One Final Halloween Snapshots Spillover

As it's Halloween, here's a final batch of horror film-inspired songs, starting with the Scream Queen herself. No, not Jamie Lee Curtis...

Kate Bush - The Fog

Next up, a track from the new Nick Lowe album, his first in eleven years. Apparently, he's spent the time catching up on movies like this...

Nick Lowe & Los Straitjackets - A Quiet Place

I couldn't let this series close without mentioning "the most amazing motion picture of our time", starring Michael Landon, presumably before he found God in Highway To Heaven...

The Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf

Up into the hills next, for an encounter with some inbred yokels... have you ever been to Holmfirth?

The Meteors - The Hills Have Eyes

Irena Dubrovna discovered she was descended from an ancient tribe of Cat People who metamorphose into black panthers when aroused. Just like Manimal!

The original version of Cat People was released in 1942. Forty years later, a saucy remake roped this guy in to contribute to the soundtrack... 

David Bowie - Cat People (Putting Out The Fire)

Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was banned during the video nasties scare of the 80s, so it became something of a holy grail to teenage horror fans like myself, desperate to see it. When it was finally re-released in 1998, I rushed out to see it. The film does contain one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever seen... yet it's nothing to do with the infamous chainsaw, or even Leatherface himself. Instead, the bit that got me was the dinner party scene when they fetch Grandpa down from the attic...

The Tyla Gang formed in 1975 following the dissolution of Sean Tyla's previous band, Ducks Deluxe. I suspect there's more than a whiff of bandwagonary going on here... 

Tyla Gang - Texas Chainsaw Massacre Boogie

The other classic horror film banned throughout my adolescent video shop days was Mark Kermode's favourite: The Exorcist. Hard to believe it's 25 years since the censors finally allowed me to watch that...

Curtis Mayfield - Sweet Exorcist

Redd Kross - Linda Blair

The less said about the 2005 remake of House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton, the better. The 1953 original though, with Vincent Price, was one of the first mainstream Hollywood movies to be filmed in 3D. I generally hate 3D movies, but I reckon it'd be worth seeing this one again with the glasses on.

I found a whole bunch of songs named after this flick. Here's a smattering of wax on wax...

Miss Destiny - House of Wax

The Alderman - House of Wax

Bruce Woolley & The Camera Club - House of Wax

Paul McCartney - House of Wax

Nothing beats a good haunted house story for me though. And that one to beat in that genre is the 1963 version of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, known simply as The Haunting.

Whatever you do, do NOT watch the 1999 version with Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta Jones. It's one of the worst films I've ever seen. 

Here are some post-Shane Pogues... so no way as scary as they used to be.

The Pogues - Haunting

And here's some Shane, in case you're missing him, along with Sinéad. I'm missing them both.

Shane MacGowan with Sinéad O'Connor - Haunted

Sadly, I couldn't find any songs named after the best haunted house movies of the 21st Century, the Paranormal Activity flicks, but I'm closing today with the film that got me hooked on horror movies back when I was a kid. I was obsessed with the Amityville Horror, reading all the books, watching all the films, and even looking favourably upon Lovebug Starski... 

Happy Halloween to you all. Hoohahahahahaaaa!

Snapshots Spillover: Even More Halloween Horror Film Songs

When I was a kid, I vividly remember the thrill of watching the old Universal horror movies late Saturday night on BBC2. You'd never see these classics on TV these days, and they're in danger of being airbrushed out of history for anyone other than ardent cinephiles... but we remember them today, starting with Victor (or Henry, as he was known in James Whales' film) Frankenstein and his monster, played by Boris Karloff...

The Edgar Winter Group - Frankenstein

That was the obvious tune, although curiously it only made it to Number 5 in My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs back in 2015...

Before you knew it, the Monster demanded a mate... in the form of Elsa Lanchester.

I couldn't immediately think of a song named after The Bride, but then I discovered New Zealand's Toy Love, who were on Flying Nun, so they had to be worth a listen. Here they are in 1980...

Toy Love - Bride of Frankenstein 

Todd Browning's Dracula was the first of many Universal films featuring the Lord of the Undead (and his family), although it's the only one to feature Bela Lugosi in the title role (unless you count his guest appearance in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein). Despite that, Lugosi is the actor most often associated with the Count, even long after his death...

Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

Dracula can be found in quite a few songs in my hard drive, but only one is named solely after him, from this Aberdonian indie band...

The Little Kicks - Dracula

The direct sequel to Lugosi's Dracula featured Gloria Holden as Countess Marya Zaleska, aka Dracula's Daughter. Which leads us nicely to Colin Meloy and co....

The Decemberists - Dracula's Daughter

Soon after that, Boris Karloff returned, not with bolts through his neck this time, but wrapped in bandages...

Benji Hughes - The Mummy

More bandages were wrapped around Claude Rains in 1933... although when he took them off, he disappeared completely. There's loads of Invisible Man songs to choose from (see here), but this was the obvious choice, still one of Declan's finest album tracks...

Elvis Costello - The Invisible Man

And now for a few more Universal Monster movies turned into songs...

The Frantic Elevators - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

(featuring the immortal line, "I'm an ugly sod, but it's not my fault")

The Who - Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde

Dave Edmunds - The Creature From The Black Lagoon

Sarah Brightman & Steve Harley - The Phantom Of The Opera

(Yes, I went there.)

Round Robin - I'm The Wolfman

Ah yes, The Wolfman. I used to be a Wolfman, but I'm alright nooooooooooooooooowwwwww. Etc. 

But did you know that the first Werewolf-based horror movie to be produced by Universal was not 1941's The Wolfman? 

Oh no. 

Six years prior to that, they released this beauty, starring Henry Hull as the... erm... hairy handed gent who ran amok in Kent...

How else could we close this post?

Snapshots Spillover: More Halloween Horror Films

Suede - The Living Dead

I do like a good horror film. 

I also like a bad horror film.

Black Francis - The Conjuring

Generally, I just like horror films. 

While my tolerance for many other movie genres has waned over the years, I've never grown out of the thrill of watching horror films. And I hope I never do.

For Halloween week, I figured I'd share as many songs connected to horror films as I could find...

Barbarian is the best horror film I've seen in the last few years. It's one of those flicks where you think you know where it's going, and then... woah, wait a minute, WHAT just happened?

INXS - Barbarian

Another strong contender for best horror movie of the past decade is the Aussie movie Talk To Me. Terrific supporting role for Miranda Otto in this too...

60ft Dolls - Talk To Me

I also thought Smile was pretty good, though a lot of true horror fans seemed to think it wasn't quite enough...

There are lots of songs called Smile. Here's the most obscure one I could find in my hard-drive...

Colenso Parade - Smile

One of the best British horror films of the last 20 years (actually, it's almost 20 years old... which just seems wrong) was The Descent. Great ending, though that was slightly undone by the unnecessary sequel...

Bob Mould - The Descent

I like films where the baddies wear creepy masks and you can't see their faces. The original Strangers movie was a pretty scary movie back in 2008, but like a lot of horror films, its impact has been diluted by too many unnecessary sequels...

The Kinks - Strangers

I'll have more of these later in the week, but we'll close today with a movie that already featured in this week's Snapshots, when I included a song by The Mock Turtles... largely because they were harder to identify than Jarvis & Pulp would have been. 

And while I think the original version of The Wicker Man is untouchable, I also have a soft spot for the gonzo 2006 remake starring Nicolas Cage. NOT THE BEES!

I refer you back to my opening comment: I also like a bad horror film.

Pulp's Wickerman is from their final, unjustly overlooked, album, We Love Life. Produced by Scott Walker, it's Jarvis at his best...

My Top Ten Movie Murderer Songs

Last week's post on Infamous (real life) Murderers was really only a warm up for this, my Halloween special for 2018. I spent far too many Friday and Saturday nights when I was growing up watching gruesome horror movies about some very unpleasant bad guys. And despite what Mary Whitehouse said, it never did me any harm...

...or did it? Mwuh-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!

Here's ten songs dedicated to the bloodthirsty "heroes" of my youth...

10. Jon English - The Shining

Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm not sure what's scarier... Jack Nicholson in The Shining, or Jon English in this.

Looks like hell, like hell, Jack Torrance knows it well
Look at it bubblin' in the boiler at the Overlook Hotel

9. Bloodhound Gang - Take The Long Way Home

The greatest trick the devil ever played... was getting you to listen to a song by the Bloodhound Gang.

Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go, Keyser Soze

8. Alice Cooper - He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)

Credit to the producers of Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives... quite a coup getting Alice Cooper to put on the hockey mask.

7. The Ramones - Chainsaw

The Ramones were evidently fans of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and its gruesome killer Leatherface. Though he doesn't get mentioned by name here, he play a big part in the song. For an actual Leatherface namecheck, check out The Wonder Years - Suburbia.

The Ramones also had a song called Pinhead... long before this dude arrived on the scene.

6. Sammy Davis Jr. - Candyman

The movie came a long time after Sammy's song... but it's still pretty damned scary.

5. Landscape - My Name Is Norman Bates

They're weren't just about Einstein.

See also Blondie - Kidnapper... a very dark turn for Debbie.

Hey, you've got an unnerving face
And twitching eyes like Norman Bates

4. Manic Street Preachers - Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman wasn't all bad. He was a big fan of Huey Lewis & The News, for one thing.

By the way, if you've never seen it before, I seriously recommend watching Huey's response to that scene (along with Weird Al Yankovich). No, seriously. You owe it to yourself.

3. Sleeper - Nice Guy Eddie

One of many amoral psychos in the Reservoir Dogs community. Any excuse for a bit of Louise Wener.

2. Space & Catatonia - The Ballad of Tom Jones

No, I'm not suggesting that the Welsh Wonder is a serial killer on the side, but Cerys certainly accuses Tommy Scott of being a scary psycho...

You're worse than Hannibal Lecter,
Charlie Manson, Freddy Krueger

1. The Meteors - Michael Myers

Pure psychobilly from the early 80s, paying tribute to the daddy of all movie murderers... the one who famously wears a William Shatner mask... Michael Myers. Happy Halloween!



Now I'm just going down into the cellar. Don't worry, I'll be right back...

My Top Ten Horror Actor Songs

It's Halloween - the night we all dread because the scariest creatures on earth roam the streets spreading terror and mayhem. No, not ghosts, vampires and zombies - children! Give me a werewolf any day over a belligerent teenager in joke shop fangs with a table cover of his head and a couple of sachets of ketchup. Like most sane people, we turned off the lights and hid behind the sofa till it was safe to come out.

While there, I realised that every year at this time I usually post a horror-related Top Ten... and I'd completely forgotten to compile on this year. So here - in conjunction with my Songs About Actors series - are ten songs which feature famous scary movie stars in one way or another...


10. Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

You've got to either start or finish with this one, haven't you? I never quite got the appeal, but it's OK once a year. Chvrches do an interesting cover though. As do Nouvelle Vague.

9. Redd Kross - Linda Blair

 A suitably freaky tribute to the girl they couldn't exorcise.

8. Lou Reed & Metallica - Brandenburg Gate

Boris Karloff, Klaus Kinski and Peter Lorre all get a namecheck in this... interesting... collaboration. Not as heavy as you might expect.

7. The Huntingtons - Let's Go To Haddonfield

Stumbled across this song about one of my favourite horror movies - John Carpenter's Halloween - and its star, the original scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis. The Ramones have a lot to answer for.

6. Garland Jeffries - Lon Chaney

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of the saddest films I've ever seen.

Oh Lon Chaney,
What's to hold you back?
The Wolfman's dead
And the old black cat is gone,
Like a memory faded from your past.
You look so sad,
With a face of stone,
Just skin and bone.
You're all alone,
With a hunchback's eye you live.

5. Jack Lukeman - Ode To Ed Wood

Cult genius or worst actor / director ever? I always had a fondness for Ed Wood, largely driven by the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp film which led me to seek out some of his work. Jack Lukeman does an excellent spooky tribute.

4. ZZ Top - Vincent Price Blues

This is both hairy AND scary. Honest: give it a spin... if you dare!

3. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Zombie Zoo

You look like Boris Karloff - and you don't even care!

2. John Grant - Sigourney Weaver

Those scary aliens gave Sigourney no trouble at all.

And I feel just like Sigourney Weaver
When she had to kill those aliens.
And one guy tried to get them back to the Earth.
And she couldn't believe her ears.

And there's a shout out to Winona Ryder in the second verse too: the scariest thing in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula was her English accent...

I feel just like Winona Ryder
In that movie about vampires.
And she couldn't get that accent right;
Neither could that other guy.

1. Warren Zevon - Werewolves Of London

Lon Chaney AND Lon Chaney Jr. - in the same song! And they're both walking with the queen...



Your suggestions always welcome. Just don't knock on my door with them tonight.

My Top Ten Clown Songs

Every Halloween, I like to post a horror-themed Top Ten. In recent years, I've done My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs, My Top Ten Vampire Songs, My Top Ten Haunted Songs and My Top Ten Zombie Songs (although for some reason, I didn't post that one at Halloween). I was going to do werewolves this year, but it turns out there's something much scarier out there at the moment... and I don't mean Donald Trump. Louise has even made us buy new curtains in case we glance out and see one of these stood in our garden. And so, as a special Halloween treat, I bring you My Top Ten Clown Songs. Let's be careful out there...

Special mention to the scariest clown you'll ever hear: Harpo's Rock 'n' Roll Clown. Now I wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night.

Second special mention to the weirdest threesome in rock history... Joni Mitchell, Tom Petty and... Billy Idol: Dancin' Clown.

Final special mention to Insane Clown Posse. They're supposed to be scary, but I think they're hilarious.

Other fine clowns who were in the running include Elvis Costello (three times, actually), Neil Diamond, Admiral Fallow, Toby Keith, The Cocteau Twins, Jimmy Webb, Brett Anderson, Grand National, Status Quo and Manfred Mann... obviously. Yes, I could have done a Top 20, but I don't do those anymore.

Here's the clowns that did make the circus...



10. The Replacements - Lay It Down, Clown

Let's set the pace, shall we? In case you think this Top Ten's gonna be full of big shoes, cars with their wheels falling off and custard pies in the face. Here's Paul Westerberg's switchblade-carrying clown, angry that rumours keep spreading all over town...

9. Malcolm Middleton - Crappo The Clown

And don't come to Malcolm Middleton looking for a red nose either. A broken nose, maybe...

Two people left in my world
One of them's a dick, can you guess who it is?
Can you win a prize?

Malcolm Middleton: he can destroy hope. Me, I find him perversely hilarious (but in a very different way to Insane Clown Posse).

8. Turin Brakes - Last Clown

This is the world we live in now, Turin Brakes. I picked up two of your albums (and one by Counting Crows), at 'three for a quid' in the local charity shop the other week. That said, I liked them enough that I might pay full price for the next one.

Last clown, drinking in a bar that's about to be closed down
A hero, I was in people's plans I was shaking their hands
I got lost in the world, slow motion walking and diatribe talking
As bad as things be, I'm a natural survivor

7. Warren Zevon - Something Bad Happened To A Clown

By the time you reach the end of this list, you'll realise there's not one happy clown in sight. No wonder they all end up turning bad...

He used to honk his horn and everyone would laugh
He used to honk his horn
She doesn't think he's very funny anymore
Footprints in the sawdust leading to the edge of town
Something bad happened to a clown

6. Idlewild - Like A Clown

Great track from last year's "comeback" album, Everything Ever Written.

The typical code of conduct
At the international clown hall of fame 
Not to smile until you've painted on your smile 
You go looking for laughter 
Yeah, you could be another poet like John Crowe Ransom, Whitman or Hart Crane 
All those words you leave behind 
Will fit together in time 
Like a clown 
You'll do anything for fame 
Tell me did you ever meet another clown 
Who said I'll be around for you now?

5. Everly Brothers - Cathy's Clown

Don't want your love anymore
Don't want your kisses, that's for sure...

The best opening Phil & Don ever wrote. It sold 8 million copies on 7" alone. John Lennon copied the vocal arrangement on Please Please Me.

Aussie band You Am I wrote an entirely different song with the same title. That didn't quite sell 8 million.

4. Dave Davies - Death of a Clown

Dave Davies' only real solo hit (though I have featured one of his other, less successful, solo singles here before) is a resigned shrug towards the circus-like life of a touring rock star, co-written with Ray. 

3. Ron Sexsmith - Clown In Broad Daylight

One of my favourites from Ron, although the live acoustic Ron-cam recreation above isn't as good as the album version. Great lyrics though...

Everything is alright for against the backdrop of ordinary life
It's the easy laugh that gets you through
Your working day and the hogwash
Sad but true, he's a clown in broad daylight

2. Judy Collins - Send In The Clowns

One of the saddest songs ever written. Hence it's been recorded by everybody from Frank Sinatra to Grace Jones, Lou Rawls to Madonna. I'm particularly fond of Mark Kozelek's latest version (not the one on youtube), but Judy's is the definitive recording. The song was written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical A Little Night Music, and he claims it's not literally about circus clowns: just fools like us.

1. Smokey Robinson & The Miracles  - Tears of a Clown

And this is why Smokey Robinson is a god. Just listen to these lyrics: in a chirpy pop song, for Smokey's sake!

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in a lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown

The music was written by Stevie Wonder who couldn't come up with a decent lyric so took it to the Motown Christmas party and played it to Smokey in the hope he'd come up with something. He did.

Tears of a Clown is also one of the only pop songs to feature a bassoon. More on that here.

There are those who will tell you that The Beat's version is better, but they are men of a certain age (i.e. about 5-10 years older than me) and though it's a fine opinion I respect greatly... I must disagree.





Which one honks your horn?

My Top Ten Haunted Songs

Have a haunted Halloween on me...


10. Shirley Lee - The Haunted

So much sadness is not good for you...

From last year's excellent double album Winter Autumn Summer Spring, the Spearmint man scares away the spectres.

9. John Fogerty - Haunted House

For the man who gave us Bad Moon Rising, living in a haunted house is no big deal.

8. Seth Lakeman - I'll Haunt You

When Seth Lakeman goes off to sea, his woman promises to be faithful. When the Dear John letter arrives, he threatens a punishment most eerie...

I'll haunt you, haunt your bed
Tap the windows, you'll wake in dread
I pray that you love me instead
I'll haunt you, I'll haunt your bed
And I'll haunt you, sleep in fear!
Whisper secrets in your ear
A world away but I'll be near,
I'll haunt you.

7. Dodgy - Melodies Haunt You

Not the Dodgy song everybody remembers, but certainly less dodgy than many of their Britpop contemporaries.

6. Superman Revenge Squad - Yeah, This House Is Haunted

Can't go wrong with a bit of Superman Revenge Squad every now and then. Great lyrics, as always.

5. Saint Etienne - Haunted Jukebox

From the new Saint Etienne album, Words & Music, which is really quite lovely in places.

4. Pavement - Haunt You Down
 
Just a guess here, but Stephen Malkmus might be seeing ghosts because of something he's been smoking. Hardly a case for Scooby Doo or Peter Venkman. 

3. Haunted Love - Werewolf

A seriously spooky song from a New Zealand band named after an old Charlton horror comic. What's not to love?

2. Gene - Haunted By You

From the pub to the grave
I'll be haunted by you
Yes, you, you're in my way

Seems as good a place as any to mention the long-awaited solo album by Martin Rossiter... if you haven't ordered your copy yet, find out more about it here.

Gene almost won their second Number One here on My Top Ten... and then I remembered this...

1. Sinéad O'Connor & Shane MacGowan - Haunted

As everyone's favourite Christmas record proves, there's something irresistible about pairing the drunken bum vocals of Shane MacGowan with an angel. Kirsty will always be the most famous example of that... but Sinéad comes a close second. Just beautiful.

The first time I saw you 
Standing in the street 
You were so cool you could have 
Put out Vietnam

Those were the most haunting songs in my collection... but which one keeps you awake a night?