Sam and I spent a few days in Lincoln last week, on our annual Boys Only Summer Break (All U Can Eat breakfast included). Before we went, there were a few raised eyebrows... "Lincoln? What is there to do in Lincoln?" Apart from the obvious...
Well, we found plenty, thank you very much, starting with the above, the most impressive cathedral I've ever seen... we didn't go inside, but the view from outside was pretty awe inspiring. And it's right next to the castle, which we did go into... though we had to be careful to avoid the dragons.
Inside the castle, we also saw the Magna Carter... though even if with glasses on, I couldn't read a word of it. And we took a tour of the prison which, rather incongruously, had an exhibition about album cover art on the bottom floor...
Both the castle and the cathedral are at the top of a road called "Steep Hill". Considering how flat the rest of Lincolnshire is (particularly compared to where we come from), we expected this to be about a high as a molehill... BUT... it is actually a bloody steep climb. We needed a rest when we got to the top... fortunately, there was a lovely pie shop on the way up to provide sustenance.
A quick look back on the blog revealed that I did once compile a Top Ten Lincoln Songs, though most of them were about American presidents, cars and that place in Nebraska. Thank heavens for Dave Davies...
Every Halloween, I like to post a horror-themed Top Ten. In recent years, I've done My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs, My Top Ten Vampire Songs, My Top Ten Haunted Songs and My Top Ten Zombie Songs (although for some reason, I didn't post that one at Halloween). I was going to do werewolves this year, but it turns out there's something much scarier out there at the moment... and I don't mean Donald Trump. Louise has even made us buy new curtains in case we glance out and see one of these stood in our garden. And so, as a special Halloween treat, I bring you My Top Ten Clown Songs. Let's be careful out there...
Special mention to the scariest clown you'll ever hear: Harpo's Rock 'n' Roll Clown. Now I wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night.
Second special mention to the weirdest threesome in rock history... Joni Mitchell, Tom Petty and... Billy Idol: Dancin' Clown.
Final special mention to Insane Clown Posse. They're supposed to be scary, but I think they're hilarious.
Other fine clowns who were in the running include Elvis Costello (three times, actually), Neil Diamond, Admiral Fallow, Toby Keith, The Cocteau Twins, Jimmy Webb, Brett Anderson, Grand National, Status Quo and Manfred Mann... obviously. Yes, I could have done a Top 20, but I don't do those anymore.
Let's set the pace, shall we? In case you think this Top Ten's gonna be full of big shoes, cars with their wheels falling off and custard pies in the face. Here's Paul Westerberg's switchblade-carrying clown, angry that rumours keep spreading all over town...
This is the world we live in now, Turin Brakes. I picked up two of your albums (and one by Counting Crows), at 'three for a quid' in the local charity shop the other week. That said, I liked them enough that I might pay full price for the next one.
Last clown, drinking in a bar that's about to be closed down A hero, I was in people's plans I was shaking their hands I got lost in the world, slow motion walking and diatribe talking As bad as things be, I'm a natural survivor
By the time you reach the end of this list, you'll realise there's not one happy clown in sight. No wonder they all end up turning bad...
He used to honk his horn and everyone would laugh He used to honk his horn She doesn't think he's very funny anymore Footprints in the sawdust leading to the edge of town Something bad happened to a clown
Great track from last year's "comeback" album, Everything Ever Written.
The typical code of conduct At the international clown hall of fame Not to smile until you've painted on your smile You go looking for laughter Yeah, you could be another poet like
John Crowe Ransom, Whitman or Hart Crane All those words you leave behind Will fit together in time Like a clown You'll do anything for fame Tell me did you ever meet another clown Who said I'll be around for you now?
Dave Davies' only real solo hit (though I have featured one of his other, less successful, solo singles here before) is a resigned shrug towards the circus-like life of a touring rock star, co-written with Ray.
One of my favourites from Ron, although the live acoustic Ron-cam recreation above isn't as good as the album version. Great lyrics though...
Everything is alright for against the backdrop of ordinary life
It's the easy laugh that gets you through
Your working day and the hogwash
Sad but true, he's a clown in broad daylight
One of the saddest songs ever written. Hence it's been recorded by everybody from Frank Sinatra to Grace Jones, Lou Rawls to Madonna. I'm particularly fond of Mark Kozelek's latest version (not the one on youtube), but Judy's is the definitive recording. The song was written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical A Little Night Music, and he claims it's not literally about circus clowns: just fools like us.
1. Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - Tears of a Clown
And this is why Smokey Robinson is a god. Just listen to these lyrics: in a chirpy pop song, for Smokey's sake!
Just like Pagliacci did I try to keep my surface hid Smiling in the crowd I try But in a lonely room I cry The tears of a clown
The music was written by Stevie Wonder who couldn't come up with a decent lyric so took it to the Motown Christmas party and played it to Smokey in the hope he'd come up with something. He did.
Tears of a Clown is also one of the only pop songs to feature a bassoon. More on that here.
There are those who will tell you that The Beat's version is better, but they are men of a certain age (i.e. about 5-10 years older than me) and though it's a fine opinion I respect greatly... I must disagree.
Let's start with a bit of shamelessly contemporary country pop. We'll get to the more authentic stuff later...
9. Tony Rice - John Wilkes Booth
...like right about now. Written by Mary Chapin Carpenter, Tony Rice's song digs deep into the tragic tale of the actor who assassinated Abraham Lincoln in protest against the president's abolition of slavery, "in the name of God and Dixie".
The Nightfly is one of my favourite albums of the 80s, yet Maxine is probably my least favourite track on there. That's not to say it's a bad song - it fits the late night jazzy feel of the concept very well and tells a typically Fagen-esque tale of love and longing. There's a great sax solo too. But it's no New Frontier, I.G.Y. or Nightfly, is it?
Oh, and in case you were wondering...
While the world is sleeping We meet at Lincoln Mall Talk about life The meaning of it all Try to make sense of the suburban sprawl
Try to hang on, Maxine
If you're going to base your whole career on sounding like a tribute act... you can do much worse than choosing Bruce as your role model.
And I always dreamed of classic cars and movie screens
And tryin' to find some way to be redeemed
Bring a dollar with you, baby
In the cold, cold ground
Paddy McAloon would have something to say about that...
After the success of Death of a Clown and Susannah's Still Alive, Dave Davies' solo career (extracurricular to the Kinks) looked like it was taking off. Lincoln County sadly put an end to that when it failed to chart (except in Holland, where it made #15). A shame, because this also meant his proposed album, with the excellent title of A Hole in the Sock (of Dave Davies), was also shelved.
Some debate on t'internet about whether the song is told from the perspective of Jesse James or Billy The Kid. I have no idea.
What explodes like a fractal, pops like a light bulb
Looks really awful at four in the morning
Moves with a dead stare, coils around your ankles
Fangs long as neckties and strikes without warning?
Answers on a postcard.
All Is Dream was the album in which Mercury Rev came closest to disappearing up their own rabbit hole into wispy, dungeons and dragons fantasia. Lincoln's Eyes would be the prime suspect if it weren't so haunting and beautiful. Yet, despite being almost as impenetrable as Nick Kershaw's Riddle, it succeeds through a sly sense of humour in the last verse which makes it genuinely affecting.
What explodes like a fractal, pops like a light bulb
Strolls in like Joel Grey* at four in the morning
Armed with a big nose, fragile as a sea horse
Lives in your soul and loves you like I do?
*
3. Marvin Gaye - Abraham, Martin & John
I have no idea why Marvin's timeless tribute to Lincoln, King and the two Kennedies isn't on youtube, but I hardly need to link to it: you either know it like an old friend already or you need down purchase a copy immediately.
Written and originally recorded by Charlie Ryan back in 1955 - who actually was a hot rod racer (google it) at the time - but I have a definite preference for the 1971 cover by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen. Maybe it's the name, surely one of the greatest band names ever (not counting Kathleen Turner Overdrive). Question: can a cool name make you pre-disposed to like the band? I would have wanted to hear more of this band from their name alone... although my first exposure to them was through a late night radio play of this very song.
George Frayne IV, aka Commander Cody, did not always take lead vocals on his band's recordings. Indeed, on the album this track hails from (Lost In The Ozone), Billy C. Farlow is the lead vocalist on every track... except Hot Rod Lincoln.
Thus ends my limited knowledge of Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen.
1. Bruce Springsteen - Nebraska
I'm very much looking forward to seeing Bruce again this summer, revisiting The River with the E-Street Band (although it won't be the same without Clarence). But the dream would be to see him play Nebraska live the way it was recorded: just Bruce, his guitar, his harmonica and his cassette deck.
The title track starts out in Lincoln, Nebraska... before going full Badlands on us. One of the most powerful songs he ever recorded.
You want to know why I did what I did? Sir, I guess there's just a meanness in this world...
