4. Don't make her... You wouldn't like her when she's...
Fans of the old Incredible Hulk TV show will recall that Bill Bixby frequently told investigative reporter Jack McGee: "Mr. McGee, don't make me Ann Lee... you wouldn't like me when I'm Ann Lee."
I will confess that I had never heard of Ann Lee before compiling this list. However, I was short on ladies this week and Ann did get to #2 in the charts in 1999 with the two times tune above.
3. That sunshine's a scorcher, Superman.
Donovan sang about a Sunshine Superman. Jason, as seen above (at #15, if not in the photo) was a Scorcher.
Another one of those Jason Donovan songs that me and my mate Richard used to sing along to on the school bus when we were 16. Richard was a big fan of the Pet Shop Boys and The Smiths. I liked Springsteen and Huey Lewis. We would have told you we were just being ironic. But were we really?
2. Living in Portugal, DuBois.
Our resident Maths teacher lives in Portugal. Benson Dubois.
Oh no! I tried to find a picture of Bill Maynard holding a camera, to remind you all of the TV show Oh No, It's Selwyn Froggitt... but sadly, I failed. So here's Chris Hemsworth instead. Same difference?
"TV theme from the late 60s series about three 'swinging chicks' sharing a groovy pad in London."
I'm too young to remember that, but I bet it was groovy.
OK, deep breath everybody... here comes The Swede!
(I should add that I have edited The Swede's list this week, but only to remove the Christmas songs, because we're about as far away from Christmas as it is possible to get.)
More of an instrumental break, really, but I do love the album this comes from. I am not going to allow you The Stand Ins, Two & One over the next two weeks though.
You might not expect it of me, but I always loved the KLF. While most other dance music in the late 80s / early 90s made me want to put my head in the oven, Bill Drummond always made me smile.
I'll go for anything off Squeeze's Packet of 3 EP, though 'Cat on a Wall' would be my lead track. Doesn't count, you say? Breaking some sort of code violation? Can't you invoke a Mornington Crescent style override? Go on, you know you want to!
With only two weeks (three if I can be bothered with a zero postscript - the jury's still out) left, I'm feeling charitable.
By the way, if anyone wants to know what my hair looks like in Week 732 of Lockdown, I suggest you take a look at Tony Orlando in that video. I keep my chest hair under wraps though.
I also think that video was shot in Greenhead Park in Huddersfield.
All of which brings us to Douglas, who's still smarting that I compared one of his suggestions last time to his less than distinguished countrymen, Nickelback...
I will start by facetiously suggesting for your consideration a trinity of provocative suggestions that are designed to get revenge for your Nickelback allusion of last week, which on behalf of all Canadians I express offence taken at (but you knew that was coming because you were already ducking):
U2 - The Three Sunrises (who of course also have an album entitled "Three", don't they? Sure to get them extra points...)
Looked all over for that one, but couldn't find a link anywhere. It wasn't in my garbage disposal unit or the u-bend on my toilet, which seemed the most obvious places to look.
That, on the other hand, I had to look for, just to confirm my worst fears. On the positive side, the clip I found was less than a minute long and sing sang for almost half that time.
(I should clarify at this point that I don't hate Sting in the same way as I hate Bonio and The Hedge. I liked many Police songs and even the occasional sing solo tune - I featured my favourite in this week's Saturday Snapshots. Despite that, he's too easy a target for mockery.)
Oh, and in case you were wondering, here's another clip that's less than a minute long...
Phil Collins - Three Brothers(from Disney's Brother Bear soundtrack, no less, though sadly Phil does not actually sing on this one)
I'm sure many people will take issue with your use of the word 'sadly' there, Douglas... but anyway, onto your proper suggestions. Now you've had your revenge...
Now that I have got that off my chest,with greater seriousness, I would offer you a few better selections from what my hard drive pulled up in the following:
For those who do not know this last band, but may be fans of the late Lucksmiths, check them out. They are three of the four original band in Marty Donald, Mark Monnone and Louis Richter but with Noah Symons newly added on the drums. They have a more lo-fi chaotic sound than the polished harmonies of the Lucksmiths, but much of the same sophisticated and wry lyrics. Interesting.
You all realise at this point that I need to invite Douglas to contribute a Guest Post Thursday sometime soon, don't you? (Not just to stop him adding to my workload on the Hot 100, because, let's face it, there's only a couple of weeks of that remaining.)
Then, of course, the Canadian in me, still smarting from the mention of Chad Kroeger, would like to represent our country a lot more palatably with the consideration of:
(And while I'm cross-promoting, you should have been here a couple of Saturdays ago, Douglas, when it took everyone a bloody long time to guess The Tragically Hip on Saturday Snapshots... even with my hilarious 'dem bones; clue.)
And if you insist on the labelling Canada with the alt-rock/alt-metal brush, we have a band called Three Days Grace you should check out. Perhaps the following, which has garnered 264 million views on Youtube, would adequately express your thoughts on the genre:
You know what, I quite liked that. Although a little bit of research revealed that their current lead singer was in another band previously who were discovered and signed by Chad Kroeger. Small world, eh?
...And just to let you know that you are doing a good service to promote great music, a couple of weeks ago, Brian suggested the song "7 Compton Street" by a group I confess to never having heard of before, Me and Dean Martin. Your comment that they sounded a lot like the Smiths intrigued me and I gave the link a listen, and rather liked the track a goodly bit, leading me to check out whatever other selections were on Youtube, and eventually ordering a copy of the album "Let's Romanticise Our Youth". The shiny piece of vinyl arrived in the mail today, and it is turning on the table as I write. Very enjoyable. So in honour of the service you are doing, I propose that the band gets a second chance at stardom, from the same LP:
And they still sound like The Smiths. But thanks again to Brian. Speaking of whom...
Thanks for taking the time to type that, Douglas. This makes my day. Some stellar threes on this list. I especially wish I had been the first to suggest Wire, Orange Juice, Ian Dury and the Selecter. My winner, as suggested by Adam, would be Television Personalities with Three Wishes. Here are a few more I like...
Are ordinal numbers a rule breaker?(If they were, a third of the songs on this list would be gone.) If not, Ramones should take this thing with 53rd and 3rd.
Sadly though, that does fall foul of The Tom Robinson Rule, which we've done pretty well to avoid breaking this far this week.
OK, that's almost it for your suggestions this week. Here's a selection from my own hard-drive not mentioned above. We'll start with a very strong contender...
Finally, I'd just like to point of that the Tom Robinson Rule has prevented this from taking the trophy both this week and next. Damn that Tom Robinson Rule!
And for that, we have to go back to Martin, who began his suggestions this week thus:
I like how you teased De La Soul in your closing line, Rol, but that's just called "The Magic Number", isn't it, so I can't pitch that one.
What Martin appears to have forgotten, however, is this...
Which is a more direct cover of the original song (that De La Soul adapted), by Bob Dorough (also suggested by The Swede), which was originally written for an educational TV show called Schoolhouse Rock...
And so this week, we have not one winner... but three. Which seems rather appropriate.
American metal band 36 Crazyfists (named after a Jackie Chan movie) welcome us back to the Hot 100 countdown after a week's break. Let's get straight onto your suggestions...
Martin started us out with what may well seem the obvious one. Alyson seconded this and added a little extra commentary...
The song was written over 25 years ago but nothing seems to have changed, in
fact in anything things have got worse. Red haired singer Briana
Corrigan left the band because of it, feeling that the lyrics criticised
the glamour models rather than the industry that pays them.
What
are we doing to a large chunk of the female population who seem to
think the route to happiness and success is still via grossly enlarged
chesticles. Argh.... Sorry rant over!
No need to apologise, Alyson, you can rant here anytime you want.
To be honest, that was almost this week's winner as I used to love that song, but Mr. Heaton has done pretty well out of this countdown so far, so I decided to go in a different direction.
Ow, she's a brick house Well put-together, everybody knows This is how the story goes She knows she got everything That a woman needs to get a man, yeah, yeah How can she lose with the stuff she use 36 24 36, oh what a winning hand
Beyond
the gleeful 70s objectification of larger ladies, you can imagine
British DJs having to bite their tongue every time they played this
record so as not to add an extra word to the title.
How about a groovy foot-stomping early '60s instrumental from The Shadows - 36-24-36 (no idea what it's about though, a phone number
perhaps or a bank sort code?)
Did they have sort codes in the 60s?
Finally in this particular subsection, Bobby Bland knows a lady with similar dimensions...
Placebo - 36 Degrees (That would have taken the bronze medal this week from me.)
However, Lynchie, Charity Chic and Rigid Digit all agreed on this week's winning tune. Not that this is a democracy - your votes really don't count. Not unless I agree with them. (Insert your own comment about the current establishment here.) Luckily, I did agree... Jesus Of Cool is a great album!
Next week - the minimum age requirement to stand for election as President of the United States of America. Age requirement, not IQ. Any ideas for 35?
We went to Manchester today for a special VIP screening of Paddington 2, arranged by Louise's former employers. By the time we got back, the answers were all but sorted...
10. Political liars give Muffet top marks.
Spin Doctors are political liars.
If Little Miss Muffet got top marks, she would be Little Miss Can't Be Wrong.
One of those bands the musos always turn their noses up at, but I always loved this one - more than their bigger hit, Two Princes. At least Martin has no shame.
I probably over-egged the clue on this one, but I wasn't sure you'd remember it otherwise. Charity Chic probably recognised the picture and didn't even read the clue...
8. Crazy clerics on the road to narcissism.
Way too easy, but I couldn't resist this picture. I'll give this one to Rigid Digit just to stop Martin hoovering up all this week's points.
A Captain in the Navy is one rank below a Commodore (or something... go look it up yourself).
Children of the 80s will remember the Commodore 64 (although I myself had a Spectrum 48K - keeping it British... and crap).
There is a colloquial expression "built like a brick shithouse"... I'm not sure whether they say this in America, but Brian seemed to know what I was talking about.
I never learned to touch type. In fact, though I can type pretty damned fast, I only do it with one finger (two if you count the one on the shift key). If I was learning to touch type though, I might use this pangram...
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
Mykonos is "The island of the winds" (according to Iffypedia, anyway).
I didn't know that Gloria Jones was also Marc Bolan's girlfriend until I researched this post.
2. Russian landmark turns 3D because of the U.S.
Red Square is a famous Russian landmark... which would become Red Cube... or Red Box in 3D.
Martin got that too... but couldn't work out the rather obvious song "because of the U.S.". Really Martin? They only had two hits! Luckily, RD came to the rescue.
1. Resignation In Lieu Of an old Neighbour. Serving up food for #4.
Really difficult to come up with a clue for this band. I have no idea what Rilo is: the internet tells me it related to the above acronym, but I don't know if that's anything to do with the name of Jenny Lewis's former band... or if Miss Minogue was an inspiration either. But I do love this song, it has one of the best guitar hooks I've ever heard (specifically the bit after she sings "And then there is no mystery left" about 45 seconds in... and it crops up again later). I don't know why it affects me so much; I don't normally get hung up on guitar riffs.
Well done to CC, anyway.
Thank you all for taking part, as always. I'm glad you try to guess them before clicking on the comments section and reading everybody else's answers.
