Showing posts with label Tex Williams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tex Williams. Show all posts

Wednesday, 11 March 2026

Another Day #6: National No Smoking Day



I think I've smoked about three cigarettes in my life, and each time was to impress a girl. The same girl. I suppose I kind of liked the buzz, but not enough (thankfully) to become addicted or have any desire to spend any of my own hard-earned cash on the things. How many fewer CDs would have I have been able to afford, if I'd developed a habit? How many comics would I not have been able to buy?


My dad smoked cigars when I was a kid, and I always loved the smell of them. As he got older, and had less money, he switched to a pipe and tobacco. I've probably mentioned this before, but one day in his early 60s, a doctor told him, "you keep smoking that pipe and you won't be here in ten years time". So my dad quit, cold turkey, and lived another 30 years... although arguably some damage had already been done, and he struggled with emphysema and other bronchial disorders, and (old age aside), those were probably what got him in the end.


My Mum only smoked the occasional cigarette, at parties. Whenever I saw her with one in her hand, I became upset. I grew up watching some pretty graphic smoking ads on TV... from an early age, I was pretty well indoctrinated against fags... unless I thought I might use one to get a girl to like me.


It's hard to believe now just how much the smell of cigarette smoke used to be everywhere when we were teenagers... and how rare it is to smell them these days. It's all bloody vapes with the kids these days. Horrible things, with their claggy, artificial scents. Makes me feel a certain nostalgia for fag smoke... and definitely for cigars.


Here are a few more songs about smoking... 

 



Golden Earring - Smoking Cigarettes



What about you? Are you a reformed smoker? Or still sneaking one down a dark alley when nobody's looking?

Friday, 2 May 2025

Emergency Questions #3: Shit Hotel


Avi Vinocur - Shit Hotel

Tex Williams - The Night Miss Nancy Ann's Hotel for Single Girls Burned Down

Another one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions to jump-start our Friday conversations...

What's the worst experience you've ever had in a hotel?

Unlike the Frequent Flyers and Another Holiday Already? types that read this blog, I don't spend a lot of time in hotel rooms. Louise isn't fond of hotels, so most of our family holidays are spent in rented cottages. Sam and I brave a Premier Inn once a year for our annual boy's getaway - he's a big fan of the All You Can Eat breakfast. Imagine his horrid during the post-covid year when we booked into a Travelodge that promised "breakfast included" to discover that it constituted a Kellogg's variety pack (random choice) and a carton of Kia Ora. Never again!

Northern Portrait - In An Empty Hotel

Big Pig - Big Hotel 

Is that the worst experience I've ever had in a hotel room then? Sam would certainly say so. And I'm not sure I can think of anything worse... no rats or cockroaches or views of the local rubbish dump. I'm sure you guys can help out with that though.

Conor Oberst - Empty Hotel By The Sea

Band Of Holy Joy - Empty Purse Found in Hotel Lobby

My only other vaguely relevant anecdote today is from a holiday with my sister and her family in my teenage years. This was either Jersey or Brittany... I can't remember which, but they were the only two holidays I went on with them. File this one under disconcerting...

The cottage must have had three bedrooms: one for my sister and her husband, one for their two kids (my eldest nephew is only four years younger than me) and one for me. I'd reached the age where it was no longer cool to go on holiday with my parents, but I wasn't old enough to go off on my own... and I never had mates who suggested a week in Ibiza (thank GOD). 

Anyway, I woke up one morning to discover that my pillow was missing. When I looked, it was over the other side of the room... wedged under the door, as though trying to stop someone or something getting in.  I hadn't done that myself (not consciously, at least) so I wondered then... and still wonder today... how that happened.

Elvis Presley - Heartbreak Hotel

Chris Isaak - Blue Hotel

Musicians spend more time in hotel rooms than just about any other profession, except travelling salesmen and Ernie. Most of the time, they're not trashing them and throwing the TV out into the swimming pool (that's just Ernie)... instead, they just sit around writing miserable songs about life on the road...

The Ataris - My Hotel Year

Jimmy Buffett - This Hotel Room

The Kinks - Sitting In My Hotel

Elton John - Holiday Inn

Gordon Lightfoot - Hangdog Hotel Room

The most evocative of these doesn't mention the word hotel in its title, but it was the first track I thought of today. Anyone who's seen Lloyd Cole live in the last 25+ years will have heard him explain what a Spectra-Vision girl is...

Just another bunch of would be desperados
Failing to pace themselves against the grain
Strung out on semantics, Holiday-Inn vigilantes, 
Late night, early town
Am I supposed to sleep, here all alone
'Neath the shadow of the mini-bar, with the promise of a Spectra-Vision girl?



What's the worst experience you've ever had in a hotel?


Sunday, 30 April 2023

Snapshots #290: A Top Ten Smoking Songs

Castro your mind back 24 hours to yesterday's smoking Snapshots clues. I hope you didn't have to Fidel around too much to work them out.

I've only ever smoked about three cigarettes in my life, and each time I did, it was with the express intention of impressing a girl. And it never worked.

Caution: Cigarette Smoking May Be Hazardous to Your Health (and Self-Respect).


10. Inside the Boa Sisters.

Possibly the most obvious photo I've ever run here. The clue was academic. They haven't changed a bit. (Except to get more annoying.)

Oasis - Cigarettes & Alcohol

9. Sounds like you should send a message to Hank.

Text Williams!

Tex Williams - Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)

8. Gory sweethearts.

My Bloody Valentine - Cigarette In Your Bed

Sounds like a 70s Public Safety Film waiting to happen.

7. Crossroads handyman lays out the letters for male.

The Crossroads handyman was Benny. He's just learned how to Spell 'Man'.

Benny Spellman - Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)

6. Surround sound.

Dolby Surround Sound, that is.

Thomas Dolby - Close But No Cigar

5. Hounds of Love.

Dogs D'Amour - Lady Nicotine

4. They're Abba-cum-Wham.

It's an anagram!

Chumbawamba - Give the Anarchist a Cigarette

3. Almond. Soy. Coconut. COW'S.

Cow's is the LOUDER milk.

John D. Loudermilk - Tobacco Road

That's the original. You may be more familiar with the Nashville Teens version (they weren't from Nashville and were mostly in their twenties), but the clue wouldn't have been as good.

2. 11 + 4 + Half the words we speak.

The 11th letter of the alphabet is K. The 4th is D. The words we speak are language. Half of that...

kd lang - My Last Cigarette

You could also have had any of the other songs on kd's smoking-themed LP 'Drag'. Or, to be honest, I'd also have allowed this...

kd lang - Constant Craving

1. How Shakespeare might announce he's just arrived at one of the country's biggest festivals.

O! Tis' Reading! I hope it's not another mudbath this year...

Otis Redding - Cigarettes and Coffee


Saturday Snapshots will be back next week, but it will be strictly NO SMOKING.

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