriate, since pure pop should be nonsense... and this is a contender for the purest indie pop song ever written.
Pleased ta meetcha!
Only one more to go. And there can be only one winner... but what will it be?
This week proved to be most problematic. Normally, I just put a number into the Search Title box on my music player and it gives me a clear list of all songs with that number in the title. When I did that for 19 though, I got thousands of songs - including all the year songs from the 20th Century, from 1901 to 1999, plus any Live recordings that featured a date (Live 1987) or similarly dated remixes (1996 remix). As such, finding songs that featured the number nineteen in the title became an impossible task. I kinda gave up and went by ones I could remember off the top of my head and your suggestions. Luckily, there were some crackers among those.
Bandwise, it proved similarly tricky. The 1975, 1990s and 1910 Fruitgum Company were all disqualified for having their 19 in the wrong place, and the only caveat I allowed for a dated 19 was that I would allow the year 1919. Fortunately, there was a postpunk band from Bradford with just that name...
Girl -19
Sadly, John, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, since putting the words "girl" and "19" into
a search engine led me nowhere. The only info I have is what you gave me...
I used to love this when I was, er, 19. It was their riposte to Alice Cooper's 18. Speaking of which...
Hold your horses, John, we'll get to next week soon enough.
OK, still before we get to the obvious choices, here's the few leftovers I managed to scrape from my hard-drive before the exercise became too futile...
To be honest, all three of those were in contention this week... along with the above-mentioned belter by The Courteeners... but it's Martin who takes the prize this week for recalling one of my favourite minor hits from the post-Britpop era, although lyrically it owes a debt to 70s singer songwriters such as Rupert Holmes... and a splash of Scott Walker to boot.
Next week we become adults at last... or do we? Your 18 suggestions are welcomed... and yes, I will allow the 18th Century to get a look in, as I'm hoping there are far fewer songs with dates in from that century than this one... and not many 18th century remixes or live recordings either.
Apologies. I got two thirds of the way through this countdown before life got in the way. But I don't like leaving things unfinished, so the Hot 100 is back... maybe not every week, but whenever I get the time. Your suggestions, as always, are very welcome.
Wretch 32, pictured above, is a popular grime star, apparently. We used to have grime round these parts, then we got a new window cleaner.
Way back in July, George wondered whether the unsavoury lyrics in this oldie might make it unpalatable...
And here's the Charlatans with the same song... but not The Charlatans you and I know, the Manc band fronted by Tim Burgess, no, this is the original Charlatans...
And that was it for your suggestions. But what did my record collection throw up? Let's see if we can go even lower than Mr. Mister to start with, and climb up from there, shall we?
It's Sunday morning, and though you may all be wishing to Enter Sandman for another couple of hours' kip, it's important you get up and check your answers to Saturday Snapshots. Nothing Else Matters!
Another close-fought battle yesterday morning with Lynchie & Ramone tying on two and a half points each, but Charity Chic pipping them both to the post with an impressive three - largely down to his expert knowledge of women with balls. Congratulations and thanks to all for playing.
10. Discrimination is beneath the construction crew.
Something a little bit different this week - the battle of the song titles! One song says it is, the other song says it's NOT. Which will win? Well, I'll name my winners... feel free to disagree!
This one was inspired by The Swede who posted one of these tunes a few weeks back. I liked it so much, I thought I'd dig out nine more and toss them in the washing machine...
Joe wonders where his Mondays went, while trying to find someone else to do his chores...
I want a French maid, someone to wash my jeans Each quarter I've made is lost in washing machines I'm gonna change the world, I could be President If I could just work out where all my Mondays went
An answer song written as the male response to Leader of the Pack. I remember hearing Brian Matthews play this years ago. It's quirky and kitsch, but can't hold a candle to the original.
