Showing posts with label Airborne Toxic Event. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Airborne Toxic Event. Show all posts

Wednesday, 17 January 2024

Self-Help For Cynics #19: Playing It Safe

Iggy Pop - Play It Safe

I clearly remember the first time I walked into a classroom as a trainee teacher. It was an adult Functional Skills English workshop, and all the students were quietly getting on with a variety of tasks in groups. It wasn't at all what I'd expected, and when the teacher I'd come to shadow said to me, "just go round the groups and see if anyone needs any help", I was suddenly terrified. 

Just... walk up to complete strangers who didn't know me from Adam - many of whom were older than me, and of a variety of different ethnicities - introduce myself and offer them help? I'd prepared myself for standing at the front of a class and delivering a lesson to a group of teenagers. I had lots of experience in performance and presentation and making myself heard or noticed... but a quiet, casual chat with a gentle offer of assistance to grown-ups... that was well outside my comfort zone. 

Beth Orton - Safety

Those of you who have been following this series from the start will know that we've identified the main culprit of our stress, anxiety and other mental health concerns... the amygdala or monkey brain. To recap...

Whenever the amygdala senses any kind of threat – from a bus about to run us over in the street to somebody gossiping about us behind our back in the office – it sets off our spider-sense, various hormonal and neurological warning signals that in turn cause us to feel the symptoms of stress. These will vary depending on the individual and the situation, but they include all the old favourites – physical stuff such as increased heart rate, changes to breathing, hot or cold sweat, and mental reactions such as fear, anger and shame. Stress hormones basically prepare us to fight the threat or flee from the danger: fight or flight. But they often override our normal, logical human brain, and let our monkey brain take over. 

The problem comes in the modern world, where the monkey brain finds it increasingly difficult to work out what's an actual threat to life... and what's merely a difficult problem to be overcome. So it looks to us for understanding... and we don't help ourselves by playing it safe.

The Airborne Toxic Event - Safe

In theory, any new experience contains danger. Meeting new people, starting a new job, going out on a first date, trying a new hobby or club... life would be so much easier if we just stuck with the stuff we know and are comfortable with. Anything new - well, we don't know how to deal with it or what problems we might encounter along the way. And that's scary.

Emmy The Great - Bad Things Coming, We Are Safe

Writing this particular blog series is a bit like that. Every time I sit down to do it, I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I'm not really an expert on this subject, I'm just fumbling my way through. It would be so much easier when I open up my computer to just cobble together another edition of Saturday Snapshots or Namesakes. I know how to do those now. They might take time and research and a bit of head-scratching, but they're familiar and comforting and safe. 

Or, I might put off writing the blog altogether and go watch some TV. Read a book (if only!). Watch some more music videos on youtube from bands I've never heard of. 

Hot Rod Circuit - Safely

If I do any of these things rather than writing the post that's causing me a bit of anxiety, I'm confirming the monkey's perception of threat.

Massive Attack - Safe From Harm

New experience? !!Amygdala sends out warning signals!!

Result: I feel anxious.    

Strategy? Play it safe. 

Safety strategies are the things we all do to minimise risk or avoid tackling anything new. They include distracting ourselves with other (safe) activities or avoiding any situations that make us feel remotely uncomfortable. 

Thea Gilmore - When Did You Get so Safe?

However... whenever we do this, we tell the monkey that it was right - its perception of threat was bang on the money. As a result, it'll double its efforts to warn us about getting into that situation again. 

If I stop writing this blog series because it's difficult and it makes me a little anxious, then next time I try, it'll be even harder.

If I avoid going out to a gig because there will be a lot of strange people there, and it'll be a late night, and I might not get home till after midnight... if I decide to stay at home instead and watch TV... then chances are, next time the opportunity arises, I probably won't even bother to buy tickets.

The House Of Love - Safe

These are pretty mild examples, but I'm sure you can extrapolate them to cover more serious anxiety-causing situations in your own life. Playing it safe, avoiding problems or distracting ourselves from things that are worrying just confirms to our monkey brain that these things are threats to be avoided. It'll scream even louder next time. 

The Chameleons - A Person Isn't Safe Anywhere These Days

Taken to an absolute extreme, this is where OCD comes from: you can't leave the house until you've completed these safety rituals. It's where alcohol and drug dependency starts: you feel less anxious when you have a drink. The monkey brain experts believe that even positive behaviour like exercise, meditation and structured relaxation techniques can be used as an escape strategy to help us avoid facing up to the things we fear... because when we do these things, we only confirm that the monkey was right to be afraid.

Graham Parker - Fear Not

The answer? "Feel the fear and do it anyway." 

Back in the 90s, a former colleague of mine used to swear by a self-help book with that exact title... and I used to mock it as namby-pamby mumbo-jumbo. Yet from a brain science point of view, it seems like this is the best advice you can get. If we refuse to let our anxiety get the better of us - if we embrace the situation the monkey is screaming at us to avoid - and we do this repeatedly... then, we break down the cycle of anxiety and we teach the monkey that it's something we don't have to be afraid of. 

Howie Beck - Don´t Be Afraid

Those early teaching experiences were really quite terrifying. I'd already pushed myself way out of my comfort zone by going back to university in my late 30s and retraining at something so different from anything I'd ever done before. I'd prepared myself for all kinds of problems and scenarios and figured out ways I might deal with them... but a workshop of adult learners, something that should have been far less scary than standing in front of a class of 17 year olds... that was almost my downfall. I came out of that first shadowing session and seriously asked myself if I'd made the right decision. Maybe teaching wasn't the right choice for me. Except it was too late to drop out now... and what else could I do?

The Carpenters - Don't Be Afraid

The following week, I went back to the same class and was put in the same situation again. And it wasn't immediately easier. It took me a good few weeks before I worked out how to handle myself there, but eventually I did... and my anxiety subsided. Because I'd taught my monkey brain that it was OK. It wasn't something to be afraid of. 

Boston - Don't Be Afraid

In her book, Don't Feed The Monkey Mind, Dr. Jennifer Shannon explains...

The monkey mind is like a small child or a pet watching you for guidance. I emphasize the word "watch". You cannot tell this part of your brain anything. The monkey can't be reasoned with, comforted, or distracted from its mission. The only way we can get what we want in live is to override its warnings with our behaviour.

Stop playing it safe, in other words. Playing it safe only reinforces our fears. 

Easier said than done...?



Friday, 30 September 2022

Positive Songs For Negative Times #79: Summer's Over

Summer at Fountain's Abbey, near Ripon. 
Photo taken on the 1st of September, 2022.

The Winds of Autumn Teach Us That Decay is the Fate of All Mankind

(from The Guardian, 11th November, 1840)

There is an "even-tide" in the year - a season when the sun withdraws his propitious light - when the winds arise, and the leaves fall, and nature around us seems to sink into decay. It is said to be the season of melancholy; and if by this word be meant that it is the time of solemn and serious thought, it is undoubtedly the season of melancholy; yet it is a melancholy so soothing, so gentle in its approach, and so prophetic in its influence, that they who have known it feel, as if instinctively, that it is the doing of God.


I like Autumn. I love to watch the leaves turn colour and feel the bite of the colder air, dig out the winter coat (which has far more pockets than the summer jacket: I adore pockets) and the heavier duvet. I can’t deny that the season brings melancholy… then again, I’m a big fan of melancholy. It’s almost as good as pockets. Melancholy is probably my favourite emotion. I mean, Happiness Is Overrated, right? Not to mention, so bloody hard to come by…

Autumn officially began last Friday, according to the Calendar people. For teachers, it probably begins a couple of weeks earlier when the summer holidays end and it’s back to school. I don’t normally start wearing my winter jumpers until October Half Term, clinging onto the short-sleeved summer shirts as long as I can… although this year, with Louise turning the thermostat down to minimise our exposure to the energy bill apocalypse, I’ve already taken to wearing socks in bed.

It’s around this time of year, regular as clockwork, that a particular song starts playing in my mind. A number #60 smash in 1998 (almost a quarter of a decade ago, for those of you not bummed out enough by the Grauniad’s suggestion that “Decay is the Fate of All Mankind”), but in my mind it was a Number One. As for melancholy classics, this one’s right up there…

Kamikaze seagull planes
Fighting over chip shop take-away remains
When you're walking on the cliffs
You can't help thinking of how far down the sea is
And what if it should give

Empty pubs echo with sounds
Jukebox selections that keep going round and round
And maybe rain is all we need
To come and wash the summer rubbish off the beach
Oh, let's just go to sleep
 
I didn't mean to bring you down
Summer's over, seaside town
She says we shouldn't have come so far
This seaside town



Sunday, 29 May 2022

Snapshots #242: A Top Ten Midnight Songs


Ain't It Funny how long you can spend staring at these images before working out who they are? Sometimes it takes All I Have to Control Myself and... yeah, I'm just looking up J-Lo song titles now, I don't actually know any of them. Apart from Jenny From The Block, and I can't work out how to pun that in here.

(If only I could have found a photo of Gary Cole, the Midnight Caller, holding a camera...)

Let's just get on with the answers, shall we?


10. Harrods, clogged.

Anagram!

Clodagh Rodgers - Goodnight Midnight

9. Non-blasphemous expression of frustration or disbelief.

Judas Priest!

(Well, maybe that it a little bit blasphemous, if you think about it.)

Judas Priest - Living After Midnight

8. A radium mural.

Anagram!

Maria Muldaur - Midnight At The Oasis

7. 5th & 8th Doctors merge.

The 5th Doctor Who was Peter Davidson. The 8th was (very briefly) Paul McGann.

Paul Davidson - Midnight Rider

6. Criminal brother.

He's a felonious monk.

Thelonious Monk - 'Round Midnight

5. Potent brew, made of Juniper Juice Concentrate, initially.

The initials are JJC. So the brew would be JJC Ale.

JJ Cale - After Midnight

4. Good spread in St. James's Park.

Jam is a very good spread.

The Jam - Down In The Tube Station At Midnight

3. Nurse Emmanuel becomes a Sir, with fruity insides.

In Open All Hours, contemporary reference fans, the object of Ronnie Barker's affections was N-N-Nurse G-G-Gladys Emmanuel. If she was a Sir, that would make her a Knight. Inside a fruit are pips.

Gladys Knight & The Pips - Midnight Train To Georgia 

2. Huge fart.

The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight

1. Striking Beach Boy.

Brian Wilson on the picket line.

Wilson Pickett - In The Midnight Hour


Get Right back here and Play again next Saturday. (That's another two J-Lo hits I've never heard.)

 

Sunday, 14 June 2020

Saturday Snapshots #140 - The Answers


Easy, riders - no need to Speed. The answers are here!


10. Between 11.59 and 12.01, approximately, the flying poison hits.


The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight

9. Add a diamond to mercury to create the smartest creatures in the sea.


Neil Diamond & Freddie Mercury...

Fred Neil - Dolphins

Classic.

8. Ex-otter steals cars.


"Ex-otter" is a very simple anagram.

Roxette - Joyride

7. Tiny News-man hits rocky patch.


Huey Lewis & The News?

Baby Huey - Hard Times

This featured on this blog a couple of weeks back, but this edition of Saturday Snapshots was compiled before that.

6. Munster & Allen meet Mary Poppins in New York.


Lily Allen. Lily Munster.

The Lilys - A Nanny In Manhattan

5. Hotrod boychild warns ships about adoring blooming herbs.


Eddie & The Hotrods.

Eddie's son?

Lighthouses warn ships.

Etc.

Etc.

I'm writing the answers on Thursday night and predicting that Alyson got that one from the photo alone. She wasn't the first, but she did end up supplying an important correction...

Just an observation but as I wrote about the song Love Grows by Edison Lighthouse quite recently I noticed that Tony Burrows isn't part of the line-up in that picture. They were a band made up of session musicians and their only big hit was when Tony was brought in on lead vocals. He had also been part of 2 other bands at the same time so had 3 singles in the Top 10 at the same time. He ended up being a 5 times 'one-hit wonder'.

Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows Where My Rosemary Grows

4. Black and white TV shows only repeats of Blind Date.


Cilla Black was the presenter of Blind Date. Apologies if that clue didn't cross the Atlantic.

The Monochrome Set - Cilla Black

3. Conceited carnival, 5am.


Vanity Fair - Early In The Morning

2. Sad river falls on Hollywood.


The Blue Nile - Tinseltown In The Rain

1. Beachy Headphones.


Beachy Head is a cliff.




Baby wants to play Saturday Snapshots again?

Come back next week.



Monday, 22 July 2013

My Top Ten Summer Clothes Songs


What are you wearing to keep cool in this hot weather?


10. Animal Collective - Summertime Clothes

The Animal Collective are soaking their heads in the sink. Which can't help but remind me of these guys.

9. Ben Kweller - Sundress

Ben takes his girl to all the most glamorous parts of town, just to see her in her sundress.

8. Sonic Youth - Swimsuit Issue

In which Kim takes a summer job as a secretary for a lecherous boss... with hilarious consequences.

7. ZZ Top - Cheap Sunglasses
Spied a little thing and I followed her all night
In her funky fine Levis and her sweater kind of tight
She had a west coast strut that was as sweet as molasses
But what really knocked me out was her cheap sunglasses
Stalker alert.

See also Sunglasses by Skeeter Davis... or Tracey Ullman. Take your pick.

6. The Wedding Present - Silver Shorts

Wear your silver shorts today and David Gedge won't go away.

5. The Airborne Toxic Event - Girls In Their Summer Dresses

A guilty husband protests that he's not perving over the girls in their summer dresses... and anyway, they were looking at him first!

4. Timbuk 3 - The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
I'm a Peeping Tom Tacky with X-Ray eyes...
They're all at it!

Dig that crazy harmonica.

3. Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Accept certain inalienable truths: 
Prices will rise, 
Politicians will philander, 
You too will get old, 
And when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. 

 Respect your elders.
2. Bruce Springsteen - Girls In Their Summer Clothes

If this wasn't one of Bruce's best radio pop records since the heights of Born In The USA, you might be attempted to accuse him of being the bloke in the ATE song. Then you listen to the lyrics and hear an aching melancholic nostalgia... and everything's right with the world.

1. Gene - Long Sleeves For The Summer

Exquisite.
Does you heart sag?



I'm just sitting here waiting for someone to suggest Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini so I can tell them where to go. 

Monday, 12 November 2012

My Top Ten "I Don't Wanna..." Songs


Pop stars, eh? A bunch of petulant teenagers, the lot of them. Here's 10 things they just do NOT want to do...

10. Sham 69 - I Don't Wanna

Sham 69 pretty much don't wanna do much of anything. Punks.

9. Eddie Grant - I Don't Wanna Dance

Can't say I blame him. I never was much of a dancer.

8. Harry Chapin - I Don't Want To Be President

Left over from last week's American President Top 10...
Time is a march where the powerful are drummers
Big business, big labour, big oil
And soon I was meeting with the men who ran the country
The men who owned the sky and the soil

7. The Airborne Toxic Event - I Don't Want To Be On TV

If you've ever met anyone who works in television, this song will make perfect sense to you.

6. Rod Stewart - I Don't Want To Talk About It

Or, should you prefer it, the Everything But The Girl version.

5. The Magnetic Fields - I Don't Want To Get Over You

From the album 69 Love Songs, Stephin Merritt's finest hour.

I could listen to my therapist
Pretend you don't exist
And not have to dream of what I dream of

I could listen to all my friends and go out again 
And pretend it's enough
Or I could make a career of being blue

I could dress in black and read Camus 
Smoke clove cigarettes and drink Vermouth 
Like I was 17, that would be a scream 
But I don't want to get over you.

4. Elton John - I Don't Want To Go On With You Like That

He doesn't want to be just a feather in your cap.

3. The Ramones - I Don't Wanna Grow Up

...And they never did.

The Ramones could have filled an entire album with songs about things they didn't want to do. See also... I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You, I Don't Wanna Live This Life (Anymore) and, of course, I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement.

2. Belle & Sebastian - I Don't Want To Play Football

Could well have been my theme song in school PE lessons...

I don't want to play football
I don't understand the rules of the game
I don't want to play football
I don't understand the thrill of running, catching, throwing
Taking orders from a moron
Grabbing for the sweaty crotches
Getting hit by people I don't know
Sugar, I'd rather play a different sort of game
Sugar, the girls are just as good as boys at playing

1. Elvis Costello - (I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea

Despite being devoted to this song for nigh on 25 years, I still have no idea what it's about. Unless Elvis just really doesn't want to go to Chelsea...

They call her Natasha
When she looks like Elsie
I don't want to go to Chelsea...




Go on, tell me your favourite... unless you don't wanna.

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