My Top Ten Envy Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #6)

The more I thought about this particular sin, the more I realised it was an impossible task: I reckon at least 50% of all  pop songs ever written deal with envy of one kind or another. Here, then, are some of the most blatant...


10. Ash - Envy

Remember when Ash were a 4-piece? I envy those guys, getting to play with Charlotte Hatherley... for as long as it lasted.

9. Octopus - Jealousy

Three cheers for obscure 90s indie! Three cheers for the youtube commenter who claims "the lead singer of this band is an English teacher at my school now".

8. Nick Lowe - Where's My Everything?

This one almost made it onto the third deadly sin, but I decided it's more to do with jealousy than greed.

Where is the beautiful family home
That I was promised on the news at ten?
Like my personal place in the sun
It never happened along

And as for the greatest love of all
That's been sworn in a billion lines
And is mine by birthright
I'll bet I'll see none

7. Momus - A Complete History Of Sexual Jealousy (Parts 17 To 24)

Yes, I did include this on my Top Ten Sexual Songs, but it's far too good not to feature here too. Just wait for my Top Ten History Songs!

I'm jealous of the man the man you broke the heart of
Broke the heart of
I'm jealous of the men you knew before
In a life that I can never be a part of
There's more than meets the eye
In the way a stranger meets your eye, I know there's more
A Complete History of Sexual Jealousy, Parts 17-24

6. John Lennon - Jealous Guy

Given my aversion to all things Beatlacular, you might have expected me to go for the Roxy Music version. But I watched that on youtube and Bryan Ferry's 80's leer scared the bejeebus out of me, so I think I'll stick with the original.

See also Jealous Guy by Art Brut... although it only shares the title.

5. Queen - Jealousy

It's sad that they're going for a PG-friendly take on the Freddie Mercury biopic, and that in choosing to do so they've discouraged Sacha Baron-Cohen from taking part.

Still, we'll always have the real Freddie, whenever we listen to songs like this.

4. The Black Crowes - Jealous Again

The Crowes at the most Stoned. (Rolling, that is.)

3. Del Amitri - Just Like A Man

So I'm thinking "who's most likely to have written a song about jealousy... even if they haven't given an obvious nod in the song's title?" Before I even remembered this song, I thought: Justin Currie.

And just like a man he holds you gently
And just like a man he strokes your hair
And just like a man I still pretend that I'm
Immune to the whole affair...

2. The Pet Shop Boys - Jealousy

Poor Neil: he looks so glum. Somebody give him a hug!

Where've you been?
Who've you seen?
You didn't phone when you said you would!
Do you lie?
Do you try
To keep in touch? You know you could
I've tried to see your point of view
But could not hear or see
For jealousy

One of their best. Dubstar did a lovely version too.

1. Meat Loaf - More Than You Deserve

I almost put this in my Top Ten Greed Songs too, but having watched the video, I realised it's more about jealousy. It's a simple enough tale in which Meat falls in love with a girl, only to catch her making love to his best friend. Only, in classic Jim Steinman style, that's not quite enough. Before Meat knows what's happening, the object of his affection is getting off with not one of his best friends... but two... and, eventually, a whole group of them! Basically, she'll shag everyone he knows (all at once, by the sound of it): the only one she won't touch with a barge pole is poor old Meat himself. Being the nice guy he is though, Meat is prepared to step aside and watch this happen... through gritted teeth...

Won't you take some more?
It's what you came for
And don't mind me
I won't throw you no curve
Have yourself a ball with my good woman
Won't you take some more, boys?
It's more than you deserve...

(The bit where Meat bellows, "Listen here, group!" makes me howl with laughter while my heart simultaneously breaks into a million pieces every time I hear it.)

I was frankly horrified to discover I'd lived 41 years of my life ignorant to the fact that this song had a video. Perhaps the greatest video ever recorded in the history of videos. The Citizen Kane of music videos. There are times in my life when I think I could happily survive on a desert island with nothing but the complete Jim Steinman / Meat Loaf collaborations to sustain me. Having finally seen this video, I think I could even make do with just a ratty old VHS of this promo and nothing else. It's more than I deserve...

Also: Jack Black stole his entire act from Meat Loaf. Fact. 




Which song brings out your green-eyed monster?

My Top Ten Sloth Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #4)

Yawn. I really can't be bothered introducing the fourth deadly sin...


10. Oasis - The Importance Of Being Idle

Yes, I chose an Oasis song. It's not completely unheard of. I reckon this is one of their best, perhaps because it owes far more to The Kinks than The Beatles. Plus I like Rhys Ifans in the video... but more on that later.

9. The Charlatans - Can't Get Out Of Bed

See also Can't Get Up by Supergrass, I Should Get Up by Teddy Thompson and, of course, Get Out Of Your Lazy Bed by Matt Bianco. Give it time, I'll do a whole Top Ten of them.

8. Moxy Früvous - The Lazy Boy

Ah, Moxy. Whatever happened?

I have a life of pleasure
I am submerged in armchair leisure
I put my feet on the ottoman....empire!

7. Belle & Sebastian - Lazy Line Painter Jane

Another infamous lazybones, Stuart Murdoch did write most of his most famous songs in his bedroom. See also Sleep The Clock Around and We Are The Sleepyheads

6. Suede - Lazy 

Here they come, gone 7am
Getting satellite and Sky, getting cable,
Bills and Bens and their mums and their friends
Who just really, really want to be loved,
Uncle Teds and their legendary vests
Helping out around the disabled,
From the flats and the maisonettes
They're reminding us there's things to be done.

Nothing lazy about those lyrics.

See also the gorgeous One Lazy Morning by Brett Anderson, solo (i.e. the rest of the band stayed in bed).

5. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon

As in "Lazing on a..."

Poor old Ray, the taxman's taken everything he's got.

See also Dead End Street... then go listen to that Oasis song again. (Lazy Noel even nicked the video from Ray & Dave.)

4. The Supernaturals - Lazy Lover

What a bunch of lazy bleeders the Supernaturals were - not only lazy lovers who can't be bothered getting into bed... but when they eventually do, they moan I Wasn't Built To Get Up. They can't even stay awake in their videos.

See also this little ditty from The Auteurs, who have apparently been married to The Supernaturals for 20 years.

3. The Small Faces - Lazy Sunday

Probably should have been Number One... but I just couldn't be bothered.

Gor blimey, hello, Mrs. Jones - how's your Burt's lumbago?

2. Morrissey - Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning

When it came time to select songs about sloth, Morrissey was obviously going to feature. Take your pick from The Lazy Sunbathers or All The Lazy Dykes... but this one's my favourite: quintessential Mozzer... 

Please don't worry
There'll be no fuss
She was... nobody's nothing
 
When he awoke
The sea was calm
And another day passes like a dream

1. The Lemonheads - The Outdoor Type

While the rest of the artists on this Top Ten are bone idle Brits (with the exception of comatose Canadians Moxy Früvous), the laziest man in rock has to be American "Slacker King" Evan Dando. This could well be my favourite Lemonheads song, in which Evan confesses his lethargic credentials...

I can't go away with you on a rock climbing weekend
What if something's on TV and it's never shown again?
It's just as well I'm not invited, I'm afraid of heights
I lied about being the outdoor type

Can you be bothered to leave a comment?

My Top Ten Greed Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #3)

Back to the 7 deadly sings... with ten songs about greed (as opposed to stuffing your face gluttony).



10. Seth Lakeman - Greed & Gold

Forever the loneliest road.

9. Cracker - I Want Everything

First of a number of songs on this chart by artists who won't be happy till they've got it all. Greedy buggers.

8. Dan Fogelberg and Tim Weisberg - The Power of Gold

Are you under the power of gold? 

The late Dan Fogelberg. Top man.

7. Hefner - The Greedy Ugly People

The Greedy Ugly People are not like us,
They don't feel the love that she and I would die without.

A sweet love story about how the rest of the world are a bunch of greedy, ugly bastards...

Love don't stop no wars, don't stop no cancer,
It stops my heart.

6. The Flying Lizards - Money (That's What I Want)

There are, of course, thousands of pop songs about love of money. They deserve, at least, a Top Ten of their own. There are also about a hundred different versions of this song, originally written and recorded by the mighty Barrett Strong back in 1959. But I love this version more than any other because it's truly unique... and because the video is like 1979 in a bottle.

5. Aztec Camera - All I Need Is Everything

Poor old Roddy, he didn't quite get it all. Although going from the video, he must have been about 12 when he recorded this, so he did pretty well for such a young 'un.

4. Go-Kart Mozart - We're Selfish & Lazy & Greedy

Three sins in one! Go, Lawrence!

People like me, oh we don't give a damn
We like staying bed if we can...

3. Rufus Wainwright - Give Me What I Want and Give It to Me Now!

Give me what I want 
And give it to me now!
Don't be such a greedy sow...

...Rufus threatens, before going on to reveal his own greed...

I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
With a biblical kiss,
I will eat you, your folks
And your kids for breakfast!

And then he gets really bitchy:

I'm the one who has
And I will tell you this,
That I would never wish
Death upon you, your cats
And your throw cushions on Christmas!

2. Queen - I Want It All

Thus did Freddie live his life...

1. The Wonder Stuff - Give, Give, Give Me More, More, More

It's about time The Wonder Stuff had a Number One round here, considering how much I loved them. 

Well,  hope I make more money than this in the next world...

Damn right!




I know, you want them all, don't you?

My Top Ten Gluttony Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #2)

The Seven Deadly Sing Songs continues...

Gluttony comes second. As greed is third, and the two are somewhat intertwined, I've tried to draw a line between them. Chances are, if you don't hear it here, I saved it for the Greed Top Ten. Gluttony songs tended to be more about overdoing it...

Special mention to INXS, naturally. 


10. Toto Coelo - I Eat Cannibals

The 17th biggest selling single of 1983... in South Africa.

That seems pretty gluttonous to me.

9. Marianne Faithfull - Gluttony

Marianne tells the story of a model who loves to eat but signs a contract to stay slim...

There's no market for hippos in Philadelphia!

You'll have to take my word as youtube's never heard of it.

8. Ash - Palace of Excess

Dancing with the trustafarian girls...

Yes, I had to google "trustafarian". But it fits.

7. Motörhead - Eat The Rich

Get well soon, Lemmy!

Eat the Rich: there's only one thing they're good for
Eat the Rich: take one bite now - come back for more
Eat the Rich: don't stop me now I'm goin' crazy
Eat the Rich: that's my idea of a good time baby

Verges on the Greed Top Ten, but I chose to include it here.

6. Hey, Elastica! - Eat Your Heart Out

From 1982, in case you were thinking they were saying hello to Justine Frischmann.

See also Eat Your Heart Out by Dio which is also from the early 80s but might as well be from a different planet.

5. Art Brut - Just Desserts

Whenever Eddie gets hurt, he skips dinner and has a big dessert...

I know I should take better care of my health 
But when I'm down, vegetables don't help...

4. Jellyfish - Glutton of Sympathy

I know this probably gets boring, but I can't help it: this song is 20 years old.

Now I'm officially depressed.Not enough to eat a Jellyfish though.

3. Ben Folds - All U Can Eat

Son, look at all the people in this restaurant
What d'you think they weigh?
And out the window to the parking lot
At their SUVs taking all of the space

You know the sort of people he's singing about.

2. Peter Gabriel - Big Time  

Hi there! 

Peter overdoes it in every area of his life... his belly's getting bigger - and his bank account.

My parties have all the big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure
And always they're amazed
When I show them round the house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
And my heaven will be a big heaven
And I will walk through the front door

1. Buckcherry - Gluttony

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Also: ROCKS.

From the new album Confessions which features a song for each of the 7 deadly sins. We may return to that at a later date. No promises. 



Please, sir, can you have some more?

My Top Ten Lust Songs (Seven Deadly Sins #1)

Here's a Top Ten theme I originally came up with about seven years ago (for the old blog) but never got round to posting it. I'm not going to run them consecutively as that'd get boring, but I'll drop one in every now and then over the next few weeks.


The first deadly sin is lust. Turns out there's enough songs with lust in the title that I don't have to cast my net any further. That won't be the case with the rest of the sins...


10. The Raveonettes - Lust

From the album Lust Lust Lust.

Points deducted for trying too hard.

9. Sportsday Megaphone - Young Lust

Never lend the house to lovers, they leave stains... one for the Top Ten Opening Lines chart too.

8. Frank Turner - Wanderlust

Darling, he's leaving.

See also Wanderlust by Delays, Wanderlust by REM and Wanderluster by Band of Skulls.

7. Neon Neon featuring Cate Le Bon - I Lust U

No relation to Simon, you'll be pleased to hear.

This song probably has more than a passing resemblance to People Are People by our Number Three band today. Still.

And while we're with Gruff Rhys, have Atomik Lust be the Super Furries. No extra charge.

6. Skint & Demoralised - Only Lust Ignores Violence Involving Ambulances

Wakefield's finest contemporary beat poet stumbles across a girl he fancies in the local pub... then gets beaten up by her boyfriend for his sins.

It's the kind of look that shits you up
In so many different ways
It's the size of his eyes and he won't give up
Transfixed with a piercing gaze
I can get the gist
This guy's pissed
And if I don't move, he'll use his fists
See that the violence stops

5. The The - Dogs Of Lust

Featuring Johnny Marr, on guitar. 'Nuff said.

4. Juliana Hatfield - Just Lust

It doesn't mean she loves you. It doesn't even mean she likes you very much.

See also Just Lust by Joan Jett and Just Lust by The Buzzcocks. 

3. Depeche Mode - A Question Of Lust

Dave Gahan sits one out and lets Martin Gore (with his pink mushroom cloud hair) sing this one. Their follow up single was A Question Of Time. The third in the trilogy, a proposed duet with David Coleman, Emlyn Hughes and Bill Beaumont, sadly never made it to the studio*.

(*Showing my age there,  know.)

2. The Long Blondes - Lust In The Movies

I know all about fear and desire
I know all about lust et cetera

I know all about missing The Long Blondes.

1. Iggy Pop - Lust For Life

Iggy, Bowie and the Supremes combine for a song that's worth a million in prizes. Of course you've had it in your ear before...





Choose life!

But feel free to choose another lust song if you prefer...