I didn't take History at school, so I know very little about the Kings & Queens of England, Scotland & Wales. Everything I do know, I learned from songs...
I always imagined it was BBC interns in the Blobby suit that Edmonds played some weird fetish game with by making them wear the suit...
Who was the death?
Jim Steinman.
The Footloose guy? Wasn't that the other day?
I only saw it today. He didn't write Footloose. That was Kenny Loggins. He did write Holding Out For A Hero, but that's a lesser work. He also wrote all the good Meat Loaf songs, plus Total Eclipse of the Heart and some stuff that Celine Dion murdered, but was done far better by others.
Chuck Berry + Phil Spector + Springsteen + Wagner + a shameless sense of melodrama and hyperbole = Jim Steinman.
Wagner as in...?
Or Wagner as in...?
Richard.
Seems like it could be a little of both, actually.
I think that's a fair point.
Did I ever tell you about how one of my old best mate's girlfriend's parents were Rod Stewart and Tina Turner tribute acts? Big ones.
They had a house in Penistone. One of the massive ones on the river.
We used to stay over a lot. They were really nice and loved hosting us all the time. They had a recording studio in their garden where they, and other tribute acts would record.
One of the most surreal moments in my life is waking up, hungover, walking into their kitchen and seeing Rod Stewart, Marc Bolan and Meatloaf smoking weed.
Sounds like that Pulp video...
I don't think I've ever seen the video. I thought it was the video to Disney Time. No idea why.
And now I remember that Disney Time is on Cocker's solo album.
I'd forgotten that track completely.
Some forgettable tunes on that album. Especially when it starts with the swagger of Don't Let Him Waste Your Time. It definitely trails off.
Maybe. I love that final Pulp album though.
It's the one I've listened to the least. Listening priority in order: This Is Hardcore, His N Hers, Different Class, PULP. Does anybody even count the first two?
By Pulp do you mean Intro?
There were 4 albums before Intro / HnH. All contain interesting material, but not up to later standards.
Fairgroundis a terrible song and that's all I can think about with their old stuff.
For me, We Love Life is the perfect coda to their career. I love TIH (favourite album of 90s) but I prefer that they went out on a happy note.
Scott Walker too. Pop sensibilities SW, not mad old hermit making unlistenable twaddle SW. Quite an achievement.
First text from the boss this morning came through at 6.20.
Tell her to leave you alone. That is not just not on, it's absolutely pathetic.
I have.
Send her an envelope full of flour. Make her think it's ricin or anthrax.
She'd only ring me up and ask her what I thought she should do with it.
Well, this week's Taskmaster should hopefully cheer you up. A very funny one.
One word.
Casserole.
I await the vague upward curl at the edge of my mouth.
In reply, Ben sends the following video...
I think that's the least hip song you've ever sent me. I respect that.
No. That would be this one...
I found this record in a shop years ago. And I'm still not positive that Tennille is not actually attracted to muskrats.
Nah. Captain & Tennille are acceptable kitsch.
That song should never be acceptable. And The Cap is a prick.
*Was* a prick
I didn't realise you knew him.
We used to go to the same milk bar.
I've never been able to hear Secret Smile in the same way since someone told me it was a metaphor for a vagina.
That's uncomfortable.
Maybe you're mixing it up with the film, Teeth?
Was that the Barry Gibb biopic?
That's what I thought I was settling down for...
That film would have been even scarier if her nether regions had Barry Gibb's face. And maybe a big medallion and huge white collars.
That needs to be optioned as soon as possible.
My Saturday night treat this week is my Covid jab.
Well, you're lucky. I'm still here without one.
Just got down to the under 50s. But I thought you might have been fast tracked because of your history.
Nah. That'd involve competence at a national level.
Maybe they have you down as an insurgent. You'll be last on the list, after Putin's undercover agents.
On a more positive side of all that, last year this week I was sat gasping for breath walking up stairs. Today I ran 10k for the first time in my life.
Marathon next?
I think I'm going to try for a half marathon next year. Maybe Manchester, which is flat compared to Sheffield.
Rol replies with the following image... which Ben chooses to ignore.
I wish I could grow a 'tache like that man in the background.
I have a weird obsession with middle age men and moustaches.
My hair is too blonde otherwise I would definitely just have a 'tache.
Has to be like an 80s businessman 'tache, though.
When I was a child, I used to watch the Thin Blue Line. I was too young to understand it but it had Mr Bean and I liked the moustache man.
That's a real generation gap thing. For my generation, Mr Bean was a betrayal of Blackadder, and we never forgave Atkinson.
My early years were spent watching the Three Stooges, Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes etc, so Mr Bean was right up my alley. As was Baldy Man.
I had to Google Baldy Man. Never knew he had a TV show. I only remember the Hamlet ad.
I don't remember much of it, just that I used to find it hilarious.
I miss the Hamlet ads. When I was a little, my dad smoked cigars. I loved the smell. Eventually he graduated onto pipes. Then one day, in my late teens, the doctor told him: they're killing you. So he quit. Cold Turkey.
That's admirable.
I think I'm too young to remember smoking ads.
I feel like I've seen them but not sure how much of that is due to seeing them on shows later.
I remember the billboard ads for Lambert and Butler.
TV was pretty much all smoking ads and booze ads when I was a kid. And scary ads warning us all not to die or get murdered.
And only one channel could show ads.
Indeed.
Have you seen The Offspring's Covid inspired song? It defies belief.
I last listened to Americana.
I know the singer got his PhD in infectious disease over the past few years though.
That probably explains the covid germs flying around in the video.
Why would anyone want a PhD in infectious diseases?
I realise there were a bunch of other 7 bands I could have chosen to illustrate what's shaping up to be the biggest edition of this countdown to date. Bands like...
(I've never heard of them before either, but Jim in Dubai is a fan. I honestly had to check the lead singer wasn't a young Simon Cowell.)
However, I always had a lot of time for Shed Seven, or "what Oasis might have been if they hadn't been a bunch of absolute Aresholes" as I like to think of them. They put out a bunch of cracking Britpop singles, never took themselves too seriously, and always put on a good live show.
Here's a Positive Song For Negative Times from them...
And now on with the show, which will, by necessity, be a lot of your tunes and very little of me talking this week, if I'm to have a cat in hell's chance of getting through all the 7 songs you suggested.
(Update: well, that didn't happen, did it?)
At least The Swede got his artists and titles the right way around this week...
Day off today and up late, yet still the first one in!
I know, it's like they all have better things to do first thing on a Tuesday morning, isn't it? But what could be better than this? Anyway, on you go, Swede...
Lynchie recalled: I met the prog rock band Egg at a bed & breakfast place in Dundee sometime around 1970 if memory serves me well. Can't say I was a fan.
George wondered: Of Dundee or Egg?
Lynchie replied: Both!
I used to write ads for the radio station in Dundee. Never got the opportunity to visit.
Well, it's definitely the best thing Neneh Cherry ever put her name to.
Oh wait, here's Alyson again...
My pick would be Youssou N'Dour/Neneh Cherry though with 7 Seconds as wrote about it recently so found out so much more of the back story - Again, don't include this bit, but here is a cut and paste:
Sorry Alyson, I need something to break up the endless list, so you're subbed.
'7 Seconds is apparently about the first positive 7 seconds in the life of a newborn child, a child who does not know about the problems and violence in our world. Three different languages were used in the song: English, French and Wolof, which is a language spoken in Senegal, Gambia, and Mauritania.'
See. That was far more interesting than just another boring list, wasn't it?
You sure about that, Douglas? My research says it was written by Elvis & Jimmy. And I pulled the Deluxe Edition of Blood & Chocolate off the shelf to check. That would have been my choice, anyway.
I have a lot of time for Guy Garvey, but I know I didn't spend enough time on that last album. That's lovely.
Alyson, meanwhile, is still worrying about appearing cool. Listen, Alyson, Martin proudly suggested Sting, so you've got nothing to worry about!
My hard drive obviously comes from Planet Uncool as very little overlap with the above choices at all. Other than Love and Youssou N'Dour, I have the following:
Pretty sure I'm going to irk a lot of musos with that lot.
Like I said, Martin too that crown this week. And it's not like you suggested Ken Dodd again, is it?
And, as a 7 band, my hard drive is littered with material by those giants of pre-teen pop S Club 7 as my daughter was just the right age for them at the turn of the millennium.
Surprised that hasn't come up yet. Graham Fellows (Or Jilted John as some people may know him better as)- Seven Pints & a Suicide
Or John Shuttleworth, adds Rigid Digit, a truly right thinking man if ever there was one. Who else could impart the panic and shock of opening the fridge and findings two margarines on the go.
I woke up this morning with the riff from 7 Reasons by Revenge running in my head, the best New Order song not by New order.
Back to Doug in Canada...
Okay, this time I am still late, and despite the whopper load of songs already listed, I see there are a few left to nab! I would of course have taken R.E.M, myself, but on the philosophy that they can't win two weeks in a row (can they?) I am glad my second favourite choice of all 7 songs is still available, so here goes:
More like it. Mr. Gedge has far more chance around here than Mr. LeBon.
Audience--Seven Sore Bruises
That actually has featured here before, even though it's not the far superior Sophie Ellis Bextor band. Unfortunately, the version on youtube appears to have been hacked by the Russians, possibly as a revenge attack for The Scorpions. (See Sunday's post if you don't know what I mean. Do keep up.)
(Speaking of Ms. Ellis-Bextor... this was obviously a b-side...
Boy, talk about left with the scraps! I was going to wow you with Wah! Heat's Seven Minutes To Midnight,and that has already been mentioned at least twice! All of the best ones are taken, and even most of my songs from the B squad are already here. Time for the C squad:
And finally comes Alyson, with some sage advice...
Think you're going to have to trim this list down, probably...
I'm trying to avoid trimming at this late stage... much as I may live to regret that decision in the remaining weeks. ...but as is tradition I will throw in an oldie for sake of completeness:
I'm guessing that's a different Paul Evans, though I stand to be corrected.
Good luck with getting through that little lot above (no pressure remember to deliver every week).
Good job too, considering how I failed to get through all this last week.
All of which leaves me with only the scrapings from my own hard-drive... but I may whittle that list down a little for my sanity this week. Lots of 7" mixes I had to skip past while searching through these.
However... when I began this countdown, approximately 77 years ago, I knew immediately what number 7 would be on the Hot 100. Just as I've known all along what #1 will be.
Looking up at the list above me now, I can see a number of tracks I might pick instead of this one... some truly excellent tunes that I couldn't be without. But this is what I'm going with, as suggested by The Swede, because... erm... I don't really know why. But it's Prince, and that'll do nicely.
Plus the video is absolutely bonkers...
Only half a dozen to go. And so, as George once sang... I Want Your Six!
30 Seconds To Mars are the band illustrating this week's post. A band that I've never been able to listen to because... I'm very sorry... Jared Leto is a tool.
Anyway, onto your suggestions...
Martin was first out of the traps, with a track that has already featured here twice, getting its final outing this week...
Rigid Digit jumped in to tell us he loved the first two Wonder Stuff albums but doesn't rate them after that. Contrary as ever, my favourite Wonder Stuff record is their fourth one. Still, RD reckons their new song sounds like Jon By Jovi, so I might have to give that a try. ;-)
"Lyrically," Martin concludes, "you'll be here all day." (We probably will be anyway, thanks to Douglas, so I kept out of the lyrics search this week, unless you suggested them.) "I might as well get it out of the way and be the first to reference 30 years of hurt in..."
As you know, I have little time for the Glorious Game, but I do like The Lightning Seeds. So as football songs go, this is one of the only ones I have any time for.
Next up, Rigid Digit had a couple of suggestions of his own...
He makes records too? What, like he doesn't have enough money already?
Alyson wondered if both her suggestions would be disqualified because they're times. No, because if I disqualified them, I might also have to disqualify this week's runner up...
Thanks, Jim. I think I'll stick with Robert Downey Jr.
And then came Douglas.
Take a deep breath folks, because he's in it to win it this week...
"I was surprised how much tougher a round number like 30 was to find in my collection than I would have though. The best I could do pulled up some pretty great songs, but with references to 30 that were a little bit of a stretch, such as the time reference in
"Now, I have never been the greatest BNL fan, despite their origins from the streets of my own home town of Toronto and the leg-up the received in airplay and support from our then-mighty local alternative independent radio station CFNY. But they have pulled together some amusing lyrics from time to time, and I have always found the above description of compulsive record shopping very poignant and pointedly relevant to myself and my closest friends of the time."
I think we can all relate to that, Douglas. I can take the BNLs in small doses. Particularly One Week and that lightbulb song.
Well the judge and the jury came into the court room
About 9:30, the 23rd of Jun
Now we're all here to try your crime
To see if we'll set you free or make you serve your time
Very early Bruce. Great bit of guitar.
"Perhaps more directly a 30 reference is in The Beautiful South's The Rocking Chair, where it expresses the disappointment and dissatisfaction with the situation one finds one in after the passage of years:"
So I'll take these high-heeled shoes
And yes I'll take these traditional views
I'll take this deep despair
Of a 30 year old square, to the rocking chair...
Paul Heaton went through a phases of writing some great songs about growing old, about 20 years ago. He doesn't seem to do that anymore. Too close to home?
Now, Douglas had one other suggestions, which we'll come to in a moment. Because I've a feeling that some of you may have already guessed that it's this week's winner.
I reckon George must have guessed I'd go for it... which is why he desperately searched his record collection for any alternative he could find...
"And The Auctioneer by Leroy van Dyke mentions a 30 dollar bid," George adds, in a final, Canutian attempt to head off the inevitable.
Thanks, George. I've lost count of how many times that track has been suggested in the course of this feature. And it's a special favourite of mine since my dad was an auctioneer when I was a kid.
OK, before we get to the winner, what other 30s were clogging up my hard-drive?
But there could only be one winner, and although I had thought The Supremes would take it this week, Douglas's persistence finally paid off...
"Perhaps y'all will forgive me when I mention that when I thought of the (Beautiful South's) use of "30" to express lost hopes and dreams of youth it immediately put me in mind of a song I recall went the rounds of my grade-school playground, lyrics being parroted uncomprehendingly by innocent young uns who must have heard it on the radio, for it did reach number 8 on Billboard's Top 40 in 1978:
Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was thirty years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in dress she used to wear
Faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind...
"Now after mentioning that, I think I will go off and drink myself half-blind as well, for I feel sure that is the first and only time Barry Manilow will be mentioned on these pages..."
However, as Douglas quickly discovered, that was not actually the case...
"Okay, I feel better now. After writing the above, I thought to do a search of the blog and found that what I said about Manilow was not true, and our esteemed author himself wrote in 2014, "...I'm not ashamed to say there are Barry Manilow records in my collection, or that I enjoy getting them out from time to time..." and in 2016, "I've never felt guilty about enjoying a bit of the old Bazzer boogie...". And "Copacabana" itself has been featured more than once in "Top Ten" lists, once reaching the giddy heights of No. 2! So perhaps, just perhaps, he may have a chance of bringing me victory at long last, and I can stop practicing my Marlon Brando voice, saying "I could have been a contender!""
A contender no more, Douglas. You are a champion! Although you did cut your lyrics short before they go to the best bit...
She lost her youth
And she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind...
From 30 Seconds To Mars to the Copacabana. That's this blog in a nutshell.
