Snapshots #427: Songs About Christmas Presents

For our seasonal edition, we asked some of our favourite pop stars (and Bono - well, it is the season of good will) what they wanted for Christmas. Here are their replies... might give you some ideas for last minute Christmas shopping!

25. Found disrupted in one ugly... bloke.

"In one ugly" was an anagram.

Neil wants a Transformer, man.

Neil Young – Transformer Man

24. Sounds like we’re both in the same boat.

You too?

Bono wants a kite. Hope it doesn't get caught in any pylons.

U2 - Kite

23. The heavenly nouveau riche.

I did have to google synonyms for Upstarts.

Angelic Upstarts – Action Man

22. The Royal Airforce, For Instance.

RAF, FI.

Raffi – Old Toy Trains

21. Sassenachs.

Bad English – Rockin’ Horse

20. Robins in an American garden.

The Yardbirds – Puzzles

19. Leave Nelson unplanted.

Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

18. Fusion combo.

The Mixtures - The Pushbike Song

17. Wings that sting.

Macca-bees.

The Maccabees – Lego

16. Your plans to buy a Prince album are cancelled due to bad weather.

It's going to rain on your copy of Parade.

The Rain Parade - Kaleidoscope

15. Watch out - these fellas scam you!

"Fellas scam" was an anagram. There's an uncredited PP Arnold on this song too...

Small Faces - Tin Soldier

14. You’ll find them in the next church you visit.

In the next church you visit.

XTC – Spinning Top

13. Tutankhamun stuck on a Swiss mountain.

The Mönch is a mountain in Switzerland.

Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says

12. Home to the Basement Tapes.

Bob Dylan & The Band recorded The Basement Tapes in The Big Pink.

The Big Pink - Dominos

11. Favoured by Constable, Monet and O’Keeffe.

They all liked to paint landscapes.

Landscape – Doll’s House

10. Sounds like the connection between a misty streaker and a spooky train robber.

Ray Stevens sang Misty. Ray Parker Jr. sang about a Ghost Buster. The link sounds like Ray.

Link Wray – Slinky!

9. Ensemble brought in by Coldplay and Pilot Olivia to perform their songs.

Coldplay sang Yellow. Olivia and Pilot both sang Magic.

Yellow Magic Orchestra – Computer Game

8. What an Amazonian… or, um, his offspring… might spend their money on.

Jeff (Bezos)... and, er... son... likes a nice starship.

Jefferson Starship – Skateboard

7. Moonlight Maddie meets a Kung Fu Fighter.

In Moonlighting, Cybil Shepherd played Maddie Hates. Carl Douglas was a kung fu fighter.

Hayes Carll - (KMAG) YOYO

6. Scared by the fireplace bogeyman? Find solace within.

Fireplace bogeyman.

Placebo – Plasticine

5. Plug in hedge trimmer.

The Electric Prunes – Wind-Up Toys

4. Phoney rappers are non-returnable protagonists.

The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy – Water Pistol Man

3. Caveman, Haddock, Kirk… they’re an unhappy bunch!

My Sad Captains - Building Blocks
 

2. Theme park owner.

Dollywood!

Dolly Parton – Backwoods Barbie

Presumably you need a Redneck Ken to go with that.

1. Skinks on a plane.

What we all really want for Christmas!

1. The Flying Lizards - Money 

Hopefully that will give you all some ideas for last minute gifts.

Have a good one.

More of this nonsense after Boxing Day.

Celebrity Jukebox #67: Barrett Strong

It didn't seem like two minutes since I was eulogising Lamont Dozier, when last week came the news of Barrett Strong's passing. The top song I played for Lamont is just as fitting here...

Norman Whitfield & Barrett Strong

Are here to make right every thing that's wrong

Billy Bragg - Levi Stubbs' Tears

As a singer, Barrett Strong is best remember for the original version of Money (That’s What I Want), a song that would later be covered by both the Beatles & the Stones... not to mention The Flying Lizards. Berry Gordy claimed he wrote the tune, and removed Barrett's name from the songwriting credits... Barrett remembered it differently, but wasn't going to bite the hand that fed... even if it wasn't feeding half as much as it should have been.

Barrett Strong - Money (That’s What I Want)

Strong & Whitfield would get credit for many other classics though, including Papa Was A Rolling Stone, War, Wherever I Lay My Hat (with Marvin Gaye), and I Heard It Through The Grapevine.

But who, besides Billy Bragg, has paid lyrical tribute to Barrett Strong? Let's open up the jukebox and see.

Let's start with a "One-Man Punk Band" from Norway-via-West Virginia...

And if she wants to know what's wrong,

(Ask) my Tanqueray, and my Barrett Strong,

And if she lets me wait my turn

I'll show her all my 20 class A cigarette burns,

Yeah.

J. Marinelli - 20 Class A Cigarette Burns

...and let's finish there too, more's the pity. Compared to Lamont, Barrett doesn't really get the lyrical tributes he deserves. Which I find odd, considering it's much easier to rhyme Strong that Dozier. So let's close with another Whitfield / Strong classic. RIP, Barrett.

Saturday Snapshots #143 - The Answers

Welcome to the Hunger Games... because you're all hungry for the answers! So let's get going...



10. Where mustangs work out, near Coben's home.

(Ford) Mustangs work out at the gym.

The Coben was Harlan Coben. (I couldn't think of any other Harlans.)

Jim Ford - Harlan County

9. Wall, Hill & Baker. Power fantasies.

Wall, Hill and Baker are all famous streets.

The Streets - Weak Become Heroes

8. Dracos bread.

Dracos are flying lizards.

Bread is money.

The Flying Lizards - Money

7. When Bridget Jones leaves, via the sinister slope.

Bridget Jones was played by Renee Zellweger.

Sinister is left in Latin.

The Left Banke - Walk Away, Renee

6. Milo O'Shea isn't in 2D... but he could eat a horse.

Milo O'Shea played the character Dr. Durand Durand in Barbarella. Take two Ds away and you get...

Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf

5. Beware - women with javelins live here! Winners drive home in their sports cars.

Fatima Whitbread was a champion javelin thrower.

Fatima Mansions - Only Losers Take The Bus

4. One notch in on the belt for Riverdale campanologist and doctors from hell.

Tighten that belt!

Riverdale is the home of Archie.

Campanologists ring bells.

Dr-Hell... "Dr'ell".

Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten Up

3. Cyclone where the Boys meet the Boss, darling.

A cyclone is air curving round and round and round really fast. (Trust me, I'm a scientist.)

Backstreet Boys.

Bruce also sang about the Backstreets.

Curved Air - Backstreet Luv

2. Bloke who drives a modern taxi downs gin with a cherry.

A modern taxi is an Uber. (Don't ask me, I never liked taxis... you're not going to get me in a taxi driven by an amateur!)

Gin blossoms. Cherry blossoms.

Downs = falls.

Ooberman - Blossoms Falling

1. Aretha Bee Chesspiece... Graham Greene.

Aretha was the queen of soul.

Queen bee. 

Chess.

Graeme Greene wrote Brighton Rock.

More Joy... and a great deal of Mystique... next Saturday.

My Top Ten Greed Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #3)

Back to the 7 deadly sings... with ten songs about greed (as opposed to stuffing your face gluttony).



10. Seth Lakeman - Greed & Gold

Forever the loneliest road.

9. Cracker - I Want Everything

First of a number of songs on this chart by artists who won't be happy till they've got it all. Greedy buggers.

8. Dan Fogelberg and Tim Weisberg - The Power of Gold

Are you under the power of gold? 

The late Dan Fogelberg. Top man.

7. Hefner - The Greedy Ugly People

The Greedy Ugly People are not like us,
They don't feel the love that she and I would die without.

A sweet love story about how the rest of the world are a bunch of greedy, ugly bastards...

Love don't stop no wars, don't stop no cancer,
It stops my heart.

6. The Flying Lizards - Money (That's What I Want)

There are, of course, thousands of pop songs about love of money. They deserve, at least, a Top Ten of their own. There are also about a hundred different versions of this song, originally written and recorded by the mighty Barrett Strong back in 1959. But I love this version more than any other because it's truly unique... and because the video is like 1979 in a bottle.

5. Aztec Camera - All I Need Is Everything

Poor old Roddy, he didn't quite get it all. Although going from the video, he must have been about 12 when he recorded this, so he did pretty well for such a young 'un.

4. Go-Kart Mozart - We're Selfish & Lazy & Greedy

Three sins in one! Go, Lawrence!

People like me, oh we don't give a damn
We like staying bed if we can...

3. Rufus Wainwright - Give Me What I Want and Give It to Me Now!

Give me what I want 
And give it to me now!
Don't be such a greedy sow...

...Rufus threatens, before going on to reveal his own greed...

I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
With a biblical kiss,
I will eat you, your folks
And your kids for breakfast!

And then he gets really bitchy:

I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
That I would never wish
Death upon you, your cats
And your throw cushions on Christmas!

2. Queen - I Want It All

Thus did Freddie live his life...

1. The Wonder Stuff - Give, Give, Give Me More, More, More

It's about time The Wonder Stuff had a Number One round here, considering how much I loved them. 

Well,  hope I make more money than this in the next world...

Damn right!




I know, you want them all, don't you?