As we get closer to Halloween, the dead are starting to walk...
THE ZOMBIES #1
The Dawn of the Dead happened in St Albans. Comprising a
minor league Who’s Who of 60s/70s British songwriting royalty – Colin
Blunstone, Chris White, Rod Argent. “Perhaps too unique to find mass mainstream
success,” says a critic on AllMusic. But they did pretty well for themselves
despite that…
Blunstone & Argent both claim they had no idea what a
Zombie was when they chose the name in 1962 (before that, they’d been The
Mustangs.) They packed in being Zombies at the end of the 60s, but were
re-animated once in the late 80s (not quite 28 Years Later) and again at the
beginning of the noughties.
Led by Bernardo Bonezzi, these Zombies were heard plaguing the Spanish
charts between 1979 and 1982. Mixed glam rock and new wave influences,
according to a dubious iffypedia translation.
We’re back to listening to the in-car CDs I’ve created over the past 12 years to introduce my son to as wide a range of quality pop music as possible... before I lost him to Imagine Dragons and Juice WRLD.
Ernie was the next to suggest a CD number for me to go through track by track, and (given that I advised people to only choose a number between 30 and 150) he picked one of the earliest compilations available. This means, of course, that the following CD will feature more obvious radio hits and serious pop “bangers” than either of the CDs we’ve looked at so far. Although there might be a few surprises along the way…
Track 1: Queen – Flash
I’m going to try as hard as I can from now on to avoid commenting on other people’s musical prejudices and pretend that everyone likes everything I do. Besides, I’ve probably expressed my disappointment, frustration and bewilderment at the Anti-Queen Bias that exists in many areas of the blogosphere too many times before, and you can't change the course of mighty rivers by using nice words.
Flash, then. The theme tune to the 1980 movie version of Flash Gordon, starring former American footballer Sam J. Jones, with some actual acting support from Max Von Sydow, Topol, Timothy Dalton, and… of course… Brian Blessed. I was eight when this movie came out, so I’m pretty sure I saw it at the cinema and thought it was great. In retrospect, it’s not a classic, but the average eight year old isn’t Mark Kermode, is he?
When my sister bought me Queen’s Greatest Hits a few years later, Flash was nestled away in the middle of side two. Because that was the first album I owned, I played it till the grooves wore out, till I knew every song by heart, till they were indelibly scratched into my psyche. Soon after I began tracking down the albums these songs originated from… and of those, Flash was the biggest disappointment. Because it’s a soundtrack album really – it shouldn’t have been marketed as Queen’s 9th Studio Album. Most of the tracks are instrumentals, not full songs, designed as exciting background music to the film, but not really what a teenager wants to listen to in their bedroom when they’re used to proper Queen albums like A Night At The Opera or New of the World. No wonder Flash was the only single released – it’s the only proper song, although even then that's mostly down to John Deacon's bassline and the occasionally flash of Mercury/May overkill.
There’s also a liberal peppering of dialogue from the movie, which brings us to the best thing about this song… and probably the best thing about the whole flick: Brian Blessed. As Prince Vultan, ruler of the Winged Bird-Men, he gets to bellow* the iconic two word line: “GORDON’S ALIVE!” and even Freddie Mercury has to take a back seat to that.
(*Actually, in our memories, that's a bellow. But actually, it's more like a whisper. Except... well, it's a Brian Blessed whisper.)
Finally, if you can’t bring yourself to listen to this song because of Years of Insidious Indoctrination by the Arbiters of Cool, here’s another fine tune with the same title, but no obvious connection to the Alex Raymond comic strip…
"Flash! Flash I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!"
Track 2: Toni Basil – Mickey
Children of the 80s rejoice! Here’s one of the best pop songs of 1982, criminally held off the Number One spot by Tight Fit. It was originally, as I’m sure you’re all aware, a track from Racey’s 1979 album Smash and Grab, where it sounded like this…
…but Antonia Christina Basilotta made it her own, adding cheerleader chants, uniform and pigtails… long before Britney Spears tried any of that nonsense. Basil has denied she changed the title because she was infatuated with Mickey Dolenz, and she’s also gone to court a few times over the years to stop people using it without her permission (or without the proper reimbursement). But then, if you’re a One Hit Wonder, you’ve got to fight for that legacy, haven’t you? If I were her, I’d be sending my lawyers to have a word with Rosé and Bruno Mars, because their 2024 smash hit APT. owes a serious debt to Mickey if you ask me, and specifically the bits Toni added to the Racey original.
(As an aside, I think it’s curious that Racey only ever released one studio album, but have since released half a dozen separate Greatest Hits collections. Talk about milking a dead horse.)
Whenever I hear Mickey, I’m ten years old again. I wasn’t a huge muso at ten*, but this was everywhere in 1982. I’m guessing even Terry Wogan must have been playing it.
(*"Clearly!" cry the Cognoscenti.)
Track 3: Timbuk 3 - The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
Another huge 80s One Hit Wonder, and one I remember buying on 7” when I was 15, helping it achieve the mediocre chart placing of #21 in the UK. It managed a couple of places higher in the US, but really deserved better.
Timbuk 3 were husband & wife duo Pat & Barbara MacDonald, and together they released six albums between 1986 and 1995, after which they got divorced and pursued solo projects. Considering how much I like this track’s quirky indie rock sound and lyrical playfulness, it’s a wonder I’ve never investigated any of their other material. That’s gone on my To-Do list.
In the US, The Future's So Bright was embraced as a college graduation theme tune, but Pat MacDonald claims the song has a much darker subtext, about a Nuclear Scientist who saw a very bright future indeed… one that even the best UV-filtering sunglasses wouldn’t protect us from.
Unlike Toni Basil’s hit, you won’t have heard this tune in any adverts, since Pat and Barbara have resolutely rejected all offers to license it for promotional purposes. Now that’s what I call principles.
This scores bonus points for the harmonica.
Track 4: The Zombies - She's Not There
You will have heard this one in a TV advert though, one for Chanel perfume, starring Keira Knightley, back in 2014. Let’s not hold that against the Zombies, eh? Poor lads have got to eat.
She’s Not There was The Zombies’ debut single in 1964, and according to bassist Chris White, it may well be the first proper song Rod Argent ever wrote. Imagine writing this as your first song!
A tale of adolescent angst, featuring a young man who’s been burned by a relationship with a girl who wasn’t what she seemed, this is arguably The Zombies’ finest hour. He’s still in love with her, not with the actual girl, just the idea of who he thought she was. Colin Blunstone’s yearning vocal is perfect for this kind of thing…
Well, let me tell you about the way she looked The way she acts and the colour of her hair Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright But she's not there
I took Sam Trick or Treating last Thursday. It's not something I derive a whole lot of enjoyment from - "we never had all this malarkey when I was a kid", etc. etc. This time was a little different though, partly because (for once) it wasn't raining, but mostly because of the performance of the above couple, who went above and beyond in their dedication to All Hallow's Eve.
The man was dressed in a labcoat, smeared with blood, crouched over a mocked up corpse that was laid out on his drive, "eating its entrails". When unwary Trick or Treaters approached the house for sweets, he staggered out into the street moaning like an extra from The Walking Dead. Some kids screamed and ran away from him, but he kept up the act until his wife (dressed in a "Zombie Killer" T-shirt) shouted at him to "get back over and clean up your mess". To which he complied. They were both firmly in character and I've seen a lot of zombie movies with far worse acting.
Made my Halloween, so it did.
I did a Top Ten Zombie Songs way back in 2012. But here are a few more, not included on that list.
It was hardly the toughest link to work out, but how often does Saturday Snapshots fall on New Year's Day? Here are the Auld Lang Answers...
10. Often mistaken for space aliens.
I was watching a documentary recently where the US government claimed that when people saw UFOs, they were actually seeing U2 spy planes. Which aren't shaped like flying saucers at all. Far more likely they're seeing Bono's halo...
It's the Easter holidays at college so I have no classes... which you might expect would mean I'd have more time to work on the blog. Unfortunately, the boss has dumped a ton of extra work on me so I have even less time than usual. Apologies then if I have to keep this brief. Today's band, +44, were, apparently, an offshoot of Blink-182. I've not heard anything by them and don't have time to investigate right now. The Swede set the ball rolling last week with a load of jazz and blues...
McCoy Tyner - '44th Street Suite' (couldn't find that one, but I'm sure it's NICE).
Lynchie, meanwhile, came tooled up with a mean '44, having realised "There are a LOT of blues songs about men killing women or other men with a .44 pistol."
Hey Joe, where you goin' with that money in your hand? Hey Joe, where you goin' with that money in your hand? I'm gonna go down to town to buy a blue steel 44 I'm gonna go down to town to buy a blue steel 44
(In case you're wondering, Jimi Hendrix doesn't appear to specify the calibre of his own gun.)
Lynchie continues, "But one woman did shoot a man with a .44 in the song Frankie & Johnny..."
Well, Frankie lifted up her kimono dress And she drew out a little .44 She shot once, twice, three times she shot him And through that hardwood door Yeah she shot her man (yeah he was her man) Well but he been doin' her wrong yeah
Lots of people recorded that, but here's Sam Cooke because... well, he's Sam Cooke.
Good call, though my first thought was I'd have gone with Nick Cave... except Nick's Stagger Lee carried a Colt 45... so he should have been here last week.
After last week's splurge, Martin decided to rein himself in this week with only two suggestions...
And for the lyrics that could have made it into a maths or multiplication top ten, the (frankly not very good) 15 Times by Gilbert O'Sullivan, which has the lines:
You and me and baby makes
3, 4, 5, 6, 7
8, 9, 10 and 11
12, 13, 14, 15 times 44 is 660!
Despite his whole "not very good" ruse (methinks he protests too much), I fully expect Martin to suggest this song consecutively for weeks 15 - 3 of this feature.
Swiss Adam was up next with a tune I didn't know, but always got time for this gentleman...
...which did appear 44 posts ago, but it's still worth another play.
After all that... and a little surprise that nobody mention Fats Domino - 44... I was left with a clear choice between just two songs, both suggested by The Swede (although C seconded the first one).
It would have been a worthy winner, were it not for this, from a band that Brian introduced me to a year or so ago and I've had a great affection for ever since...
I think I have a clear winner for next week... but I'm always open to having my mind changed. Go for it!
Rumoured to be based on a WWI marching song, the hit version was written by the two Rogers: British songwriters Cook & Greenaway. There was no Whistling Jack Smith, and some debate over who actually did the whistling. On the album version, someone shouts "Oi!" near the end, but this was "cleaned up" for the single release and changed to "Hey!" instead.
Those crazy 60s also brought us The Royal Guardsman - Snoopy Vs. The Red about Baron von Richthofen, Germany's infamous Red Baron airman. Charlie Brown's cartoon pooch Snoopy often imagined himself fighting The Red Baron in the war.
Definitely the scariest song on this list... perhaps because (unlike Metallica's usual fare) it's a million miles away from the sunshiny pop of She's Not There.
Written by Scots-Aussie Eric Bogle (whose other big WWI tune was The Green Fields of France), but Shane and the boys did the definitive version for me...
When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my Matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said, "Son
It's time to stop rambling 'cause there's work to be done"
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the cheers
This is a World War I song.
World War I fascinates me because it was such a shock to the world.
Nothing before or since has come close.
It was a horrible, horrible event.
It was modern weaponry and cavalry and then tanks.
They fought for four years over a hundred yards, some ridiculously small amount of ground.
It's the stupidest event in history.
This is one of those songs that I just can't sing - it's right in one of the cracks in my range.
So we did it to approximate what a recording of that era would sound like.
I know Mitchell's going to get blamed in some review for using all these effects, but we did it because I simply can't sing the thing.
1. The Farm - Altogether Now
I was nineteen when this record came out and I had no idea what it was about. I guess I just didn't listen to the lyrics...
Remember boy that your forefather's died
Lost in millions for a country's pride
But they never mention the trenches of Belgium
When they stopped fighting and they were one
A spirit stronger than war was at work that night
December 1914 cold, clear and bright
Countries' borders were right out of sight
When they joined together and decided not to fight
All together now
All together now
All together now, in no man's land
The same old story again
All those tears shed in vain
Nothing learned and nothing gained
Only hope remains
All together now
All together now
All together now
In no man's land
The boys had their say they said no
Stop the slaughter let's go home, let's go, let's go
George tried his best, checking into all the London prisons he could think of... but old lag Martin had already done time with this bunch so he recognised their mugshots immediately.
4. Syd was pretty tough - and loaded!
Syd Barrett.
Tough = strong.
If you're loaded, you have "LOADSAMONEY!" (You had to be there. Yes, I bought that. Listen musos - William Orbit was involved in that, so it must have been cool. I was 16, OK? Give me a break.)
Despite an initial confusion with the footballer (!?!) Earl Barrett, George nabbed this one.
3. German stone guy makes a Take That song even worse.
Stein is German for stone.
Take That did Bad For Good (possibly Gary Barlow's finest hour, though I prefer Robbie Williams' solo version: you have to stick with it past the first 50 seconds. I saw him do that live. Twice. One time, he rode a toilet round the stage while doing it. Don't tell me Robbie Williams isn't great. I won't believe you.)
In my humble opionion, Jim Steinman is one of the greatest songwriters ever to have set foot on this planet.
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