Celebrity Jukebox #101: Tony Bennett

Tony Bennett had a pretty good innings, didn't he? Over 70 years as a recording artist, working with everyone from Frank Sinatra to Lady Gaga, he always maintained his cool. Look at this performance from just a year ago... 95 and still delivering the goods. Wow.

The Jukebox obviously has lots of tributes to pay. Let's start with a track from an album called Did I Shave My Legs For This?

Hold your racing horses just one minute

A funny feeling coming over me

I'm hearing violins and Tony Bennett

Boy if this is love then I'm in it

Deana Carter - If This Is Love

It turns out Tony is an easy metaphor for all kinds of love and romance...

If you were my girl

We'd slow dance in a bar to Tony Bennett's "Sweet Lorraine" 

While I sang you every word

The Moxies - If You Were My Girl

...all across the genres...

You drove up in a powder blue corvette, it was a stingray

With Tony Bennett on the stereo and a rose stickin' out of the ashtray

You jacked up your shades and you smiled at me

You said "Hello." I said, "Oh no, here we go again..."

Mindy McCready - Lips Like Yours

...the agony and the ecstasy... yes, even the XTC...

Float up with the songbirds I'll croon and how we'll fill skies

Tony Bennett says he'll harmonise

It's a great day for loving you

Just loving you

Andy Partridge - Great Day

Beyond the hearts and flowers stuff though, we find a more intriguing reference...

And when I'm next in line I'm in it to win it
Playin' the lotto dreamy eyed like I was Tony Bennett
When I lose consolation rolls up in a minute
Toothless meth head offerin', mad clinic

Pan Amsterdam featuring Iggy Pop - Mobile

Plus the weird, obscure titular mentions...

Richard Leo Johnson - Tony Bennett

Although I was rather disappointed that the title below was actually a "featuring Tony" credit rather than a song about how Doc finds the old smoothy a bit objectionable...

Doc Severinsen - I Can't Get Started With Tony Bennett

And I was most disappointed to not be able to find this anywhere online...

The Untanned Hide Of A Young Cow - Tony Bennett

Our final lyrical reference comes in a song about another, slightly less famous, Tony, former Arsenal player and self-confessed alcoholic, Tony Adams. Joe Strummer's song is about finding a way out of addiction, and it's probably not the best tribute to Mr. Bennett out there... but it was my favourite tune today... 

I'm lost in a world beyond the lost city

I'm looking for a phone and I can't find one

Got a Tony Bennett eight-track in the hotel, pity

The moon turned around and shot someone

Snapshots #220: A Twelve Days Of Christmas Top... erm, Twelve

Here's a member of the Partridge Family. Yesterday, we had Steve Coogan, aka Alan Partridge. I couldn't find a song with Partridge in the title, which almost derailed this quiz. And then I settled on the perfect solution...

12. Alias Harry & Jones.

Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby Jr. and David Robert Jones.

David Bowie & Bing Crosby - Little Drummer Boy

Twelve drummers drumming...

11. Hayley's boy in Leningrad, as was (mostly).

Hayley's boy was Crispian Mills, the lead singer of Kula Shaker.

Leningrad is now known as St Petersburg.

Crispian St Peters - The Pied Piper

Eleven pipers piping...

10. This would be a royal scandal!

Imagine if Prince George was Harry's son!?!

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord

Check out the new video above, starring Mark Hammill, John Hamm and Weird Al Yankovich, among others. A lot of money was spent on it. I have no idea why.

Ten lords a'leaping...

9. No kilts.

Anagram!

KT Oslin - 80s Ladies

Nine ladies dancing...

8. Bernard Shakey.

When he directs movies, Bernard Shakey is the pseudonym he uses. Honestly. Google it!

Neil Young - A Man Needs A Maid

Eight maids a'milking...

7. Maiden on the Prosecco.

Iron Maiden and some fizzy wine.

Iron & Wine - Swans & The Swimming

Seven swans a'swimming...

6. Express, Trust, Park.

The National Express. The National Trust. The National Park.

The National - The Geese of Beverly Road

Six geese a'laying...

5. This is your one main sin.

"One main sin" is an anagram.

Nina Simone - Plain Gold Ring

Five gold rings!

4. Candymen (and women).

Shame on you if you didn't get this one.

(Or maybe shame on you if you did?)

Sweet People - And The Birds Were Singing (Et les oiseaux chantaient)

Can you believe that that got to Number 4 in the charts? In 1980!?

Four calling birds...

3. Shout a Smurf!

Anagram!

Rufus Thomas - The Funky Chicken

Three French hens...

(I think the French are quite funky. Don't you?)

2. Nothing to be scared of.

"Ridicule is nothing to be scared of," sang Adam, in Prince Charming.

Which gives me the opportunity to slip this in...

Anyway. Where was I?

Prince - When Doves Cry

(That wasn't actually a picture of Prince. But it was a Prince Christmas tree bauble. You can buy them on eBay. Or you might prefer to save your money.)

Two turtle doves...

1. Number One.

And because I couldn't find a song with a partridge in the title, I settled instead for this gentleman.

Andy Partridge.

Andy Partridge in a pear tree.

Here's a seasonal song from the man in question.

And, to close, the very best version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, from Father Jack himself, Frank Kelly...

Saturday Snapshots will return.

Just not next Saturday...