Snapshots #391: Bad, Wicked & Evil Songs...

For some reason, these words kept coming into my head this week: Evil, Bad, Wicked, Sinful, Wrong, Corrupt, Fiendish, Dark, Despicable, Terrible, Horrible, Awful, No, Good, Repulsive. I've no idea why. But I figured I'd find some appropriate tunes to go along with them...

15. Jagged rocks.

Reef: "a ridge of jagged rock, coral, or sand just above or below the surface of the sea."

Reef - Repulsive

14. CMKT4.

Charles Michael Kittridge Thompson IV, aka...

Frank Black - Horrible Day

13. When a pidgin grows up, it'll make a lovely bunch...

Languages that starts as pidgin develop into creole. Add a lovely bunch of coconuts...

Kid Creole & The Coconuts - I'm Corrupt

12. They're so out of control, they could break both your arms.

Wild Swans - Dark Times

11. A dedicated trumpet player meets the builder of Brookside close.

Roy Castle knew a thing or two about playing his trumpet with dedication. The creator of Brookside was Phil Redmond.

Roy Redmond - Ain't That Terrible

10. Often encountered during a cholera epidemic.

Often encountered during a cHOLEra epidemic.

Hole - Awful

9. Call the orthodhauntist.

Spooky Tooth - Evil Woman

Yes, I know that the Orange Dictator isn't a woman. But I wanted to get Spooky Tooth in here somehow!

8. I let Weepy scramble my brain.

"I let Weepy" was an anagram...

Pete Wylie - Sinful

7. Your closest advisers. 

Inner Circle - Bad Boys

6. You could have chosen conkers, chestnuts or pine cones... what made you choose acorns? 

Why oak?

Wye Oak - Despicable Animal

5. Turner's furniture shop.

They took their name from the slogan on the store above, in Hull.

Everything But The Girl - Wrong

4. Money talks... on this safari.

Money talks, but it don't sing and dance and it don't walk, according to Neil in Forever In Blue Jeans. Add a bit of a Swinging Safari...

Swinging Blue Jeans - You're No Good

3. Curse Flanders!

Damn Ned!

The Damned - Grimly Fiendish

2. Never meant to make your daughter cry...

That's a lyric from Ms. Jackson by Outkast.

Janet Jackson - Nasty

1. Martin, you Yellow git! You're fired!

I sack Chris (Martin)... or to put it another way... Chris: I sack!

Chris Isaak - Wicked Game

Some less evil Snapshots next weekend...

Celebrity Jukebox #69: Veronica Lake

People are dying faster than I can keep up, so if you were expecting a Burt Bacharach jukebox... I'm afraid you'll have to wait till after half term. In the meantime...

When Veronica Lake's name came up in a clue for last week's Snapshots, Alyson commented "Who under the age of 50 nowadays would remember the gorgeous Veronica Lake?" Looking back through her filmography, the only one that's immediately familiar to me is The Blue Dahlia. But the jukebox has a better memory than I do... and so do the Coconuts.

Don't lay there in the dark without Veronica Lake

You should have left the wig at home

Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Lifeboat Party

I think it's fair to say that August Darnell is on the losing side of 50 these days, but here's a young man who isn't. He only graduated in 2013!

Always a battle dear, always mistakes

Violet lover - Veronica Lake

Take me in your arms, darling

I have been told I'm of marrying age

Brendan Steere - Adelaide Kane

And I can't work out how old Stephen Coates from The Real Tuesday Weld is, but let's given him the benefit of the doubt...

Like Veronica Lake in a New York diner

It may have been the sound of a stranger saying your name

The Real Tuesday Weld - You're Going To Live

Steve Wynn though, he's well past it. (How about I stop obsessing over everyone's age now? That's not what this feature is supposed to be about.)

A dead ringer for Veronica Lake

Jumped right out of my birthday cake

It's not like she was on the make

Steve Wynn & The Miracle 3 - If It Was Easy Everybody Would Do It

Here's a few titular mentions from the darkest recesses of the jukebox...

Ian North - On Veronica Lake

The New Bomb Turks - Veronica Lake

NQR - Veronica Lake

The Hellacopters - Veronica Lake

Labrador - The Ship That Sank To The Bottom Of Veronica Lake

But it's Peter Hammill of the legendary Van der Graaf Generator who closes proceedings for us today, if only because VDGG have never featured here before, in almost 11 years of me writing this blog. Pretty sure they never appeared on the old blog either. First time for everything...

Wear your hair like Veronica Lake

And he says you look ever so pretty

As he brushes the tear from your cheek almost tenderly...

Soon he'll be home

Hot 100 #54

Studio 54 was obviously going to get a mention in the Hot 100 this week, with Alyson, Jim and Rigid Digit all suggesting Chic - Le Freak...

Just come on down to 54, find a spot up on the floor, ahhhh

Alyson even wrote a whole post about this disco classic, which I'm guessing directed new player Alex G to get involved with another Studio 54- related suggestion...

Another song about Studio 54 is "Dario, Can You Get Me Into Studio 54?" by Dana and Gene. Whoever they may be! But the writer/producer behind it was the future Kid Creole, August Darnell, who later did a Kid Creole & The Coconuts version too, just titled 'Dario'. 

Bizarrely, even The Clash had a Studio 54 reference in Ivan Meets GI Joe, as identified by Rigid Digit...

Anything we should know about your change?
So you're on the floor at 54

Out of the disco, Martin offered a few choice treats, including...

Harry Nilsson, Take 54 - maybe not his finest moment, but includes the line "I sang my balls off for you, baby" which never fails to raise a smile.

You won't ever go wrong with Nilsson in my book, Martin! 

And not really my bag but Aphex Twin had this, 54 Cymru Beats,

recorded in Wales, perhaps?

Not really my bag either, but I'm sure it's nice if you're into that sort of thing.

Charity Chic was up next with this...

Wayne Hancock - Highway 54

So basically, his girlfriend runs off with his best friend but on their way out of town their car is hit by a freight train and they're both killed. Sign me up for more of that, Wayne.

Meanwhile, the Swede had a 54 band for us... bending the rules, but that never stopped us, did it?

'Listen to Louie' by Richie & The PS 54 Schoolyard

Bugaloo.

Then Alyson threw in this...

Sea Level had an instrumental called Sneakers (54).

While Lynchie (still MIA on a Saturday morning) offered up this...

The Ethiopians - Engine 54

However, it's another reggae anthem which takes top spot this week... as suggested by most of you (Alyson offered up an Aswad cover while Jim suggested a 90s dance version which had the same title, but as it was by a band called Partners Rime Syndicate, I was just too scared to investigate further).

The best song ever written about being nicked for smoking da weed? You decide...

Next week... number 53. Surely there's only one serious contender for that? Your suggestions gratefully received nevertheless...

Saturday Snapshots #62 - The Answers

Reach out and touch faith - it's your own personal answers to Saturday Snapshots. It was just A Question of Time.

Alyson took the Early Bird trophy this week, ably assisted by Chris, Charity Chic, Rigid Digit and a last minute save, all the way from Dubai (thanks, Jim). C took issue with the Siouxsie & The Banshees photo which turned out to be Siouxsie and a bunch of non-Banshees, for which I apologise... but it was the least recognisable Siouxsie photo I could find on the interweb. She has a pretty iconic look.

Even if you only got one of them right this week, remember... Everything Counts!

My explanations will be brief this week due to an impending visit from Ofsted. (Yes, they know check music blogs too. Not much chance of this one getting Outstanding.)


10. The search for Shatner with Gin prezzies.

Spizzenergi - Where's Captain Kirk?

9. Say Goodnight... but not to Car B... and get down with Gordon!

Irene Cara - Flashdance (What A Feeling)

8. This is a warning - keep away from men with hooked needles!

Jim Croce - Don't Mess Around With Jim

7. Charlie's cute royal sibling turns off the lights.

Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - I See A Darkness

6. Shelter from the bombs in a flower patch.

Lynn Anderson - Rose Garden

5. Occultists can't handle early mornings.

The Supernaturals - I Wasn't Built To Get Up

4. Ancient lines that connect donkey brays will guide us down the road this evening.

Richard Hawley - Tonight The Streets Are Ours

3. Native American wailing spirits play baby games.

Siouxsie & The Banshees (minus Banshees in the picture) - Peekaboo

 2. Sounds like Elvis's catfish has taken Nilsson's medicine with a buffet carrier. 

Elvis's catfish jumping on a pole was King Creole, Nilsson's medicine was Coconut, which sounds a bit like...

Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Stool Pigeon

1. Not the First Noel, after the crash.

Just Can't Get Enough? Don't worry, Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Until then... Enjoy The Silence!

My Top Ten Pigeon Songs

And so we reach my Top Ten Pigeon Songs, a post I wrote over a year ago... but I've been holding it back in reserve for the moment when I finally ran out of time to write any new ones. Luckily, it's half term next week, so hopefully I'll have a little more time to stockpile blogposts until Christmas. Otherwise... it may go a little quiet round here for awhile.

Anyway: pigeons. I like pigeons. Although I do seem to be in the minority. Here's ten odes to "rats with wings", some of them decidedly unpleasant...

Special mentions to The Pigeon Detectives and Lieutenant Pigeon.


10. Blur - The Woodpigeon Song

Obscure b-side... and, let's be honest, lads, it sounds like one.

9. The Uncle Devil Show - Sidelong Glances of a Pigeon Kicker

A one-off side project for Del Amitri's Justin Currie, this bizarre Beatles-esque pop tune was one of a handful of songs released by The Uncle Devil Show around ten years back. You could spot Currie's cynical tone a mile off...

A bird on the wing is a beautiful thing
With the exception of species whose speciality's faeces
So here's permission to land under the half brick
In my hand, in my hand...

8.  Genesis - Pigeons

Amazingly, this is post-Gabriel Genesis. Can't help but feel they were trying a little too hard to out-weird their former leader. From the Spot The Pigeon EP, which brings us nicely to...

7. Dick Dastardly & Mutley - Stop The Pigeon

Someone else who isn't a pigeon fancier. But how could I leave this out?

Mutley, you snickering,
Floppy-eared hound
When courage is needed,
You're never around.
Those medals you wear on
Your moth-eaten chest
Should be there for bungling
At which you are best.

6. John Prine - Clay Pigeons

I'm tired of running round looking for answers to questions I already know.

Written by Blaze Foley - now there's a great name for a country singer... or a burnt out detective.

5. Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park

Another classic slice of comic misanthropy... and pigeonthropy.

4. Cyndi Lauper - Sally's Pigeons

Cyndi recalls a childhood friend who's no longer with us.

Watch out for a young Julia Stiles playing teenage Cyndi in the video.

3. Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Stool Pigeon

Now if you wanna squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while...

Not about your feathered variety of pigeons, obviously. Kid Creole was cool.

2. The Handsome Family - Passenger Pigeons

Once upon a time, the Passenger Pigeon was one of the most abundant species of bird on earth. It was hunted to extinction at the beginning of the 20th Century... probably by the likes of Justin Currie, Tom Lehrer and Dick Dastardly.

Once there were a billion passenger pigeons
So many flew by, they darkened the sky
But they were clubbed and shot
Netted, Gassed, and Burned
Until there was nothing left
But vines of empty nests
I can't believe how easily
A billion birds can disappear

1. The Unthanks - King of Rome

Dave Sudbury's song tells the true story of Charlie Hudson, whose racing pigeon was entered into a 1913 race from Rome back to its home in Derby. But...

On the day o' the big race a storm blew in 
A thousand birds were swept away and never seen again

...and Charlie's bird was feared lost with them. But then, a miracle happened.

I was off with me mates for a pint or two 
When I saw a wing flash up in the blue 
"Charlie, it's the King of Rome 
Come back to his West End home 
Come outside quick, he's perched up on your roof"

Originally recorded by Sudbury, made famous by June Tabor... but this glorious version by the Unthanks and the Brighouse & Rastrick Brass Band takes some beating.




Ten pigeons set flying... but which one will win your race?

My Top Ten Gangster Songs

Let's go sleeping with the fishes... cement shoes optional.



10. Bruce Springsteen - Murder Incorporated

Always good to start the new year with a bit of Bruce... new album out Monday, boss-fans! (Can't wait.)

9. Fatboy Slim - Gangster Trippin'

Of course, I don't like dance music. Yet I always had a soft spot for Norman, as far back as his Housemartin days. This is one of his best - particularly the bit where he dips the tune in his bath and lets it slowly float to the surface.

8. Talking Heads - Gangster Of Love

In which David Byrne calls out Al Capone. I know who I find scarier.

See also this other famous Gangster of Love / Space Cowboy who speaks of the "pompatous" of love. (He made that word up.)

7. Alabama 3 - Woke Up This Morning

The theme tune to The Sopranos, of course. Although I never watched The Sopranos and I was into the A3 beforehand anyway. Really. I planted that flag. Shoot me if I'm lying.

6. Ice-T - O.G. Original Gangster

You could probably fill a horse's head with gangster rap songs. This is the only one I had space for... perhaps 'cos Ice namedrops Marvel Comics halfway through.

5. Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Stool Pigeon

Remember, if you want to squeal to the FBI, they can make a deal... make it worth your while. (And they like a guy who will stab a friend.) Ha-cha-cha-chaaa!

As Stephen Malkmus says in his excellent new song: "We grew up listening to the music from the best decade ever..."

4. The Specials - Gangsters

 Terry Hall dreads to think what the future will bring... when we're living in gangster time.

3. Catatonia - I Am The Mob

Ah, Cerys, much as I enjoy your folky solo offerings and eclectic 6Music radio show, I'll always pine for the glory days of Catatonia. No one could sing "When duty calls, I'm gonna bust some balls," in quite the same way.

2. Morrissey - First of the Gang To Die

You probably expected this to be Number One, knowing your host, the Top Tenmeister General. It's certainly one of Mozzer's finest moments of the 21st Century: a touching love song to his Mexican gang chums / fanbase. And it's not his only gangster record either - I could easily have gone for Ganglord or the majestic Last of the Famous International Playboys, his slightly dubious ode to Reggie and Ronnie Kray. Ah, but, but, but...

1. Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died

Go on, admit it, you really didn't expect this, did you? Not at Number One, surely? But they don't make 'em like this any more... some might say "for good reason". Me: I say, EMBRACE THE CHEESE!

Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be!



Sorry, Coolio fans, Paradise wasn't half a nice as any of these! But who's your Godfather...?

My Top Ten Daddy Songs

Still looking for songwriterly advice on being a dad, now I'm a daddy cool... 


10. Cliff Richard - Daddy's Home

I'd like to apologise... for having no shame. Seriously, though, if you can find another video that SCREAMS 80s camp more than this... while simultaneously being exceedingly creepy... I want to see it.

Look, it was this or more Eminem: My Dad's Gone Crazy (which, after choosing Cliff, you probably think I have). Eminem fans - come back next week.

9. Johnny Cash - Daddy Sang Bass

The Man In Black had a lighter side.

On a similar note, see Don't Make Fun Of Daddy's Voice by Mozzer.

8. Naomi Bedford - Daddy's Got A Gun

I picked this up as a free download on Amazon a while back. I must investigate Naomi Bedford further... this is a cracker!

7. Prince - Daddy Pop

Let's all celebrate a Prince song that's actually on youtube! Hooray!

6. The Lemonheads - C'mon, Daddy

A song about confused parenthood. As is this...

5. Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy

 I love the 80s. See also Billie Jean, obviously. "The kid is NOT my son!"

4. The Divine Comedy - Your Daddy's Car

 No, son, you can't borrow the car keys.

3. Nilsson - Daddy's Song

Fathers who desert their children feature heavily in another Top Ten I'm compiling. The experience obviously had a powerful effect on little Harry N.

2. Elvis Presley - Don't Cry, Daddy

On his own recent compilation of Daddy-related tunes, Deano claimed that "this song makes you realise how good Elvis’s voice actually was". I couldn't agree more. And whenever I hear it, I get a little bit sad that we live in a cynical, post-ironic age that might laugh at a song written from the perspective of a child who's lost his mum, trying to cheer up his broken-hearted father. This is a beautiful record.

1. Loudon Wainwright III - Being A Dad

Rufus and Martha have had much to say about their father's incessant need to chronicle their childhood in song... not always positive. This is the guy who famously wrote Rufus Is A Titman, about his baby son's penchant for breastfeeding (did that put Rufus off tits for life?), and Daughter (you ask me, Martha got off lightly!) But Being A Dad must surely be his crowning glory...

Bein' a dad isn't so bad
Except that you gotta feed 'em
You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em
And try not to loathe 'em
Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em
Bein' a dad can sure make you mad
Man, it even can drive you crazy
It's as hard as it looks
You gotta read them dumb books
And you end up despising Walt Disney

Who's your daddy?