I know a lot of people found the joke of the Ben Folds Five - that there were only three of them - to be rather smug, but they're still my favourite band with a Five in their name... yes, I like them even more than 5ive.
Sad to say, every one of those can be found in my hard-drive (except Five Hand Reel, I'm afraid). That's what I was doing while the rest of the male population were out drinking beer, watching football and meeting girls.
"But what about the Five songs?" I heard nobody cry.
I think you can probably work out for yourself why I'm not allowing that one. Not just because it already featured here in Week 55, but because if I started allowing every mention of a 5 as part of a bigger number, not only would that contravene the Tom Robinson Rule, it would also mean revisiting every song we featured in Week #15, #25, #35, #45, all the 50s, etc. etc. etc. My brain just melted at the very prospect.
Oh damnation - Just realised that the Tom Waits song is 55 so we've probably done that one. And suppose Manfred Mann's "5-4-3-2-1" is no use. *sigh*
That's more like it. Although there's something rather disturbing about the character described therein... and it probably contravenes all kinds of size-ist PC rules these days.
I wrote about bands with 5 in their title a while back when I published my 101st post - as has been pointed out around here before (by George I think) the binary number 101 equates to the decimal number 5 so the 101ers could be a contender.
I don't understand binary because I'm not a robot. These guys seem to understand it though...
My personal favourite is this one although it won't qualify I'm sure - George was at his best here and it made for a memorable performance shared many times in the aftermath of his death.
Les Georges Leningrand - George 5 (First time i heard this song it was on quite loud at home, came on a Rough Trade CD, i had to turn it down as i was worried i would scare the neighbours. It is one of the strangest songs i have ever heard but i love it, took a few listens though).
It was looking like Rigid Digit was definitely going for this week's booby prize... until he unearthed this little gem. An absolute cracker. I liked it so much, I wrote a short story with the same title.
Flagrant abuse of the rules there, RD. Watch out, Charity Chic will start comparing you to Dominic Cummings if you're not careful. Speak of the devil (CC, not DC, thankfully), here he is again...
Or what of "Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue (Has Anybody Seen My Gal?)", which since its penning in 1914 just about everyone has covered, but for the sake of argument here let's suggest Dean Martin's version as well as Guy Lombardo's. Not sure which of those two version my dad had in mind as he went about the house singing it throughout my childhood...
Sadly, I didn't have time to listen to or comment on any of The Swede's suggestions this week, because it's already 8.30 on Monday evening and I've not had my tea yet. I'm sure they were all lovely. I'm also not going to spend too long scraping my own hard drive this week. But here's a few...
However, much as I love that, I'm going to have to plump for the one suggested by C and Swiss Adam this week, mainly because it was the first one I thought of. Yes, it's a cover version of a track mentioned earlier. Or, more accurately, it's two cover versions in one, since it segues effortlessly into Petula Clark's I Know A Place about halfway through... and that's one of the reasons I love it.
As cover versions go there, it manages that rare trick of being better than the original. I think it may well be one of the most exciting songs I've ever heard (I know, I'm delirious from lack of food, humour me).
OK... who's ready for a little four-play?
(Apologies for any typos this week. I had no time to proofread!)
6. Self-destructive patients correct, condense and control.
One where you had to guess the band to identify the song... but I did give you three different clues for the band! (If anyone got this after 9pm last night, apologies.)
3. Good for lighting a fire under your date - when you just want to get out into the country!
Tinder is, I understand, what da young peeps are using to hook up these days. (And the older peeps who are still at it... dating, I mean, since once you're past 40 that other stuff is but a distant memory.)
If you were sick of the city, you'd want to get out to the country.
I've not had a whole lot of time for blogging lately, for small baby-related reasons (I'm not complaining!) However, I couldn't let the year pass without giving mention to the records that kept me sane throughout 2013. Before we get to the Top 20, here are a few interesting runners up...
30. Adam Ant - Adam Ant Is the BlueBlack Hussar Marrying the Gunner's Daughter
The album title alone gets it through the door. It's good to have him back.
There's
no denying Jake Bugg can write both a TUNE and zeitgeisty lyric, and
his debut album did crack me after a good few listens. Whether this will
do the same, I've yet to see, I only got it a couple of weeks back.
However, I did buy another record on the same day that's already made it
into my Top 10. Sometimes though, growers are better than immediate
sparklers. Only time will tell.
A concept album about a world where teenagers are illegal... or something. Hardly Tommy, and nowhere near as mindblastingly wonderful as their last record... but I do hope its lack of success doesn't put them off.
If you want to get picky, this was originally released last year. But it got a big boost this summer by the promotion of its Velvets-meets-Pavement single, Stoned & Starving. If every track on the album had been as strong as that, this might have made my Top 3.
Who knows what goes through Brett & Rennie's minds? On their latest record, each track was named after a woodland critter. The songs were about far more than wildlife though...
Re-listening to this record in preparation for this countdown, I came to the conclusion I haven't given it enough time. So I've taken it to play in the car. In another couple of weeks, it might be Top 10.
Luke Haines's latest concept album insanity was a children's fable about three rock 'n' roll animals (Jimmy Pursey, a fox; Gene Vincent, a cat; and a badger called Nick Lowe) who travel up country to battle the evil Angel of the North. Narrated by Julia Davis, naturally.
Good to hear Johnny finally deliver the solo album we always knew he was capable of. Shame his former partner is too busy penning Penguin Classics to lend him a few spare lyrics. We can but dream...
Alex Turner's Elvis-channeling Glasto performance and the NME's Album of the Year notwithstanding, this was just another year in the life of the Sheffield Monkees. Again, I only picked up their latest album a few weeks back and perhaps with a few more listens it might have crept into my Top 20. But I can tell already it's not up there with their debut or even their last two records. It might be better than Favourite Worst Nightmare... or I might just be being churlish.
I
learnt a new initialism the other day. IDM: Intenillgent Dance Music.
The only kind I'm remotely interested in. This track begins like many
rap records, focusing heavily on the chorus and rhymes... and then,
Scroob' goes off-message and starts telling us about a crazy dream he
had. Mesmerising.
Now I'm sure you've had times when you've felt down or angry,
Wanted to lash out, punch a wall and be manly,
But the question I pose now will offer you a plan B,
And maybe some peace and quiet for your friends and family,
How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood,
And then just be... in... a good mood?
That's all I have to say because it's a straight up fact,
You control your emotions it's as simple as that".
An unrequited childhood romance leads Diana into heartbreak... and she's still waiting.
1. Billy Bragg - Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards
No other song sums up everything that's great about Billy Bragg like this - the relationship angst, the outspoken politics, the clever wordplay, the self-deprecating wit... it's crammed full of quotable lines. (One of my favourite T-shirts reads 'The revolution is just a T-shirt away'.) And every time Billy performs it live, he updates the lyrics. Beam me up, Scotty!
Mixing pop and politics He asks me what the use is I offer him embarrasment and my usual excuses While looking down the corridor Out to where the van is waiting I'm looking for the great leap forwards
So many great waiting songs, one Top Ten just wasn't enough. If Louise and I are still waiting later in the week, I'll post Volume 2. If you're still waiting for your favourite, you might find it there.
However, if our waiting is rewarded in the meantime... you'll have to wait.
For those of you who prefer a colder option, they also recorded a version called If The World Should End In Ice. (Though it's not available on youtube.)
There's a man going around taking names And he decides who to free and who to blame Everybody won't be treated all the same There'll be a golden ladder reaching down When the Man comes around
I can't think of anyone better to narrate the end of the world. If you don't fancy looking out your window today, just listen to this and let Nick describe what's happening out there for you...
1. REM - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Some Number One's are inevitable. Although, knowing Michael Stipe, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the End Times, it's probably the recipe for a cake he was making that night or something.
That's great it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes and aeroplane
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves it's own needs, dummy serve your own needs
Then bake for three hours or until golden brown.
So, that's what I'll be listening to as it all goes down. What's the last song on your playlist?
