I didn't take History at school, so I know very little about the Kings & Queens of England, Scotland & Wales. Everything I do know, I learned from songs...
When I was in Primary School we still got a bottle of milk to drink every morning. In winter it was ice cold but in summer it was very warm and not so nice at all. I remember our teacher standing over one girl every milk time forcing her to finish her bottle of and we all had to wait as it took her a long time, going down only an 1/8th of an inch (pre-decimal times) every minute. Wouldn't happen nowadays of course - not been milk since the days of Thatcher the Snatcher and of course so many children now have intolerances to dairy.
This opened up a whole can of memory worms for me… but a couple of things first...
Kids do still get school milk – it’s just not free anymore (and not in bottles). Parents have to pay for it – unless they can’t afford, in which case it’s supplemented. Sam’s 10 now and still gets milk at school. He also drinks any leftover cartons he can get his hands on.
(Sam and his mates have likewise formed a Leftovers Club at dinner time. They make sure they’re the last in the dinner queue, then they’re more likely to be offered seconds after everyone’s finished their lunch.)
Speaking of an intolerance to dairy though, Alyson… this is exactly what I had when I was a kid. I still do, though it’s a rather odd variety of intolerance. I just can’t drink milk, especially if it’s cold. If I try, it makes me throw up. I’m fine with anything else dairy-related – cheese, yoghurt… no problem. I’m also OK with boiled milk, in certain circumstances. That’s how my mum used to serve me cereal – Weetabix, Frosties, Coco Pops etc… always with hot milk. If I tried to eat them with cold milk… bleurggghh! I’ve never been able to drink milk shakes either. Not without gipping. Sorry, Kelis. You milkshake wouldn't bring me to the yard.
I’m not sure I was aware of all this when I started Primary School, and I doubt my mum thought to mention it. On the first day of school then, out came the school milk bottles… “Drink up, children!”
My first teacher, Mrs. Kay (picture Julie Andrews, but slightly more posh) was a shrewd lady who quickly realised I couldn’t keep milk down, so she stopped offering it to me. (Saved her having to clean up her classroom every day.) When the school milk came out, I was excused.
Mrs. Tebb did not like me. That’s pretty much all I remember about her. Every other teacher at my junior school, I got on with OK. Not Mrs. Tebb though. She hated me. And maybe that’s because of what happened on the day I arrived in her class… but if so, she only brought it on herself.
“Time for your milk, children!”
“But, Mrs. Tebb, I don’t drink milk. It makes me sick.”
“Nonsense. Milk is good for you. It’s good for your teeth and your bones and your everyday health! Milk is nature’s perfect food!”
Back in 2007, Sheffield band Tiny Dancers put out their only album on the back of opening for Bob Dylan's UK tour the year before. The LP was called Free School Milk. This was their debut single, released on my 35th birthday.
US Power Pop star Dwight Twilley left us last week, at the age of just 72. I reckon I first came across Dwight's music through our old pal Brian. Yes, here he is to tell us more. And here's a classic slice of Dwight...
And here's a modern band who were clearly influenced by Dwight's sound...
Hey Sammy
Do you wanna go for a ride
Get Shitty
Can you feel it on a Saturday night
Dwight Twilley
Blowin' up your mama's hi-fi
No really
I'm so glad we're in it tonight
Actor Burt Young also passed last week. No mentions in the jukebox, but I couldn't let Rocky's brother-in-law go without at least a mention...
For fans of the inexplicably popular ball kicking activity, this week's biggest celebrity death will be that of Sir Bobby Charlton, of whom the most I can honestly say is that I've heard of him. And so has the jukebox...
There was a short-lived band from Bradford in the early 90s called The Bobby Charltons. Sadly, their music appears to have never founds its was onto the interweb. Herman's Hermits have though... and here they are with an ode to the team for whom Sir Bobby played most of his football...
Here's a rather patriotic (I'm hoping sarcastically so, but no quite sure) anthem from Staffordshire rock band Demon. Worth including because it's the first time I've seen Morecambe & Wise mentioned in song...
Even more worrying is Elton John's version of Give Peace A Chance. I'm all for a bit of Elton, but the whole Spike Milligan / Frankie Howerd routine gets a bit much...
Everybody in the Soviet Union, unite
Go down to the shops and talk about John and Yoko
Timothy Leary, Barbara Windsor, Yoko Ono, Madonna
Bobby Dylan, Bobby Charlton, Eddie Charlton
Tommy Cooper and the Amazing Horseradish Dancers
Derek Baker, Norman Mailer, Alan Ginsberg and the Hare Krishna Three
Since the New Order detente detailed on Monday, I feel a little more charitable towards the following track... though New Order + Football is still a tough ask in this house.
Miki Pannell is from Italy. According to his bandcamp page, he's been in the following bands... Demented Are Go. Aaron Memphis, Spectacular Band, The Hugs, Soulteros, 33 Revolucciones, Showdown, Stressless Rockin' Band, Zak Washington and the Boogiemen, Rose Tinted Spectacles, Something Shocking, The Court Jesters, Rhythm Bound and The Royal Scumbag Orchestra. He remembers Bobby for that famous comb-over...
Remember bald is beautiful, Yul Brinner could be you
So if you start to lose it, here's what you've got to do
Don't do a Bobby Charlton, accept it with some grace!
Go and shave your head... And put a smile upon your face
The tune that made the most impact on me today though was this one from Jenner Fox, who is American (so please excuse his use of the word "soccer"), but still tells an emotive tale about a young British football fan who grows up to coach an American soccer team. Bobby gets a mention, alongside a number of other footballing greats, but the reason this song resonated with me is that the young lad's dad was clearly not a football fan, and that's something he remembers from his youth.
Hey Ya! If you've been Outkast for not knowing the answers to Saturday Snapshots, don't be Unhappy. Yesterday was a 3-all tie for the Early Bird prize between Lynchie & Alyson, but I'm going to award the actual prize to C who spotted those that turned out to be the hardest this week, #5, #1 (with a lot of help from Chris) and especially #10.
It's time to shake it like a Polaroid picture...
10. Bowie's tenant says goodbye.
Most obscure band ever featured here?
David Bowie had an album called Lodger.
"Lodger was formed in 1997 by Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his girlfriend Pearl Lowe, the former vocalist with Powder. The line-up was completed by co-vocalist Neil Carlill and guitarist Will Foster, both of Delicatessen."
(Up until putting this post together, I honestly thought this was Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics. Turns out he was actually the keyboardist in a number of prog bands: Uriel, Egg, Khan, Hatfield and the North, National Health, and Bruford. Gaskin was in some of those bands too.)
4. Fairytale brothers tell cruel stories about cursed beavers.
The Brothers Grimm tell fiendish stories about damned dams?
When time is short, I have certain fallback places to go to on this feature. This week, we're a couple of miles from the centre of Manchester, in a suburb where, way back in 1982, a young band were formed called Venereal and the Diseases. Catchy, eh?
After a while they changed their name to Volume Distortion, then Model Team International, eventually shortened to Model Team, under which name they supported The Fall. Then they found themselves a lead singer and changed their name to Tribal Outlook before settling on a name that would eventually propel them to fame.
Any ideas what that name was?
(Answer right at the bottom of this post.)
Sometime later, the band in question would support another young Manchester band, whose lyricist once wrote a song that went a little like this...
What do we get for our trouble and pain?
Just a rented room in Whalley Range
What do we get for our trouble and pain?
...Whalley Range!
The first time I drove past a sign for Whalley Range in Manchester, I was on my way to visit a friend who lived not far from there. A little shudder of excitement went down my spine and this song popped into my head...
Surprisingly, Morrissey wasn't the first person to immortalise Whalley Range in song. Peter Noone beat him to it by about 20 years...
