Another one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions to jump-start our Friday conversations...
What's the worst experience you've ever had in a hotel?
Unlike the Frequent Flyers and Another Holiday Already? types that read this blog, I don't spend a lot of time in hotel rooms. Louise isn't fond of hotels, so most of our family holidays are spent in rented cottages. Sam and I brave a Premier Inn once a year for our annual boy's getaway - he's a big fan of the All You Can Eat breakfast. Imagine his horrid during the post-covid year when we booked into a Travelodge that promised "breakfast included" to discover that it constituted a Kellogg's variety pack (random choice) and a carton of Kia Ora. Never again!
Is that the worst experience I've ever had in a hotel room then? Sam would certainly say so. And I'm not sure I can think of anything worse... no rats or cockroaches or views of the local rubbish dump. I'm sure you guys can help out with that though.
My only other vaguely relevant anecdote today is from a holiday with my sister and her family in my teenage years. This was either Jersey or Brittany... I can't remember which, but they were the only two holidays I went on with them. File this one under disconcerting...
The cottage must have had three bedrooms: one for my sister and her husband, one for their two kids (my eldest nephew is only four years younger than me) and one for me. I'd reached the age where it was no longer cool to go on holiday with my parents, but I wasn't old enough to go off on my own... and I never had mates who suggested a week in Ibiza (thank GOD).
Anyway, I woke up one morning to discover that my pillow was missing. When I looked, it was over the other side of the room... wedged under the door, as though trying to stop someone or something getting in. I hadn't done that myself (not consciously, at least) so I wondered then... and still wonder today... how that happened.
Musicians spend more time in hotel rooms than just about any other profession, except travelling salesmen and Ernie. Most of the time, they're not trashing them and throwing the TV out into the swimming pool (that's just Ernie)... instead, they just sit around writing miserable songs about life on the road...
The most evocative of these doesn't mention the word hotel in its title, but it was the first track I thought of today. Anyone who's seen Lloyd Cole live in the last 25+ years will have heard him explain what a Spectra-Vision girl is...
Just another bunch of would be desperados Failing to pace themselves against the grain Strung out on semantics, Holiday-Inn vigilantes, Late night, early town Am I supposed to sleep, here all alone 'Neath the shadow of the mini-bar, with the promise of a Spectra-Vision girl?
What's the worst experience you've ever had in a hotel?
For some reason, these words kept coming into my head this week: Evil, Bad, Wicked, Sinful, Wrong, Corrupt, Fiendish, Dark, Despicable, Terrible, Horrible, Awful, No, Good, Repulsive. I've no idea why. But I figured I'd find some appropriate tunes to go along with them...
15. Jagged rocks.
Reef: "a ridge of jagged rock, coral, or sand just above or below the surface of the sea."
The term "genius" is often mis-applied, but in my book it's never been more appropriately used than when used to describe writer and director David Lynch.
This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top.
Much will be written about Lynch's legacy in the world of film and TV, and there's little point in me adding to that other than to say that he was responsible for one of my all time favourite TV shows (two if you count the sequel, which was a very different proposition... and a lot of people couldn't get behind that, but I did) and some of the most affecting, thought-provoking and visionary (another term that rarely gets used appropriately) movies I've ever seen.
Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world?
His death leaves a big hole. Even though he struggled to get funding to make his films over the last few years, I still held out hope we'd see more from him one way or another. And now he's gone. Another hero of my youth lost to the reaper.
People are frightened by what they don't understand.
This is the kind of question that fills me with joy, because if Sam cares what a song is about, he's clearly engaging with it. In the case of Moon Shadow though... I really don't have an answer. I have an idea... but it's not one that Cat Stevens, Yusuf Islam or Steven Demetre Georgiou appears to agree with. Neither is it an interpretation I see echoed by online "experts". Does this mean I'm wrong?
Any number of poets, writers and lyricists will tell you that when they let their words out into the wild, it's not up to them to enforce an interpretation on the audience. Some writers actively refuse to discuss the "message" behind their stories, preferring to allow the individual reader or listener to infer their own meanings. Sylvia Plath wrote...
"Once a poem is made available to the public, the right of interpretation belongs to the reader..."
Nick Cave agrees, saying that when he writes songs, he wants his listeners to come to their own conclusions. He refuses to "take away their power by attaching my own meaning to them".
This is the power of art - we add our own connotations, beliefs, prejudices, life experiences and emotions when we consume it. As I often tell my students: in English, there are no right answers. You just need to be able to explain your own interpretation so that it makes sense to someone else. They might not agree with you, they just need to be able to see how you've arrived at your conclusions.
Moon Shadow, then, is not - for me, at least - "softly tailored folderol from Cat Stevens [which] shows his whimsical side". Nor does it persuade me to "See life as it is, right now, and [not] compare it to others' lives, or other times in your life." Neither am I convinced of any religious message behind the lyrics, despite Stevens' later conversion from Christianity to Islam. Although interestingly, when that conversion took place, Yusuf Islam stopped singing any of his old Cat Stevens songs... except this one, which he later claimed was his favourite.
In 2009, Cat Stevens tried to explain Moon Shadow to Chris Isaak...
"I was on a holiday in Spain. I was a kid from the West End – bright lights, et cetera. I never got to see the moon on its own in the dark, there were always streetlamps. So there I was on the edge of the water on a beautiful night with the moon glowing, and suddenly I looked down and saw my shadow. I thought that was so cool, I'd never seen it before."
Which all sounds very positive, doesn't it? Over on the tube of you, people agree. Some call it "the ultimate optimist song". "There's something about the imagery of total freedom and dancing under the moon," says an old 'hippie kid', "which appeals to my wild self." Another youtuber, who says the song got them through a very dark period, explains, "this song is like, 'No matter how dark it gets, it can always be worse... but there's always light".
If you want to consider alternative interpretations to songs, youtube is definitely the place to look. In the past week, quite a few American commenters have suggested Moon Shadow as "the official song of the 2024 solar eclipse". While someone else can be found reminiscing over the time it was used in an episode of Airwolf with Jan Michael Vincent. This was my favourite though...
"Now I know why Moonlight Shadow sounded better in my childhood. It was actually Moon Shadow!"
And let's not forget this quirky little reimagining: an animated fairy tale devised by Cat Stevens and narrated by Spike Milligan in which a boy and his cat attempt to rescue the moon when it falls out of the sky...
Faced with this overwhelming barrage of evidence that Moon Shadow is a sweet, life-affirming tune... am I the only one who finds it creepy? And by that, I mean creepy in a good way. Creepy in an excellent way!
Yes, I'm bein' followed by a moon shadow
Moon shadow, moon shadow
Leapin' and hoppin' on a moon shadow
Moon shadow, moon shadow
Have you ever seen the movie It Follows? To me, the Moon Shadow is like the monster from that film. Some kind of weird supernatural entity that's following Cat around, menacing him, threatening to rob him of his hands, his eyes, his legs and his mouth...
And if I ever lose my hands
Lose my plow, lose my land
Oh, if I ever lose my hands
Oh if, I won't have to work no more
And if I ever lose my eyes
If my colors all run dry
Yes, if I ever lose my eyes
Oh if, I won't have to cry no more
The interweb suggests all this graphic body horror is linked to the time Cat Stevens almost died from tuberculosis back in 1969. His recuperation led him to reconsider his spiritual side, and may well have spurred the fears voiced in this song.
And if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan, and I won't beg
Oh, if I ever lose my legs
Oh if, I won't have to walk no more
(Meanwhile, back on youtube, there's always some Debbie Downer ready to spoil the party...
"All I can think of is the videos I have watched from Palestinians. The boy with no arms, a missing leg (and a missing foot and ankle on the other side). Listening to this, the day after the opening of the trial in The Hague. That tragic genocide has ruined this song for me.")
And if I ever lose my mouth
All my teeth, north and south
Yes, if I ever lose my mouth
Oh if, I won't have to talk
It's great that Cat can remain so upbeat - defiant, even - while being pursued by this vicious phantom... but maybe that's because his motive isn't escape. Let's not forget, this Cat is armed and dangerous...
Oh yes. And here comes the Edgar Allen Poe twist... the Cat wants to get caught!
Did it take long to find me?
I asked the faithful light
Oh, did it take long to find me?
And are you gonna stay the night?
Hooohahahahahahahaaa. Imagine those lines delivered in Vincent Price tones and maybe you'll get where I'm coming from. It's worth noting that Cat amps up his own delivery here, adopting a much more in-your-face singing style than the alluringly amiable tone he uses for the rest of the song. For me, that's the bit that confirms all my theories. Suddenly the tables are turned and the hunter becomes the prey.
"This song is really weird, dad? What's it about?"
It's about monsters, son. Monsters that want to eat - your hands, your eyes, your legs, your mouth. And it's about how to catch them... and make them pay.
In which Jon King gets rather upset by the evening news...
How can I sit and eat my tea, with all that blood flowing from the television? At a quarter to six, I watch the news, Eating, eating all my food As I sit watching the red spot In the egg which looks like All the blood you don`t see on the television.
Post-Diana, Motown drafted in Jimmy Webb to work with The Supremes. Although the resulting album didn't set the charts alight, it contains some absolute gems. Let's face it: it's The Supremes and JIMMY WEBB. What's not to love?
How long have we been waiting for the light to change? Long enough to know that green is dubious Long enough to know that there's no sense to us And the line is pretty long, yeah
Your starter for ten: name another song which features the word 'dubious' in its lyrics. (It is possible.)
This is one of those Jam singles that I always forget... and forget how good it is.
From this window I've seen the whole world pass From dawn to dusk I've heard the last laugh laughed I've seen enough tears to wash away this street I've heard wedding bells chime and a funeral march When as one life finishes another one starts... Alright then, love, so I'll be off now It's back to the lunchbox and worker / management rows There's gotta be more to this old life than this Scrimping and saving and crossing off lists...
1. Julian Cope - 5 O'Clock World
Originally recorded in 1965 by The Vogues and covered by any number of people since (The Proclaimers, Hal Ketchum, Bowling For Soup, David McCallum... sadly I can't find that last one online, so please help me out if you have it). However, it's Lord Julian of Cope who gives the definitive reading, rewriting the lyrics to include 80's nuclear war paranoia and mixing in a little Petula Clark along the way.
Bowie. Prince. Frey. Haggard. Rickman. Lemmy. Wogan. Shandling. Paul. Martin. Corbett. etc. etc. etc.
All gone.
Trump. Boris. Cowell. Kanye. Cameron. McIntyre.
Still alive and prospering.
Let's face it, these are the end times. But let's not be down. Let's celebrate instead with ten singers who know exactly where we're all going... and still plan on having a half decent time when they get there.
We'll start off this week with a blast of contemporary American hard rock from former Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen and her band. It's wrong in so many ways, and for admitting to liking it... well, you know where I'm going.
I'm starting to think The Long Blondes were one of the last great British indie bands. Post Britpop, they never really made it as big as they should have, and their career was cut short when guitarist and songwriter Dorian Cox suffered a stroke in 2008. They're still missed. (Although lead singer Kate Jackson releases her debut solo album very soon.)
I never grow tired of listening to Kathleen Edwards, one of Canada's finest musical exports... even though she appears to have put her glorious voice on ice for a while to concentrate on running a coffee shop. That's a sign of the times, right there...
Ah, the 80s: so much to answer for. Chris Rea's biggest hit became synonymous with a particular type of uncool dadrock that Alan Partridge would have turned up to 9 1/2 in his Kia Optima and wound the windows down while cruising up the M6. But leave all that aside and this is still a wonderfully atmospheric slice of blues-rock aided greatly by Rea's gravelly growl, particularly if you listen to the full 7 minute version.
I do like Gerard Way. He's a proper pop star. He's nicked bits from Bowie, Freddie, Alice Cooper: he understands the theatrical nature of rock 'n' roll... this one even steals its rhythm from Susanna by The Art Company. He knows his stuff. Pity his solo record was a weak stab at Britpop (!) and he seems to be focussing his attention these days more on writing comics than dressing in silly black clothes and pogoing into the crowd.
If anyone was going to end up in Hell, Robert Johnson was a good bet... considering that deal he made at the crossroads to get him where he got (arguably creating popular music while he was there).
On this track, the devil comes calling for Robert. It was only a matter of time...
Because he was such an influential artist, I felt it important to own every single Robert Johnson recording. It's not hard to do - they fit comfortably on a double CD, including the alternative versions.
Me & The Devil Blues has been recorded by everyone from The Doors to Cowboy Junkies to Gil Scott Heron (and Clapton, obviously). But none of them ever tried to beat Bob...
As usual, Tom hits the nail on the head. What is he building in there?
Why be sweet, why be careful, why be kind? A man has only one thing on his mind Why ask politely, why go lightly, why say please? They only want to get you on your knees There's a few things that I never could believe
A woman when she weeps A merchant when he swears A thief who says he'll pay A lawyer when he cares A snake when he is sleeping A drunkard when he prays I don't believe you go to heaven when you're good And everything goes to hell, anyway
I was a big fan of Chris Isaak back in the early 90s, but he'd slipped off my radar somewhat until I heard him on Bob Harris a few weeks ago. This song in particular sold me on his latest album (2015's First Comes The Night), which turned out to be a terrific set of classic (original) rock 'n' roll songs. As on his most famous songs from back in the day (Wicked Game, Blue Hotel, San Francisco Days), he still owes a great debt to the Big O, but there's a wicked sense of humour at play amid the heartbreak: and Down In Flames is a song Elvis would have given his star spangled jumpsuit for in his latter days. (Well, except for that one line at the end of the second verse...)
James Dean bought it on the highway
Marilyn found it in a pill
Elvis died – or did he? – they're looking for him still
Some go soft and quiet
Some go out with a bang
Well it's way too late for the pearly gates I'm going down in flames
Down in flames
Down in flames
When the good times end and they count my sins
I'm going down in flames
Isaak claims to be a very bad boy in this song, but he seemed like a genuinely decent bloke when I heard him interviewed. Very funny and down-to-earth with a real passion for playing music live, even if he's no longer blessed with hits. But he'll be 60 this year and he doesn't look a day over 35... so maybe he did do a deal sometime in the early 90s that sealed his fate.
There are two distinct versions of this classic Morrissey tune. There's a typically jangly guitar-led live version which originally appeared on the Live at KROQ release and as the b-side to My Love Life. And then there's the mournful, piano-based torch original which closes the unfairly maligned Kill Uncle album, and still remains one of the most beautiful things Moz has ever recorded. Bizarrely, on Kill Uncle's 2013 re-issue ("repackage, repackage"), the latter was replaced with the former, which diminshed the whole album's impact greatly. Whoever was responsible for that switch... well, there's a warm place for you down below...
1. AC/DC - Highway To Hell
When songwriters die, we suddenly hear their lyrics in an entirely different way. That's been proved time and time again this year, from Bowie to Prince, Lemmy to Glenn Frey. But rarely was it more true than back in 1980 when Bon Scott drank himself to death in a Renault 5. Highway To Hell was Scott's last album, and many see the lyrics - particular those of the title track - as a great one-fingered salute to all those who were telling him to slow down.
Goin' down
Party time
My friends are gonna be there too
It's strange - but gratifying - the way AC/DC have become accepted by the masses over the last few years. You'll regularly hear tracks like Highway To Hell and Back In Black played on Radio 2 - a station that wouldn't have touched them 30 years ago. Bon Scott may be long gone... but he'll never be forgotten. I hope he's having a good time down there.
Which one will you be listening to when you reach your final destination?
The bloke from Train looks like a Hollywood version of David Gedge. Doesn't sound quite as good...but there are far worse ways to spend 4 minutes of your life.
Probably my favourite song by The Lucksmiths. If you've never heard them before and you're wondering what they sound like, the fact that they also have a song called There Is A Boy That Never Goes Out might give you a clue to their influences...
There appear to be numerous comedy routines which lead exhaustively to the punchline, "I left me harp in Sam Clam's Disco". I advise you to ignore them all.
Being that they hail from the city by the bay, it's no wonder that Mark Eitzel and co. have written a few songs about it (they even named an album after it).
A city built by fire trucks!
Dirty old bastards drunk on love
And mean old queens who never forgive
The compromises they made to live
One of Stephin Merritt's most beautiful love songs, as performed by Shirley Simms on the majestic 69 Love Songs...
Come back from San Francisco and kiss me; I've quit smoking.
I miss doing the wild thing with you.
Will you stay? I don't think so, but all I do is worry, Pack bags, call cabs, and hurry home to me.
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham...
...is probably the lyric that made me fall in love with the Arctic Monkeys way back when.
Sad to hear that in the video edit, they replaced the line, ""The band were fucking wank
And I'm not having a nice time." with the far less interesting, "The band weren't very good..."
1. Chris Isaak - San Francisco Days
Probably my favourite Chris Isaak record, there's a real aching melancholy to his voice.
