10cc were my obvious choice for the band to illustrate our final week in double figures on the countdown, although as Jim in Dubai pointed out, I could also have had Ten City, Tenpole Tudor, Ten Years After... or, for that matter, Ten Sharp, Ten Benson, The Ten Fours or the Ten Bob Millionaires.
And my search engine also suggested The Pretenders, Yo La Tengo, Morten Harket, Frightened Rabbit, Suicidal Tendencies, Sharon Van Etten and Tennessee Ernie Ford, among others. All of which made searching for Ten songs rather difficult, since there was no way of editing out songs that included the words Listen, Pretend, Tension, Beaten, Tender... or even Extended. And there were rather a lot of songs with "Extended version" in my library.
So I'm very impressed you all came up with as many great suggestions as you did. So many, in fact, I'm going to keep the waffle to a minimum (again... we'll see how well that goes) and just plough through them, starting with The Swede...
I tell you what, all these songs about The Ten Commandments makes me think back to the originals, carved into stone, and carried down from Mount Sinai itself by the one and only...
...which, given the name of this blog, is a pretty good place to stop. Although The Swede did have one other suggestion, which he caveated: I feel I may be pushing my luck now!
Hmm. We'll come back to that.
Over to George, who only had one for us this week, but it was a big 'un...
Smut. Just pure smut. Or is it? Here's Douglas McLaren...
I have to say I was hesitating to suggest Aerosmith's "Big Ten Inch Record" because of the puerile suggestiveness of the lyrics, until after digging a little, I came across the following quote, said about a different Aerosmith jingle: "Actually, there's very little innuendo here, it's just pure smut. But Steven Tyler is such a rock star caricature, it's hard to be offended by it." (A Certain Blogger, June 23, 2017)
As always, you go above and beyond with your research, Douglas. Thank you.
Over to Swiss Adam, who had quite a few from my library. I'll let you work out which.
Fair play to Swiss Adam there, because the ones I didn't have in my collection, I now want in my collection. (With the possible exception of Sabres of Paradise, sorry.)
Alyson, who tonight, Matthew, will be Ben Elton, adds...
Can't remember what you think of UB40 but One In Ten made a big impact on me back in the day and I still have the vinyl copy. After this crisis it might have to be renamed One In Five, but that's me just being pessimistic again. It'll all be fine (she says wearing a rictus smile).
For the record, One In Ten is probably my favourite UB40 song... I even featured it in Saturday Snapshots a couple of weeks back.
You'll have to excuse me, CC, but this post is long enough with me re-running last week's links as well... besides, you're not going to top Engelbert. I'd quit while you're ahead. Although your Engelbert suggestion did lead me to dig out this...
A lot of songs with 10 in the title but most of the ones I'm finding are not even familiar to me so going to stick with what might be your most likely pick. Although C says she doesn't like it, I think you do appreciate Paul Heaton's lyrics so Perfect 10 by Beautiful South would be a possibility.
Y'know, I used to love that song, but it has started to grate a little in recent years. Perhaps because it sounds like a template for every song Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott record these days. This is better...
He even supplied the link, just in case I didn't know what he was talking about. See, I'm beginning to think you're not taking this series seriously, George.
Back to Dubai, where Jim had dug up the following...
After all those, I don't know about you, but I need a lie down in a darkened room. I doubt that anyone gives two figs for my suggestions this week (if you ever do). Still, I feel duty bound to list them So...
Way, way back in the dim and distant mists of the past when this post started, The Swede made a final suggestion which he somehow thought might be "pushing his luck now". Do you remember that? Of course you don't, you've slept since then.
Anyway, The Swede's final suggestion was a song set on 10th Avenue in New York City.
Come on guys, you've been reading this blog long enough. Was this week's winner really that big a mystery? You know my weaknesses...
This one's for Clarence.
When the change was made uptown
And the Big Man joined the band
Nine next. Hopefully there won't be as many nine songs as there were ten. But just in case... I might start writing that post now. Chip in whenever you feel like it...
That's Marilyn Manson, someone I considered scary enough to illustrate the answers of our Halloween special. I'm not going to pretend to be a big expert on his discography though, so no scary puns today... just the answers.
Well done to C who won yesterday's Early Bird prize, though it was a hard-fought contest by everyone else. Well done to Lynchie and Martin for getting the hard ones (9 & 5).
10. PC Wilson Spassky prefers this to chips.
PC = Police Constable... or Bobby.
Boris Spassky was a famous chess player.
Wilson Picket was Wilson Pickett.
If you don't like chips, you may prefer your potatoes mashed.
Buddy Holly. Chuck Berry. Gene Vincent. Eddie Cochran. Fats Domino. The Everly Brothers. Jerry Lee Lewis. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I love them all.
Never quite got Bill Haley though. He never felt rock 'n' roll enough for me. (Ironic, considering a lot of people call his biggest hit 'the first rock 'n' roll record'.)
Sounds a bit like a rejected Bond theme. Maybe Curve were thinking of remaking Live & Let Die? (i.e. The One With Alligators. Or Crocodiles. Don't be pedantic.)
Look, I know this particular Top Ten hasn't been my finest moment. There are some top notch artists on this countdown, but they've all done far better things in their careers, and none of the songs featured today can hold a candle to last week's Crocodile post. But I promised an alligator follow-up, and so I felt contractually obliged. Hence this two-fer-one Number One of 80s soul shudders which I'm sure will make most of you run for the hills, but I actually think are quite fun in a very much of-their-time sort of way.
Look, it was either this or Paul McCartney and Mark Ronson. Believe me, you got off lightly.
Maybe I missed the lost classic alligator song that's lurking in your swamp. If so, do tell...
A boy becomes a man
And in the time he learns to stand
He finds a way to build a wall
To hide behind if he should fall
He grows to be a man
And show the world that he can stand
Not knowing fear
Or even pain while
Underneath when you look deep
A boy remains
Nick is of the opinion that our words are worth no more than worn out tyres. Furthermore, he has something to add about Rick Astley...
Well, do you remember Rick Astley? He had a big fat hit, it was ghastly. He said I'm never gonna give you up or let you down. Well I'm here to tell ya that Dick's a clown. Though he was just a boy when he made that vow, I'd bet it all that he knows by now:
All men are liars...
Dar Williams does a great of this too, but I couldn't find it on youtube.
So what does the godlike genius of Jimmy Webb reckon about men...?
He stinks to high heaven, half covered with hair And grunts just like some old orang-utan While she smells of clean skin and a trace of jasmine And speaks like a first rate librarian
His stomach hangs out, there's a hump on his back He eats like Conan the Barbarian While she keeps herself trim, and her posture is prim Her manners are quite cosmopolitan
He laughs like a donkey and farts in the bed And flips cigarettes in the can But she always acts nice, with no visible vice Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?
And that's just the beginning!
1. Grand Popo FC - Men Are Not Nice Guys
Leave it to those crazy French to sum up the biggest problems with blokes...
Drinks, finks, football and drugs,Business suits and newspapers, arguments, work, cable TV.Laziness, cars, lungs, size... don't you know what girls say sometimes?Men are not nice guys
...although we can probably think of a few bigger ones, if we try.
Then again, nice guys finish last, don't they? And all the good girls love a bad boy. Really, none of us can win...
