Because I couldn't find a picture of Herb Alpert taking a photo, here's Herbie the car. He's going bananas for today countdown of songs with herbs in them...
(Oh, and in case you were wondering about Marlene yesterday, the surname "Dill" is apparently "from a pet form of the personal name Dietrich", according to the people who know about such things.)
10. Makes a lot of parkin.
Parkin is a ginger cake. Some debate on the interweb about whether ginger is a herb or a root veg. That doesn't matter though, because we're not here for the ginger, we're here for the basil...
Until recently, all I knew from Judy Collins were her 70s hits: Amazing Grace (which charted in 1970, 1971 and 1972) and Send In The Clowns (and I preferred the Streisand version). And then, within the space of a month, I heard two tracks that opened my ears...
The first track was this, from 1966, when she was but 27 years old. It's a performance that places her firmly in feisty Nancy Sinatra territory. It is a cover, but cleaner and slightly less dated than the original duet by Richard & Mimi Farina. And it makes me smile a lot more than Amazing Grace...
The second track was this, from the year 2022, written by Judy herself, now in her 83rd year and currently on tour across North America and Europe. And her voice sounds better than ever. This one makes me smile too, for very different reasons.
Good morning. Hope you're all having a Jolie Sunday, and not a Maleficent one. Hopefully you didn't have to raid any tombs to come up with the answers to yesterday's quiz...
9. Refusal to fantasise over Roy Orbison tune makes home a squash and a squeeze.
A Squash & A Squeeze is a kid's book by the author of The Gruffalo, Julia Donaldson. Probably the best kids' writer around these days. Anyway, it's about a house that gets very crowded.
Every Halloween, I like to post a horror-themed Top Ten. In recent years, I've done My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs, My Top Ten Vampire Songs, My Top Ten Haunted Songs and My Top Ten Zombie Songs (although for some reason, I didn't post that one at Halloween). I was going to do werewolves this year, but it turns out there's something much scarier out there at the moment... and I don't mean Donald Trump. Louise has even made us buy new curtains in case we glance out and see one of these stood in our garden. And so, as a special Halloween treat, I bring you My Top Ten Clown Songs. Let's be careful out there...
Special mention to the scariest clown you'll ever hear: Harpo's Rock 'n' Roll Clown. Now I wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night.
Second special mention to the weirdest threesome in rock history... Joni Mitchell, Tom Petty and... Billy Idol: Dancin' Clown.
Final special mention to Insane Clown Posse. They're supposed to be scary, but I think they're hilarious.
Other fine clowns who were in the running include Elvis Costello (three times, actually), Neil Diamond, Admiral Fallow, Toby Keith, The Cocteau Twins, Jimmy Webb, Brett Anderson, Grand National, Status Quo and Manfred Mann... obviously. Yes, I could have done a Top 20, but I don't do those anymore.
Let's set the pace, shall we? In case you think this Top Ten's gonna be full of big shoes, cars with their wheels falling off and custard pies in the face. Here's Paul Westerberg's switchblade-carrying clown, angry that rumours keep spreading all over town...
This is the world we live in now, Turin Brakes. I picked up two of your albums (and one by Counting Crows), at 'three for a quid' in the local charity shop the other week. That said, I liked them enough that I might pay full price for the next one.
Last clown, drinking in a bar that's about to be closed down A hero, I was in people's plans I was shaking their hands I got lost in the world, slow motion walking and diatribe talking As bad as things be, I'm a natural survivor
By the time you reach the end of this list, you'll realise there's not one happy clown in sight. No wonder they all end up turning bad...
He used to honk his horn and everyone would laugh He used to honk his horn She doesn't think he's very funny anymore Footprints in the sawdust leading to the edge of town Something bad happened to a clown
Great track from last year's "comeback" album, Everything Ever Written.
The typical code of conduct At the international clown hall of fame Not to smile until you've painted on your smile You go looking for laughter Yeah, you could be another poet like
John Crowe Ransom, Whitman or Hart Crane All those words you leave behind Will fit together in time Like a clown You'll do anything for fame Tell me did you ever meet another clown Who said I'll be around for you now?
Dave Davies' only real solo hit (though I have featured one of his other, less successful, solo singles here before) is a resigned shrug towards the circus-like life of a touring rock star, co-written with Ray.
One of my favourites from Ron, although the live acoustic Ron-cam recreation above isn't as good as the album version. Great lyrics though...
Everything is alright for against the backdrop of ordinary life
It's the easy laugh that gets you through
Your working day and the hogwash
Sad but true, he's a clown in broad daylight
One of the saddest songs ever written. Hence it's been recorded by everybody from Frank Sinatra to Grace Jones, Lou Rawls to Madonna. I'm particularly fond of Mark Kozelek's latest version (not the one on youtube), but Judy's is the definitive recording. The song was written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical A Little Night Music, and he claims it's not literally about circus clowns: just fools like us.
1. Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - Tears of a Clown
And this is why Smokey Robinson is a god. Just listen to these lyrics: in a chirpy pop song, for Smokey's sake!
Just like Pagliacci did I try to keep my surface hid Smiling in the crowd I try But in a lonely room I cry The tears of a clown
The music was written by Stevie Wonder who couldn't come up with a decent lyric so took it to the Motown Christmas party and played it to Smokey in the hope he'd come up with something. He did.
Tears of a Clown is also one of the only pop songs to feature a bassoon. More on that here.
There are those who will tell you that The Beat's version is better, but they are men of a certain age (i.e. about 5-10 years older than me) and though it's a fine opinion I respect greatly... I must disagree.
