Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney sang Ebony & Ivory, about black and white living together in harmony on the piano keyboard. If Stevie were on his own, it'd just be...
No, I couldn't find any pictures of Joe Biden holding a camera. Neither do I expect Joe Biden to be a truly great president. But at least he once worked with one (even if Obama didn't achieve everything he set out to do, he remained a decent figurehead throughout).
The main thing Biden has in his favour is that he's Not Trump. In the same way I voted for Corbyn purely because was not Not Boris. Frankly, the Democrats could have put Tom Hanks & Michael Bolton on the ticket and I'd have voted for them instead of Trump. Just as Labour could field James Corden with Bono as deputy and I'd be putting my X in their box, no matter how detestable I find them both.
I'll leave the final word today to Sam, aged 7, yet already an expert political analyst.
"I think Donald Trump is going to break all the ornaments in The White House so that when Joe Biden moves in, he's not got anything nice."
I've got so many series on the go at the moment, I can't keep up with them all. So here's a Top Ten of Grumpy Old Men songs (aided and abetted by a few grumpy old women) based around the idea that things were much better when I was a lad. Y'know: strikes, power-cuts, the three day week, Margaret Thatcher, the Yorkshire Ripper, Kajagoogoo... I'm talking the good old days now!
(Nothing personal against Kajagoogoo. They just have a funny name.)
When I did a google image search on "things ain't what they used to be", the above image popped up and I felt it somehow appropriate.
One of those songs you pick up on an old Uncut or Mojo CD, burn to your record library, then never actually listen to until 20 years later when you come up with a random post idea and... not bad, actually.
Amazing that this is the first time Neil Young has featured in my Grumpy Old Men series...
Talk to me, my long lost friend, tell me how you are Are you happy with your circumstance, are you driving a new car? Does it get you where you want to go, with a seven year warranty? Or just another hundred thousand miles away From the days that used to be
Can we ever live up to what our parents' generation went through. Probably not...
Whoah-oh, story after story Of all your faded glory Is all I ever hope to live up to Whoah-oh, know as I get older I'm standing on your shoulders Trying to be just like you But they don't make 'em like they used to
Most things change, but some things stay the same...
There's a freeway where we played football in the fields Apartments on the pitch at Highbury There's a shed called Deer Creek Of which my one critique Is there's no creek now and it's all deer-free
There's a Walgreens where there was no wall, just greenery There's a theme park in a palace in Tennessee That tree there is a pylon But some things you can rely on There's a Starbucks where the Starbucks used to be
Considering Marvin wrote this heartfelt plea for the ecology back in 1971, you can imagine him turning in his grave every time Donald The Trump opens his mouth.
Wait, you say. Those aren't the lyrics to a Max Bygraves song! They're the lyrics to The Kinks' 1983 comeback single, Come Dancing. True enough, but I bet Ray was thinking of Max's big hit from 23 years earlier when he penned those lines... if you don't believe me, just listen to the opening lines of Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'Be.
Here's a proper grumpy old man song for you! Go on, Max!
80p for a bag of crisps? I remember when you could get a bag of crisps for 12p!
Back in the early 90s, I briefly considered trying to get a mortgage for a £50,000 house. I decided against it: who wants a mortgage when they're in their early 20s? That same house is worth over £200,000 now.
You'd think pop stars wouldn't worry so much about the price of things... but then again, there's very few millionaires in the list below (with the possible exception of Tom: he must be worth a bob or two).
If you only got a thousand dollars You outta just buy a good guitar Learn how to play and it'll take you farther Than any old thousand dollar car If a thousand dollar car was truly worth a damn Then why would anybody ever spend ten grand Oh, why did I ever buy a thousand dollar car?
The Handsome Family do a pretty good version of this too, available here.
A drunken first date deal to each get a tattoo might seem like something both parties would come to regret, but E turns this into a sweet little love song...
It hurt a little, hell, it hurt a lot But a man who won't commit is something I'm not A little tear rolled down her face When it was done we went back to her place...
Quite a bit of discussion about this song over at the Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project, including what kind of keyboard it was that Nigel Blackwell got for £24.99 from Argos (and presumably recorded this song on) and where the twiddly bits in the tune might originate.
1. Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris - $1000 Wedding
A thousand dollars would be bloody cheap for a wedding these days, but I guess when Gram and Emmylou sang about it, it was pretty pricey.
Loads of ideas for Top Ten lists... not enough time to write them. Here's another entry into my musical tour of the USA, stopping off in one of the five boroughs of New York City... because if I start trying to tackle the city as a whole, I'll be here till the end of time.
Admittedly, this 10th spot would have gone to John Peel favourites Bob with their 1989 single 'Esmerelda Brooklyn'... if only I'd been able to find it anywhere online. Al Stewart gets a pass instead, a well-deserving runner-up.
Seattle's Barton Carroll has a nicely cynical Nick Lowe-ish edge to his songwriting.
I'm not a dandy or the sharpest knife in the drawer
and I've always had to work with my hands,
But I use what I was given and I work for a living
and that's more than you can say for your man.
Every now and then, in the course of compiling these charts, I come across a song I've never heard before by an artist I've never heard before, that's really quite lovely. I was taken with this one, until Louise came in and asked, "What are you listening to - it sounds like Kermit." Too late, I'd already downloaded it from Amazon. On her account (accidentally) - that''ll teach her to leave it signed on!
Ten years ago, Jesse Malin released an album, The Fine Art of Self-Destruction, which still remains his career best. This song goes a long way towards explaining why.
Yes, I'm breaking one of my main rules here, but I couldn't resist. This one's a classic, written by the great Jimmy Webb, sung like his life depended on it by the late Johnny Maestro and his band... Brooklyn Bridge.
Someone on youtube describes them as "the American Mumford & Sons", which isn't a bad comparison. This is the most beautiful song they've yet recorded. Oh, and Brooklyn features heavily, even if it doesn't appear in the title.
1. The Beastie Boys - No Sleep Till Brooklyn
Inevitably.
Were the Beastie Boys ever really this young? Were any of us...?
They were Brooklyn's best... unless you know different. As always, let me know your favourites - or any I left out...
