Snapshots #419 - Legs & Feet Songs

This is Betty Grable. You can't see her legs, but she had them insured for a million bucks. That was back when a million bucks was worth something.

Here are ten songs that go below the waistline...

15. I'm sick of quiche for tea - and so is Woody!

Flan again, mum? 

Flanagan & Allen - Underneath The Arches

14. Second Greatest Showman and Sex Machine unite.

The Greatest Showman starred Hugh Jackman. His sidekick in that movie was Zac Efron. James Brown was the sex machine.

Zac Brown Band - Toes

13. They mate for life - and never stray too far.

Lobsters mate for life - according to Phoebe in Friends, anyway.

Close Lobsters - Knee Trembler

12. Trump had one... so did Babel.

Tower Of Power - What Is Hip?

I'm sure there will be some debate as to whether the hip bone is too high up the body, but the thigh bone is connected to it, so I'm using that as my excuse.

11. Introducing Michael Knight’s car!

As I'm sure you're all aware, Michael Knight drove the Knight Industries Two Thousand... KITT.

This Is The Kit - Creeping Up Our Shins

10. You know you want to!

The Persuaders - Thigh Spy

Might save that one for the CCCC.

9. The Holly and… another famous Plant.

Holly Johnson, not Ivy. And Robert Plant.

Robert Johnson – Milkcow’s Calf Blues

8. In a tangle? Learn how to Offset Arrears.

"Offset Arrears" was an anagram.

Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels

And he'd be arrested for harassing that librarian in this day and age.

7. Napoleon, perhaps?

Was Napoleon France's Nero? Well, they were both Emperors...

Frances Nero - Footsteps Following Me

6. Found inside puzzling octopuses.

PuZZling ocTOPuses.

ZZ Top - Legs

Another one for the Committee.

5. Scott & T-Bone hit the road.

Scott and T-Bone Walker hit the Street.

Streetwalkers - Toenail Draggin'

4. Sensible, Wellington, Attack.

Captain Sensible, Beef Wellington, Heart Attack...

Captain Beefheart - I Wanna Find a Woman That'll Hold My Big Toe Till I Have To Go

3. Half a Catwoman makes a cake...

Julie Newmar was a Catwoman. Half of that is Julie N. A baker makes cakes.

Julien Baker – Sprained Ankle

2. The Portia VAT leaves you flummoxed.

"Portia VAT" was an anagram...

Pavarotti – O Sole Mio

1. You’re always on the run now.

Lyrics from Gloria by Laura Branigan.

If Ernie guessed the link yesterday in double quick time, it may well be that the idea was already in his head.

When he emailed me with the idea for last week's SS, he mentioned he'd been trying to put together a Legs and Feet Snapshots, but went with the Left Right one instead. I almost replied, "Glad you did - because I've got a Legs & Feet Snapshots ready to go... and then I thought, "D'oh, if you do that, you'll give him the answer!" So I kept schtum. But great minds and all that...

More of this nonsense next week...

 

Conversations With Ben #7: Cover Me

 

Link to above news story.

Ben: Well that's a win win for everyone.

Rol: I'd rather watch James any day of the week.

Exactly. It's like he's retaliating but it's turned out better.

Taking his mask off to spite his face.

On my Spotify random bit, a Darkness cover of Street Spirit (Fade Out) came up. Possibly a contender for the worst cover song ever.

Worse than Mark Ronson's cover of Stop Me?

Similar lines. Like how in Stop Me you can hear how it might be a dance song but one of the good things about it is it's restraint. Similarly, Street Spirit sounds like it could be a bombastic metal song but shouldn't.

Is that Darkness cover as bad as this...?

I opened that, saw the thumbnail and now refuse to watch it.

You know you want to. 3am. Save it for 3am.

To be fair, I only listened to 3 seconds of it before sending it to you.

Or what about Duran Duran doing 911 Is  A Joke?

Willie Nelson just did an album of Sinatra covers. That is sublime.

It's not Danzig doing Elvis, though.

And no covers album can ever come close to Strange Little Girls by Tori Amos so no one should try.

Actually  that is my favourite Tori Amos record.

And so it should be.

Mark Kozelek Sings Favourites?

Anything post Red House Painters should be ignored.

He's like Coldplay for pitchfork.

No.

You are wrong.

And to prove it, he has released 3 new records since your last comment.

Each one, a more generic beige than the last.

He is the king of grumpy old bastards.

It's performance art.

Like putting his diary out on record.

Not for everyone, but I get a lot out of listening to him ramble on about dead skunks in his yard.

It comforts me.

Look, a visual representation of Mark Kozelek's music...

You're just upsetting me now.

Try Death Grips, they're comforting.

Try the song Guillotine. It genuinely induces a sense of seasickness.

I don't want to feel seasick. I feel sick all the time anyway.

They're performance art. Like genuine performance art.

I only hope that when you're my age, Sufjan is putting out records like Kozelek is now. You'll get it then.

Sufjan will always put out records. And they'll always be amazing. And he'll one day finish the other 48 state albums.

Go away now. You're interrupting my crying myself to sleep. With Kozelek.

Try the new Julien Baker album for real cry to sleep music.

You keep missing the point. I don't want music that makes me cry. I want music that takes my mind off the crying.

Black Lace?

I just found a worse cover version than any we've named so far...

I dunno, The Sound Of Silence cover by Disturbed is very bad.

And then there's RHCP with Brandy and Higher Ground.

The whole of The Spaghetti Incident by Guns 'n' Roses.

Since I Don't Have You was OK. Although the video is dreadful, even by Axl standards.

I just spent 5 minutes investigating Sting and Shaggy duets on youtube. Sadly no covers.

When I was a teen, this compilation album started that is still going. Punk goes pop. It's not bad but incredibly mediocre. Very cut and paste pop punk covers.

I miss AV undercover club.

Alien Ant Farm's version of Smooth Criminal now sounds better than the original.

Did they do AV undercover?

No idea. But it seemed in the right area.

It was very varied. Wang Chung did Modest Mouse, it was great. Punch Brothers covered Reptilia. Lots of stuff.

Pinball Wizard... The Who or Elton?

Elton.

Despite being raised on Mod music, I do not understand the love for The Who.Great riffs, awful songs.

I spent a full two weeks listening exclusively to Isle of Wight and still didn't get it

Love me some Elton, though. And the Elton John biopic is the best biopic out there.

I like The Who. But you chose right. Elton brings a manic nature to the song that takes it to another level.

My dad, who is now 91 and so grew up with Sinatra, pre-pop music, and has never had any interest in any pop music... had a brief flickering of interest in The Who a few years ago because he liked all the CSI theme songs. Then he caught a bit of them playing Glastonbury and changed his mind.

You really need to watch Joe Pera. There's an episode where he discovers Baba O'Reilly...

Yes. You showed me that. I just couldn't find the show anywhere.

Just checked, Joe Pera on All4. 10 minute episodes. Gentle and honest. Literally the perfect Covid comedy.