Saturday Snapshots #162 - The Answers

 

No, I couldn't find any pictures of Joe Biden holding a camera. Neither do I expect Joe Biden to be a truly great president. But at least he once worked with one (even if Obama didn't achieve everything he set out to do, he remained a decent figurehead throughout). 

The main thing Biden has in his favour is that he's Not Trump. In the same way I voted for Corbyn purely because was not Not Boris. Frankly, the Democrats could have put Tom Hanks & Michael Bolton on the ticket and I'd have voted for them instead of Trump. Just as Labour could field James Corden with Bono as deputy and I'd be putting my X in their box, no matter how detestable I find them both.  

I'll leave the final word today to Sam, aged 7, yet already an expert political analyst.

"I think Donald Trump is going to break all the ornaments in The White House 
so that when Joe Biden moves in, he's not got anything nice."

Here are this week's answers...

10. Half a piano... just like Andrew Gold.

A piano is made up of black and white keys.

Andrew Gold was a Lonely Boy.

The Black Keys - Lonely Boy

9. Wishing the week whisked away.

A whisk is used to make beating eggs easier.

Wishing the week away, you're thinking about Friday.

The Easybeats - Friday On My Mind

8. Early morning enclosure, thrice refused.

Early morning is dawn. An enclosure is a pen.

Dawn Penn - No, No, No

7. Expensive Eagle wants a lift this evening.

Eddie the Eagle costs lots of money.

Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight

Sadly, I don't think this Eddie will make it into next week's Top Ten Eddie Songs. So I thought I'd find room for him here. What a chorus!

6. Chubbier Scot makes a right turn... will you be mine?

A chubbier Scot would be Mc-Fatter.

Clyde McPhatter - A Lover's Question

5. Dark dancer mixed with problematic nun (plus alias)... what Blanche depended on. 

Courtney Cox became famous after being plucked from the audience to go Dancing In The Dark.

The problematic nun was Maria, alias Julie Andrews.

Blanche DuBois always depended on the kindness of strangers, in A Streetcar Named Desire.

Courtney Marie Andrews - The Kindness of Strangers

4. Eastwood & Elphick prefer milk in their coffee, nothing else.

Clint Eastwood + Michael 'Boon' Elphick like it white with no sugar.

The Clint Boon Experience - White With No Sugar

3. Improvement for Butch's shortened mum. 

Butch Cassidy's shortened mum with be Mama Cass.

Mama Cass - It's Getting Better

2. Not all ladies like it risqué. 

Some girls like it racey. Some girls don't. (C, apparently, didn't... at least not where these guys were concerned!)

Racey - Some Girls

1. Nurse snogs my sugar babe.

Nurse snogs was this week's only anagram!

More next week. As long as Trump doesn't have hissy fit. (I really hope Secret Service have hidden the football.)

My Top Ten Girls vs. Boys Songs

Ten girl songs versus ten boy songs. Who will come out on top?


10. Generation X - Modern Boys vs. Sheena Easton - Modern Girl

Billy Idol vs. Sheena Easton... who would you put your money on?

The boys outnumber the girl here, but they teach 'em to fight tough in Glasgow.

Sheena takes the first victory for the ladies.

9. Morrissey - Girl Least Likely To vs. Boy Least Likely To - The Battle of the Boy Least Likely To

Regular viewers will realise we can't let Morrissey win one of these - not even to a band who named themselves after one of his songs. I say because it's because he needs to maintain that perpetual losing streak, you probably say it's because he's a nazi.

The boys make it one all.

8. Alison Moyet - Ode To Boy vs. Carl Barat - Ode To A Girl

Well, obviously this one goes to Alison... although that does mean the boys go one up.

7. The Seekers - Georgie Girl vs. Jack Lukeman - Georgie Boy

"Jack who?" you cry. Surely Judith Durham claims a victory here.

Except...

There's something about the perkiness of Georgie Girl that has the worst kind of 60s sound to my ears... and that Jack Lukeman track is pretty damned good, actually.

3-1 to the boys! Oh no!

6. Death Cab For Cutie - Some Boys vs. Racey - Some Girls

So to get the girls back in the game, I have to choose RACEY over Death Cab For Cutie.

Thank god I'm uncool.

3-2.

5. Voice of the Beehive - Stupid Boy vs. Garbage - Stupid Girl

Very cool Beehive song (great lyrics too), but Shirley wins this one, bringing us back to level-pegging.

3-3

4. Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe - The Golden Boy vs. John Martyn - Golden Girl

A nice simple acoustic John Martyn song vs. the operatic pomp of Freddie & Montserrat, a track from the Barcelona album which I've not listened to in ages. I was almost about to give this one to the girls too, but around the 2 1/2 minute mark, Freddie only goes and blows the bloody doors off. Wow.

4-3 to the boys.

3. Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy vs. Lucinda Williams - Lonely Girls

I'm going to confess something now... for many years, I considered Andrew Gold's Lonely Boy to be a masterpiece on a par with Morrissey's I Have Forgiven Jesus in regard to describing how my life felt... in fact I think I may have listened to it a bit too much.

On the other hand, I first heard Lonely Girls on an Uncut compilation CD and it was probably the track that introduced me to Lucinda Williams.

4 all.

2. Don Henley - Boys of Summer vs. Arab Strap - Girls of Summer

Arab Strab are hilarious, and this is one of their best.

But... Boys of Summer is one of the greatest songs of the 80s, and one of the best summer songs ever recorded. I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...

5-4 to the boys.

1. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry vs. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Too close to call, surely?



Let's call it a draw to keep everyone happy...


But what would your verdict be? Boys or girls? Whoever wins, the losers don't cry...

My Top Ten Kitty Songs

I was jolted awake  at 5.55 on Christmas morning, not by Sam's excitement over Santa having visited, but by Louise saying, "there's someone downstairs playing Christmas music". With my heart pounding, I got out of bed and crept to the top of the stairs from where I could hear the sad refrain of Judy Garland wishing us a merry Christmas.

With visions of (at best) a burglar with a sick sense of humour or (at worst) a blood-drenched psychopath in a Santa costume, I ventured downstairs to discover...

The kitchen radio on at full blast.

Burglar?

Psychopath?

Poltergeist?

Or hyperactive kitten standing on top of the on button?

As I've already done My Top Ten Kitten Songs, here are ten kitties...


10. Sparks - Here Kitty

Ron & Russell's kitten gets stuck up a juniper tree. Bloody thing.

9. Bee Gees - Kitty Can

From 1969, when the Bee Gees were more like The Monkees. You'll have to watch it to see what I mean.

8. Bobby Darin - Pretty Miss Kitty

The airbrushed side of rock 'n' roll. Still fun.

7. The Pogues - Kitty

The Pogues did Trad. Arr. folk tunes better than most.

6. Presidents of the USA - Kitty

The Presidents are well and truly hacked off with their kitten...

Kitty up and scratch me through my jeans
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
OUTSIDE!

5. Cat Stevens - Kitty

Cat plans on partying with his Kitty.

4. Racey - Kitty

Yes, Racey.

That'll put the kitten among the pigeons.

You may know this better as the Toni Basil version, Hey Mickey! You may also choose to deny knowledge of either. But I know when you're lying...

3. Laura Cantrell - Kitty Wells Dresses

Cred instantly restored (in some quarters, at least) with a lovely bit of pedal steel and one of John Peel's favourite country singers.

2. Darts - The Boy From New York City

Racey and Darts in the same top ten? I can still irk those musos when I want to.

Sing it after me:

Ooh ahh ooh ahh, cool, cool kitty...

1. Bruce Springsteen - Kitty's Back

Those of you who know about such things will hardly be surprised to find this early Bruce number holding off all challengers at Number One. I song I loved so much, I named the novel I wrote for my English degree (my excuse for a dissertation!) after it. My tutor was scathing... but I scraped at 2:1.

This live version from '78 is amazing...


Any kitties in your collection?