As Half Man Half Biscuit reminded us on Friday, yesterday was Record Store Day. And so, to celebrate, rather than taking out a second mortgage (the first one's bad enough), I dug out 15 songs about record companies. They're rarely complementary...
15. Soft focus.
I know, I know, these guys only featured here a couple of weeks back, but I couldn't not include this...
Many thanks to Jim in Dubai for suggesting this week's opening image and reminding us all of 90s Italo House band The 49ers... though, to be honest, I could have done without the reminder.
Far more interesting was Jim's second band-related suggestion, 49 Americans with the track Should Be More Ideal...
True enough, Alan... but at least it's not Italo House.
As for the 49ers... call me an old fogey, but I far preferred Douglas McClaren's latest, Canadian-themed suggested...
This week's winner though was correctly identified by The Swede. Proof, if further proof were needed, that Joe Walsh was far more interesting than the Eagles gave him credit for. Remember: this man ran for President against Ronald Reagan (even though he was too young at the time to have been elected).
I have an obvious cool answer and an obvious slightly-less-cool answer for 48... but I'm sure we'll find some others too. Over to you.
If you're a music blogger, and you choose the records you write about because you think other people will think they're cool... and by extension that you are cool for liking them... then you are being a music blogger for the wrong reason. Go be a music journalist if you want people to think you're cool. Go work for the NME. (Well, what's left of it.) Some people - the ones who follow the crowd - may end up thinking you're cool. The rest of us will probably think you're a tool who occasionally gets it right, but... well, at least you'll be getting paid.
No, if you're a music blogger, you you never choose your songs because of what other people might think - about the songs or about you. You should just go ahead and pick the songs you like, write about them, and please yourself. Screw what anybody else thinks. The really cool people (not the NME journalists) will respect you for that, even if they don't agree with you.
Many fine (and cool) songs were suggested for the number 69. Here's a selection...
Oh, and of course, Charity Chic had to throw in a mention for this lot, who would have been at the top of the page were it not for my favourite Magnetic Fields album...
Other contenders from my own record collection included...
Phew - 69 appears to be an inextricably popular number with popular musicians. Go figure.
In the end though, I refer you all back to my opening paragraphs. There could only be one winner this week, even though I knew it wouldn't be a particularly popular choice in many quarters. It's a song I've written about before here and may even do so again. Sorry if you don't like it: your loss.
(Oh, and in case you're going to accuse me of choosing a year song when there were some fine non-year tracks I could have had instead... well, Bryan himself claims this song isn't about 1969 at all...)
68 next week, and an equally obvious choice for me. We'll see if you agree...
Whitey Morgan & The 78s (worth a dabble if you like a bit of Americana) welcome you to the latest edition of the Hot 100 Countdown as we reach number seventy eight... a number for which, once I'd discounted songs about 1978, there were two clear contenders.
We'll get to those in a moment. First though, your suggestions...
Martin was first out of the gate with something which would have been a clear winner had this been about 1978...
Rigid Digit was among those suggesting today's winner, but he also offered a couple more sterling contenders that live right next to each other in all our record collections. This...
The winner though? Obvious, it seems. Suggested first by Lynchie, then seconded by just about everybody else.
My other half went to uni with the lead singer of Gomez. Her only memory of him is that he was "a bit full of himself", which I guess goes with the territory if you're gonna be a pop singer. However, I'd back this up by saying that the one time I saw Gomez play live in the late 90s, they spoiled a perfectly fine gig by not knowing when to finish and doing about 27 encores like they were James Brown or someone with a lot more than just one half-decent album to go at. We left at about encore five, but for all I know they carried on all night. They'd probably still be doing the show today if the venue in question hadn't been knocked down 15 years ago.
Anyway...
Next week... 77. Any suggestions gratefully received.
The SLFs claim to have been betrayed by Rough Trade lies...
We quit our jobs and got all set to fly Your promises had us riding high But it's a dirty rough tough trade we find "Yeah we agreed, but you hadn't signed Sorry, son, gonna have to throw you Our lawyers say we don't even know you" Music is money, kids are no-account fools You trade in us, we get betrayed by you
Meanwhile, Graham Parker remains "the best kept secret in the West" because of his own lacklustre record company...
The geriatric staff think we're freaks They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks! Inaction speaks, and I've got Mercury poisoning - it's fatal and it don't get better!
From back in the days when record companies handed out free money just for a signature on the dotted line... and some fools tried to take advantage of that.
Nigel Blackwell gently pokes fun at the most indie of record companies and its roster of bizarrely named bands.
I dream of occasional fanzine mentions I’ve been to one too many David Lynch Conventions I play postal chess with a man who doesn’t know me I’ve got a better frown than Tony Iommi And I’ve got a 4AD3DCD A 4AD3DCD A 4AD3DCD And I’m on a foundation course
A warning to all prospective rock stars about the dangers of going downtown and selling your soul to the company man when all they want to do is "sell plastic ware".
The outrageously rebellious image of the Sex Pistols seems now like yobbish posturing steered to success by the machiavellian mind of Malcolm McClaren. How seriously could anyone take the world's most famous punk once he started selling dairy products? At the time though, it was utterly (butterly) believable and the final track on Never Mind The Bollocks... was a giant one-fingered salute to their former record company that helped make Richard Branson more The Man than anyone at EMI.
We write what we live and we live what we write, is that wrong? If you think it is Mr Music Executive why don't you write your own songs? And don't listen to mine, they might run you crazy They might make you dwell on your feelings a moment too long We're making you rich and you're already lazy So just lay on your ass and get richer or write your own songs.
They said we'd be artistically free When we signed that bit of paper They meant let's make a lotta money And worry about it later
A smarter and more credible record company protest song than the Sex Pistols could ever have managed. The Clash were true punks, even when they went reggae.
I wish I'd been aware of this song back when I was writing my Rebel DJ versus Evil Corporate Entertainment Company comic, The Jock. I could have put lyrics like this to excellent use...
This is Joe Public speaking I'm controlled in the body, controlled in the mind
A promising rock 'n' roll career implodes, perhaps because "Their A&R man said 'I don't hear a single"... or perhaps because the temptations of rock star excess prove too much. A young Johnny Depp plays Eddie Rebel in the video, the "rebel without a clue" whose luck turns bad when he turns his back on his manager, Faye Dunaway. Stick around for a cameo from a pre-Friends Matt LeBlanc in the song's closing moments...
1. The Smiths - Paint A Vulgar Picture
You don't get a more caustic assessment of the "sickening greed" of the "sycophantic slags" who work for The Man... although there's a certain irony now hearing Morrissey deride the culture of "Re-issue! Repackage! Repackage! Re-evaluate the songs...", not to mention "Best of! Most of! Slip them into different sleeves!" Still, he's yet to give away a tacky badge. It was a very different business back then though, wasn't it?
See also Frankly, Mr. Shankly which was Moz taking poisonous aim at Geoff Travis, head of Rough Trade, a man who (apparently) wrote some truly awful poetry...
