Just three of the iconic tunes we owe to the husband and wife songwriting partnership of Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. He wrote the tunes, she wrote the words. Words such as these...
'Nuff said.
Cynthia Weil passed away on the 1st of June, making a widower of Mann after 62 years of marriage.
They don't write a lot of songs about songwriters, not the ones who don't become stars in their own right, anyway, not the ones who just toil away quietly in the background creating legends.
Then again, Cynthia Weil also wrote the lyrics to this...
...a song that proved particularly influential on one young lad growing up in New Jersey.
"[Hearing The Animals] was a revelation … the first records with full blown class consciousness … the chorus of, ‘We Gotta Get Out Of This Place’ where working stiffs are looking for a better life can be heard in all my albums …
That’s every song I’ve ever written. That’s all of them. I’m not kidding either. That’s, ‘Born to Run’, ‘Born in the U.S.A.’"
So what have we got in tribute to Ms. Weil and all those wonderful lyrics she left us? How about this...?
Cynthia, when you pass it seems like this whole town drops
Cynthia, or maybe it's just me, baby, and these fools stuck here punchin' this clock
Well you give us a reason to stop just for a while
The opening track to the new Okkervil River album does exactly what it says on the tin. It's a song about famous people who've had tracheotomies. No, wait, it's a hell of a lot better than that sounds!
No, Aretha never had a tracheotomy. However...
Mary Wells, she was known as Motown's Queen
But laryngeal cancer left her unable to sing
They tried radiation, multiple surgeries
But she didn't have insurance and lost almost everything
Poor thing
But Diana Ross helped with her bills
Aretha Franklin tried her very best to help out Mary Wells
Buddy Holly. Chuck Berry. Gene Vincent. Eddie Cochran. Fats Domino. The Everly Brothers. Jerry Lee Lewis. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I love them all.
Never quite got Bill Haley though. He never felt rock 'n' roll enough for me. (Ironic, considering a lot of people call his biggest hit 'the first rock 'n' roll record'.)
Sounds a bit like a rejected Bond theme. Maybe Curve were thinking of remaking Live & Let Die? (i.e. The One With Alligators. Or Crocodiles. Don't be pedantic.)
Look, I know this particular Top Ten hasn't been my finest moment. There are some top notch artists on this countdown, but they've all done far better things in their careers, and none of the songs featured today can hold a candle to last week's Crocodile post. But I promised an alligator follow-up, and so I felt contractually obliged. Hence this two-fer-one Number One of 80s soul shudders which I'm sure will make most of you run for the hills, but I actually think are quite fun in a very much of-their-time sort of way.
Look, it was either this or Paul McCartney and Mark Ronson. Believe me, you got off lightly.
Maybe I missed the lost classic alligator song that's lurking in your swamp. If so, do tell...
A bunch of crazy scientists recently named the giant prehistoric crocodile pictured above after Lemmy. "The nastiest sea creature to ever inhabit the earth", fossils of which were recently discovered, will now forever be known as the Lemmysuchus.
Here's ten more crocodile rockers...some of them very, very scary indeed.
OK, come on then: whose bright idea was it to let Jimmy Nail be a pop star? I mean, Jimmy Nail! And let's not forget, Jimmy Nail didn't just get into the charts: he got to Number One! That said, I will go down fighting to defend Ain't No Doubt (co-written by the aforementioned Charlie 'Pilot of the Airwaves' Dore... see, I don't just throw this blog together, etc. etc.).
Crocodile Shoes though? No, it's rubbish.
Still, the video does feature pantomine horses, and Jimmy's Crocodile Shoes literally cry too... so there's that.
I'm not sure I understand Maths rock. (Attention: there is an s on Maths. I'm not calling it Math Rock, because that would be stupid.) I'm an English teacher.
This is from a record called Animals, on which all the tracks are named after different... erm, Animals. Track 1 is Chinchilla. Track 7 is Elk. Track 3 is Lemur. Track 9 is Gibbon. Track 5 is Quetzal. (No, me neither.) How very 6th Form.
Not the Hollies' finest hour, but a hell of a lot better than Wiggle That Wotsit. That's scarier than any crocodile.(Don't click the link. You will be scarred for life.)
Jimmy Nail will be pleased to hear that the Bunnymen far prefer crocodile shoes to ones made out of alligator. If there's one thing I understand about the lyrics to this song, it's that.
A song about false friends stabbing you in the back, and it's not even by Morrissey. Can't understand how Martin Stephenson wasn't a bigger star. He even name-drops our Number One artist in he lyrics...
In a house full of fairday fakes Where the next-day neighbour makes the cakes With Elton John records playing loud upstairs It could be just the time to strike I'll be casual and ask about A will that could be mine throughout An opportunist you might think
but I have to earn my brass
1. Elton John - Crocodile Rock
Do you remember when rock was young? Do you remember when Elton was young? Do you remember when he was good? Really good? So good, he shamelessly filched bits of Chris Montez's Let's Dance and Pat Boone's Speedy Gonzales to cobble together of the best throwaway pop songs / rock 'n' roll throwbacks of the 70s.
Oh Lawdy, mama, those Friday nights When Suzie wore her dresses tight And the Crocodile Rocking was out of sight
This just in from The Department of Making You Feel Old: Elton John doing a tribute song to the early days of rock 'n' roll in 1972 is the equivalent of me doing a tribute to the second Coldplay album today. Not that I'm comparing the early days of rock to A Rush Of Blood To The Head since it's clear that one of those changed life as we know it on the planet earth and the other one proved Chris Martin couldn't even write a better song than Yellow, but still... time, y'know. Time.
Which one would you snap up?
(By the way, Alligator fans, don't feel left out... your time will come.)
Two Top Tens in one week? Wow... it's like the good old days! Actually, most of this one was compiled ages ago... back when I had free time in which to properly research these things. I've just been waiting for the appropriate time to run it. And as Glastonbury heralds the official start of the UK summer festival season this weekend, now is that time.
I will be watching Glastonbury - I'm particularly keen to catch John Grant (but which numpty decided to put him on at the same time as the Pixies?) - though this year's headliners leave a lot to be desired. Many people are whining about Metallica's headline slot, but while I'm hardly their biggest fan, I reckon they'll be a damn site more interesting than Th'arcade Fire or bleedin' Kasabian. I must be getting old. Where's Stevie Wonder when you need him?
More about the location and its mythic and mystical history than the festival itself, but I bet there's a fair few festival goers who reckon they found god at Michael Eavis's farm...
Back in 1969, Bowie was among the organisers of a free festival in Beckenham, South East (that-) London. This was his rather trippy tribute, a great album track that never should have been released as a radio single... even back in 1970 when the radio was a lot kinder.
Many years later, Dario G would steal the hooky chorus from the song's second half for his woeful dance-pop dirge 'Sunmachine'. You have to question why the Dame would ever allow such a travesty... but he does move in mysterious ways.
Aphrodite's Child were a Greek band made up of Demis Roussos and Vangelis (plus some other bloke). This somewhat satanic response to the Altamont tragedy featured on their final album, 666, considered by some to be a precursor to the prog-rock concept album that lumbered through the 70s like a bilious diplodocus and eventually spawned punk as a direct reaction.
That big-mouthed dude in the flash duds Preached fighting in the streets But the crowd of kids held an angel with a knife Who carved himself a slice of another guy's life And the blooms of blood unfolded from the buds And the bad karma came down in sheets And the troops of love got wise, they were paying Too much for their seats
If you've ever worked in a guitar shop, chances are you've heard this riff on a daily basis. And are now royally sick of it.
The titular smoke spread across Lake Geneva when Montreux Casino burned to the ground during a Frank Zappa concert in 1971. Although this wasn't part of that year's actual Montreux Festival (the fire happened in December, the festival in June), it did force the festival to change venues for the next few years while the Casino was rebuilt. A tenuous link, but good enough for me to crowbar it onto this list.
The most famous music festival ever, and the most famous song ever written about a music festival... yet as Joni explains here, she never actually made it to Woodstock. More famous recordings of this record exist, of course, by Matthew's Southern Comfort, Crosby, Stills & Nash et al... yet only Joni can get away with singing "We are stardust, we are golden..." with a straight face, if you ask me.
Probably my favourite Hold Steady record, I love how Craig Finn's vocals mix with guests Dave Pirner (from Soul Asylum!) and Elizabeth Elmore (of The Reputation... who I've never heard of either, but should investigate), playing the parts of the young lovers who have a one night stand in a rather extreme festival chillout tent.
She looked just like a baby bird All new and wet and trying to light a Parliament He quoted her some poetry, he's Tennyson in denim and sheepskin He looked a lot like Izzy Stradlin
They started kissing when the nurses took off their IVs It was kind of sexy but it was kind of creepy Their mouths were fizzy with the cherry cola They had the privacy of bedsheets and all the other kids were mostly in comas
1. Pulp - Sorted For E's & Whizz
As Jarvis explains in his introduction during the song's first public performance at Glastonbury '95, this song was originally written about outdoor raves. Yet it became synonymous with festivals in my mind for a number of reasons, not least because it was this show that cemented the band's reputation as the greatest of the Britpop era. The public spat between Blur and Oasis, arguing over that crown like spiteful schoolboys, sullied both their reputations. Meanwhile Pulp snuck in the back door, stepping in as final night Glasto headliners after the Stone Roses pulled out at the eleventh hour, and history gave them the prize. (Earlier this year, during Britpop's 20th Anniversary celebrations, it was Common People that was voted the nation's favourite anthem: not Country House or Roll With It.)
But the real reason this is my Number One Festival Song is that it reminds me more than any other of my own festival-going days - of watching Pulp live at Leeds ('96?) and experiencing a moment unlike any I'd ever had before... or would again. That was in the days before music festivals became TOO big and corporate... it wouldn't be long before the magic was stolen by giant screens you could only watch from half a mile away, sponsored wellies, beer tents and portaloos, and drunken crowds of idiots who'd never even heard of the headliners. I'd rather watch a music festival on TV these days... I really must be getting old. Still, back then, in that moment, I was one of just 20,000 people standing in a field... and it felt alright.
Those were my festival favourites... which one gets you lining up on the front row?
In case you were wondering why there's been a serious Top Ten drought round these parts lately, this post should explain. And yes, I was tempted to give the Number One slot to Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown.
I tried my best to stick to songs that were literally about moving house, so the likes of Curtis Mayfield, Primal Scream, Kate Bush and Supergrass (with songs about moving... or moving up... in a more general sense) will have to wait till another list. Likewise songs about leaving home...
And because I have no time to waffle on, I'll let the music do the talking this time. (Stop cheering, everybody.)
I'd like to move on down to Austin town Buy a purple house let the weeds grow out Livin' on my own with my garden gnomes They'd protect my home with their devil bones
When I get off the plane The first thing I'm gonna do is Strip naked to the waist And ride my Harley Davidson Up and down Sunset street I may even get a tattoo My problems are never gonna find me I'm not sending one letter or even a postcard back I'm drinking Henessey With Morrissey On a beach Out of reach Somewhere very far away
Pack up your dirty looks Your songs that have no hooks Your stacks of Modern Screen Your portrait of the Queen Your mangy cat away Your baby fat away You're headed that-a-way You're moving out today
Look, I don't mind if you skip this one. It's 10 and a half minutes long. According to the lyrics, it does apparently feature a rather amusing version of The Lord Is My Shepherd in which the sheep wreak their revenge through karate "and make the bugger's eyes water"... but you have to listen VERY carefully. I certainly couldn't hear it.
Being an Australian sheep seems a hell of a lot more dangerous than being a British sheep. Having to worry about crocodiles, poisonous spiders and Nick Cave... brr!
In which Kate falls asleep counting sheep and listening to the shipping forecast.
Ooh, their breath is warm And they smell like sleep, And they say they take me home.
If anyone else sang those lyrics, I'd snigger. Kate makes them magical.
1. The Housemartins - Sheep
You're right, of course, sometimes the only reason I compile these charts is to give me the opportunity to proclaim the supreme majesty of records such as this one.
By my calculation, Paul Heaton and Norman Cook were in their early 20s when they filmed this video... even though they both look about 12. Heaton still dresses like your grandad though.
Those were my sheep songs - no room for Woolly Bully, but that had its day in my Top Ten Knitwear Songs.
The Gartloney Rats they play away
They'd play for the pints and not for the pay
And the pints they'd go down in the usual way
And they'd never get drunk but stay sober
Sadly, the King Blues broke up earlier this year... just a few months after I discovered them. I miss them already.
So hats off to the schemers, to the scroungers, to the rats,
To the ones who sleep on mattresses on the floor, clutching baseball bats,
To the beggars and the cheaters and the kings who rise at noon,
To the scoundrels, the misfits, the parasites, this one’s for you.
The crummy live recording on youtube doesn't really do the song or the
band justice, but try and seek out the original if you can. It's well
worth your time.
Did Roddy “Radiation” Byers write Common People 15 years before Jarvis? (I had to check - I almost credited this to either Terry or Jerry.)
You plan your conversation to impress the college bar
Just talking about your Mother and Daddy's Jaguar
Wear your political T-shirt and sacred college scarf
Discussing the worlds situation but just for a laugh
Jack White makes songwriting look so damned easy, doesn't he?
1. The Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap
The best Bruce Springsteen song ever written by a bunch of Irish reprobates and their soon-to-be-swearing-on-TV frontman, Sir Bob. This is Born To Run without the escape clause. I've always loved this record.
Top of the Pops obviously made Mr. Geldof change the lyrics to the line "Pus and grime ooze from the scab-crusted sores". Unfortunately, I can't make out what he's singing instead. Any guesses?
These are the vermin I found scuttling about in my record collection. Which one is your pet rat?
Sadly, those rumours of Kate performing live for the first time in 30+ years at the Olympics closing ceremony proved to be just that. Then again, considering the standard of the performances that night, it was probably for the best.
Oh! England, my Lionheart! Peter Pan steals the kids in Kensington Park. You read me Shakespeare on the rolling Thames That old river poet that never, ever ends. Our thumping hearts hold the ravens in And keep the tower from tumbling.
The first Mumford song I ever heard and still my favourite. Not just for the wonderfully sweary chorus. It's become very fashionable of late to hate on the Mumfs, as usually happens when a band makes it big. Whatever their second album brings, I'll always love this song.
1. Billy Bragg - Life With The Lions
If "I hate the arsehole I become every time I'm with you" isn't one of the greatest opening lines ever, I don't know what is.
Many Lion Songs were left to slumber in the savannah sunshine during the compilation of this Top Ten. Did I exclude one of your favourites?
